USS Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure
by TheNightShadows
Summary: While aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise, hot-tempered Junior Lieutenant Penelope A. Waters loses her best friend. As she struggles to come to terms with his death, Penelope accepts a promotion that places her second-in-command of the Enterprise's Engineering Deck, something she might not be ready for. Five years in deep-space for an officer with anger issues: best idea ever.
1. Chapter 1

**U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 1 – Biting the Dust and Spitting it Out**

 _When are you coming back, Penelope?_

The universe does not acknowledge good deeds. It is not concerned with the safety of the innocent or the health of the sick. It does not reward the brave.

Why Penelope Waters was still alive must then be chalked up only to some mysterious combination of quick thinking, technical skill, and good luck. Most of it likely not her own.

At least, that was what the engineering officer thought the moment she woke up in hospital when she'd expected never to wake up at all. Her vision came back slowly, with her hearing trailing far behind. Faintly, she could her a calm voice telling her to lie back, giving her the disorienting effect of hearing words spoken long after the mouth had moved. It reminded her of a simulation that had not loaded correctly.

"Where am I?" Penelope attempted to ask the slowly focusing form of what she assumed was a doctor, though moments later she realized her question had come out a near unintelligible: "W'r 'm I?"

Thankfully, the doctor seemed to understand. She answered in a London accent while waving various medical devices around her head. "Hello, Lieutenant Waters. Good to see you're finally awake. My name is Dr. Venara, and you are currently in a Starfleet Hospital on Earth."

Earth? The last thing she remembered was being in space aboard a starship crashing into her home planet.

"You have been unconscious nearly forty eight hours. Your ship, the _U.S.S Enterprise_ , was attacked. Do you remember that?" the physician asked, continuing on in her examination. _Two_ _days?_

Penelope nodded, her mind drawing back to the sight of the burning engine room and her fellow officers unconscious or dead. Some, she recalled, had been sucked out into space.

"Do you remember what happened to you during the attack?" the doctor probed, finally moving the device from her face and down to her lower abdomen. It was then that Penelope finally registered the pain of the wound she had sustained there. Her hiss drew the eyes of the doctor back up. "I apologize, Lieutenant. Would you like a pain regulator?"

"No," Penelope replied, thankful to have her mouth cooperating with her brain again.

"You're sure?" Dr. Venara pressed. "It would not make you drowsy. I don't think either of us wants you back asleep just yet." Penelope succinctly assured the doctor she was fine sans drugs, and so the doctor once again asked her about her memories regarding the date of the attack.

"There had been an explosion, not in our section, but in an adjacent one. The effect of this made many of our computers turn offline, and some damage to life support had been sustained. In addition, many functions of the starship's engine power had been-" Penelope quickly said.

The doctor smiled as she interrupted, "Lieutenant, I'm not asking for your report. I simply want you to walk us both through your personal experience of what occurred before you were knocked out."

"Why?" Penelope asked.

"Well," Dr. Venara answered, "Your brain scans appear normal, but due to the injury on your head, I'm a bit worried about the effect to your cognitive functions. That's why I feel it appropriate to find the limits of your memory that day."

"Oh-kay." Penelope said, a bit worried about the underlying implication of brain damage. She attempted to collect her thoughts. "I had spent the beginning of the mission solely in my quarters, and then at my station in engineering; however, Admiral Marcus's ship started to attack. Engineering was in disarray. Gravity became- OW!" Penelope was cut off when the doctor's machines were replaced with her hands around her stomach wound.

"Are you alright?" the doctor wondered, her touch gentling but not ceasing.

Penelope nodded. "Yes, it's fine, just wasn't paying attention."

"Go on."

"The pressure from the hull breach caused some around me to pass out, then I remember a piece of shattered metal hitting, hitting Johnny..." she trailed off. That she remembered in almost startling detail. The sight of a body flinging across the deck, landing a few feet away from her. His entire form had been caved in around the giant shard. She'd bent down to identify the crewmen as the metal floated away. It was Johnny, and all of a sudden, Penelope felt as though she couldn't breathe.

"Can you continue, Lieutenant Waters?" the voice from the doctor was as soft as a light summer rain. Johnny was dead. Dead. Really, properly dead. And she would give her life for his, in an instant. But later she could mourn, like George had said. Now she just needed to get out of this damn hospital.

"I- there was such...chaos. I realized that we needed to be secure to something. Gravity had changed, not like it did later, but because of the breach nearby. George and I were the only ones left in our section conscious. We- we buckled our breathing crewmates to their chairs on my orders. Warp had stopped then. I don't know why, but it made it easier to move around. Then we, I mean George and myself, tried to put out some of the fires that had started around."

The doctor urged her at her lapse in the recount. "Had you both secured yourselves?"

"Yes. We made sure there was a tie to the railing. That was clipped onto me, and I had a line connected to him..."

* * *

"Waters!" George yelled from some distance away. This was her only warning to the extinguisher tossed her way. Penelope deftly caught it, and the two began their way through the section. The pair went as carefully and quickly as possible, checking pulses and securing all living crewman in sight. They did not have time for the dead, like how Johnny was still lying back there. If there was another hull breach, if he got sucked out, no one would ever see him again...

"Come closer!" Penelope called over to him as she caught sight of a blasted line of tubing. "We need to reattach these cooling units!" She could feel the officer tugging on the line as he struggled to make his way. By the time her got to her, she was halfway through the task. George dropped down and began to help quicken the process.

Smoke from nearby started to cloud both their lungs, watering their eyes and making them cough. "Dammit!" George exclaimed. "Where the hell is medical?" That, Penelope thought, was an excellent question.

"Go see if you can put out that fire, George. I'll fix this, and then we'll regroup and get the impulse working again. We need access to the computers." The last part was hardly necessary, but Penelope's desperation was bleeding through her normally cool attitude. George nodded and sprinted away.

Once the tubing had been fixed, albeit in a very crude and temporary way, Penelope followed the line to George. She found that he had successfully extinguished the flames affecting a structure that made reverse thrusting possible.

"Waters, I managed to weld the bulkheads for the backup. We should be receiving power, at least to D Section, in half a minute."

Relief flooded Penelope's system, though she knew they were not out of the dark yet. "Good work, George." The smoke was still quite thick in this section, and once again they both broke out in a coughing fit.

Then, the power began to hum in D Section of Engineering. George let out a whoop of delight followed by a painful cough.

"All right, as far as this line stretches, check for crew and put out fires. If you see a malfunction in machines not absolutely necessary to fix, ignore it. Report back to me ASAP."

"Yes ma'am," George called cheerfully as he ran in the opposite direction. Penelope approached the computer dead ahead. Her PADD had been lost in the initial hull breach, and George's had caught aflame. The rest found on fallen crewmen were drained. Penelope suspected a possible energy interference, likely from the pressurized differences caused by the hull breach.

It was her first chance to contact the bridge, and more importantly, medical.

"Engineering D to the Bridge. Engineering D to the Bridge. Please respond," Penelope said to the computer, attempting to keep her voice as stable as possible. _Please, please, please respond._

"Bridge to Engineering D, this is Lieutenant Oplan. Do you have power there?" The crackled voice brought tears to her eyes. She began charging a PADD found on a crewwoman earlier.

"Yes, Lieutenant Oplan. This is Junior Lieutenant Waters in command of D Section Engineering Unit, reporting. Noted are two casualties. Only myself and Ensign George are currently conscious in D Section. After some quick work, auxiliary power has returned."

"Lieutenant Waters, power has now returned to all sections of engineering. Whatever you did, it's working."

Penelope felt a smile grace her lips at that, but then continued with hesitancy. "Lieutenant, the situation in C Section?"

"No contact from C Section that the Bridge is aware of." Penelope pushed past the emotions that sprung from that one statement. There was no time for that now.

"Permission to attempt entry into C Section and rescue any of the crew remaining."

There was a pause from the Bridge. The voice that answered her request was precise and hurried.

"Lieutenant Waters, this is Acting-Captain Spock. I have spoken to Chief Engineer Chekov. Your orders are to make your way to B Section of Engineering. There, you and any able-bodied engineers will attempt to increase the Enterprise's shield capabilities, reboot weapons systems, and increase the ability of warp travel. Under no circumstances will you or others enter C Section. A medical team should be arriving and dispersing through all sections of engineering. Please direct any injured crewmen to them. Acknowledge."

"Orders acknowledged, Captain."

"It is vital that you succeed. Spock out."

Penelope took the PADD from the charging dock and called out to George, following the line to him. When she found him, he was holding tightly onto Williams, thankfully conscious.

"Is there any more metal wiring?" George asked, wishing to secure Williams to them.

"None to spare," Penelope replied, unclipping the line from her, and attaching it instead around Williams waist.

"Wait, what about you, Wrenchy?" Williams argued. Penelope sighed at the inane nickname given to her by Scotty. How she managed to feel irritation under all her panic was a miracle.

"I'll manage. Our orders are to report to B Section and to get warp and shields up and running again." Not waiting to hear protest, Penelope clutched her PADD and led the trio past the now sealed C Section. Along the way, they encountered medics.

* * *

"Did you allow any of the medics to examine you or your fellow officers?" Dr. Venara asked.

Penelope shook her head. "No, our injuries were only minor at the time, and the medical section was burdened by much greater problems. We continued on our way after directing the medical team to our crewmen back in D."

* * *

The label to B Section precluded the absolute madness that had filled the area. Half of the remaining engineers were there, the other half in A Section. Both D and E Sections had been evacuated and were now considered non-essential. The situation in C Section was unknown to her, but likely bleak.

Many of the engineers had gotten the same idea as Penelope had, securing themselves along the railing or to a machine. Instructing George and Williams to aid Lieutenant Commander Yomai left Penelope with the chance to get her own body tied back into the rail lines.

Main power managed to weakly return, with backup power remaining stronger by the minute. Penelope joined a group of senior officers in their attempt to stabilize remaining shield power in case of further attacks.

Just as their project reached it's final stages, everything went to hell.

* * *

"The other ship attacked again?"

"Yes, Doctor. And that time, there was...I could not find any solution. The ship was falling...I remember feeling something hit my head as gravity once again shifted. I think I may have passed out."

* * *

"Uhhhh," Penelope moaned as she fluttered her eyes. There was a high pitched buzzing in her ears, keeping her from the crew's screams. Despite all the efforts from earlier, new fires had been set ablaze. Machines were sparking all around.

Rubbing her throbbing head, Penelope's fingers brought back blood when they returned to her gaze. The buzzing noise continued as she stumbled around, looking for...crewmen? Medics? Orders? She received some in the form of a blaring alert system.

"Attention all decks. Evacuation Protocols initiate. Repeat: Evacuation-"

Penelope didn't hear the rest over the whirring in her ears and the pained pleas from other engineers. She stumbled over to the computer dock, seeing that only auxiliary power remained, and not enough of it. Panic seeped back into her mind. There was nothing. Most of engineering was either dead or incapacitated. The Enterprise was falling. She didn't have the tools, the personnel, the strength to –

No. What could she do? That was the only question. There was always something she could do.

The answer appeared in the presence of a failing gravity system. Grateful for the secure metal lining attached around her waist, Penelope still let out a desperate yell as she was tugged sideways into the floor. Unfortunately, she landed on a misplaced sonic-wedge that lodged itself stubbornly in her abdomen.

"AHHHHHH!" she screamed as the pain coursed through her immediately. Blanking on every single lesson taught in mandatory first aid, Penelope felt her brain stop. There was so much...hurt. Everything was on fire: her head, her stomach, her legs and arms. She could feel sweat rolling down her body, cooling her not at all. It felt like she was melting from all the heat.

Penelope Waters was going to die.

The fact came to her rather abruptly. There would be no evacuation or rescue for her. Her head wound was bleeding and so was her side. Even if she was careful and the ship wasn't crashing, she'd bleed out before long.

That did not mean she would go down without a fight. Penelope clenched her teeth, picked herself up, and hauled her damaged body to B Section's artificial gravity generator. It was a large, highly complex system of wires, tubes, lines, chemical products, and Penelope convinced herself that she was going to do her damn well best to fix what she could and stabilize _Enterprise_. For Johnny, that's what she would do.

There was little she could do, as something was inherently wrong with the essential engineering systems. Likely the warp core of the ship, which was located in A Section. Despite her last burst of optimism, Penelope remained realistic about her chances of getting to the core without passing out first.

She did what she could, for as long as she could. At times, the gravity normalized, but never for long. Penelope remembered seeing a few bodies that were not secured fly past her, and she remembered how the blood began to leak from her head onto the panel and from her side into her boots.

An alert continued to blare in her ears, but she ignored it. Other engineers ran by, not paying her a thought as they rushed their fellows to Sickbay or evacuation pods. Her hands worked at a pace that was sluggish by her normal standards, but at this point, even her slowest movements caused a stabbing pain. The gravity was changing again, and finally, finally, Penelope stabilized again. It wouldn't last long, but it would give command more time. With each time the gravity failed, Penelope stabilized, thankful someone had redirected power to her.

Penelope could feel her mind slipping. Her eyes couldn't focus. The blood **–** she could feel it seeping all over her. She didn't dare look down, knowing what greeted her would be a bloody mess. Her legs shook, so Penelope slid down to a sitting position against the generator.

And then suddenly, power and lights flooded back into her deck, and Penelope let out a small cry of relief. Straight ahead, she told herself. Keep breathing, don't look down, and stay calm. She repeated the mantra over and over while her hands groped for her PADD.

Flipping open the device, Penelope called out weakly. "Waters to Medical. Please respond." About twenty seconds passed in near agony. Her breaths became short and pained, and her eyes were flickering.

"This is Medical Officer Johnson. Is this an emergency, Waters?"

"I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding," she panted into the communicator, failing to keep her thoughts straight. Stay calm, keep...breathing...

"How bad? Please respond. What is the severity of your injury?"

Calm, calm, she needed to be calm, but she was starting to cry. Fuck, it hurt. The metal twisting in her belly still remained.

"Waters! Give me your location so that I can send medics to you." Keep breathing, eyes ahead, stay calm. Was that the right order? Keep breathing, straight ahead, eyes calm. Yes?

Breathe.

"Waters! Hello? Give me your location, now." The voice on the other end had become insistent. Why? She had to breathe and stay calm and focus, dammit, focus.

Breathe...breathe...

"This is an order, Waters. Respond."

"B." God that hurt. Everything hurt.

"Section B? Of what unit, Waters?"

"Engine-engineer-please I need to breathe," she pleaded, her words coming out in pants.

"Waters, it's going to be fine. Turn on the signaling switch. There's a team nearby, but they need to know where you are in B Section." Her blood and sweat and grease slicked fingers just barely made the effort to do as the voice instructed.

"Waters, the medics are coming. Try to stay calm, and for god's sake, do not go to sleep!" The PADD communication line went dead. Calm. Yes, but not sleep? That was becoming more difficult. Penelope's head swam and the buzz once again filled her ears. How could she be so warm, and yet so cold at the same time?

As her mind slipped into the darkness, voices rippled at the edges of everything.

 _Death is not the end. It's an adventure..._

 _Don't be afraid, Penelope. It was just a dream..._

 _What the hell are you doing back here..._

 _It's the penal colony or Starfleet, Miss Waters. The choice is yours..._

 _You're pretty handy, Cadet. Ever thought about transferring to Engineering..._

 _We've received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged..._

 _Waters, Penelope: U.S.S. Enterprise. Good luck, Cadets, and Godspeed..._

 _You're pretty attached to that damn wrench, aren't ya, Waters..._

 _When are you coming back..._

 _When are you coming back, Penelope..._

* * *

"The medical officer's instructions are the last thing you remember?"

Penelope nodded.

"That's about as good as you can get, with what your body went through," the doctor commented, picking up a digital medical file and flipping through it. "The two medics from your ship reported that you were unresponsive, and proceeded to transport you to sickbay while they restarted your heart. There, they performed emergency surgery on you to remove the tool from your side and stop the internal bleeding from your head wound. There was some complication during the surgery."

"Complication?"

"Your heart rate dropped swiftly, a concerning amount. The CMO was called into to help the medics working on you, but together they managed to save your life. It was, however, a very close thing, Lieutenant.

Once the ship landed, you were transferred here. I took over your care. In addition to your two major injuries, we had to do some work to clear your lungs and decontaminate the minor radiation in your body."

"We...landed? Is the _Enterprise_ okay?" Penelope wondered aloud. How the crew managed that, Penelope had no idea. They had been crashing, and the engineering officer thought there had been little hope for regaining flight capabilities.

And yet, here she was.

"The Enterprise sustained multiple attacks, and it did nearly crash, but your ship managed to land successfully."

"Am I alright now?"

Doctor Venara took a seat next to her bedside. "You have made a remarkable recovery in the past few days. Your head wound was...bad, but you seem to have sustained no serious repercussions from it. Luckily, the injury to your abdomen avoided piercing any _major_ organs."

Penelope processed this, "So, I'm good to go." She tried to lift herself up on her elbows and swing her legs over the bed.

"Now hold on a minute, Waters. You've only barely woken up-" the doctor protested, placing her hands on Penelope's shoulders.

Penelope pushed back. "Listen, Doctor, I appreciate you worrying, but I think I'll be just fine."

"Well I have to disagree, Lieutenant. You're vitals are nowhere near-" Dr. Venara's voice took a disapproving edge, but was once again cut off.

"Vitals? You can't keep me here because my blood pressure is too low," Penelope argued, standing up fully now and supporting herself with the bed frame. She fought back a wave of dizziness.

"No, but your wounds are nowhere near the level of healing they should be for a dis-"

"In fact, you cannot keep me here at all. I am allowed to refuse medical treatment and discharge myself at any time-"

"Be that as it may, Lieutenant, I strongly recommend getting back in your bed."

"With all due respect, Doctor, I think I know my own body well enough to-"

"And with all due respect to you, Lieutenant, you seem to know absolutely nothing at all about your health. I am the one with medical training-"

"And I am the one who can sign documents allowing me to leave this institution. I would like to see those immediately, along with my belongings and clothing." Penelope's accent had become thick with her anger, causing a sting of embarrassment. She ignored it.

The last statement was said firmly enough that it jolted the doctor out of the un-winnable argument. Dr. Venara's face twisted into complete frustration as she admitted defeat.

"Fine, Lieutenant, I will send a nurse to get your things," the Doctor said angrily before walking out of the room. Penelope did not experience any rush of victory as nausea overtook her senses, and she managed to grab a bucket just in time so as not to throw up on the clean white floors of the hospital. Quickly, she placed the bucket under the bed, hoping neither nurse nor doctor would find it. Childish, maybe, but Penelope was done arguing with these people.

Gingerly, Penelope sat back on the edge of the bed. Looking down, she noticed her body was covered by a standard regulation hospital gown, concealing her nasty side wound. Her head ached, but it would be manageable. The dizziness and nausea stopped the moment she sat down, but she was determined to get control enough to stand without support.

The doors slid open, and three people emerged: Dr. Venara, an Orion nurse, and a vaguely familiar face. The trio approached her, and the nurse handed her a plain white box. Penelope thanked him and looked inside, ignoring the doctor and her companion. It was her stuff, including a newly cleaned Starfleet engineering uniform.

"Lieutenant Waters, this is your ship's CMO, Doctor McCoy. Maybe he can convince you to stay.

At least give me another day so we can run more tests," Venara announced, gesturing to the man standing with her.

Before she could greet the doctor, he exclaimed, "Are you outta your goddamn mind, Lieutenant?" This startled her, as she wasn't expecting such a brash 'hello' from the CMO, despite his reputation for extreme grumpiness.

"Not only did you get stabbed by a – whatever the hell screwdriver wrench thing – you got a major fucking brain injury. And now you've been up for," Dr. McCoy checked the chart at the end of her bed, "Half an hour, so you think it's time to what, go home?"

Penelope sat quiet for a moment, contemplating what he said. The doctor raised fair points, as had Venara, but...

"Yes."

Doctor McCoy and Doctor Venara shared a look that Penelope read as: _Is this engineer an idiot?_

"I don't think you understand the stress your body is still under, Waters." McCoy continued on after a moment.

"I do. But I will discharge myself now." Doctor Venara crossed her arms, while her CMO looked like a vein was going to pop on his forehead. And they thought her vitals were bad.

"Dammit, girl, do you know how many people we just lost?"

"I was in engineering, sir," she replied with thinly veiled anger. Girl? She was twenty-five years old, hardly a child by human standards. "I know what was lost."

"And yet you're still willing to leave this hospital, against the advice of both your attending physician and your Chief Medical Officer?" he pressed. "Knowing that your actions will likely lead to detrimental health effects?"

"Correct."

The CMO threw his hands in the air. "Fine, Waters, but don't expect me to clear you for duty until I'm good and ready to." He then quickly stormed out of the room, muttering to himself. Dr. Venara took on a defeated type of body language.

Penelope stared up at the woman.

"May I see the discharge documents now, Doctor?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews!**

 **Disclaimer: Don't own Star Trek. Don't speak good French. Really only know a little, so sorry if the grammar's crap.**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 2 – Out of the Frying Pan and Into the Fire**

Dear Lieutenant P. Waters,

Due to injuries sustained aboard U.S.S Enterprise (NCC-1701) on Stardate 2259.60, and in accordance with Starfleet regulation serial #24.5, you are hereby put on immediate, paid medical suspension from all Starfleet duties as requested by Chief Medical Officer L. McCoy.

Until further notice, you are to refrain from any Starfleet missions on any vessel, grounded or in flight. The severity of your injuries dictates that this suspension will remain until you are cleared fit for duty by either CMO L. McCoy or your attending physician.

If you have any further queries about the limits or duration of your suspension, please contact your local Starfleet database center and request connection line 166-704.

Unity and peace,

Lt. Commander Frank Goodwill

* * *

Penelope let out a long held sigh as she re-read the letter on her personal receiver for the third time. When she got her hand on that idiotic doctor...

She could feel her fists clenching and her teeth gritting. Always getting too angry, but this time it was valid. Penelope knew herself, knew her limits, and the next time she saw that CMO, he could expect to be giving _himself_ an immediate medical suspension. Asshole.

Her abdomen protested as she rose from the bench outside her storage unit in Earth's French Quarter. There was a transporter machine across the road, and people were milling to and from it. There were light-vehicles in the roads overhead, whirring around at a safe distance from ground-cars and pedestrians. A flock of birds flew higher than the flying cars.

The engineering officer let the anger seep from her with every movement of the flock, using a breathing technique she had learned from one of her many required anger and violence management courses. He was a doctor. It was his job to suspend people he believed compromised. She could be wrong. He could be right. Either way, her frustration was misplaced and irrational.

After a while, Penelope noticed a slowly approaching figure in the distance. For a moment, Penelope thought it was Johnny. A wide smile graced her lips, but as the figure got closer, Penelope's mind caught up with reality. That wasn't Johnny because he was dead. Why couldn't her brain just accept that and stop...messing around with her?

"Tommy!" she called, waving a hand lazily. He sped up, rushing to where she leant on the back of the bench. Tommy and her mother had been cousins, making them...second cousins? First cousins once removed? Penelope never could keep track of the difference. Now that both women were dead, Tommy's mother having died in a shuttle accident four years ago, Penelope looked out for the boy as best she could.

The fourteen year old was panting as he asked. "Penelope. Comment allez-vous?" Tommy stopped when he noticed her clutching her stomach. "Qu'est ce qui c'est passé? Est ce que tu vas bien?"

"I'm fine, Tommy. And use Standard, goodness knows you could use some practice with it."

"You are not fine. What have those Starfleet dogs done to you now?" Tommy pressed, anger palpable in his voice. Penelope was never very surprised at Tommy's utter contempt for Starfleet, but she was disappointed that even as he grew into a young adult, he clung on to prejudices his father had taught him.

"Oh _ferme-la_ , Tommy. Let it go."

Tommy started to rant on again, but Penelope silenced him with a gesture. "I don't want to argue with you while I'm here. Besides, I've got something I want to show you." Tommy quieted with some grumbling but followed her over to the storage unit door nonetheless.

"When did you get back?" Tommy asked as they walked into the darkness of the unit.

"A few days ago," Penelope replied, searching blindly for the light switch. The storage unit was old enough that no computerized lighting system had been installed, and Penelope wasn't ever off-base long enough to do it herself.

A few quiet seconds passed before Tommy said in a quiet voice that belied his earlier anger, "I saw your ship on the news. I was worried that maybe something had happened." The last word seemed to catch in his voice, but when the lights flickered on, there was no trace of vulnerability left in his face.

Penelope gave a rare, affectionate smile. She went over and pulled Tommy into a short, but warm hug. When she pulled back, the engineering officer ruffled the boy's blonde hair. "I can't believe how tall you've gotten. You're the same height as me now."

Tommy beamed with pride but tried to hide it under a scowl. Removing his gaze from hers, Tommy finally noticed the machine in the center of the floor.

"What is it?" he questioned, strolling over and surveying it in a circle.

"That is going to be your first ride. But first, we have to make it work," she grunted, rifling through some supplies on her workbench. "Would you care to help me with it, Tommy? Or can I keep all the fun for myself?" she asked playfully, tossing him a pair of protective goggles and gloves.

His answering smile made all those bloody moments aboard the Enterprise disappear, even if only for a moment.

* * *

It was three weeks later when the android solicitor and one Montgomery Scott unknowingly conspired to break the momentary calm in Penelope Water's life.

"Salut? What do you want?" Penelope said, ripping the door to her storage unit open in irritation. Her exclamations were cut short as she took in the sight of her Captain, his damned CMO, and her Chief Engineering Officer. What was going on? Another idea ripped through her: that Johnny had survived somehow, and they came to tell her the good news.

The fantasy dissipated just as fast as it came on, leaving Penelope frowning.

Scotty beamed down at her and said, "Sorry, lass. I dinnae catch a word of what you just said." She blinked once, staring at the sight in front of her long and hard. "Do you live here?" he asked, motioning to the mattress in the far corner when she said nothing in response. "It's quite cozy, but you know there are Starfleet-issued quarters just down the way."

Her startled gaze fixed onto McCoy, slowly changing into one of uncontrolled fury. "You!" Penelope hissed. Scotty looked between them curiously, a bit offended at being ignored.

"What?" the Doctor asked grumpily.

"Don't say _what_ like you don't know! You suspended me!" Penelope accused, holding out her finger. She wanted so badly to jam it into his chest, but she had to remember her breathing techniques. In and out. Do not touch the doctor. Do not attack him. There was an android in her house, likely recording the entire incident. Don't disable that abominable thing either. It would be pretty easy, though. Just use her wrench to damage the core systems in the head, then reroute the wiring functions kept on the chest.

The captain looked at the doctor in confusion. "Wait, what? You suspended her? What for, Bones?" She could program the android to beat up Dr. McCoy. Probably not advisable, though, if she didn't want to be sent to a rehabilitation center or worse.

McCoy looked affronted. "She discharged herself from a Starfleet hospital AMA, against common sense, logic-" The captain seemed to find his phrasing amusing and interrupted him.

"Since when have you put so much faith in logic?"

Scotty chimed in at that point, adding, "I dinnae care what she did; I need her aboard the Enterprise!" Make the android sing the newest music hits in the universe. It would be funny to hear the monotone voice attempt Klingon tunes.

"Yeah, well, I didn't realize the 'experienced engineering officer' you mentioned was the same idiot who left hospital with a brain injury minutes after waking up." If the former D Section Head hadn't been so angry, she might have caught the compliment from Scotty. Instead, Penelope saw red. An idiot?

"Idiot? Call me an idiot again! Fais le!" Penelope exclaimed, taking a step towards the doctor. Scotty moved forward to hold her back at the same time the android appeared behind her in the doorway.

"Citizen," it's robotic voice called, "You are registering signs of distress. Do you require assistance?"

Penelope ignored the tall android lurking behind her and decided to get to the heart of the matter. Maybe they would all just leave. "Mr. Scott, why are you here? And why did you bring them?"

"I need you back in Engineering," he answered cheerfully. "Thought bringing along the brass might help convince you. Though I don't know why McCoy is here."

"Wait, since when am I the brass-"

"I'm here because Jim thought after actually dying, he thought he'd take a trip across-"

Penelope interrupted what she was sure was the definition of annoyance. "Sir, are you drunk?"

"Almost always, Wrenchy. Why'd ya ask?" Scotty wondered. _Do not punch him in the face for calling you Wrenchy._

"I saw the _Enterprise_ before I was escorted out by a security team for lack of clearance," she said disparagingly, tossing a hard look at the doctor before continuing, "The thing is in pieces, sir. I don't know what good I'd be there, even if I came."

"The girl's just a bit broken up righ' now. Nothing that my Assistant Chief can't fix."

Penelope wondered why no one had told him. "Lieutenant DeSalle was killed in the attack, sir." Had Scotty been injured as well? Maybe he had a brain injury. She hadn't seen it in the official reports, but not everything was put into those records.

"I know. You're my new Assistant Chief." Penelope could feel her face starting to twitch. She glanced over to the captain and the doctor, who had now chosen to watch the exchange silently.

"Sir, I mean no disrespect, but I've already requested an assignment transfer to the _U.S.S. Fortitude_."

Scotty's expression changed in the blink of an eye from happy to disgusted. "I know that you're trying ta cheat on our dear Enterprise and me, Wrenchy, but I'm here to make an honest woman out of ya." _God, when had it gotten so hard not to want to kick Scotty in the balls?_

"Citizen, your heart rate and blood pressure are reaching unhealthy levels. Do you require assistance?"

"I understand, 220B. Just give us a minute," she ordered the android, never looking away from the three men. "Mr. Scott, even if I wanted the position, I cannot perform any jobs or missions from Starfleet until my medical suspension is lifted." Her eyes shifted over pointedly to the CMO.

With that hint, Scotty smiled again and nodded to McCoy. "You heard the lady, McCoy. Clear her for duty so that we can get started on fixing up what ol' Jim and Spock did to my poor ship."

"Your ship, Scotty?" the captain asked, crossing his arms.

"You bet your ass it's my ship. What with the way you're always abusing her!"

The captain snorted. "Don't give me that shit, man. I take good care of her." Scotty opened his mouth to presumably claim his new bid for captaincy of the starship when McCoy let out:

"Oh for the love of all that's holy, there! Penelope Adeline Waters: cleared for any and all active duty in Starfleet." He swiped a finger across a small tablet taken from his back pocket. A ding beeped on her receiver, no doubt informing her of the change.

She smiled grimly at the trio. "Thank you, sir." Then, after a pause, she continued, "Mr. Scott, I must regretfully decline your offer-"

"Oh, well that's just not fair!" Scotty protested.

Penelope took a breath to calm down. "Sir, on our last mission, you abandoned the Enterprise before it even left base." Scotty's face drained of all color. "I read the public report, so I know why you did it, and to be honest, I don't care what moral obligations you seem to have with yourself. I wouldn't have cared if the Captain had decided to use those torpedoes to blow up the Earth's moon, you should have been on our ship." She kept her voice level through her mini-speech. "I don't feel comfortable serving as the Assistant if I don't know you'll be there."

"Now hold on a second, Waters, you don't know what you're talking about. Scotty saved our asses by resigning his post that day. He made the right choice," the captain defended, crossing his arms. _Right choice?_ she thought. _Since when had any of them had a choice?_

Penelope glared right up at him, green eyes baring into blue. "Respectfully, sir, this isn't any of your business." Captain Kirk seemed to find this statement ridiculous and gave a discreet glance to the android behind her.

"What's that here for anyway?" the captain questioned, nodding up to the solicitor. Penelope shifted her weight and crossed her arms to match the captain's.

"I feel it would be redundant to repeat what I just said," Penelope answered, regretting immediately her lack of control. The android, though, took the momentary silence as a cue to continue on where it had left off before the knocking from Scotty at the door.

"Citizen, do you require further instruction on the documents needed to resume your service in Starfleet as engineering officer?" the monotone voice called from its metal mouth.

Sighing, Penelope replied, "No."

"Wait, did you call a lawyer here to lift your medical suspension? You know, all you had to do was show up for a damn exam!" McCoy accused.

"This is not about that," she tried to explain as the android finished up.

"Satisfactory. I am now legally obligated to inform you that if you do not return the documents containing the required signatures within seventy-two hours, you will be forcibly removed from Starfleet and placed in penal colony Frello V to serve your five year sentence of case number 10038. I will repeat: if you do not return the documents containing the required signatures within seventy-two hours, you will be forcibly removed from Starfleet and placed in penal colony Frello V to serve your five year sentence of case number 10038.

Thank you, citizen. Good day." The android walked in smooth motions through the four officers and down the road onto his ground-car.

"Jesus, what the hell, Wrenchy? You in some kind of trouble?" Scotty asked finally as the solicitor drove off.

"It's old news, Mr. Scott," Penelope said absently, observing the newly downloaded legal papers from her receiver.

"Seems pretty serious, lass, if you're to be sent to Frello V. How on Earth did you get stuck with that?"

* * *

 _The moment the man's nose crunched beneath her fist, Penelope knew she wouldn't be able to stop herself. Again and again, she punched and kicked the man. She didn't know his name. She didn't know what he did for work, or where he came from really. But he deserved this. He had to, someone had to do this. If not her, then who?_

 _His blood was getting on her shoes, and her knuckles began to bruise painfully. The girl was off to the side, crying, begging her to stop. But how could she? It was this, or wreck his pretty, new light-vehicle. She'd pick this man's face before she laid a finger on that beauty._

* * *

"It was nothing, Mr. Scott. A misunderstanding from a long time ago," she evaded, going through her possible options. As per court order, Penelope was annually required to get a signature from either her captain or first officer in order to renew her ability to serve aboard their vessel. The documents informed them that they would have a crewmember that was charged with a violent crime and serving the sentence of said crime in service of their ship. It went through the steps to take if she violated any terms of her contract with Starfleet and the Federation Courts. Very few ship captains or first officers wanted to take on the risk and hassle of having her aboard, but before now, First Officer Spock had always taken care of signing off for Enterprise.

While the _Fortitude_ had offered her a position as their A Section Head of Engineering, Penelope was almost sure they did not know about this. There was no guarantee that the Chief Engineer on that vessel would continue to extend the position, or for their captain or first officer to sign off. That had been a gamble, but one she was willing to take, seeing no place for her left on the _Enterprise_.

But now, maybe she could-

"Penelope!" a voice yelled from across the road. She looked up to see Tommy running over to the group. Oh, great, just what she needed. As Tommy came closer, Penelope could clearly observe his surprise and anger at the sight of the three men in Starfleet uniforms.

"Laissez. Va te faire foutre," Tommy hissed at them when he arrived. Even if they couldn't understand him, it was obvious that Tommy had insulted them. She could feel a sting of embarrassment at his behavior to her superiors. (Yes, she had threatened the doctor, but it was at least for good reason. Sort of.)

Penelope gave him a droll look. "Tommy, how many times have I told you it's rude to speak another language to those that do not know it?" the engineer asked coolly. Tommy glared at her, but her gaze did not waver.

"Pourqoui tu-" an angry voice intoned.

"Leave if you must continue to be rude," Penelope stated. Tommy took one good look around and locked eyes with the captain. His frown deepened as he sized up the man before his brown eyes turned back to Penelope's. He bit out a Standard _'fine'_ before sauntering away back to the transporter unit. "I apologize," Penelope said to the other officers. She offered no explanation beyond that, annoyed that she'd have to hunt the kid down if she wanted to see him any time soon.

"Would you like to come in for a moment?" Penelope opened the door wide to allow them entry. Scotty patted her on the shoulder as he entered, while the captain offered her a tight smile and the doctor a grimace.

She could almost feel Scotty's curiosity as he approached the in-progress bike. "Is this what I think it is?" Scotty questioned, approaching the lump of machinery. "A turn of the century Harley model-"

"Yes," Penelope cut off, not liking the heart shaped eyes Scotty was making at _her_ project. She noticed that the captain seemed to have a form of fascination for the bike as well. Knowing that the heap of rusted metal looked pretty pathetic to a layman, Penelope was intrigued by his interest. "Do you know about motorbikes, sir?"

The captain nodded, "I used to have one before I joined the Academy. Gave it away the day I enlisted." Scotty stopped in his examination.

"You did what?" Scotty called in surprise. The captain smiled widely and proceeded to tease Scotty with tales of how many times he crashed his old motorcycle. McCoy interrupted every once in a while either to laugh or tell the captain how stupid he was. Maybe he called everyone an idiot, Penelope contemplated. Was she wrong to get so angry earlier?

Penelope sat down in the worn chair at her work bench, content to let the Starfleet officers now argue themselves in circles about where on a scale of one to ten James T. Kirk fell in stupidity ratings. Based on the evidence brought forward, Penelope was personally leaning towards a 7.5.

Her mind drifted from them as she thought over what to do. She was almost sure the Chief Engineer aboard _Fortitude_ wanted her, enough to maybe convince his command that they should sign the court's papers. And yet, _Enterprise_ was still the most advanced vessel in the fleet. It would be an honor to get to work on building her up again, but the memories attached to that ship had been violent since she was first assigned there. From her maiden voyage to now, Penelope had witnessed some of the best and worst of the universe. And now Johnny was gone. Could she really go back after all that she had lost?

And on that matter, who's to say Scotty wouldn't resign again? She had said that earlier mostly to get rid of the men, but honestly, it had been a great shock to her when a baby-faced Ensign from the Bridge became the Chief Engineer. No doubt Chekov had done his best, but surely they were other engineers, like DeSalle or Yomai, who could've filled the role?

"How long would it take to fix _Enterprise_?" Penelope asked suddenly, cutting off Scotty's rant on the cruelty of the captain. Scotty turned his attention towards her, looking at her hopefully. The engineer wondered if he'd started the argument with the other two officer just to give her time. The thought made her almost smile.

"I'd say about eleven months, give or take a week or two. She'd be grounded until we start test-runs," Scotty informed her. Well, that was...actually ideal. A whole year of grounded service meant she could have a break from the stresses of space travel, and the entire time, she'd basically be getting to remake Starfleet's newest Constitution-class starship. The engineering officer could also take some time to convince Tommy that yes, secondary school and university were going to happen for him.

Most importantly, she'd be able to see after Johnny's family. His wife, Marie, had been out of work for five years. While Johnny had been travelling aboard the _Enterprise_ for weeks at a time, Marie had been taking care of their daughter, Laura, and their son, Zach. They were both under five years old, and neither would likely ever remember their father.

Having children so young wasn't as common these days, and the fact of the matter was that Marie was going to have a hard time finding good work. The credit plan given to families of a Starfleet member who died on active duty would help, along with funding their children's education. But the paperwork involved with funeral expenses, extending benefits, and other miscellaneous necessities was something that Penelope dealt with for her.

The assignment on _Fortitude_ would take her out of Earth's orbit by next month.

Penelope sighed, making her decision. She also made a mental note to update her will to include Marie and the kids. Until now, Tommy had been slated to receive what little she had to give. "If you're still offering, Mr. Scott, I'd be willing to accept-"

Scotty approached her in an instant, shaking her hand with glee. "Of course, Wrenchy! You can report at 0700 tomorrow morning at the Academy construction yard. Oh, this is gunna be fantastic. Rebuilding the _Enterprise_!" Scotty finally dropped her hand, still beaming with the thought of getting back to work on the ship.

Penelope removed her gaze from Scotty, locking eyes with the captain. "Excuse me, Captain?" she began, getting up from her seat and pulling out her receiver.

"What's up, Waters?" he replied. He had an easy vibe about him, Penelope noticed then. Kind of a relaxed, amusing autopilot. When she recalled the high-strung, grumpy attitude of the CMO, Penelope wondered how the two had become close.

"I need you to sign this," she said, handing him her receiver with the information already pulled up. "Until today, your first officer signed on behalf of the _Enterprise_ , but I figure this is more convenient," the engineer explained at his questioning expression.

"What is it?"

"It allows me to serve on your ship, sir." The captain took a moment to quickly scan the court order. Not too quickly, though, to note what exactly he would be signing.

"You...it says here your were charged with aggravated assault and attempted murder." She felt the eyes of the doctor and Scotty linger on her.

"...Yes." Penelope's response hid her internal wince. The familiar sting of humiliation began to pump through her veins, starting in her chest and flowing all around. It was an incident from when she was seventeen, young and dumb and angry at the world. No excuse.

"And Spock always cleared you?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes. I first approached the then Captain Pike with the issue, and he told me that I should report to his first officer. I have ever since." The mention of Pike softened the captain's demeanor. Had they known one another? Upon hearing word of his death last month, Penelope had felt a distant sort of sorrow, but nothing more than that. He'd been her captain for less than an accumulated twenty-four hours, and had only spoken to him once. It appeared that Captain Kirk had known him far more intimately, going by his reaction.

It was a tense couple of minutes as they all waited for the captain's decision. His eyes ran over her receiver again and again, flipping through the pages.

"Alright then." Relief flooded her system despite the lingering shame. The captain signed the thing in a quick series of movements, handed her back the receiver, and Penelope then signed it herself. Pressing a button at the bottom of the screen sent the information over to the solicitor's inbox.

"Thank you, Captain."

Scotty cheered. "Wrenchy, you won't regret this!" Penelope gave him a blank expression.

"I'm sure I will, sir. And stop calling me that."

The twinkle in Scotty's eyes revealed that he would do no such thing. In her two years of working with the Chief, Penelope had noticed that getting under people's skin was something the man actively pursued. Second only to taking care of the ship.

"No can do," he teasingly said, hands dipping into his pockets. His body changed slightly, his expression turning inward as his mind switched gears. Penelope tensed, sensing some unforeseen or unmentioned change to her job. What had he forgotten to say?

If he wanted her to watch Keenser for him, he could kiss that idea goodbye.

"Wrenchy?"

"Yes?" she answered, hoping the men would leave soon. They'd already been here near on forty minutes. The sun had begun to set in the sky, and Penelope was ready to lie down. Her abdomen had started to ache, a pain she'd experienced time and time again in the past weeks.

What came out of his mouth next sent shockwaves down her system, simply because they were unexpected.

"I was sorry to here about Johnny. He was a good engineer, a good lad. He deserved better." Penelope's brain stopped functioning, for the man in question had been haunting her awake and in dreams, though she tried her hardest to stop him. _Don't think about him. Don't._ But how could she not? What with organizing paperwork, cooking meals for Marie and the kids, and spending nearly every other day at his house, it had become almost unbearable.

The sentiment in Scotty's words hit home, because they weren't spoken lightly. Penelope really thought he meant them. Her right hand clenched on her left forearm, and she closed her eyes in order to stop the trembling in her lips.

"I know."

Sensing her discomfort, Scotty pursed his lips and clapped his hands once, rubbing them together. "Well, best be off then," Scotty said, changing the subject. "I've got plans to draw up. Have a most wonderful day, Wrenchy." The other two officers bid her a polite farewell, and just before they were all out the door, the captain spun around.

"Oh, shit, I almost forgot. Waters, you've been promoted to Lieutenant. Oh, and you missed the ceremony. Congratulations." A thin black box was tossed her way. She caught it in the nick of time and turned it over. Her questioning look upwards was met by a welcoming smile. Penelope flipped it open and took in two pins, one that represented her promotion to Lieutenant and the other that signified a Starfleet citation for Conspicuous Gallantry.

Penelope held the box lightly, staring intensely at the second piece with a look of confusion. What had she done to deserve this? Before she had a chance to ask, the trio had left and shut the door. She could still her their voices echoing out in the open air.

"Good, now that we're finished, you're going to go lay down."

"I'm fine, Bones."

"Fine my ass. Just died and now you think you're ready to..."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for the views and reviews! The bit at the end is from DuBellay's _The Regrets_. **

**U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 3 – Easier Said Than Done**

 _The man's eyes were a glassy black, looking out into nothingness. His red Starfleet uniform had been torn at, and in the spaces between fabric, Penelope could see the way his chest caved in unnaturally. Crimson blood covered his olive-skinned face, but way too pale to be healthy. A sinking feeling spread in her stomach._

 _Legs weren't supposed to bend that way, were they?_

 _Penelope was standing to the left of the broken body. She knelt down to get a closer look, to identify this poor crewmen. The smell of burning flesh invaded her nostrils even though the corpse looked free from flame. Penelope lifted a hand to her nose, and ever so gently turned the head towards her. No, no, no, no, no..._

 _"Johnny!"_

* * *

"Wrenchy!" Scotty called from down below, rousing her from her impromptu nap. She woke with a gasp. A light sheen of sweat covered her entire body, and Penelope wiped a hand, hitting her covered forehead, as she became reacquainted with her surroundings. "Time for lunch break!" he announced loudly.

Embarrassed at herself for falling asleep on the job, Penelope tried to will away the blush gracing her cheeks as she bounced down the wall of the main dilithium chamber. Hopefully, Scotty hadn't noticed her dozing. She doubt if he'd care beyond the questionable safety of such a position, but her pride as a respectful and hard-worker was under possible beating.

When her toes finally touched the sleek new flooring, Penelope unhooked the harness from her waist and stepped out of the hanging apparatus. One look at a calm Scotty through her protective mask confirmed that he hadn't seen her slip up. Even though she'd gotten away clean, the Assistant Chief vowed to get more sleep the next night, no matter how hard it would be.

The problem was the nightmares which plagued her every time her mind whirred down. It had been happening ever since she took the job back on the _U.S.S. Enterprise_.

Scotty clapped a palm on her shoulder. "You alright?" Penelope nodded silently, good enough for Scotty. Or maybe he was intuitive enough to know she wouldn't talk about it. As she removed her gloves and face-cover, Scotty called out again. "Keenser, get down from there!" he yelled abruptly, switching from one thing to another smoothly.

Keenser's unhappy face greeted her as he too slid from one of the chambers, though much lower down from the one she'd been scaling. "Come on then, you lot," Scotty ordered, leading the way from the engineering deck back out into the California sun.

As the three walked along a dirt path from the construction yard to the main Academy campus, Penelope glanced back to observe the last two months of work. The ship looked like a cookie that had a giant bite taken out of it, with one half at a ninety degree angle, and the other flat upon the ground. Various construction workers lined the outer hull, installing new plating and remaking structural support. Other Starfleet engineers with their shockingly red uniforms hurried to and from the inside of the vessel, bringing supplies and blueprints with them, while outside a few cadets hung around the construction, likely skipping class.

She and Scotty had met with all the new section heads of Engineering early on in the reconstruction, and together they'd come up with an estimated time of completion at about 9 months from then. With so many of the casualties from the _Enterprise_ 's last mission coming from Engineering, it only seemed fit that the crew would start rebuilding that deck of the ship first.

"Well come along, Wrenchy. We haven't got all day!" Scotty said from a distance, pulling her from her inner thoughts. She jogged to catch up with the pair, and together they all made their way to one of the Academy's cafeterias.

As Penelope took in the duller hue on standard cadet outfits and tried to find appropriate seating, Scotty and Keenser went off to fetch the food. Scoping out the area, the engineer spotted an empty place at a the far corner table filled with boisterous cadets. Midday meant she needed to grab those seats fast before someone else did.

Hurrying along, Penelope reached the area, placing her toolbelt in the chair across from her and throwing an arm over the one beside her. She casually pulled out her PADD from her front pocket and checked the news. There was nothing that caught her interest, even in the technology section of the LA Times, so she put the PADD away and sat in silence.

About ten minutes on, Scotty and Keenser finally returned. The alien engineer placed a wrapped sandwich and soda can in front of her, taking the seat with her arm thrown around the back. Scotty plopped down dramatically in the spot across from them both and let out a loud "Achh!" He jumped right back up, glaring at her toolbelt. "Ya did that on purpose," he accused, putting his food down on the table and tossing her the belt roughly.

Penelope ducked, knowing she wouldn't be able to catch the thing without a tool whipping her in the face. Thankfully, they were the last table in the row, so the toolbelt simply slid into the wall and not into some cadet's head. Their activities had drawn some eyes to them, and more lingered on her when she went to go retrieve her item. When she stood up, Penelope shot the nearby students a fierce glare, making them all turn away to whisper.

She sat back down, opened her soda, and threw her arm back behind Keenser. "Sorry, lass," Scotty apologized, though his expression revealed he felt anything but. Penelope gave him the same glare she'd thrown to the cadets, but unlike them, Scotty only chuckled. Angry at his lack of fear, the officer tore open her sandwich and bit into it violently.

Keenser made a trilling sound that she could now recognize as quiet laughter, though this served more to calm her than incite her. Well, until she finally recognized what she'd just eaten.

"Ugh," she commented rudely, tasting the sandwich, "they put mustard on it." The irritation rising in her did nothing to help her now foul mood. Couldn't anyone pay attention to what they were doing?

"Really?" Scotty asked, peering curiously over at her lunch. Then he snatched her sandwich from her right hand. She tried to protest, but it fell short when he handed her his own. Penelope glanced down at the thing blankly.

Scotty munched on her old sandwich, unperturbed by the offensive condiment and her saliva. "There. Now it's mustard free." Not the point, since it was an entirely different piece of food, but still, the gesture appeased her anger. It also made her feel foolish for her exclamation. After all, who gets that upset over a stupid sandwich?

"Thanks," she mumbled. The younger officer took a bite out of Scotty's lunch, and let him rant about various engineering problems for the rest of their break without complaint.

"And ya know what really gets me? These ancient 'engineering experts' who try to come in and tell me how to do ma job!" Scotty complained, taking a swig of his juice. "Last time I checked," he continued, "I was Chief Engineer of the _Enterprise_. Not them." Keenser blinked silently but pointedly in response, and though Penelope still had trouble understanding the alien's silent and subtle communications, Scotty seemed to find support from him. "Exactly!"

Penelope polished off her lunch, wondering absently if Keenser could actually speak Standard. It was obvious he could understand it, but it was unclear to her whether or not he had the capability to form Terran words.

"Sulu!" Scotty exclaimed, waving his hands to someone Penelope didn't see. An Asian man in the gray uniform of an Academy graduate walked over to the group, greeting Scotty in a familiar manner. "Keenser, Wrenchy, either of you know Sulu here? He's the main navigator on our darling _Enterprise_." Remembering Sulu from her two years aboard the ship, Penelope realized she'd never spoken to the man.

Neither Keenser nor Penelope made a move to shake Sulu's hand, but Penelope did intone a quiet, "Hello." Sulu smiled in response, and then he was made the new victim of Scotty's complaints. In an attempt to escape the re-hashed speech, Penelope gathered the trash of her companions and herself and made her way to the recycling unit. The engineer chucked all the bits in there, appreciating the inner-workings of such a smart bit of tech.

Making her way back to the table, she internally giggled at the sight of Sulu attempting to walk away from Scotty. She stood to the side of the navigator for a minute, but then she decided to take pity on the man. "Scotty," she said, interrupting him mid-sentence

"What?" he asked. Penelope gestured to Scotty's watch. It was a curious thing, attached to his wrist. She'd always assumed it was a family heirloom or something of that sort, but despite its probable age, the apparatus appeared to be in good condition. "Oh, shit. Sorry, Sulu, it seems we're running a bit late. Gotta get back."

Sulu tried to hide his relief, but Penelope could see how his shoulders relaxed. "Oh no problem. You all go on." Scotty got up, and then Keenser followed suit. Scotty bid Sulu a goodbye, clapping the younger man on the arm. Just as they began to leave, Sulu rushed up.

"I almost forgot to ask. When do you think _Enterprise_ will be ready for flight?" There was optimism in Sulu's eyes that tugged at Penelope's heart. She knew as well as anyone how much a quick recovery of their ship would've distracted the old crew from the aftermath of the attack, but their work on the starship remained nowhere near done.

Scotty made a sympathetic grunt. "I thought the captain would've told you all. The Enterprise still has a ways to go." And he should have, in Penelope's opinion. Just last week, there had been a meeting between the captain and Scotty over that exact topic. For goodness sake's, Captain Kirk had basically asked for daily updates. Not to mention the handful of times he showed up to physically help with the reconstruction. The least he could do was pass over the information to the remaining crew.

"Well, just give me an ETC," Sulu requested plainly.

The Chief Engineer replied, "Probably another nine, maybe eight months at best." The navigator physically deflated at that. Penelope wondered if that was what the loss of hope looked like: wide expression turning pinched, shoulders slumping, arms crossing.

"Right."

Scotty reached a hand out, attaching it to the other officer's shoulder. "It'll be alright, Sulu. The _Enterprise_ 'll be back. It's just going to take a little while." Sulu nodded, covering his disappointment with a neutral expression.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Anyways, see you." Sulu nodded at each of them before turning away to grab lunch. Scotty sighed, shaking his head. There was nothing said on the way back to the construction yard between the three engineers, each lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

"Marie," Penelope called out, stepping through the wooden door of the suburban abode. She bustled through, walking into the kitchen and placing some grocery bags on the table. "Hello? Marie?" Penelope said again when no answer came. The house was oddly silent, considering the usual chaos that greeted her when she came over.

The job Penelope secured for Marie came from an old friend of her mother's who had been looking for someone to man the front desk at a motel. It meant that Marie worked evening shifts five times out of the week, so Penelope shared babysitting Laura and Zach with their grandparents until their mother came home. Luckily, Scotty let her have strange hours working aboard the project. He was always good about stuff like that, and it made Penelope grateful to have Scotty as her superior.

A flash of a small figure in the side of her vision caused Penelope to whip around. Thus did the engineering officer come face to face with a mud-covered four year old. Laura grinned up at her, little brown footprints trailing behind her.

"Auntie Lelope!" the toddler cheered, rushing forward to hug Penelope. Please be mud, she thought as the girl attached herself to Penelope's trouser-clad leg.

"Hello, ma petite étoile. Where's your mama and Zach? And how'd you get so dirty?" the officer asked, kneeling down to pick the girl up, keeping her at an arm's length to prevent more mud exposure.

Laura giggled, wriggling in her hold. "Zachie's in the livin' room." Penelope nodded, walked a few steps into the next room to check on the two year old. And of course he was covered in dirt as well. "Great," Penelope muttered to herself. She swung Laura around to one hip, not caring much about the mess, and then leaned down to grab Zach. Taking them both to the upstairs bath proved difficult when she found that the door was locked.

"Marie? Are you in there?" Penelope asked. Laura poked Penelope on the arm, drawing her attention away. The girl made a face at her, causing Penelope to roll her eyes in exasperation. "Marie?" the officer repeated, hearing the rush of water from within. A bad feeling settled in the pit of her stomach, and an old memory surfaced from deep within.

Quickly, Penelope went into the kids' room, placing them both on the warm colored flooring. "Don't move okay," the engineer said sternly, "and Laura, watch your brother." Laura nodded dutifully, doing her best to look serious. On a four year old, the expression was beyond adorable. Penelope offered her a big smile in return, ruffling her messy hair.

Penelope shut the door to the room, then ran over to the bathroom. She knocked insistently and loudly. "Marie, open the door. Right now," she warned, her tone much sharper than with the toddlers.

"I'm fine," Marie called out finally, but her voice sounded unsteady.

"Can you please just unlock the door?" Penelope asked. "Please?" _Please, or else the panic in her heart is going to make her chest explode._ A rustling from within preceded the small sound of the compression lock releasing, and Penelope stepped carefully inside.

Marie perched herself on the edge of the tub, her work uniform thrown haphazardly on. Penelope approached the woman, then knelt in front of her much like she had down for the woman's daughter. The engineer placed her hands on Marie's, easing them from the deadlock grip on her skirt. "Marie?"

Dirty blonde hair covered Marie's expression, but it didn't take a genius to realize she'd been sobbing. Seeing that Marie hadn't hurt herself alleviated the worst of Penelope's fears, but that old pain lingered on in Penelope's heart anyways.

When no response came, Penelope let out a breath. She lifted herself up and grabbed a washcloth from the cupboard, running the fabric under some warm water. Wringing out any excess liquid, Penelope went forward a few steps and held out the cloth for Marie to grab.

After a few seconds, Marie took the offering and wiped her face. "Thanks," she said softly. Penelope leaned back against the bathroom counter and waited.

"I'm sorry, Penelope. It's just...I just feel like hell," Marie admitted, lifting her head to face her children's godmother.

"Why isn't he here?" her tone became desperate, and Penelope tried to will away her own tears at Marie's sudden outburst. There was no answer to her question that would make either of them feel any better. "Even if he wasn't here, I'd be happy," Marie admitted, the wet cloth lying in her lap and her arms tugged closely around herself. "I'd just want to know...that he's out there somewhere...breathing, living...

Sometimes I wish I was dead, and then I feel so guilty because I think of them. My little Zach and Laura, and I think I must be such a horrible Mom to want to leave them. I should be fighting harder than this for them, because now they only have me." Marie's tears were falling liberally now, and Penelope wanted to curl in a ball in a corner somewhere else. But she didn't because she couldn't, because, with the exclusion of Tommy, this was the only family she had left, and she owed it to Johnny to do something right for once.

After Marie had heard of Johnny's death, the stay-at-home mother had bundled herself into bed and not left it for almost a week. It had taken nearly every technique Penelope had in her arsenal to get Marie back on her feet and seeing a grief counselor. How often she went and what she talked about were her own business, but Penelope made sure Marie had time to go, and that she stuck to a timeline. And she always, always made sure that no doctor gave Marie drugs that would mess with her head.

Things even seemed to be getting better lately as a new schedule settled in. But this, this was a breakdown Penelope should've been better prepared for. The numbness for Marie was starting to wear off, and now...

"You aren't alone, Marie," Penelope stated. "Don't ever think that. I'm here, and your mother and father are here. We're here whenever you need."

Marie placed her knuckles on her lips, wedding band gleaming in the light, curling her hands and turning her hazel eyes up to Penelope. "Just tell me what I should do. I just want someone to tell me how to stop missing him."

"You never stop missing him," Penelope told her, taking a seat on the tub. "And that's okay."

"How? How can this ever be okay?" Marie gestured with her hands. Penelope put an arm around her shoulders.

"I can't explain it, and it'll never be like it was before. But you survive," Penelope said, "and then you start to live. Right now we just need to work on surviving." The engineer picked the washcloth back up and placed it in Marie's hand. "So clean your face, and go to work if you can. And hug your babies, but only after they've had a bath."

Marie shook her head, a smile dancing at her mouth despite her grief. "What've they done now?"

Penelope gave a small laugh, "Maybe you should come see." She made a move to get up and grab the muddy kids, but Marie shot out and grabbed her wrist. The look in her eyes made Penelope want to look away.

"Thank you." Penelope started to argue that it was nothing, but Marie delicately tugged on her wrist. "I'm serious. It gives me some small comfort to know Johnny had you as a friend, and that you were there for him, when he was so, so far away...from his home." Penelope nodded and the weight on her wrist lifted.

* * *

 _"Johnny!" she gasped in disbelief. "Johnny, Johnny, wake up. Wake up, wake up. Please, God, let him wake up." The pleas that came from her mouth were as natural as breathing. She couldn't help them. They spewed from her mouth but fell on into the air and were not answered. "Don't do this to me, Johnny. Not you. Everyone else, okay, but this wasn't supposed to happen to you. So wake up, dammit!"_

 _Some sort of noise tore from her throat at that, coming from someplace deep inside where people kept all the sadness from their life. A mixture between a yell and a sob that ended up sounding more like a beg._

 _There was no response, no final words or tears. Dead in an instant, and that was all._

* * *

Penelope tiredly made her way to the transporter nearby. The moonlight cast shadows all around her, and the late hour dragged at Penelope's body. There was no line this late, in this part of Texas. Punching in the code for the transporter across from her storage unit, the engineer stepped into the machine and relaxed as her molecules traveled across continents.

Seconds later, Penelope was yawning her way onto French streets. Flying light-cars sped by in the early morning, and a few people hung around, heading to schools and stores. Penelope ignored the others, letting herself into the compartment.

She flicked on the light with familiarity, even in the dark. As the overlights hummed on, Penelope noticed a small form sprawled out on her mattress. Tommy. He stirred slightly at the change in environment, but settled soon after. Penelope grabbed a portable light from her workbench and turned the lights back off, going into the darkness.

Using the more subtle guide now, Penelope found her way to the bed and sat down at the end. Her back hit the cold wall of the unit, and Penelope let her legs stretch out onto the cold floor. Before her eyes could slip shut, the officer set her alarm for 1200.

And with the depressing thought of having to wake up the next day, Penelope let her brain slow down and rest.

* * *

 _"Waters?" a male voice called from behind her. She paid it no heed, because Johnny was dead, and how could this happen? How could she have let this happen? This was Johnny, but he was lying there with his eyes opened wide like he was seeing everything and nothing and it hurt like it always did. Why? Why? Why? Why did it have to hurt so much?_

 _Did it hurt like this for him? Was he in pain, even for a moment?_

 _A hand gripped her arm, pulling her back from Johnny. She tried to break free, but the grip was strong and she felt so weak now. "Waters, come on."_

 _"I can't. I can't leave him," Penelope protested._

 _"He's dead, Waters. We've got to go."_

 _"No, no, no. I can't leave him." The hands holding her spun her around roughly. She was greeted with Ensign George's frantic face._

 _"Waters, the engines, the power, it's all failing. We need to fix it, so that no more people have to die. Do you understand?" George spoke rapidly. "You do no one good by crying here. You'll just get yourself killed."_

 _Penelope shook her head, her arms reaching back to Johnny. "But I can't -"_

 _"Penelope, Johnny is dead. You are D Section Head. You can mourn later, but right now, we need to go."_

 _Later. Okay._

 _"Okay," she said, willing the tears to stop. "Okay, we can go." She was going to leave him there on the floor, like a crumpled napkin. Like he was trash, but he wasn't. He was a person. He wasn't a body. He was still somebody._

 _He was her friend. And without him, she was nobody._

* * *

She woke up, gasping for air with Tommy's face in her line of vision. His eyes were hooded in the dark of early morning.

"Penelope?" he asked, and Penelope could hear the fear in his voice. She swallowed, trying to find herself.

"I'm fine," she assured him in French, knowing it would be more of a comfort. Reaching down in the dark, she felt her hands curl around the portable light. When it shone in the darkness of the unit, Penelope noticed a purple and blue bruise forming on Tommy's cheek. An exhausted anger curled in her throat and made her close her eyes and exhale shakily.

Tommy moved forward, taking a spot next to her so that their legs touched. "What did you dream about?" Never Standard with this kid, but just this once, she'd let it go.

"My world was burning, and I tried to stop it," Penelope told him simply, letting her head drop back against the cool wall.

There was a pregnant pause. "Did it work?"

"No."

Neither of them spoke for a long while. The sun had started to rise, and Penelope thought that Tommy had fallen asleep. He suddenly spoke up. "Tristes desirs, vivez donques contents: Car si la temps finist chose si dure, Il finira la peine que j'endure."

Penelope thought that over: _Then, sad desires, live content. For if time puts an end to things so firm, it will put an end to the suffering I endure._

"Where'd you learn that?" she asked after many minutes.

"School," he replied. Penelope smiled. He was such a smart boy. Why he wasted his time cutting class and getting in trouble, Penelope would never understand. At least in her case, she was never very clever.

Her hand ran through his hair once. "Oh, so you go there again, yes?" He wriggled away, grinning in the dark.

"I have to. You're the one making me."

"Am I really making you?" she questioned playfully.

Even in the night, Penelope knew his face mirrored his indignation. "You said I had to go, or I don't get the bike."

"Still have a choice," she argued, poking his arm. He stuck his tongue out and flung himself back on the mattress. "Tommy?" the engineer asked softly.

He turned back to look at her. "What?"

"Tell me what happened to your face."

His silence spoke volumes. "Was it your father again?" More silence. "I have to get ready for work now, but you can always come here. You know that?"

"I know."

"Okay."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Borrowing from the last scene of Into Darkness. Thank you for reading! And I totally forgot about time differences XD, with all the travelling around I imagine people doing. I'll have to go fix that at some point...**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 4 – The Road Ahead**

"There will always be those who mean to do us harm. To stop them, we risk awakening the same evil within ourselves."

Overhead, the sky clouded slightly, and Penelope felt uncomfortable in her grey uniform and hat. The June breeze stayed quiet, but a chill seeped in through all her layers. Wasn't California supposed to be warm?

The captain's voice echoed eerily in the air.

"Our first instinct is to take revenge when those we love are taken from us," Captain Kirk stated, "but that's not who we are. We are here today to rechristen the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ , and to honor those who lost their lives nearly one year ago.

When Christopher Pike first gave me his ship, he made me recite the Captain's Oath, words I didn't appreciate at the time. Now I see them as a call to remember who we once were, and who we must be again.

And those words: Space, the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship _Enterprise_. Her five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no one has gone before."

Subdued applause followed as the Captain dismissed the crowds. Penelope reached out to grab Johnny's hand in solidarity before realizing it was a stranger standing next to her. Flushing, Penelope jerked her hand back just in time.

Scotty twisted around to face her from the row ahead. "Can you believe it, Wrenchy? Finally getting everyone back on board." His excitement made her roll her eyes.

"Yes, I can. We've only been doing test runs for the past six weeks," the Assistant Chief replied dryly. Scotty laughed, drawing the attention of others in the sea of Starfleet officers.

When he noticed, he let his laughter die down. "We're all going out to celebrate before we board," Scotty told her, gesturing to some other crew members in his row. How Scotty had befriended so many people on the Bridge, or why for that matter, eluded Penelope's thinking. "You should come along."

Penelope fixed her face into polite decline, saying, "No, but thank you." Scotty moved his hand in exasperation, knowing by now it was impossible to win an argument with the other engineer.

"Fine then. But don't waste your last few hours on Earth. We might not be back for a long, long time," the Chief Engineer advised before going off with Keenser. Penelope nodded and fought her way through the crowd, destination already in mind.

* * *

The path to the memorial was lined with birch trees, artificially made to be in bloom year round. Scents of wood and flowers hit Penelope. Green grass blades rubbed against her boots as she veered off into the woods, taking a shortcut because time was limited.

When she reached the structure, Penelope paused, letting the spotted summer sunlight fall on her cheeks. The memorial consisted of a circular marble fountain lined with flowers left by family and friends. In the center of the water, there stood a down-scaled model of the Earth. At night, she knew the entire floor of the fountain turned black with twinkling white lights, like stars, sprinkled generously around.

A few people milled around, mostly in groups. As the engineer approached, she read the giant words carved into the marble floor beneath her feet:

 _In honor and memory of the ones who gave their lives_

 _to preserve peace and protect this planet._

Penelope lifted the hat from her head, stood at the edge of the water, and peered in at her reflection. Her dark brown hair was pulled back from her face in a severe bun, her normally dark skin proved pale from months of little sleep, but her green eyes gleamed with the thought of a new mission.

Five years in space seemed to be one hell of an escape.

Drawing her eyes back up, Penelope observed Marie and her kids walking up the steps opposite the fountain. She caught the other woman's eye and waved once. Penelope watched as Laura broke free of her mother's hand and sprinted over to her.

"Lelope, lelope, guess what, guess what?" Laura said excitedly. The little girl was dressed up in a black skirt and shirt, with small dark shoes strapped to her feet. Her dirty blonde hair, so much like Marie's, had been plaited down her back.

She had Johnny's eyes.

"I don't know. Tell me," Penelope begged in pretended suspense.

Laura grinned. "I'm goin' to be a chichen in the play!" Her class was putting together some inane play about farm animals from all the Federation planets, and though Penelope loved Laura to bits, she was slightly glad she'd miss it.

"Wow, congratulation, ma petite étoile!" Penelope cheered, gathering the girl up and swinging her around twice. Laura laughed, and Penelope felt a now familiar pang of guilt. It should be Johnny here getting to see this. Not her. "I'm so proud of you. Your daddy would be too."

The four year old smiled, and by then Marie was there, holding hands with Zach. In her other hand was a bouquet.

"Mommy, I told Pelope about my chichen play!"

Marie grinned at Laura's excitement. "Good, darling. Zach, baby, say hello to your Aunt Penny," the mother instructed.

Zach, unlike his mother and sister, had dark hair. He also had Johnny's black gaze. "Hi," the boy murmered. Out in public, he always got a bit shy, even around Penelope. The engineering officer leaned down and said the greeting right back.

"Have you found his name yet?" Marie asked. Penelope nodded, leading the small family over to the right. When they came upon the name, Marie whispered down to Laura. "Do you want to go put the flowers on Daddy's spot?" The girl took the bouquet and stiffly stepped over to the marble carved place.

 _John Elliot Carlson._

Marie started to tear up, and handed Zach over to Penelope. The Starfleet officer lifted the toddler up easily, letting Marie kneel down with Laura. They were having a whispered conversation, so Penelope backed up slightly to give the mother and daughter privacy.

"How are you today, mon chéri?" Penelope questioned, looking eye to eye with Zach. To answer, he grinned widely for a few seconds. His face them immediately fell back into neutral. Penelope laughed, causing Zach to grin for real and giggle a bit.

"Me too," Penelope agreed. Marie stood up, grabbing Laura's hand, and turned back towards the other pair.

"It's so beautiful here, Penelope. They did a nice job," the woman admitted, taking Zach back and placing him on the ground near them.

Penelope glanced around, and conceded the point. "Yes they did."

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving for five years," Marie said a little later after the four of them made their way to one of the many benches scattered around. Penelope didn't know what to say. The two of them had discussed this many times, and the plans had been made. Marie was doing so much better these days, though things admittedly weren't perfect.

Penelope felt somewhat uncomfortable about leaving Tommy behind, however. "You'll check up on Tommy once in a while for me, yes?" the engineer asked, needing the reassurance. Marie placed a hand on her forearm.

"Of course."

The tree leaves rustled in the wind, and Laura and Zach were running around ten feet away. Their playful screams mixed with the sound of rushing water soothed her anxiety. "You've done so much for us, you know? And you can bet Laura and Zach are going to miss the hell out of you," Marie began again.

Penelope sighed. "They're young. By the time I come back, they won't even remember who I am."

"And what if you don't come back at all?" Marie pressed, her expression turning bitter.

"I can't promise that I will be," Penelope admitted and tried not to sound sappy when she continued, "but know that I understand what I'm getting into, and trust that I will do my best to get back."

Marie hugged her then, surprising Penelope with the touch. After a few moments of complete stiffness from Penelope, the officer relaxed in the hold. "Be safe," Marie whispered before pulling back. "And come home."

"Laura, Zach! Come tell Aunt Penny goodbye." The two ran over, cheeks red from exertion.

"Bye!" they both yelled, and Laura latched onto her leg. Penelope hauled her up into her chest, squeezing the girl tight. She bent down to grab Zach too, and gave them both a long hug. Penelope swallowed back her sorrow.

They didn't even really understand where she was going, or how long she'd be gone.

"Be good for your mama." Then she put the children back on the ground. One more hug from Marie, and then Johnny's family was gone.

* * *

Checking her receiver, Penelope noticed the time, and swore. She didn't want to miss take-off. Penelope gave the memorial, and Johnny, one last thought, and then she started a steady jog over to the flight yard.

Two nights ago, they'd moved the _Enterprise_ up into the space station to ready her for the mission, but this would be the first flight with all the crew. About ten minutes later and Penelope arrived at the sight. People in their crew uniforms and jackets rushed by, excited to get on the shuttles.

Seeing all the uniforms made Penelope remember hers was still in her bag, on her workbench, back at her storage unit. "Oh, come on," Penelope whispered frustratingly. She ran to the nearest transporter machine and punched in the stream of numbers to send her to the French Quarter.

With all the speed she could, Penelope opened up the unit, snatched up her bag, and looked around for anything else she failed to remember. Everything appeared well, so Penelope shut and locked the door.

Turning around, Tommy stood a foot away. Penelope jumped in surprise.

"Sorry," Tommy muttered, seeing her reaction. Her heartbeat settled down, the familiarity of him putting her at ease.

"It's alright, but I'm in a hurry."

"Leaving?" Tommy asked.

Penelope nodded. "Yes."

Tommy suddenly threw his arms around her shoulders and buried his face in her neck. He was crying, Penelope realized after a moment. She dropped her bag and placed one hand between his shoulder blades and the other on his head. He felt so thin. "Tommy, what's the matter?"

"I thought I wasn't going to get to say goodbye," the teenager sobbed. The two had a fight last week when she'd told him she planned to leave. To be fair, Penelope had procrastinated in telling him, so it came as quite a shock to the newly turned fifteen year old.

She pulled him closer, taking in the scent of him. It was hard knowing that if she ever made it back, he would be an adult. There was a deep pain at that thought, but Penelope was doing what she needed to do, for herself. Right now, the best thing was for Penelope to get away. The five year mission would nearly complete her contract with Starfleet, and then, she'd be a free human being. She would be able to go where she wanted, do what she wanted.

Maybe the engineer could have requested a ground assignment, but if there was one thing Penelope knew herself to succeed in, it was running away. So that's what she was going to do. Just run away for a bit. Maybe have an adventure or two. "Stay in school, do your homework, keep the proper licensing on that bike, and no matter what, be happy," Penelope told Tommy, pulling back to meet his gaze.

"And if you ever need a place to crash, you know the codes to that unit, and you know how to get to Marie's," Penelope said. "Promise me if things get worse, you'll stay with Marie." Tommy dropped his eyes. "Promise me," she prompted again.

"I promise," Tommy mumbled. Well, that was probably as good as she'd get.

"Okay," she kissed him on the cheek, "I've got to go now. I'll send you a message every week, so check your receiver for once!" Tommy smiled, and then she was off again.

"Au revoir!" Tommy called, echoing in her ears even after the transporter spat her back out in San Francisco. Penelope ran down the road and into the hangar, noticing the sparse amounts of people and feeling a knot of worry settle.

"Name," the Starfleet worker requested when she reached the shuttle door at a jog.

"Waters, Penelope." The officer nodded, motioning her through wordlessly. Penelope walked into the shuttle, definitely out of breath. She saw no one but science officers on the vehicle, and no one she recognized besides, so Penelope plopped down in the first seat available. Thankfully, the man next to her wasn't in a chatty mood, so they both sat in silence with a space between them.

Ten minutes later, the shuttle started up, and they all strapped in to leave atmosphere. "Shuttle crew, stand by for liftoff," the pilot instructed, closing the door to the cockpit. Penelope had taken the window seat, and she looked out as the small ship lifted up slowly before zooming onwards. They went higher and higher, leaving the tall spires of the city behind.

* * *

The entirety of the ride lasted about fifteen minutes. As the shuttle approached the _Enterprise_ , Penelope smiled softly with pride at the sight of their fully-repaired ship. Landing in the loading dock, the Assistant Chief was first out the door. She rushed to her quarters, luck having made them close by.

Throwing her bag into the small closet after pulling out her crew uniform, Penelope ripped off her grey shirt, tights, and skirt in a hurry. Along with her hat, all the articles were thrown haphazardly onto her bed. When her first shift was over, she could unpack and clean up. She pulled on the black trousers first, then the black, short-sleeved undershirt. Black socks followed, and she pulled her pants into her dark work boots.

There was a hesitation as she stared at the long-sleeved red shirt, with the Starfleet symbol raised slightly. Who knew what the next five years would bring? Sighing, Penelope pulled the stretchy material over her head. Speaking of, her hair was now an absolute mess compared to earlier. She re-did her bun quickly, tying it back with a dark clip.

Finally looking prepared for duty, the Assistant Chief made her way to the Engineering deck. On the way, another officer stepped in line with her. It was Ensign George, she realized with a start. There was a small pause in her gait as she noticed him.

"George, how are you?" she asked politely, not having seen the crewmen for almost a year. It was he who had pulled her from Johnny and brought her back to reality. For that, she probably owed him her life.

He smiled easily. "I'm doing great. Can't believe we're back on the _Enterprise_ again," George remarked, casting a glance around. Then he fixed his blue gaze back on her. "And I heard you got a promotion. How's it feel to be the Assistant Chief?" the Ensign asked graciously.

She frowned with dry humor, "Exhausting." The man chuckled as the two entered the elevator. "Engineering," Penelope called out to the computer. Rising upwards two levels, the lift stopped at the appropriate deck.

"Where have you been assigned?" Penelope questioned with genuine curiosity.

"Switched me to B Section," he answered as they stepped out and headed the same direction.

Penelope nodded in thought. "Yomai's still in charge there. Better watch yourself," she warned, knowing the B Section Head's proclivity for strictness.

"Duly noted. Catch you later, Waters," the man saluted in a relaxed manner, veering off into B.

Penelope flipped open her PADD, dialing Scotty's code in rapidly. "Mr. Scott," she spoke into the device, walking rapidly through into A Section. The brightly lit core of the ship greeted her as she entered.

"Ah, Wrenchy. Finally decided to join us." Scotty's voice echoed, reaching her through the air and through her PADD. Seeing him about twenty yards away, the Assistant Chief flipped the communicator close and tucked it away. "Running a bit late, are we?" the Chief commented, handing her some goggles when she got close enough.

Penelope shrugged, not choosing to engage with the man so close to take-off. He could get so anxious about things, and leaving the station to begin a mission of unprecedented length was no doubt taking a toll on his nerves. "Well go be useful," he ordered, "You check with C, D, and E. Make sure everything's working proper. I'll do A and B."

Leaving wordlessly, the Assistant Chief noticed Keenser hanging upside down on one of the core's outer plating panels. She gave the alien a discreet thumbs up before jogging down to C Section. Glancing around, she caught the eye of M'Barrow, the Head in that area.

"What's the status here?" Penelope asked.

M'Barrow guided her over to the main functioning unit of C Section: Life Support. "We have a green light here, Waters."

Penelope inspected the set-up closely and the busy-looking engineers around them. "All right, looks good. Set the signal for green light," she instructed. M'Barrow dipped his head, going off to follow her orders.

The same pattern repeated in D and E Sections, with Lieutenant Talorak and Junior Lieutenant Illa in command respectfully. Section D functioned mainly on maintaining auxiliary or impulse power, and Section E focused work on weapons systems. There was overlap, otherwise any attack in Engineering could disrupt the entire ship, but generalizations were made so that engineers could specialize in different areas.

"Sir, all three sections have green light," Penelope said into her PADD, waving farewell to Illa as she jogged back to A Section. With all this running around, Penelope had worked up a light sweat.

"That's what I wanna hear, Wrenchy!" Scotty exclaimed through the device.

"I'm heading over to you now. Waters out."

Penelope reached Scotty just in time to hear him conversing with the captain over the intercom system. "Mr. Scott, how's our core?"

The Chief Engineer crossed his arms and replied. "Purring like a kitten, Captain. She's ready for a long journey." Penelope would always feel slightly odd about Scotty's 'relationship' with the _Enterprise_. Whatever made a person happy, Penelope supposed. But still...

* * *

A minute later, and the vessel had entered warp-speed. Scotty unfolded his arms, looking down at Keenser and then at Penelope. "Suppose we should gather up our engineers now?" Scotty asked expectantly. Penelope rolled her eyes. She wondered if Scotty realized that Assistant Chief did not mean she was actually his _assistant_.

Reaching forward, Penelope pressed a button on the computer dock nearby. "All non-essential engineers please report to A Section of Engineering. I repeat: All non-essential engineers please report to A Section of Engineering." It took around fifteen minutes for everyone to gather, and then a quick roll-call was taken by the computer.

Scotty reached over, pulled out and got onto a small step-stool, and started his speech over the speakers. His Scottish accent echoed through all the engineering decks, so that even those not present would hear the announcement.

"Listen up, you lot. I'm Scotty, the CEO aboard our lovely Enterprise. Call me Scotty, no need for formality. That's reserved for the stiff-necks up in Command." A few chuckles escaped the engineers in response. "To my left here is your Assistant Chief, Wrenchy." Penelope winced, knowing it would now be nearly impossible to convince the crew to call her by her correct name. "And to my right is Keenser. He doesn't really do much but get in the way." Some more laughs rose up at that.

"Now we're headed off on a five year mission into deep-space. That means few starbases, little shore-leave, and a lot of unknowns. We have to be prepared for the unexpected. The rest of the crew depends on us to keep this ship running until the very last, so I want you all to understand that I expect you on duty when your shift comes around, barring any extenuating circumstances." The engineers shifted a bit at that.

"As I'm sure you all know," Scotty continued, "This is our first flight since the attack nearly a year ago. Engineering was hit the hardest, as is normal for our department in Starfleet. But thanks to the dedication of our engineers, many of whom have returned to serve once again, the Enterprise managed a safe landing.

We lost a lot of people that day, so believe me when I tell you that I understand the sacrifice you make by being here. We're going on a journey, exploring into uncharted territory. I admire each and every one of you, and I hope to _personally_ drink all of you under the table some day. Thank you."

Wolf-whistles and applause rang out at Scotty's last comment, causing a quick grin to grace his face.

"Now," the Chief prompted, quieting the engineers, "I believe Wrenchy has something to say."

Penelope cleared her throat and called out in a clear voice, her own accent hardly distinguishable from a standard one.

"My name is Lieutenant Waters." Judging by the scattered giggles, Penelope guessed Scotty had made some sort of gesture behind her. Gritting her teeth, she spoke on. "How many of you have just graduated Academy. Show of hands, please." About one third of the engineers raised their red-clad arms. Penelope nodded.

"For many of you, this is your first assignment. I was in the same situation over two years ago, when I was called from the Academy to answer Vulcan's distress call aboard this vessel." A silence settled over the crowd at the mention of the destroyed planet. "There's not many engineers left from that day, or from the next year serving on the _Enterprise_. So let me give you a bit of advice, something any engineer would tell you after a little bit of time.

Do not panic. There will be times when this ship comes across things you'll never have seen before, and you'll have to make split-second decisions on what to do about it. Whether you're a Commander, an Ensign, or an enlisted crewmember, my words still stand. Everyone on this ship depends on everyone else to do their job and to do it quickly.

That being said, if I ever catch anyone here without the proper safety equipment attached to their bodies, you'll be suspended before you can say 'Klingon'. If you're not clear on all the safety regulation, I suggest you do some research in your handbooks.

If I catch anyone without safety gear a second time, you'll be getting an assignment transfer, effective immediately. Captain Kirk has already given me the assurance he'll sign off on any transfers with proof of an engineer's negligence for their own well-being. I care little for how high up you are in rank, or how low. I do not want any dead engineers on my hands because they forgot to strap themselves into a harness."

Penelope looked through the crowd, locking eyes with a couple of green looking engineers. She nodded once more. "Thank you." There was another silent moment as the crew took in her words, and Scotty suddenly clapped her on the back and laughed.

"Well now she's done with the scary part, time to get back to your stations!" the Chief called cheerily, cutting through the newfound tension. Keenser blinked once, and Penelope shook her head at Scotty's antics. A couple of goodhearted groans filled the air as the engineers dispersed throughout the different sections.

Keenser locked eyes with Penelope and slowly climbed up a giant tube, causing her to shake her head again. The pair of them were made for each other, Penelope thought as A Section cleared out of the majority. "Hey, Wrenchy?" Scotty asked, not yet noticing Keenser's absence.

Penelope looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Mind keeping on top of things for a few?" Penelope nodded once.

"And where are you going?" she asked, putting on the goggles from earlier and searching for gloves in her toolbelt. Scotty gestured towards the lift.

"Captain wants to see me on the Bridge," he admitted.

Penelope shrugged. "Okay." Scotty told her to call him if anything came up before walking away. When she was done putting her gloves on, Penelope strolled over to the tube Keenser had climbed up and stuck her head inside.

Her black-tinted vision met Keenser's green face. "If he catches you up there, I'm not covering for you."

Keenser nodded. Penelope returned the gesture, pulling her head from the tube.

It was going to be a long five years, she decided with finality.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks again for the views and reviews, follows, and otherwise!**

 **This plot comes as a modified version of the TOS episode: _The Corbomite Maneuver_. Thought it'd be fun to start the mission with an old episode, leading the new crew into their first major catastrophe. Some elements were changed, like I said, and obviously the focus is in engineering (so we won't ever really know exactly what's going on, like a crewmember would if they were on the bridge, where all the decision shtuff goes down). If you want to know what happens up on the Bridge, you should watch the episode. It's a good one!**

 **Not every story arc is going to be a regarbled version of TOS, so have no fear! And please enjoy :)**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 5 – Breaking Point**

A week later, the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ was working on her first orders: to make new charts of star configurations as they traveled further and further onto the edges of the known universe. Boring, dull, and completely calm, the task at hand lulled Penelope into a sense of complacency.

And so Penelope received her first injury aboard the rebuilt starship, she noted with distaste.

She had moved in to rewire the backup dilithium connector to the core when her laser fumbled and instead sliced deep into her skin. Blood oozed from her palm, and the pain of the wound began to affect her tinkering. At first, she'd been content to simply change out her gloves.

Convinced the injury was minor, Penelope had wrapped up the cut with gauze in her first aid kit and continued on with her duties. The problem was that the blood continued to flow from the cut, seeping through the second pair of protective gear.

In a cry of frustration, Penelope flung the blood-soaked glove on the floor. The sound of the resounding smack drew Keenser's attention from above her.

"It's nothing," Penelope told him, irritation coming through her tone. Keenser blinked at her and swung off in another direction. _Whatever_ , Penelope thought, _it's not like she'd actually been mean_. Wrapping the wound tighter, the Assistant Chief finished the wiring job more carefully.

Straightening up from her bent over position, Penelope grimaced in disgust at the sight of blood covering the machine. Her frustration reached new levels when she thought about having to sanitize the station. All because she had made one small mistake.

Penelope seriously considered kicking something.

In the middle of an internal debate on the immaturity of such an action, Scotty came up to her with his arms crossed. Keenser trailed behind silently. From the Chief's expression, Penelope knew Keenser had told on her. _Traitor._

"For Christ's sake," Scotty exclaimed, noticing the mess and her pale face. "What the hell were you waiting for, Wrenchy? Go to Sickbay." Go to Sickbay for a cut? It was unbelievable. Of all the idiotic things Scotty had ordered her to do over the last year, this had to be the biggest waste of time yet.

Penelope started to argue, her hands gesturing to the chamber. "But-"

"Do I have to make that an order?" Scotty asked in incredulity. "Go." Penelope slumped out, determined to go back to her quarters and deal with the thing there. After all, Scotty had implied it wasn't really an order, so that meant she could just –

"Oh and Keenser. Make sure she actually ends up in Sickbay," Scotty loudly told the shorter engineer. Penelope flinched but waited for Keenser to catch up.

She definitely did not stomp all the way to the elevator. Nor did she pout petulantly at Keenser when they were alone. "Can't believe you went and snitched on me," she muttered to him. Keenser's expression met her gaze blankly before staring pointedly at the yet-to-clot cut on her hand.

Knowing Keenser would just go and _tattle_ on her if she didn't end up in Sickbay, Penelope went along, clutching her hand tightly. Keenser walked beside her the whole way, which made her blood boil. She wasn't an infant. She knew the way to Sickbay, and she could make it there on her own. Scotty was an engineer, not a medic. What did he know about it anyways? And Keenser, going off to tell Scotty as though Penelope didn't cover for Keenser _all the time._

The engineer slunk into Sickbay. It was, rather fortunately for Penelope, a slow day for the doctors and nurses aboard the Enterprise. Most of the crew members who had put off their physicals until getting on the ship had been cleared.

All, apparently, save one.

"Goddammit, Bones. You're a menace with that thing!" Captain Kirk shouted. Penelope joined the onlookers in Sickbay, all of them watching their CMO chase the captain around a biobed.

"Don't be a baby, Jim. You're behind on inoculations," the Doctor insisted, a hypospray in hand. Penelope noticed a quiet tone of amusement in the way the doctor spoke. The pair circled around the biobed another time, eyeing the other suspiciously.

The captain held his hands up in appeasement. "I've done everything you wanted. I did a full physical, even with your creepy cold hands, _and_ I let you talk me into a psych eval," the captain pleaded. Penelope sympathized with his situation, letting the captain's distress distract her from her anger. It was much easier watching someone else be subjected to McCoy's wrath, even so far as to be amusing.

Did she just giggle?

"Then just let me give you the hypo," the doctor reasoned, taking a step around to the captain's side of the bed. The other man didn't move, but he was definitely leaning away.

"You give me one, then all of a sudden, it's five more out of nowhere," Captain Kirk stated with resentment. Sensing victory, McCoy struck lightning fast, and the sound of a hissing hypo filled the air.

It was a pretty sound. Like the noise of an energy-efficient engine on a lightcar leaving its garage in the middle of the night. Or maybe more like a heating vent turning on in the winter when snow started to fall outside.

"Ouch," the captain mumbled, or was he mumbling? He sounded far away, though they couldn't be more than a couple yards apart. Penelope noticed Keenser looking at her with concern. Why was he doing that? Couldn't he just accept that she was fine?

A quiet sound from Keenser drew the eyes of both the CMO and the captain, as well as their audience of medical personal over to the two engineers. "Wow, that's a lot of blood," the captain stated, still sounding much farther away than he really was. Penelope looked down at her left palm, noticing that the blood had soaked through the bandage. The engineer smiled. Now her hand matched her shirt.

Someone was directing her over to a biobed, which was fine. Penelope felt kind of lightheaded, and she was blinking rapidly. "Where's Keenser gone?" the engineer asked the doctor in her line of sight, who she recognized as M'Benga. He had dealt with her exams since she'd first been assigned to the _Enterprise_.

"Keenser went back to Engineering, Lieutenant," Dr. M'Benga told her as she sat down on the bed. "Lie back and hold your left arm up." Penelope felt a fleeting annoyance as she remembered that Sickbay was somewhere she didn't want to be.

Penelope laid down anyway and let the doctor do whatever to her arm. A hypospray hissed again as a sharp pain hit her senses. "How did this happen?" a voice came from her right. Penelope turned her head to see McCoy. She could see the captain held in place by the CMO's grip on his shoulder. That was silly.

"You're really annoying," the Assistant Chief told McCoy truthfully, not answering the question. She didn't want him to have any more reason to think she was dumb. "If I wouldn't get in trouble, I'd prolly have punched you by now." There were a few laughs from people around her. None came from the CMO, whose expression had soured. It made him look funny. She told him so, though her words came out slightly slurred.

"No offense, Waters, but I don't think you're looking too great yourself," McCoy taunted. Penelope tried to glare at him, but the attempt proved unsuccessful when her attention was drawn back to M'Benga.

She tried to pull her arm away but failed. "That hurts." The doctor treating her seemed unsympathetic, which Penelope thought was hardly fair.

"Maybe if you'd have come down sooner," McCoy implied when M'Benga stayed silent. Penelope thought then that even if she got in trouble, she might just have to risk disciplinary action. Only the one hit, though. She wouldn't let it get out of hand.

That was...probably not true.

A few minutes passed, in which time the CMO had pulled Captain Kirk to the side to administer more vaccines, and M'Benga finished fiddling around with her hand. "I want you to stay here for a few hours and rest. You lost a considerable amount of blood," he told her seriously. "Next time, just come here instead of waiting for orders. I doubt Mr. Scott wants to see his second bleed to death at her station." As Penelope didn't mind M'Benga, she actually managed to feel a little bad about the whole situation.

The cut had been set with a new layer of sprayed on skin, and then covered with a fresh set of bandages. M'Benga handed her a glass of orange juice and told her he'd be back in fifteen minutes.

Meanwhile the captain seemed intent on giving McCoy hell, which the head doctor returned with full force. "That's already been four hypos, sadist!" Captain Kirk called out in frustration. Penelope's eyes followed the argument like a sporting match.

"Stubborn!"

"Crazy!"

"Immature!"

"Insubordinate!"

"Cocky!"

"Asshole!"

"Mother- _fucker_!"

The captain paused for a moment. "Wait, she told you?" Another hypo was jammed into Captain Kirk's neck. Just as the captain was about to retaliate, a general alert sounded across the ship. All of them jumped, and the captain rushed over to the computer, McCoy forgotten.

"Spock, what's going on?" the captain's voice managed to relate a tone of urgency without sounding panicked. Penelope sat up, and swung her legs down from the biobed. In a series of long gulps, the engineer chugged the juice while keeping an ear open to the conversation.

The first officer responded. "There's an unidentified object blocking our path." A pause that likely indicated the relay of images passed. Penelope steadied herself as she stood, feeling more like herself than she had in the last twenty minutes.

"And it's just sitting there?" Captain Kirk asked.

"Every time we attempt to evade it, the cube has returned to halt our movements."

"Has it attacked?"

"No, Captain," said the first officer, allowing a breath to escape Penelope that she hadn't known she'd been holding. "But it has interfered with warp capabilities." No.

"Alright. I'll be up in two. Kirk out." The captain ran out of Sickbay without a backwards glance. McCoy let out a sigh, and Penelope finally felt well enough to head back to Engineering. Straightening her shoulders, Penelope strode confidently past the CMO.

Maybe he'd just let her go, no argument necessary. "And where do you think you're going, Lieutenant?" Or maybe not?

Not bothering to answer, Penelope sped up her gait. Breaking successfully out of Sickbay tasted like victory, but the feeling was short-lived as concern overtook her senses. What was happening down in Engineering?

Anger rose again at the thought of her incompetency. The first interesting thing to happen in days, and she might have been stuck in Sickbay. Good thing Scotty still hadn't _technically_ ordered her there. It was always good to have an out, especially when the ship's CMO was, to put it in the captain's words, an insubordinate, crazy sadist.

The elevator went way too slow, driving Penelope sick with worry. Or maybe that was the blood loss? Either way, the engineer wanted to puke. "Finally," Penelope muttered, rushing out of the machine and down into A Section.

"Mr. Scott," Penelope said, her PADD opening as she walked as fast as possible over to the warp core.

A few seconds later, the Chief Engineer responded. "Scotty here. Better not be out of Sickbay, Wrenchy." Penelope winced at the tone. She wondered if she'd actually upset the normally laid back man. Well, laid back about everything but the _Enterprise_.

"M'Benga let me leave," she lied. It was sort of true, though, if you considered the doctor had never outright told her _not_ to leave under any circumstances. Surely a general alert merited an early discharge?

Scotty sighed through the communicator. "Fine. Come to A. Scott out." The line went dead, so Penelope put the PADD away. Her hand throbbed in time with her heartbeat. She glared down at the offending appendage, hoping to will away the pain.

That may have had an effect on what happened next.

A fellow engineer jogged past, knocking into her shoulder accidentally. The flash of dark hair and olive skin in an engineering uniform, along with the recent blood loss, may also have helped her brain come to the conclusion.

Mostly, though, Penelope wondered if maybe instead the universe simply enjoyed messing with her. Because for just a split-second, Penelope thought Johnny had passed by, and knowing that it wasn't, she halted.

Her throat burned and her eyes watered, and somehow she felt that it had nothing to do with her hand.

 _You should be over this by now. Get yourself together, Waters. You're on general alert. Go._

But her legs weren't working, and there was water on her cheeks. _Move. Go._ Her mind screamed for her body to move, all the while the general alert continued to light up the Engineering deck. The engines weren't functioning, so it was time for her to _go._

"Are you alright, ma'am?" another engineer approached her amidst the tall machines lining the walls. The engineer – Ensign Jameson – if she recalled, broke her from the spell.

Penelope cleared her throat, wiping her face. "Yes, thank you, Ensign. As you were," the Assistant Chief informed the other woman. Jameson nodded before going on. Penelope shook herself and ran the rest of the way to the warp core.

"Scotty," she panted when she finally got to the CEO.

He glared at her. "What took you so long?" Penelope just shook her head, far more winded from the run than she should have been. "You still look pale," Scotty said.

"I'm fine," Penelope told the man.

"I'll take you at your word, lass. Now let me fill you in. The core's acting up, and there's some kind of cube stopping the Enterprise from moving. I think the object's got to do with our malfunctions, which to tell you the truth, Wrenchy," Scotty told her as they walked along A Section, "shouldn't even be possible."

Penelope took in the report, and just as she attempted to probe further into the matter, Scotty's PADD dinged with an incoming call. "Scott," he intoned, flipping that device open. The Assistant Chief waited patiently, though Scotty looked a bit peeved at the interruption. The impromptu role reversal felt strange to Penelope, as her temper usually flared first out of the two.

"Spock here. You're to report to the Bridge, Mr. Scott, ASAP." Before Scotty could even acknowledge, the first officer ended the call with, "Spock out." Scotty's face turned a light shade of red.

He spluttered in indignation. "Oh, so first they wreck my core, and now they want me to leave Engineering for some bloody meeting," the Chief exclaimed. He looked right at Penelope. "I've got to go. Find a way to keep her going, Wrenchy, and call me if you need me." His final glance at her implied he expected a call to get him off the Bridge.

"Yes, sir."

Penelope threw on her goggles and gloves on as quickly as she could. Before she approached the core, she spared a glance at the computer dock. What she saw caused her to pull off the black eyecovering. An officer was monitoring the readings from the cube, trying to pinpoint the energy's point of origin and type of engine. "What's your name, sir?" Penelope asked the man.

He turned around at the question. "Ensign Fly, Lieutenant." Fly responded quickly, which Penelope appreciated. The Assistant Chief Engineer leaned forward, observing the readings on the screen.

"So it's got mass," she commented.

"Yes, ma'am." Penelope nodded, keeping that in mind as she walked away.

She flipped open her PADD, comming Lieutenant Illa. "Waters here," Penelope said.

"Waters, this is Lt. Illa. Orders?"

"Yes. I want your crew focused on preparing our phasers for attack. I'll be sending in help from C Section. Expect them momentarily."

"Aye, ma'am."

"Waters out." Penelope punched in to M'Barrow, informing him to send a group of four engineers from his section to Illa's. Then she addressed A Section in person, whistling loudly to get their attention. When she had it, the engineer spoke clearly. "I want every one of you to help me maintain this core. It is essential that we be able to move the Enterprise when the Bridge tells us.

Gregory, Kelly, Ra-Tomstan, Slestor: I want you all inspecting the dilithium chambers and checking the power level of those crystals. If they're drained, replace them. Don't bother to wait for clearance this time.

Xeel, Trudy, and Clampton: look at the core through the computers and radiation chamber. See if anythings misaligned or just plain wrong.

Hatter and Joel: make sure none of the plasma conduits have overheated or tangled. Like I said to the others, if you see something wrong, fix it. Clearance is second priority at this point. Something goes wrong, I'll take the fall. Clear?"

A series of _**yes,** __**Wrenchy**_ 's filled the section, and when Penelope got her hands on Scotty, she was going to skin him alive for that idiotic nickname.

"Lieutenant Commander Rome, Ensign Fly, with me," she instructed to the A Section Head and computer-engineer, leading the way into Scotty's office. When the three arrived in the Chief's office, Penelope had a flashback to the hull breach in C Section from _Vengeance_ 's attack.

Pulling out her PADD, Penelope contacted Yomai. "Waters here. Are your deflector shields on standby?"

Yomai answered after a five second pause. "Yes, Lieutenant."

"Good, keep them there. Divert any extra power to those, we may need them. And tell your crew to secure themselves..."

"Affirmative, ma'am. Yomai out."

Penelope shut the PADD, then looked up at Rome and Fly. "Listen, I'm going to be honest with you both," Penelope said before gesturing around to the numerous plans Scotty had drawn up. Various blueprints scattered his desk, along with some dirty coffee mugs. She was definitely going to have to get someone down here to clean this office out. "I'm not big on the whole theory area of engineering. But if you two can figure out some way to get the core functioning full power again, you can bet I can get it done."

The two officers nodded, then both took seats around the desk. Penelope could read an engineering blueprint as well as the next trained officer, but the high mathematical techniques Scotty used were just too advanced for the Assistant Chief.

Penelope left the office and shut the door before pulling out her communicator. "Waters to Mr. Scott."

"Scotty here. How's the ship?"

Penelope sighed. "She's steady right now, but I don't know for how long. What's the situation there?"

"Nothing pleasant. Jim and Spock are arguing like cats and dogs, in their own way. Meanwhile, I can't figure out how the damn cube is being powered."

"You saw the readings?" the Assistant Chief inquired.

"Aye, and I know its solid through and got mass. Other than that, we're blind," Scotty answered in frustration.

"Let's say the power source isn't in the cube. What if its being controlled by an outside engine? How far could the range be on something like that?" Penelope asked, questions coming out on after the other.

Scotty paused, taking the idea into consideration. "I already thought of that. It would explain the lack of readings, but Wrenchy, even if it were an outside source, some sort of anomaly would appear on the sensor scans."

"Not this far out, not necessarily," Penelope countered.

Scotty answered. "What, like some kind of booster?"

"Maybe, I don't know. Is it possible that the booster wouldn't appear on sensors?"

"I'll check with Spock. Scott out."

Almost as soon as the communication line ended, Ensign Ra-Tomstan came bursting onto the catwalk. "Wrenchy, dilithium crystals in chambers _Able_ and _Blake_ are drained. For some reason, the machines weren't registering them as dead. We're replacing them now, but tell the Bridge they'll need to wait on warp travel. She's at half power."

Penelope thanked and dismissed the officer. The man ran off, back to the dilithium chambers. "Engineering to Captain Kirk."

"Engineering, this is Kirk. What's wrong?"

"Whatever you do, Captain, do not use warp speed. The dilithium crystals are in the process of replacement. Right now we're maybe on half-power at best."

She heard the captain swear before continuing on. "This is Lieutenant Waters, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. What do you recommend in terms of action?"

Penelope rolled her eyes, sensing that somehow the captain was dragging everyone into the argument with his first officer. "I couldn't tell you, Captain," she replied, "but what I will say is that with power as is, if you plan to attack that thing, get ready to feel the consequences of it.

And do not, under any circumstances, use warp. If you want to move, employ sub-warp speeds."

"Fine. How long till it's fixed?"

"I'd say about twelve hours, sir."

An audible sigh could be heard over the communications line.

"Acknowledged. Kirk out."

Penelope started issuing orders for the rest of A Section to help the dilithium chamber team, except for Rome and Fly. Scotty chimed in again on her PADD. "Wrenchy, it's Scotty. They're making all the department heads meet in the briefing room. I've tried to convince Jim to send me back to the core, but he thinks you've got things under control. Is he right?"

Resisting the urge to slam the PADD against the wall, Penelope replied. "Yes, sir." The engineer sounded far more confident than she really was. In truth, her hand throbbed, and her head was pounding with the stress of organizing all the engineering sectors. She hadn't even remembered to send orders to the Transporter Room or Maintenance or even thought to call in any off-duty engineers. Likely they'd all arrived by the general alert, but had she even instructed the computer to take roll call?

"Right. I'll be in the briefing room, thinking about shooting a stunner at myself to save me from the drudgery. Good luck."

"Thanks. Waters out."

While Rome and Fly worked on speeding up the process of recharging, Penelope started to fix all the mistakes she'd made since Scotty left to the Bridge.

* * *

Eight hours into the crisis, Penelope contacted the briefing room. "Engineering to Captain Kirk."

"Kirk here. Has something else depressing occurred in Engineering, Waters?"

Penelope wanted to laugh. She felt so giddy at the success of A Section, or maybe her reaction was fueled by a mixture of coffee, hunger, and blood loss. The Assistant Engineer made the other officers take short breaks, all except herself. She suspected the other section heads had done the same. Oh, the benefits of command.

At this point, Penelope was running on cups of coffee alone. Earlier, her wound had reopened, but as the damage was far less severe, Penelope managed to re-bandage the cut with the help of Sleston, who had some medical training.

That had been two hours ago, when Rome and Fly made a breakthrough in Scotty's notes. They managed to compute a system in which the output of a single dilithium chamber increased by 0.4. It wouldn't last long and wasn't the safest long-term, but it would hold up for the next forty-eight hours without problem. To celebrate, she let them both escape the confine of Scotty's office to scrounge up something from the replicators.

Penelope's own hands-on expertise implemented the design changes, completing the last re-route with a flourish. "No, sir. We're fully charged. Feel free to travel at warp, Captain."

The Assistant Engineer could hear the smile in the captain's voice. "Finally some good news. Good work, Waters."

Scotty's voice blared through the same communications line, so that meant they were all still in the briefing room. "How'd you manage to recharge the dilithium chambers so quickly?" the CEO asked.

"We raided your office. I assigned Rome and Fly to make some sense out of your ramblings to speed up the process," Penelope informed Scotty, his excitement mirroring her own. Just as she was sure Scotty would start a major interrogation, the captain interrupted.

"Waters, I'm sending Scotty back to Engineering. He'll take back over, and then I'm pulling our ship out of this situation. Standby for warp-travel. Kirk out." At the sound of the captain's announcement, everyone in A Section cheered. Penelope's hyper-activeness urged her to join in as loudly as she could.

Five minutes later, Scotty was back where he should be, and Penelope gave a great sigh of relief. No way she would ever want Scotty's job. Assistant Chief was as high as Penelope wanted to climb, and she now wondered how he managed to stay as sane as he was under the circumstances.

An announcement from the Bridge echoed ship wide. "Alert all decks. We're going to try pulling away. Standby." Penelope recognized Sulu's voice on the comm. Then, the _Enterprise_ finally started to move.

First slowly, at sub-warp speeds, but gradually increasing. Scotty was barking out orders to try and keep up with the constant speed fluctuations. "Wrenchy, is there anyone left in the prime core's central plating units."

"No, sir."

Scotty gave her a long look. "Okay. I want you to go there. If you see any trouble with the core's functioning, you fix it. Got it?"

"Yes, sir," she answered, not allowing the exhaustion to seep in. _Keep it together, Waters._ Scotty nodded, warning her to be careful. Penelope ran over in the direction of the prime core, throwing on her protective gear as she ran.

She could feel her heart pounding against her chest as the ship sped up to Warp 3. No way they would keep pushing it. But by the time Penelope reached her destination, Warp 3 had been held steady. All computers were blaring with radiation warnings, and there multiple leaks lining the inner plating of the core.

As she attempted to plug the energy bursts, Penelope observed dangerous readings on her tricorder. Would they slow the ship down? Penelope wasn't a miracle worker. The captain would be lucky if he didn't kill them all. If the radiation didn't do the job, then the warp core burning out would ensure a nice long wait while Engineering rebooted systems.

A nice long wait in a suspicious outer quadrant seemed undesirable, at least to Penelope's standards. But what did she know?

And then the ship halted. Penelope smiled in relief, and started fixing the various leaks around with more precision. Halfway through with repairs, some other A Section engineers joined her on Scotty's orders.

That's around the time when Scotty called her through their PADDs. "Scott to Wrenchy."

"I swear Mr. Scott," Penelope answered, "I'm going to get you back for that nickname."

The tone in Scotty's voice indicated that this was no time for banter. "Wrenchy, we destroyed the cube, but the captain's ordered some simulated attacks for Engineering to complete."

"You're joking, yes?" Penelope asked, throwing down one of her sonic-wrenches in a slowly rising fury. The other engineers looked on, stilling in their work.

"I'm afraid not, lass," Scotty informed her. "Apparently we were sluggish."

"Sluggish!" Penelope yelled into the PADD. "I'll show that man sluggish. Does he even know what he did to our engines?" This time, Penelope might actually throw the communicator. One of these days...

"Wrenchy, enough. The simulation's coming in. Standby to give orders at battle stations." Scotty's voice blared harshly over the comm, and Penelope saw red. How dare that pathetic _dictator_ Kirk order her engineers to some fake attack when they'd just spent half the day cleaning up the Bridge's messes? And now, with general alert finally over, none of them would get a break.

As expected, the engineers were informed of the simulations and ordered to battle stations. Penelope obviously didn't like it any more than they did, but as per orders, the Assistant Engineer aided Scotty in the oversee of all engineering decks in the attack.

When the grueling and pointless exercise finally ceased, Penelope observed the ratings. At ninety percent, she thought they'd be in the clear.

"Are we done yet?" Penelope asked impatiently.

Scotty grunted, just as tired as she was. "I hope so. The captain's usually alright to -"

"This is the Bridge," blared the comm in Chekov's heavily accented voice, "Engineering Decks, please prepare for better reaction times in second simulated attack." The thought of wrapping her hands around the throat of the captain never seemed so desirable. Penelope kept her mouth shut at Scotty's pointed look, and the two prepared again for battle stations.

Then, halfway through the second simulation, Chekov's voice halted. Then he began again. "All Decks, report to battle stations. This is not a drill. Repeat: all decks report to battle station. This is not a drill."

Penelope always thought that overwhelming exhaustion distracted her from her anger. But not this time. No, this time, Penelope thought she might have to escort herself off the deck because the next time she heard orders from the Bridge, she might actually have a breakdown.

"Wrenchy, are you alright?" Scotty looked concerned, but that was ignored because the _fucking_ nickname just got to her.

Trying her best not to do something she might regret, Penelope murmured a seething, "Excuse me one moment." She ran off into Scotty's office, as her quarters were too far and she didn't have her own office. The Assistant Engineer then let out a very loud scream, and proceeded to throw one of Scotty's coffee mugs into the walls. It made her feel slightly better, so she threw the rest of them too. They were all Starfleet issued cups, and all of them were empty, so the only mess was of the broken materials themselves.

She took deep breaths, trying to get herself under control. _She was supposed to be at battle stations_.

Her communicator beeped. Rubbing her temple with her uninjured hand, Penelope flipped open the PADD. "Yes?" the engineering officer asked calmly.

"Wrenchy, get your ass back to your station. Now." Then Scotty was gone. Penelope let out one more scream, then left the office in a rush.

When she arrived back to Scotty, the Chief gave her a mean look. "If you ever abandon your post like that again, you'll be off this ship. Understood?" Penelope kept the easy retort that he was a hypocrite from leaving her lips and simply chose to respond.

"Yes, sir."

If Scotty had been going to say anything after that, he was cut off by a rumbling that threw both engineers to the floor. Penelope got up in a hurry, knowing that in her current state, she was likely to fall asleep if she stayed in the ground too long.

"The engines are down, Scotty!" one of the other engineers yelled from the hangar above. Keenser was with the woman who had shouted, gesturing to the Chief. Scotty and Penelope shared a look, in that one instance deciding to forget about any quarrel and focus on the _Enterprise_.

Penelope opened a channel from her to all the section heads of engineering with the help of a communications officer, while Scotty left to go see the core with Keenser.

Yomai was the first to speak. "Has there been any news from the Bridge?"

"Not as of yet, Commander. We're still awaiting orders."

Penelope had Rome trying to reach the Bridge to no avail. Something was either blocking the frequency, or everyone on the bridge was too preoccupied to pick up. Either way, Penelope tried not to let the failing get her angry again. She needed to stay calm.

"Has Scotty handed down any orders to relay, ma'am?" Illa asked.

The Assistant Chief frowned. "No. But you are all to remain on standby, battle station ready. If there's -" Penelope was cut off as some type of electrical interference occurred, cutting off communications. She stepped back as the communications officer attempted to regain the signal. Penelope wondered what was taking Scotty so long.

"Your ship has made hostile movements. Your lives are now forfeit. Ten Terran minutes have been allotted to you to prepare for death," a foreign voice called on all frequencies.

Finally, her PADD beeped. "Scotty, where are you? What the hell was that?"

"I've been called up to the Bridge. Take over and standby for orders from the captain."

"Aye, sir." Penelope hoped she didn't have to wait too long for those to come in.

Keenser walked over to her. "Where have you been?" she asked with no malice in her voice. The alien didn't look up. She could sense Keenser's unease. "Scotty's going to be just fine, you know that." The other engineer just shrugged, looking morose.

A more familiar voice filled Penelope's ears. "All decks, this is the captain speaking. As you've just heard, another ship has been in communication with us for the last fifteen minutes. I ask that you remain calm. We will work through the situation, but I want you all to remember: the biggest enemy when dealing with new life forms is ourselves.

Please standby. Captain out."

Not at all reassured with the man's competency, Penelope suddenly heard another shout. "All travel systems offline."

Penelope gently pushed the communications officer aside. "Hello, this is Lieutenant Waters. Please respond."

"This is Yomai, Lieutenant. Do you have orders?"

"Yes," Penelope exclaimed, "With whatever you can spare, help A Section compensate for warp travel. I think the Bridge is going to try something stupid. Waters out." She instructed the communications officer to relay that message to C and E when he could. She also told the communicator to order D Section to focus on keeping impulse power a viable alternative.

Meanwhile, she and Keenser jogged back to the dilithium chambers. Penelope was yelling orders to officers face to face and over the communicator in a blur, while Keenser put his climbing skills to use and scaled the main chamber. Penelope gave the engineer a thumbs up at his signal, and then he began the process of a manual override on all the chambers.

 _Please let this work_ , Penelope thought.

"Wrenchy, I'm coming back down to engineering. Can you get any response from the core?"

Penelope brought the PADD with her as she hooked herself into a harness and began climbing up the chamber. "Keenser and I are attempting to use manual controls."

"Alright. Good luck. Scott out." Penelope felt as Keenser pushed the lever, the vibrations pumping through her entire body. Penelope noticed that her hand had bled lightly through again. She swore, and then her hope faded as the engine rumble stopped.

Keenser came in her line of sight, frowning as much as his face allowed. Penelope sighed, flipping open her communicator. "Waters to Scott. Main power failed to manually connect to engine power. Waters out." The engineering pair climbed back down the chamber, with Penelope feeling more pessimistic than ever.

What did she know? What could she do? The cube had been destroyed, warp travel had returned, and then suddenly, the entire ship was threatened and engines failed. What the hell was the Bridge playing at up there?

"Three minutes," the alien voice called. Penelope sighed as her feet hit the ground, and she unhooked herself and removed her gloves and goggles. Scotty was there waiting, but Penelope only shook her head in defeat. Scotty rubbed a hand over his face in thought and exhaustion.

"You now have two minutes."

Some of the engineers around them looked nervous, so Penelope started to issue orders to keep them busy. Scotty continued to stand there, thinking. Knowing without a doubt that Scotty could come up with some bright idea, Penelope took over again.

A countdown had been set – by the aliens? - on all computer screens.

What a stupid way to die, only one week into a five year mission.

"Three...two...one..." Penelope shut her eyes, grabbing Keenser's hand and surprising herself by thinking of not Johnny, but her mother.

And then, there was nothing. Literally, nothing happened. Penelope opened one eye, glancing around at her surroundings. A grin cracked onto her tired expression, and some clapping let out through the engineering deck.

"Alright, back to work!" Scotty yelled jokingly at the crew. He came forward, and threw an arm around Keenser and Penelope. It was quite an impressive feat, as Scotty was a few inches taller than Penelope, and the two of them were both much bigger than Keenser. "Looks like the captain came through for us!"

Engine power returned in an instant, causing Penelope to look around in confusion. Scotty's expression mirrored her own, so he walked a few steps forward, contacting the captain. "Engineering to the Bridge. Scott here. What's going on, Captain?"

"They're pulling us in some sort of a transport beam. Is there any way for you to break the connection?" the captain answered. Penelope watched as Scotty made eye contact with Keenser, gesturing frantically for him to approach the computer dock. He did so, trying a few alternative codes to halt the tractor beam's influence.

The coding had no affect, so Keenser shook his head. Penelope's hope sunk to the bottom of her chest, settling there unsteadily. While Keenser had been working on the tractor beam, Penelope had issued orders to prepare the core for warp, but if they couldn't get out of the beam, it'd be pointless.

"Sir, we can't so anything about the beam," Scotty's answer came with a note of finality, "but we have reverse thrusters standing by."

The captain responded quickly. "Good. Prepare for warp speed on those thrusters. Kirk out." The three engineers split up. Penelope headed back to where she was before the simulations, at the prime core's inner plating. If they were going to use warp power, she wanted to be there to heal the damage as it happened.

Scotty's voice rang through engineering, ordering all crew members to secure themselves. Penelope attached herself, and the engineers with her, to the railing on the catwalk ahead while the engines started to burst with the difficulty of warp-speed.

Main power depleted, the Bridge had switched to impulse. Some of the other engineers cursed as the warp core winked in and out, but Penelope held her tongue, focusing on the task at hand.

Finally, the ship broke free, so Penelope paused in her repairs and wiped her forehead with a cloth. "Good work, guys," she told the group. "Keep on here." She flipped open her PADD as she left the station, heading back down to the main floor of A Section.

"Waters to Mr. Scott. Are we in the clear?"

"I've asked the captain for some time on repairing the engines, but a distress call's been put out by the other ship," Scotty explained through the device.

Penelope paused before answering, "So what?"

"We've been ordered to turn around to answer the call."

"What?" Penelope responded in disbelief. "Why?"

"What do you mean why, Wrenchy? I told you, there's been a distress call. It's our duty and mission to help other life forms, wherever they may be," Scotty said. Penelope bit her cheek, thinking that there was now way _she_ would ever go back for those psychopaths. "The good news is they won't use warp to get there." Penelope again chose not to answer that, lest she lose control and tell Scotty where exactly he could shove his _good news_. "Anyways, I'm heading to the Transport Room. Apparently Jim and McCoy are beaming down to the other ship."

The Assistant Engineer closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Fine. Waters out."

By the time Scotty came back to Engineering, Penelope managed to start the necessary restorations in A Section. She was in the middle of ordering the small group of engineers in E Section back to C when Scotty approached her from behind.

Penelope turned around and nodded at the older engineer. "Thanks, Illa. And make sure to keep a few hands on those phasers, just in case the landing party runs into any trouble. Waters out."

"Has the landing party returned?" she asked.

Scotty had an expression on his face that Penelope couldn't place. "Yes."

"Okay," Penelope said, "What happened? Are they alright?"

The Chief Engineer shook his head. "Fine, fine. Everyone's alright." He said no more than that. There was no explanation, no report, nothing.

She was starting to get impatient, and the engineer had to fight the urge to start tapping her foot. "And?"

"And why did you lie to me?" Scotty said.

Penelope was taken aback. "Lie to you, sir?"

His voice was louder than Penelope thought it needed to be when he responded. "You told me you'd been let out of Sickbay, didn't you?"

"So?" the Assistant Chief wondered. She'd been needed on the deck – that much had become clear to the engineer throughout the unfolding crisis.

"I trust you to tell me the truth, no matter what," Scotty told her.

"It was just a small cut, sir!" Penelope retorted, motioning to her bandage covered hand. At that point, the wound hardly even bothered her.

The expression Scotty gave her was one of incredulity. "Wrenchy, you nearly cut through your hand with that laser."

"You're exaggerating," she protested.

"I'm really not. You could have lost that hand," Scotty said, "And I want you off this deck, now."

Penelope gaped at him. "For how long?" she questioned once she finally recovered from the surprise.

"Until I say otherwise," Scotty said. Hurt coursed through her that had nothing to do with her injury. She didn't understand, and she didn't think that was fair at all. Though she'd made numerous mistakes that day in running Engineering while Scotty had been away, the reprimand from her Chief had been about her cut?

She bet it was McCoy who had told him.

"Go to Sickbay and get that hand checked out. Do everything the doctor tells you, and then stay away from this deck," Scotty said.

"And that _is_ an order."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Once again, thanks for the views and reviews (systemman, you're so nice!), follows, and otherwise!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 6 – Déjà vu**

"Do you mind if I join you?"

The English accent pulled Penelope's head up from its spot resting on the table. At 0445, Penelope wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and maybe stay there for the next two weeks.

As there was literally no one else currently in the mess hall, and not wanting to be completely rude, Penelope grunted in approval before placing her head back down. Too early to eat, Penelope had only a large cup of coffee sitting in front of her. On the other hand, the woman in the science uniform had a bowl of something mushy-looking and looked entirely too cheerful.

"My name's Carol." Introductions for this science officer were completely unnecessary, since basically the entire ship knew who she was. "Are you alright?" Carol asked when Penelope lifted her head up again. Penelope probably looked like someone had just pulled her from inside a radiation chamber, at least going by the expression on the science officer's face. It took every bit of strength for Penelope to bite out a response.

"M' fine. Is Waters, by th'way," she told Carol.

The other woman smiled tightly, looking a bit like she regretted approaching her in the first place. "Well it's nice to meet you, Waters. Early shift?" Carol questioned politely. Penelope took a long gulp of scalding coffee before she answered.

"You bet."

Carol nodded in sympathy. "Just getting off mine, actually. Got stuck with a Gamma for a few days. It's going to be hell going back to normal after this."

The Assistant Chief burnt her tongue as she continued to try and drink as much coffee as possible in the shortest amount of time. "Bleh," Penelope said when she'd done, "I understand. This is my last day on this schedule." Then, Penelope added in a rare bit of verboseness, "I hate mornings."

"I'd prefer them to mine," Carol returned playfully, to which Penelope only shook her head.

"Agree to disagree?" Penelope checked the time on her PADD. "Speaking of, my shift's about to start. See you around."

Carol smiled, waving her off with her spoon. "See you, Waters." Penelope took her mug and placed it in the cleaning bins before heading out to the Transporter Room.

That's right. Penelope was scheduled for early shifts in the Transporter Room. And on that note, Penelope was not currently on speaking terms with her Chief Engineer.

When she'd been ordered from Engineering, Penelope had gone to Sickbay like Scotty said. She'd even put up with McCoy – whose hands were indeed as cold as the captain had said, though surprisingly gentle despite the string of insults flung her way as he worked. Something along the lines of: _you're an idiot, Engineering is full of goddamn idiots_ , and _I'm a doctor, not a tattletale, Waters_. Apparently, Penelope fell asleep midway through the treatment which came as no shock to anyone but herself.

Waking up in Sickbay with McCoy hanging over her was punishment enough without Scotty assigning her seven days of transporter duties. They were basically the most boring in Engineering, especially considering no one had needed to beam down or up anywhere in the last week.

And on top of that, he'd put her on morning shifts. Morning shifts! Like from 0500!

Penelope tried to explain again to Scotty, to get him to see her side, but he'd had none of it. There was no chance for her to even get a word in. So, in a fit of anger, she'd decided not to respond to him in anything but "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" since. To her delight, it seemed to infuriate him as much as he was doing to her.

She may also have reprogrammed Scotty's music processor from playing any bagpipe music, which no one in Engineering liked anyway. In fact, Penelope thought she had done the ship a real service, not at all fueled by personal motives.

Scotty, of course, found out about the changes, and had been furious, but as no one could prove who had done it...

At that point, even Keenser was refusing to be around either of them.

A huff of frustration left her as she finally reached the torturous Transporter Room. Inside, a tired looking Ensign manned the panel. Penelope came forward with a feeling of dread at the coming hours of boredom. "Wrenchy!" Ensign Greene exclaimed happily. "Thank goodness. I thought this would never end," the engineer groaned, clapping her on the shoulder.

Penelope sighed in response, grabbing the eye-set from Greene as the engineer left the room. Sensing no change in the monotony of Transporter duty, the Assistant Chief plopped down in the chair and swiveled slightly. The panel ahead of her was filled with two large screens, as during more trafficked hours there were two engineers assigned to man the machine. Buttons and switches familiar from technical manuals sat in front of her, but the transporter remained absolutely empty of travelers. Ready for another day of that familiar tedium, Penelope leaned forward, placing her head in her hand.

"This is the last one," she proclaimed to the empty room, spinning once more in her chair.

* * *

Her eyes drooped as the clock marched on. Just one more minute...thirty seconds...twenty...wouldn't this madness ever end?...five, four...

Another engineer entered to relieve her of duty, which she accepted with silence. Yes, that had been the last of her transporter shifts, but now she would have to go back to work with Scotty. And the situation with her Chief was as bad as it had been at the beginning of the week.

"Lieutenant Waters to the Bridge. Lieutenant Waters to the Bridge," an unfamiliar voice blared over the intercom as Penelope headed back to her quarters. Confused as to what the Bridge would need from her, Penelope nonetheless answered through the communications panel along the walls.

"Waters. Acknowledged."

Turning around, Penelope headed back to the elevator. "Bridge." The lights flashed by as the compartment lifted to the highest level. Tired but curious, Penelope leant against the circular wall of the elevator, hoping whatever they needed would be done fast.

When she stepped from the elevator, the engineer was struck by the stunning view. It wasn't often that Penelope got to see space in this way, with a giant window leading out into the dark vastness. She couldn't imagine working in this part of the ship everyday, having a perspective like that dampened by familiarity. "Wrenchy," Scotty called from her right, pulling her from the hypnotic sprinkling of distant stars. She gave him a questioning look, noticing an unfamiliar set of crew currently serving aboard the Bridge. The only person she even slightly recognized was one of the helmsman, though she didn't know his name.

"Yes, sir?" Penelope asked, overly polite in her tone.

Scotty's face twisted in hearing the same generic response for the umpteenth time. "There's somethin' wrong with the wiring under here. I cannae figure what it is," the Chief explained. "Mind taking a look?"

"No, sir." Penelope came forward, accepting gloves from Scotty and bending down underneath the communications panel. Well this was simple. Child's play, even. The only problem was that somehow one of the wires connecting to the power had become tangled up with the booster signaling device. It meant that communications to further distances had likely been filled with static. Any engineer could've spotted the issue. In fact, anybody with a brain could've done it.

So why hadn't Scotty?

Despite her annoyance, Penelope did the job in under eighty seconds. When she was done, she got back up and shoved the gloves back at the Chief with a _look_. It was now obvious to the both of them that Scotty had known exactly what the problem with the wiring was. _For the last time,_ Penelope thought, _she wasn't his assistant_. She was his Assistant Chief, and that meant: no comms from the bridge to fix something Scotty couldn't be bothered to do himself.

She would have relayed all this to the older engineer, if not for the fact she wasn't currently talking to him.

"Wrenchy, I – "

Penelope pretended not to hear the attempt at conversation and instead walked back to the elevator. As the doors slid shut, she caught the look on Scotty's face. He was...sad?

Well if he was, that was his own fault. Penelope had just done a nine hour shift in the Transport Room, under that man's orders, so she was not up for whatever games Scotty had been playing up there. She didn't feel bad at all. Nope, not one bit.

Though she really didn't feel guilty – really, she didn't – Penelope could admit to feeling angry. That was a more familiar emotion. It was her last day on transport duty, and instead of letting her rest after her shift, Scotty had called her all the way to the Bridge! To fix a wire! Breathing in puffs, Penelope decided to go visit one of the exercise rooms. Maybe that would help her compartmentalize, deal with herself.

* * *

There had been a few other crewmembers at the beginning of her stint in Exercise Room 3, but by now, all were long gone.

A forceful smack echoed in the air as Penelope struck the punching bag once again. She panted, waiting a moment before moving in. Another series of blows hit the exercise equipment. Sweat was pouring down her body, but she continued on, letting herself go into a frenzy. And she may have gone a bit overboard because in the next moment, her footwork got mixed up, and Penelope ended up face down on the mat.

"Ugh," the Assistant Chief groaned, just as the door to that particular exercise room slid open. She rolled over and came face to face with the captain of the ship. Great. With embarrassment coursing through her at having been caught unawares, the engineer accepted the man's hand in pulling up from the floor.

"Thanks," Penelope muttered, trying not to blush at her previous face-to-floor action.

The captain smiled easily. "No problem," he returned, giving her a once over. "Are you alright? I heard you and Scotty got into it on the Bridge..." Captain Kirk trailed off, seeing the look on her face. They'd hardly even spoken to each other, and now the crew was gossiping about them?

"It was nothing," she said, grabbing a towel from the side and wiping her face. It was then that she noticed the captain was wearing nothing but a pair of work out pants and a towel slung over his shoulders. Okay...don't stare at his abs. They were, admittedly, very nice. However, Penelope wasn't one for ogling her crewmates, as she saw it as disrespectful, so she lifted her gaze quite quickly.

"Right," he threw back, "You know, when me and Spock fight -"

"We aren't fighting."

The captain gave her a long look. "Sure. But -"

Penelope interrupted again. "Really. It's fine." No way was she taking advice on relationships with superior officers from the most notorious rebel captain in the Federation. It was ridiculous. Besides, Penelope knew from experience that arguing with a Vulcan was much different than arguing with a Scotty.

"Fine, fine. Point taken."

The engineer gestured to the door after an awkward period of silence. "I guess I'll be off then."

The captain held out a hand. "Don't have to. I'm not trying to kick you out or anything."

She smiled tightly in return. "I was just about to go anyways." With a quick wave, Penelope was out the door and headed into the elevator. At that point, she felt tired through and through, and she was beyond ready to take a nap in her quarters. Sniffing herself, the engineer realized she was also way overdue for a shower.

When the engineer arrived at her destination, she threw off her workout clothes and stepped into the small shower unit. The water was cold, just how she liked it, and Penelope managed to fight off her fatigue for a few extra minutes while she dried her hair. Going back into the main area, Penelope noticed a message dinging on the side of her computer screen. It was from Marie. Smiling, Penelope brought the pre-recorded video up onto the large screen opposite of her bed, and signaled for it to play.

As it loaded, Penelope shuffled through her drawers, searching for a pair of comfortable pants and a shirt.

"Hi, Penelope," three voices rang near simultaneously from the screen. A wider smile burst forward onto her face. Looking up, Penelope saw Marie sitting on a chair with Zach and Laura in their living room. Her eyes were drawn to the little boy, who had a small cast on his arm.

"It's been a few days since you left. We don't know when this will reach you, but we hope you're doing good. Right guys?" Marie prompted. Laura readily agreed, going off in a long rant about how much she missed her.

"...and when you'se come back, I'll let you see all my new pichurs. AND!" Laura exclaimed, raising her voice, "you can see my chichen costume and you can play the other aminals and we'll put on our own prod-duchun!" Zach had taken the opportunity to wriggle out of his mother's hold and run off somewhere off screen.

Marie rolled her eyes. "Yes, Laura. Anyway, I bet you'll have noticed the cast," the mother said knowingly. Penelope had paused at this point, choosing instead to sit on the bed. Her knee came up to her chest, held in place by her arm, and her fist made its way to cover her mouth absently.

"Zach and Laura were running around at the playground, the one in Fallsway, and Laura thought the two of them could try the monkey-bars. Well," Marie told her, "you can see where that went." Laura looked up at the screen dead on.

"Mommy yelled really loud!"

"It's fine, Laura. The whole thing was just one big disaster. Only happened the day after you were gone." Penelope wished she was there desperately. It must have been so scary for Marie, being there all by herself. "But don't worry, everything's fine now. The doctors said they can take off the cast in two weeks, so I think he'll live."

She found herself giving a small laugh at Marie's tone.

"What else?" Marie pondered while her daughter stuck her face right up to the camera. Laura put her tongue out and crossed her eyes, making Penelope laugh a little harder. "Oh, my boss is giving me better hours now! Ten to five most days, which is such a relief, let me tell you." _Lucky her_ , Penelope thought bitterly at the mention of bosses and shift changes.

A few more minutes passed with updates and mindless chatter from Laura, before they said goodbye.

"And stay safe, Penny. Don't do anything we wouldn't, right Laura?"

Laura nodded seriously. "That's right. No going on ta monkey-bars!"

All three of them laughed at that, and then the screen went black. Penelope brushed a hand up to her eyes, as they may or may not have gotten a little teary. It was hard being away from them, and even harder knowing that a message from Marie and Laura and Zach should have been going to someone else. Laying down on the red covers, Penelope curled up atop of the blankets. A hand reached up to clutch her pillow as her thoughts drifted to Tommy.

 _Why hadn't he sent her anything?_

 _Was it just late in getting to her, or had he not wanted to respond to any of her messages?_

 _Was he okay? Was he hungry? Did he forget the codes to the storage compartment?_

 _Should she have given him that bike? He was only fifteen, and not the best driver..._

 _Was he still showing up for class?_

Don't think about him right now. Tommy's fine. He knows how to handle himself.

As she let the worry drip from her mind, Penelope fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

"Waters! Hey, Waters!" a voice called from outside her door. Moaning, Penelope rolled over in her bed. Shivering, the engineer pulled herself from the warmth of sleep to unlock the room. Seeing the grumpy look on the Assistant Chief's face, George managed to appear a bit sheepish. Running a hand through his hair, George continued, "Sorry, were you sleeping?" Not waiting for an answer, George started again "Wanna grab some food?"

"Waa time s'it?" Penelope asked blearily.

"Dinnertime!" the man exclaimed, grabbing Penelope's arm and leading them both to the mess hall. She went along stumbling, her brain still catching up with her body. The recesses of the nap continued to cling to her even as she sat down where George directed. Placing her head down on the table, Penelope had a sense of déjà vu. Hadn't this happened before?

Along with George came two other engineers – Greene and Ur'ane, one security member, and a blueshirt. George handed her a plate of chicken and rice, which she accepted with grace. Or, as much as she could manage so soon after waking up. Couldn't he have grabbed coffee?

"Can I just say that the food here is shit?" Greene commented as she picked up a spoonful of some kind of soup and let it dribble back in her bowl.

The blueshirt nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it."

George laughed. "I think you're both just picking the wrong stuff." He offered a fork of his food, which Greene accepted. She chewed thoughtfully before shrugging.

"I think the replicators just like you," the security crewman said.

The blueshirt made a face, speaking in a condescending tone. "The replicators don't have feelings, Harry."

"Please," George interrupted, "just because they don't like you, Julia, doesn't mean they hate everyone."

How that small, playful argument turned into a food fight that spread the entire mess hall boggled Penelope's sleep addled mind, and while everyone else flung replicated food stuffs at one another, Penelope sat on in silence, too tired to do anything about it. All she knew was that when the first officer and the captain strode in to grab dinner, someone managed to throw Penelope's chicken and rice directly onto First Officer Spock's face. The captain was the only one who laughed, as the rest of the hall turned dead with silence.

It would have been more funny if it'd been someone else's dinner, Penelope decided instantly. After all, she had been kind of hungry. It also would have been more funny if she hadn't been ordered, along with everyone else there, to clean every bit of the food fight mess by hand.

"I'll get you back for this," Penelope hissed at George while they both picked up grains of rice scattering the ground. He glanced up and met her intense gaze before blushing and turning away.

"Yes, ma'am...did you see Spock's face, though?"

Penelope threw a handful of goopy soup-stuff at his face. He made a disgusted face before wiping it off. "Don't want to start that again," he whispered, sticking his tongue out. She laughed quietly in spite of her anger.

"Is something amusing, Lieutenant?" an emotionless voice intoned from above them. Looking up, Penelope met the Vulcan's gaze, and like George, blushed and looked away.

"No, sir."

Spock dipped his head and walked away, at which point George burst into a fit of giggles. They turned into coughs when the first officer whipped his head back around at the pair. Penelope smacked George's arm. "Ow," he muttered, rubbing the assaulted appendage. "You hit hard, Waters."

"Always," the Assistant Chief promised as the two went back to work.

When the mess hall crew was finally, mercifully dismissed, Penelope parted ways with George and his merry band of miscreants and found her way back to her quarters. Flopping back down onto her bed, Penelope stared up at the white, bare ceiling and thought of Johnny.

He would've loved that food fight. Like George, he often found himself involved in mischief and games, and he had loved dragging everyone else into them as well. That almost always meant Penelope, and together, they'd been responsible for the majority of crew pranks in the year before _Vengeance_ 's attack. Because that's who Johnny had been: a happy go-lucky guy with a killer sense of humor, who chased trouble like it was the only thing he knew.

Penelope had been lucky he'd toned it down after the Academy, but even when they'd been assigned to the _Enterprise_ , Johnny made sure to get a reputation as a prankster. There had been more joy in Penelope's life, in the five years she'd known Johnny, then in all the time before or after. He'd known how to calm her down when she was angry, lighten her up, make her take things less seriously. They almost never fought, not about anything real anyways.

He was her best friend.

Tears swam in her eyes as the engineer tried to will away the image of Johnny, laughing at another one of his own stupid jokes. Or the image of him, crying tears of joy, coming into the hospital waiting room to yell to the world: _It's a girl. I've got a baby girl!_ Or after Vulcan had been destroyed, when Johnny found her catatonic on the ground, and he coaxed her out of it. Or when he'd hung up pornographic holo-posters in Admiral Fitzpatrick's office, looking way too pleased with himself.

Or the sight of his body caved in, his face empty, his eyes wide, shirt torn, blood on his chest, mouth opened wide like he'd been screaming...

Was Johnny there? If he saw her now, he'd shake his head and tell her to get her ass out of bed. Tell her she should've participated in the food fight, considering she had to clean it up. Tell her to go super-weld Spock's seat to his ass, or find some way to annoy the captain.

He'd probably tell her to stop holding a grudge and apologize to Scotty, because the truth was that she'd been wrong. Maybe Scotty had been wrong, too, but that didn't really matter anymore. And she never knew when it'd be too late to say _I'm sorry_.

But because Johnny was dead, and he wasn't there, Penelope turned out the lights, got under the covers and went to sleep, trying her best not to dread the next day.

* * *

 _"Penelope!" Johnny called, waving a hand from up on a grassy hill. The sun was setting in the sky, and the colors mixing around were almost too pretty to be real. A slight wind rumbled from the east, and Penelope wrapped her arms around her waist to keep out the chill._ _Directly in front of her was an old farmer's fence, leveling at her heart, and it was the only obstacle from Johnny's gesturing figure. Penelope walked up and down the structure, trying to locate the gate, but she couldn't find any._

 _Frustrated by the situation, Penelope kicked forward. In an instant, Johnny was no longer far away. He was right there, on the other side of the wooden fence. He was wearing his engineering uniform, torn on the torso and chest. There was a bit of blood there as well, pooling at certain points on his body. He was too pale, but his eyes looked more alive than she'd ever seen them, burning with the heat of a flame._

 _"Johnny?" she asked. "Are you alright?" Her hand reached forward of its own will, trying to assure that the man in front of her was real. But Johnny flinched and stepped back. Penelope surged forward, her hands clutching the wood._

 _"I'm sorry, Johnny. I'm so, so sorry," Penelope pleaded, arms thrusting through the spaces between the panels._

 _Johnny's expression revealed a deep betrayal. "Why'd you leave me there, Penelope? You just left me there ... on the floor."_

 _Penelope shook her head. "I couldn't save you. You were already dead. We didn't have time." But Johnny wasn't listening, he was turning away. "You have to believe me! I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay, please."_

 _The dead engineer stopped dead in his tracks._

 _Hope filling her body, Penelope continued. "I swear, Johnny, I swear I would've stayed with you. I would've died for you -"_

 _"Then why didn't you? I thought we were friends?" Johnny asked, turning back around to face her._

 _Penelope shook her head. "We are friends, Johnny. I love you."_

 _"But I'm dead."_

 _"That doesn't even matter," Penelope argued._

 _Johnny smiled ruefully. "It does though."_

 _At that, Johnny walked away, up the hill and out of sight. The entire time, she screamed for him to turn around, to come back, to just not leave. Penelope's cries were ignored, and once he'd left her sight completely, the engineer collapsed on her knees against the aged wood._ _"Come back," Penelope sobbed softly, the air around her quieting, "Please, please, just come back."_

 _"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."_

* * *

 _Beep beep beep beep. Beep beep beep beep._

Penelope rubbed her head, calling out for the computer to shut off the alarm. She'd been dreaming about...Johnny? She couldn't really remember, but it left her with a bad feeling in her stomach.

"Computer," Penelope addressed. "Time?"

"10:33," the computer responded.

Groaning, Penelope picked herself up and began to get ready for her first normal shift as Assistant Chief in a week.

Like Carol had said, it was going to be hell going back.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks for the views and reviews, etc, etc!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 7 – Never Too Late**

 _"Stop worrying, I'm not a baby. And for the last time, I'm going to class."_

 _-Tommy_

That was all. After a month aboard the starship, all Penelope had received from the kid was two sentences! Two! Not a picture or a video or anything. Just a written message dinging on her PADD, come in with all the other new communications finally reaching the _Enterprise_.

What was a fifteen year old so busy with that they couldn't bother to take the time and send her something useful? And of course, the teenager's message had come in with as much real-life attitude as one could expect. Penelope could almost hear the words coming out of his mouth, a sneer upon his face. It made her want to punch something. Someone maybe.

Possibly Scotty, as _their_ relationship was nowhere near where it had been three weeks ago.

When she'd come back to her normal duties, Penelope made no effort to reconcile with the Chief Engineering Officer, and in return, he had done the same. Mostly, they kept out of each others way beyond the necessary interaction required by their jobs. A few times, Penelope swore Scotty was on the verge of apologizing, but then he'd just scowl and go order her to do something tedious.

She certainly wasn't going to be the first one to admit wrongdoing.

And at that point, everyone in Engineering, possibly the entire ship, knew of the strain between the Assistant and the Chief. It was obvious in the way the section heads talked, always going to one or the other, but never addressing them both. In the way they never ate meals together, or in how Scotty was heard on the intercom, drunk and telling old Scottish folktales in the middle of the night. He did that all the time, true, but the stories had gotten more grim and bloody.

It could also be seen in how Keenser spent most of his time hiding from them both, as either were just as likely to unload their anger at him. Or in how Penelope mostly hung around in E Section, the furthest part of the deck from Scotty's office.

"Well if you're going to sneak away back here, you might as well pull your own weight," Illa had told her when Penelope started showing up more and more in E Section. Penelope had replied a bit stiffly.

"Of course."

That was why, three weeks after what most of the crew called " _The Bullshit Maneuver_ " and what Penelope privately called " _The Bullshit Abuse of Engines_ ", Penelope and Illa worked side by side underneath one of the phaser power banks.

"You know," Illa began, "you could just say you were sorry." Penelope shone the light where Illa's hands worked with proficiency.

Snorting, Penelope shifted. "We're not talking about this."

Illa never paused in her movements, still managing turning her head to look over at the Assistant Chief. "Well can you two just make up already? I'm sick of coming up with stuff for you to do. Do you even know anything about weapons systems?" _Not beyond the basics_ , Penelope though, _but that wasn't really the point._

"Keep your eyes up there, Lieutenant," Penelope ordered, not liking the disapproving posture of the other woman. How she managed it when both were laying horizontal under a hunk of metal was beyond Penelope.

Illa laughed but followed the Assistant Chief's instructions. "Don't worry. I could do this with my eyes closed."

"I'd rather you didn't."

If Penelope could see Illa's face right then, she'd probably have observed a dramatic roll of the eyes. "Alright, alright. Could you grab that for me?" Illa asked, motioning towards the cube-shaped part to her left. Penelope shifted the small light to her other hand, reaching up to grab the apparatus.

"Thanks," Illa said. "And just so you know, I heard Scotty say to the captain that he wished that you would just let the whole thing go."

"How'd you hear that?" Penelope asked, curiosity overriding her annoyance. _She_ should let it go?

"I had to tell Scotty about the renovation project over in the loading dock. Came up to him while he and the cap'n were talking. I may have waited about a bit when I heard your name. Anyways – hey, you know, we could really use your help with that reno," Illa prompted.

Penelope felt her own eyes roll. "Yeah, yeah. A month out, and you weapons people already want to arm every part of the ship."

"It's for security," Illa defended, giving the updated wiring one last flourish before going in with a welder. "We just want to install a new alarm system there. There's a new one come out, totally 'Fleet-approved, just after we left orbit."

"You done?" Penelope asked, nodding her head up to both their hands.

"Yeah. I'm ready to get out from under this baby," Illa said, slapping to her right. Together, the two engineers lifted the removed panel. With her sonic-wrench in her right hand, Penelope managed to reattach the large white piece. "Freedom!" Illa called as they both swung out from their low positions.

Penelope stood up first, offering a hand down to Illa. She accepted it with a firm grip, pulling up from the roller seat. "Damn, it was boiling under there!" the E Section Head exclaimed, wiping her forehead.

"Yeah," the other engineer agreed, grabbing the two rollers to put them away. Illa followed her, and when they reached the storage closet, an Ensign arrived with a report for each of them to sign.

While Penelope was still looking hers over, Illa started again. "It'll be fun..."

"What will?" the Assistant Chief asked distractedly.

"The loading dock updates!"

"Oh," Penelope said, handing the report off with a _thank you_ , " right, sure."

With a winning smile, Illa gave a quick and unexpected hug to the Assistant Chief. Blinking, Penelope looked at the other woman with surprise. "Yes," she cheered. "I'll tell my crew. They're going to be so excited!"

"Not likely!" a voice called from above on the catwalk. Some other engineers laughed from the same place, and Illa started threatening them all with a transfer to Maintenance shifts. Penelope shook her head at their antics, choosing not to involve herself. Until one of the other engineers did it for her. "Hey, Wrenchy, you wouldn't let her do that to us, right?" the original man called out.

"I might," Penelope responded in a deadpan.

"Aww, come on," another of the group groaned, "Don't take her side. She's crazy."

Illa started intimidatingly climbing up the stairs at that. "Sorry, didn't quite catch that! Did I hear ya'll say you were getting back to work?"

The group quickly dispersed at her movements, their laughs echoing out in the large section. "Those guys are all trouble," Illa said, coming back down to where Penelope leant against the storage closet.

"I don't doubt it," the Assistant Chief replied.

Illa motioned her over to the nearest computer dock and started to show Penelope the details of the new security system, LLGF 4000. They went through a few diagrams, and Illa even went so far as to write up a summary of the technical manual beforehand. Penelope was actually impressed. "So you see, it's really a -"

"Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt," a familiar call came from the engineers' left. Carol Marcus waited patiently with a thin, clear tablet under one arm. "I'm here for the -"

Illa interrupted. "The daily weapons check. I know, I know. Don't you hate that thing?"

Carol smiled tightly. "It is a bit...repetitive," the specialist admitted.

"Don't have to tell me twice," the E Section Head joked. "You can go ahead and start. I'll be over in a sec." Carol nodded and walked past them over behind one of the large weapons stations.

"Go on," Penelope prompted, "We can finish this later."

Illa gave her the sternest look she could manage, which fell short of any expectation. "We better. Oh and Wrenchy," Illa teased, using the dreaded nickname, "Go and apologize. No one likes a grumpy Scott." Running off, Illa didn't even give Penelope a chance to respond.

With a dramatic sigh that no one heard, Penelope began to make her way back to A Section, the unofficial home of one M. Scott. The man practically lived there; in fact, Penelope wondered if he ever even slept in his own quarters. Most of the time, Scotty could be found fallen asleep at his desk, a stylist limply in one hand as he snored. Trying to push down any lingering affection, Penelope entered A Section with a more subdued sigh. Rome caught sight of her, and he wisely chose to walk in the opposite direction. As A Section Head, Rome worked almost as closely with Scotty as she did, and as such, stuck to the man like glue since the incident between them. As did all his engineers, if they happened to notice her. _Cowards. Loyal cowards, but cowards nonetheless._

Just as Penelope was about to start doing check-ups on the warp core, Scotty exited his office and came over to her.

"I'm beaming down with the landing party," Scotty told her. The _Enterprise_ was currently in orbit around some recently discovered planet, the likes of which supposedly had no intelligent life. _Yeah, hadn't they all heard that before?_ Everyone knew Scotty loved going planet-side with the captain and McCoy, so Penelope wasn't surprised at the announcement.

"Yes, sir."

"You'll take over for me while I'm gone."

"Yes, sir."

"And you'll comm me if you need anything?"

"Yes, sir."

Scotty gave her a long searching look, which she returned with a blank expression. "Fine," he muttered, going off in the direction of the nearest elevator. She could hear him answer his PADD as he left. "Scott here. On my way to Transport."

After Scotty was out of sight, Penelope strode into the man's office. If she'd thought it had been a mess before, then this was like a natural disaster had swung through the room. Clothes hung from cabinets, blueprints were hanging off any and all surfaces, drained alcohol bottles from every Federation planet littered the floor.

Those cups Penelope had smashed still stained the ground.

Frowning at that, the Assistant Chief left the messy office. "Waters to Maintenance."

"Lovett here, ma'am."

"Do you mind sending down a couple guys to clean out Mr. Scott's office? It's in Engineering Deck 1, A Section."

"Sure, sure. How many do you need?"

Penelope snuck a head back in the room. "I'd say it's at least a two man job."

"At least? What the hell's Scotty growing in there?"

The Assistant Chief tried not to respond with _Don't you mean, what's he distilling in there?_

"I know, Lovett. Can you spare them?"

"Sure, sure. I'll send 'em down."

"Thanks. Waters out."

Penelope managed to track down Rome, as only once she assured him of Scotty's absence would he talk to her. After a long discussion on the warp core, which somehow veered off into a mostly one-sided argument about a new innovation on the cooling system of dilithium crystals, Penelope was once again confronted about Scotty.

"You know, Wrenchy, if you'd just -"

The Assistant Chief cut off the man. "Really not talking about that right now, Rome."

"I just thought..." He was cut off with a glare. Holding up his hands in appeasement, Rome backed away towards one of the many computer docks. Nodding, Penelope went to check in on B Section. That's what Scotty would do. He was a pretty obsessive CEO, even by Penelope's standards. Though Penelope came off as the more intense one, Scotty always demanded perfection, wherever and whenever he could get it. In truth, the Assistant Chief was much more the _just get it done_ type. It had probably confused the Engineering crew at first, but most of them now knew how to conduct themselves around the different leaders.

Penelope groaned at the thought of having to meet Yomai. It wasn't that she didn't like the Commander, it was just that she found him too uptight. Because Penelope was so prone to anger, she usually surrounded herself with more easy-going people. They were less likely to get offended if she erupted at them, and there was a much greater chance that they'd forgive her if she said anything stupid.

Yomai, on the other hand, was just so … not easy-going.

"Yomai, how's B?" the Assistant Chief began easily, catching sight of the engineer.

* * *

"Rome, you're in charge," Penelope ordered as the rest of the engineer's scattered around waved goodbye to her. The Assistant CEO stuck her head back into Scotty's office, which was coming along nicely. "Good work," she told the two maintenance crew, steadily making their way through the muck. And if they found anything in there that would turn the gossip mills, it only served Scotty right for making an absolute mess of the place.

They both smiled silently at Penelope, so she slapped the side of the door twice before moving out towards the elevator. It had been much more relaxing without Scotty around, Penelope would admit guiltily. Without the tension between Scotty and her, work had moved much more efficiently throughout Engineering. The air was just lighter, free from argument or strange silences. Or maybe it was just Penelope.

Either way, Penelope felt pretty good as she made her way to the nearest mess hall. When inside, she strolled over to one of the replicators and ordered a cup of coffee. While she waited, two lieutenants approached from beside. They were talking about the landing party, Penelope realized with a start.

"And apparently, the captain had an allergic reaction to some plant or something, made him go crazy," the man started, crossing his yellow-covered arms as he waited for his food. The redshirt beside him giggled, shaking her head.

"I can't imagine dealing with all those allergies," she said, "How does he manage diplomatic missions? What with all the different foods they serve..."

The yellowshirt smiled. "Maybe that's why he's always been so bad at them?"

"I think it's more because he sleeps with anybody in those parties that gives him a passing glance," the redshirt countered jokingly, and the both of them laughed. The coffee finally finished, and Penelope grabbed it by the handle. She blew on the hot liquid as she strode away from the pair, but not before she heard something that stopped her in an instant.

The yellowshirt had dropped his voice to a somber tone, "I'm just sorry to hear about Scotty." Penelope was already near the door, and she didn't want to go back to ask the man about what he'd said. After all, Scotty was probably fine, right? He knew how to take care of himself, of course. Except did he? He could barely clean up after himself, let alone valiantly defend anyone against attack.

There'd been no intelligent life, so surely nothing could have gone wrong. But the captain had an allergic reaction to something. Could Scotty have caught it? No, of course he couldn't have. People don't catch other people's allergies. Penelope began to worry her lip between her teeth as she walked down the hall.

Well she wasn't a doctor, what did she know? What if Scotty had been left behind on accident for a little while? After all, the tone of those two crew wasn't really that bad. If something serious had happened, they would've sounded more upset. But what if they didn't like Scotty? No, everyone like Scotty. Scotty was great, and he could fix anything, and he liked drinking with people...

Had he gone down there drunk? Had he accidentally stunned himself, or tripped, or fallen down a hill... He could be so useless at times, couldn't he? Liked to complain a lot too. What if McCoy had wanted to be the one whining on the trip, and because Scotty had interrupted him, McCoy had sabotaged his...tool belt or something and killed him with his doctor skills?

Penelope should definitely comm Scotty, just to make sure he was fine. But she couldn't, because they weren't talking. Well, she wasn't talking to him. Same thing. He had said to comm him if something went wrong, so maybe she could just ask him something engineering-related. Yeah, that's what she'd do. Putting down her cup of coffee on the ground beside her boots, Penelope got out her PADD and dialed the Chief Engineer.

"Waters to Scott." Penelope waited for a response, stopping and leaning against the wall just beside the elevator. A few seconds passed without any answer. She waited another thirty seconds before repeating. "Waters to Scott, please respond." No response again. Penelope tried her hardest not to panic. "Waters to Scott. Waters to Scott. Waters to Scott."

A cracking sound lit up Penelope's eyes like Christmas lights. Then, the captain's voice came through Scotty's PADD, and the relief dimmed back into anxiety. "Lieutenant, you may want to come to Sickbay. Scotty's been-" But Penelope had already shut the PADD and ran into the elevator. Was she hyperventilating? The Assistant Chief didn't know because her brain wasn't working because Scotty was in Sickbay and she hadn't even said _sorry –_

The engineer pushed past anyone that stood in the way of her and that Sickbay, causing a few _hey_ 's and _watch it_ 's before she finally arrived.

Why was Scotty lying in that biobed? Why? Why? Why...was he breathing? Was he okay? Was he alive? What happened to him? Did he fall? Did McCoy try to kill him?

"No I did not try to kill – why would you even think that?" The doctor asked in his irritating southern drawl. Had Penelope been speaking? She hadn't realized that, but everything was wrong because Scotty wasn't ever supposed to end up in a biobed.

Penelope just stared at McCoy. She just stared and maybe didn't blink. "Can you stop doing that?" the doctor said again. "And Scotty is going to be just fine, trust me." Why would she trust him? Penelope hardly knew the CMO.

"Where's the captain?" the Assistant Chief finally said. Penelope wasn't exactly sure why she wanted to see the captain, but she did. Her body was kind of moving on autopilot at that point, forming words without really thinking beforehand.

McCoy called out, "Jim! Waters is having a damn breakdown in my Sickbay, and it's all your fault!" And then the captain came out of an office from the side, probably McCoy's. Why did everyone have an office but her?

But that's when Penelope felt it: the all-consuming, burning, passionate rage. It burst forth from her gut, leaving her almost growling when the captain approached.

"You!" the Assistant Chief spat. "What the _fuck_ did you do to Scotty?"

The captain's eyebrows swung high up on his forehead as he responded. "I didn't do anything to Scotty, Lieutenant. He just had a run-in with a bit of violent vegetation." Was he trying to be funny? Penelope really wasn't in the mood for funny.

"Are you trying to tell me," Penelope stated lowly, stepping forward, "that a _bush_ put Scotty in a biobed?"

Kirk held up his hands, although the CMO beside him started to look a bit worried. _And he should be._ Because Penelope was _pissed_."Listen, Wrenchy -"

" _Don't call me that_!"

"Right, well -"

"What do you even need an engineer for on these stupid, goddamn landing parties?!" Penelope screamed, taking another step forward. "Do you even know how _idiotic_ it is to bring your Chief Engineer with you?"

"Scotty likes coming along -"

"I. Don't. Care. What Scotty likes," Penelope hissed, her feet taking her toe to toe with Kirk. "You're going to get him killed one of these days."

Kirk shook his head, not backing down from her threatening tone and posturing. "Scotty's a grown -"

"Scotty," Penelope said, "means _nothing_ to you, does he?"

That seemed to break through the cool, nonchalant attitude of the man in front of her. "Don't ever say that to me." Finally, Penelope mentally grinned. This was what she wanted: a fight.

"Why?" Penelope motioned towards the engineer's prone body, her eyes baring into Kirk's. "Clearly I'm not wrong, am I? Or he wouldn't be here."

"You don't know anything, Lieutenant."

"I think I do."

"Well you're wrong."

"I'm not."

"Scotty is my _friend_." There was desperation in Kirk's blue eyes. Yes.

"And yet, here we are. You almost killed him, but it's just another day in the life for James Kirk, isn't it?"

Kirk shook his head, the frustration at her finally breaking him. "You know what, Waters? I think you're just mad because Scotty actually cares enough to go out of his comfort zone and try something. Do you think I'm right?"

"What are you talking about?"

"All you're here for is a get out of jail free card, yeah?"

"Shut up," Penelope hissed, not liking where the conversation was going.

Kirk gave a short laugh, a mean sound. "What would you care about exploring? About adventure? This place, it's just another stepping stone for you, an ex-con trying to slither your way out of punishment -"

"Shut up, I said."

"Too scared to face the consequence of your actions, so instead you _leech_ onto anyone that shows you an ounce of humanity. You don't deserve _one bit_ of the regard Scotty has for you. Hell, he talks about you like you're his own daughter, but he doesn't know."

"If you don't close your fucking mouth, I swear I'll do it for you," she whispered dangerously.

"Does he? Does he know you beat a man almost to death just because he _looked_ at you wrong? Is that what you wanna do to me now?"

Somewhere in the distance, McCoy was talking. "Jim, maybe you should both just calm down." But Penelope could hardly hear the man because of the ringing in her ears and the blood rushing through her body.

"I bet you want to kill me right now, don't you? Want to wrap your hands around my throat? Punch me? Go ahead," Kirk invited, coming even closer to her, if such a thing was possible. "But just remember that the _moment_ you try, I can have you off this ship and in a penal colony faster than you could cause any serious damage."

Penelope clenched and un-clenched her fists, the need to retaliate pushing her nose-to-nose with Kirk. He was right. So right about everything, and it made her so...just so...

The engineer closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath, then opened them back up, turned to the side abruptly, and started slamming her fist into the wall. Over and over, nobody stopping her. The harsh metal didn't yield to her force, but Penelope continued anyway. There was pain, but that was better than what she'd been feeling. Rather break her fingers on the wall than prove Kirk right on his face.

* * *

 _Penelope was seventeen, a runaway, and completely broke._

 _When she'd returned to Earth the year previous, the first thing she'd done was go back to the apartment where her whole world had ended. It was sold to some other family, the past of its walls a well-kept secret, surely. Penelope hadn't thought anyone would buy the place, not after what her mother had done inside of it. You can give humans all the technology and science in the galaxy, but superstitions would always trump logic._

 _She trespassed, broke in while the family was away, and cried herself to sleep next to the bathtub her mother had killed herself in._

 _The next day, she was gone. Penelope refused to stay in those halfway houses and shelters that the United Earth was so proud of, providing for all of its people without discrimination. A lie, Penelope had thought, what a sham. What had that system done for her mother? Where had been the gracious helping hand of that community while her mother hid away inside that apartment, day after day? Where had the justice been when those doctors assured Penelope that Ms. Waters needed that hospital? The one where they'd pumped her so full of drugs she'd hardly recognized her own daughter? Or afterwards when she'd stare at the walls without really seeing them, muttering to herself even worse than before?_

 _Penelope wasn't going to accept help from anybody. She could make it on her own._

 _So, it had been an ordinary day for the future engineer. She'd been sitting on a bench in the park. It was a bit rainy, so there weren't many people around. Just a few other teenagers, milling around, likely getting into something they shouldn't. There was an older man just down the way, feeding the birds. He did that most days, Penelope knew. Penelope found most people were creatures of habit, no matter what they thought of themselves._

 _Then_ he _had come up the path, a young girl in hand. It might have been his daughter or niece or someone he was looking after. Penelope hadn't known, but the sight of them caused her discomfort. She couldn't pinpoint the source of the feeling, but it stayed within her nonetheless._

 _It was clear to Penelope that both the man and the girl were upset. She had tears rolling down her face, and his expression was downright furious. It could have been anything. At the time, Penelope chalked it up to just a normal argument between a child and parent. How often had she observed the same thing, day after day, staying in the park. The kid wanted to stay, the parent wanted to leave. The parent always won, and the child always had a fit._

 _But never before had Penelope seen a parent hit their child._

 _The moment he'd done it, Penelope had been out of her seat like someone had lit a fire under it. The man had slapped the girl across the face so hard Penelope had flinched. She was just a baby, Penelope had thought. Why would anyone hurt a baby? He hit her one more time, and Penelope looked around. Wasn't anyone going to do something? But either no one had seen, or no one had cared, so Penelope decided she wasn't going to wait for someone else that time._

 _She strolled up to the pair before she could even think. They were in the parking lot by the time she reached them, with the man strapping the silently crying child into a seat._

 _"Can I help you?" he'd asked in French. She was just sort of standing there, unsure of what to do. At the time, Penelope had been so angry at the world. She thought she'd been owed more than she'd been given. That life had handed her a bad hand, and that the entirety of her seventeen years comprised only the worst of what the dealer could have offered her._

 _But neither of her parents had ever hit her like that man had just hit the little girl._

 _"I-I," Penelope stuttered, her hands shaking. She wanted to stand up for that girl, to make sure she knew that what happened wasn't right. But Penelope was only seventeen years old, and if any of her confidence had survived the last two years, it was sorely shaken at best._

 _The man sneered down at her. "Beat it, kid. Can't you see I'm busy?"_

 _But if there was anything that could've infuriated Penelope more, it was being called a kid. With that one sentence, the man may well have sealed his fate. "Excuse me," Penelope replied, still with a shake in her voice, "But you can't do that."_

 _"Do what?"_

 _Penelope clenched her fists at his impatient expression. "You can't just hit somebody like that!" the teenager accused, waving her hand forward to point to the girl._

 _"Didn't anybody ever tell you to mind your own business, kid? I said beat it."_

 _Eyes wide, Penelope clenched her jaw in fury before responding. "I'm not a kid. And I'm glad I'm not, otherwise you'd probably smack me too!" The man rolled his eyes, and shut the door to the flying light-vehicle. He shoved past Penelope, going around to the other side. "Hey! Are you listening to me? I said, you can't just do that to her!"_

 _"I'm her father. I can do whatever the hell I like to her," the man said. "And I'm not going to tell you again to leave me alone." He tried opening the door to his car, but Penelope took her hand and slammed it shut._

 _"I bet you wouldn't be so cocky if you knew I was going to report this," Penelope promised, the threat clear in her voice._

 _The man just laughed at her. "You think anyone's going to believe you? Just look at yourself. What's a street rat's word against mine? Get real, kid." Penelope knew she shouldn't. She knew that hurting people was wrong, that violence against another was the worst crime anyone on the United Earth could commit. But she also couldn't stand by and watch horrible things happen to vulnerable people. She'd watched as her mother slowly destroyed herself because of how other people walked over her on their way to better things._

 _No more._

 _Penelope tried to stop herself after the first punch. She really, truly had. But it was like all the anger and hate that had been building up inside her let itself out, like a storm that tore away at a dam and let the river flow free from restraint._

 _Adrenaline and hate won out against the superior weight of the man, and by the time someone had pulled Penelope off of him, the girl in the car was screaming and he wasn't even breathing._

* * *

It was Keenser who stopped her from completely ruining both hands. The Chief Medical Officer and Captain Kirk had just stood to the side, too stunned to react as Penelope continued to attack the wall. If there were nurses or other doctors around, then they hadn't moved in to do anything either.

When her right hand became too mangled and bruised to continue, the engineer switched arms and began anew.

But when Keenser's scaly green palm reached up and placed itself on her elbow, Penelope halted. She looked down, meeting the unwavering black gaze. Ever so slowly, the Assistant Chief lowered her arm and relaxed her shoulders. Instead, her body moved forward, her heated forehead resting against the cool metal above where crimson blood splattered in a clear pattern. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. Out.

Penelope didn't know what to do. She'd started an argument with the captain, insulted him, caused him to threaten her with imprisonment. And all for what? For Scotty? Scotty loved the captain, and he never would've wanted Penelope to pick a fight with the other man.

There really was nothing to do except turn around and face the room. But Penelope couldn't. She was beyond mortified, totally humiliated, and utterly ashamed by what had happened. And now they were all just standing there, waiting for her to act. She had lost nearly all semblance of control, her only saving grace being that she hadn't actually laid hands on the captain.

Keenser continued to wait, his hand remaining. Penelope took a few more calming breaths before working up the courage to move.

As expected, the two men were waiting stock-still a few feet away. There were two nurses off to the side, behind Scotty's biobed. Penelope could feel how hot her face was, but at least she wasn't crying. Goodness knows she wanted to, but that was at least one feeling she could contain for now.

"I," Penelope started, "I am..." She couldn't finish the statement. Not to them. Not when she never even said it to Scotty. Certainly not to the captain, because she may have started it, but he most definitely had ended it. He'd gone in for the jugular, and he had hit right on target.

It made Penelope feel slightly better when the captain ran a hand over the back of his neck, apparently feeling foolish as well. "I shouldn't have said what I said," the captain admitted. "I'd had a bad reaction to the same plant that attacked Scotty. Must've made me a little irritable."

Penelope nodded slightly. "I shouldn't have said Scotty meant nothing to you. I know that's not true." Her voice was small when she'd replied, but Penelope thought if she tried to project, those unwanted tears might spring up.

The tension in the air was broken by the ever-irritable doctor. "Well I for one think you're both goddamn idiots with heads so far up your own asses, you -"

"We get it, Bones," the captain interrupted with a tired glance.

"Yeah, well," the doctor argued, "Never quite seems to sink in with your type. Now, Waters, get your ass over here so I can fix whatever the hell you just did to your damn hands!"

Too much in a daze, Penelope followed the doctors orders without complaint. The doctor and the engineer sat on stools beside Scotty, as he decided to let her be free from a biobed. The captain was perched in a chair on the opposite side, while Keenser stood next to the captain, refusing any seat. The other engineer looked worried, but Penelope still wasn't quite sure what to do. So she just let the doctor fix her hands, her thoughts drift.

"I'm a doctor, dammit," McCoy muttered to no one in particular as he wrapped her left hand in a self-cooling bandage.

"I thought you were a holomarketer," Kirk replied absently, still sounding absolutely genuine. Bones took the time to shoot the other man a pointed glare before turning his attention back to her hands.

"Nurse! Can you grab me another one of these?" McCoy yelled, shaking Penelope's left hand up at said nurse. The woman hurried off, but Penelope just sat there glumly. "Did you wanna talk about what happened between you and the wall?" McCoy asked lightly, inspecting her right one.

Penelope shook her head, turning it to look down at Scotty. He was just lying there, his face pale, which should definitely be impossible with how white the engineer normally looked. Johnny had looked that pale when...

She turned her head away from the sight, and instead rested her gaze on the still bloody wall. What if she'd hit Kirk? In that one instance, Penelope had almost lost everything. The engineer wouldn't have been able to live with herself, not after doing something like that. She'd have ended up like her mother, in a bathtub somewhere, waiting to be found by some rehabilitation workers or prison guards.

The thought caused her to flinch, but the doctor seemed to think it was his fault, so his grip gentled. Keenser showed signs of distress now noticeable to Penelope, something she wouldn't have seen a year ago. She wanted to open her mouth, to tell him everything was going to be okay, but any semblance of strength had left Penelope the moment Kirk had invited her to hit him. Just asked, like it meant nothing to her. Like she took hurting others lightly.

It made her feel like dirt. It wasn't his fault, because everyone says things sometimes that cut another a little more than they let on, but that was a particularly sore spot for the engineer, and no one liked having their dirty laundry hung out for the world to see.

Scotty's eyes flickered open and shut. Penelope twisted her head back to her Chief, wanting desperately for him to wake. It had felt like an eternity since she'd first entered Sickbay, and now all Penelope wanted to do was go back to the beginning of the day and ask for Scotty just to sit that one trip out.

McCoy was up from his spot and running checks over Scotty's prone form the moment he woke.

"Jim?" Scotty mumbled weakly, his blue-grey eyes searching the room and landing on the captain.

Kirk smirked as he answered. "How're you feeling, Scotty?"

"Like a...I don't even know right now. Can ya ask me later, lad?"

The captain laughed at that, patting the Chief Engineer on the shoulder. "Sure." The engineer's gaze drifted to Keenser.

"What're you doing here, ya green bastard?" Scotty said without any hint of harshness. Keenser came forward and placed a hand on Scotty's blanket covered leg. Penelope watched as Scotty sank under the touch, relaxing into the biobed and sharing a meaningful look with the alien engineer.

Then he moved and shifted to Penelope with surprise. His eyes ran over her and landed on her mangled, but mostly wrapped fists. "Are you alright?" Penelope let out a choked laugh at his question, not quite believing how he could worry about her after whatever had happened to him.

The problem was she was having trouble forming words at the moment, so she couldn't quite express how she felt seeing him awake. He handled it though because he was Scotty, and Scotty was the best.

"I think I nearly died," Scotty declared openly to the room, but his eyes were fixed on Penelope. If she could move her hands, they'd be shut tight into balls with anxiety at the statement. "Does that mean we can be done fighting?" Penelope nodded a touch frantically, her eyes tearing up with relief. "Good, cause I'll tell ya lass. I'm just about over that _yessir_ and _nosir_ business you've been throwin' at me! God sakes, woman, it was one week of Transporter Room, not the rack!"

Taking a cue from Keenser, Penelope just blinked pointedly at Scotty's comment. He had made her wake up early, which he didn't even mention. Penelope hated waking up early.

"Oh, look. My crew all getting along again," Kirk interrupted cheerfully. "Isn't it a sight, Bones?"

The man in question rolled his eyes, sitting back down to finish with Penelope's hands. "It's something, that's for damn sure."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 8 – Shore Leave**

When Penelope had been a little girl, her father had taken her to a starbase. It had been a trip offworld, just the two of them, and it had taken nearly a year of saving and cutting back for the entire family. Her father had wanted to show her the stars up close, to let her see beyond the little apartment in the French Quarter.

Penelope had loved it. She loved the shuttle, constantly questioning her father on how it ran, what powered it, and how could it fly so high? She loved seeing all the different kinds of people, from all different planets, converging in one place. She loved the colors of the Starfleet uniforms, although her father always sneered at them when an officer happened to pass by. She loved the blackness and the bits of light, just outside of reach. She loved the importance of it, and she loved how happy it made her father to be there.

At almost twenty-seven years old, Penelope decided starbases weren't all they were cracked up to be.

It was the first official shore leave for the crew of the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ , and at two and half months in, everyone on board agreed it was time for a break. Large groups of crewmembers beamed down to Starbase 34, everyone taking their turn. Scotty and Keenser had gone ahead, once Penelope had forced Scotty out of Engineering. Somehow, the Chief thought he'd convince her he'd just stay inside and read technical manuals. Like Penelope would give up the chance to witness Scotty make a drunken fool of himself somewhere new.

So when Penelope found herself in a group among George and Illa, she certainly wasn't surprised to see a few of the science officers apparently "pre-gaming" for the night ahead. As they drank themselves stupid, Illa rolled her eyes dramatically. "Do you think they'll actually make it to one of the bars?" the E Section Head asked loudly enough for the blueshirts to hear. Unfortunately, they were too busy chanting some stupid rhyme as one of them chugged a suspicious looking bottle, so there was no response.

George answered anyways. "Doubt it. Fairaway's such a lightweight," he motioned to the blueshirt already stumbling as he approached the transporter. Their group shifted up a spot as the science officers shoved themselves into the designated spots.

"En'gize," Fairaway slurred before all their particles were moved down.

Penelope, George, Illa, Fly, and two security crew that George and Fly were familiar with were next up to beam down to the starbase. They all took their places with much less fumbling than the group before, and Penelope called out the signal for their group.

"Ugh, I always hate doing that," Fly muttered, rubbing his arms and legs as though assuring himself that they were still there. Illa disagreed, but her PADD dinged before she could start teasing the young Ensign fully.

Promising to catch up with them later, Illa ran off in the direction the science officers had taken as their group beamed down. Penelope watched her retreating form with curiosity, and George rubbed his hands together in anticipation. "Who's ready for some good old-fashioned tom-foolery?" he asked in a fake southern accent.

"Fuck off," Yalmark, one of the security officers, replied in a deadpan. His voice was distinctively an Alabaman drawl. George only chuckled in response.

As the group ambled their way over to one of the many places selling alcohol aboard Starbase 34, Penelope wondered how George seemed to know so many people aboard the starship. She always observed him with different people, making friends with just about everyone. _A true mystery_ , Penelope considered, _since he was so utterly annoying._

The language of the music in the bar was alien, but the guitar solos were all human. Penelope offered to grab shots, if the rest of them could secure seating in such a crowded setting. There were people from all over the Federation packed into the establishment, making for a colorful looking crowd. And a rather rowdy one at that, Penelope decided upon entering the lineup to get to the actual counter.

While waiting to get the drinks, two men, neither in Starfleet uniforms, began to argue a few paces away from Penelope. She tuned them out quickly enough, preferring the music to their inane conversation. Even when the fighting turned physical, the Assistant Chief listened dutifully to the changing station over the speakers. However, once Penelope got to the front of the line, one of the men punched the other so hard that the reverb flung him back right into the engineer. In an instant, Penelope had shoved the guy off of her, only slightly irritated at having been accosted.

"Hey, what's your problem?" the man had asked, though the slurring from his words made his Standard almost impossible to understand. Ignoring the question, Penelope dutifully ordered the round of drinks for her group. The bartender nodded, but looked on warily at the pair. "Did you not hear me? I asked what your problem was lady..."

While the bartender poured the drinks, watching them both closely, Penelope chose to reply. "Why don't you go bother someone else?" she questioned. It was clear the man wanted a fight, but Penelope was surely not going to give him one. Not unless he pushed the issue. After all, a person could only get pressed so far when they were on their first break in months, so that man _really shouldn't try to start something with her right now._

"Why don't you try to lighten up? You don't wanna get that attitude around someone like me," he stated confidently. Penelope still hadn't looked over at the man, keeping eyes on her drinks, but she managed to snort at his comment.

"What?" the man said. "Think you can take me, sweetheart?"

Sweetheart? This man really didn't know what he was getting himself into. "I know I could," Penelope stated simply, grabbing the tray of drinks and dropping a few credit chips on the counter. The man decided that would be a good time to lunge at the engineer. But while the drunken man surged forward, Penelope easily swung around to evade him, and at the same time, stuck out her boot to trip him.

Maybe she wouldn't throw a punch, but Penelope never claimed to be a saint.

He ended up tumbling into a large group of customers over to the left, knocking down quite a few of them. At that, many of the new group started to fight with the man, both verbally and physically. Penelope could see that she'd overstayed her welcome with the bartender, so she hauled herself out of the mess as quickly as she could.

So, yeah. Starbases didn't quite hold the glamour they had when she was six.

When she finally managed to spot her crewmates, Penelope noticed Illa had returned. They'd also found Scotty, who was of course attached to the captain, who came as a package deal with his entire Bridge crew. _How...delightful_ , Penelope thought. Didn't she see enough of those people whenever she grabbed a meal with the Chief?

Sighing in acceptance, Penelope approached the large gathering, handing a shot to each of the original five from her landing party, and kept two for herself. Always best to have a backup. Downing the two drinks in quick succession, Penelope plopped down next to Illa on a worn vinyl bench.

"Do you think the cap'n's sleeping with Carol?" Illa whispered in her ear after she'd drank her own shot. Penelope cast a curious glance over toward the aforementioned pair. As things had been decidedly awkward between the captain and herself ever since their argument – and considering they weren't really the closest besides – Penelope couldn't tell for certain on his side.

She was pretty sure he made that smile at anything that walked by.

But Penelope knew Carol a bit better, and from the way her eyes kept drawing up to Kirk, the engineering officer was sure something was up. "Probably," Penelope said with nonchalance, and Illa giggled.

"That's so weird," the E Section head replied, shaking her head and grabbing George's drink from his hand. After drinking it all, Illa turned to Penelope again and handed the empty glass back. "Soooooo, don't you want to know where I went earlier?"

"Not particularly," Penelope said, snatching the new drink George had grabbed and downing that as well.

George slapped his knee in exasperation. "Well dang nabbit!"

Yalmark shook his head. "Seriously, man? Quit it."

"Not at all?" Illa teased, flicking Penelope on the cheek. To be fair to her, she hadn't even flinched. The things she put up with...

"Well I wanna know, Ilia, so spit it out already," George drawled, though Penelope thought he sounded much more like McCoy than Yalmark. Yalmark slapped George upside the head anyways.

"So there I was," Illa began, her dramatic tone carrying over all the noise, "just a young engineering officer, looking to have a good time, when suddenly, a mysterious message from Fairaway pulls me from my no doubt philosophically minded ponderings..."

George and Yalmark were no longer listening, instead choosing to bicker about George's misuse of the word _ya'll_ , and Penelope had lost interest once Fairaway had been mentioned. No doubt he'd sent Illa something idiotic in his drunken stupor, and would later regret it, as Illa loved telling exaggerated stories.

"And then he – are you guys even listening?" Illa exclaimed a little while later.

"No, no really," Yalmark said, George in a headlock under his arm still muttering about the old farm down in _Mobile._ And Penelope still wasn't, either, because she'd caught sight of something far more interesting at the bar-counter.

And he just so happened to notice her, too.

"I'll be back," Penelope muttered to the group, but as they were all busy arguing with each other, none of them seemed to care. The Assistant Chief strolled forward, slightly buzzed, but unlike Fairaway, actually holding her liquor.

She stopped right in front of the man, tipping her head back to look into his eyes. They were smiling. "Hi," the man said, grinning like he was winning at something. Penelope continued to stare up at him.

"Hello," Penelope greeted, leaning against the counter despite the crowd.

"You're with Starfleet?" the man asked, crossing his arms confidently and nodding to her uniform. Penelope nodded. "That's a damn shame," he commented.

"Doesn't have to be," the engineer began, giving the man an obvious once over.

"Is that right?"

Penelope gave him a small smile then, letting it reach her eyes as she shook her head slowly and leaned in.

* * *

When Penelope woke up the next morning next to two bodies, instead of one, she decided starbases weren't all they were cracked up to be, but they sure got the job done if one wanted to relax. The other two were dead asleep, so Penelope fished out her things from the smattering of clothing items on the floor and got dressed in a hurry.

Last nights were always fun, but mornings were never going to be Penelope's thing.

Chewing a toothpaste pill from her pocket, Penelope pulled her hair back in an expert move, and exited the temporary quarters silently. The hall in front of her was unfamiliar, but a map on the wall a few yards down indicated that she was only a few decks up from where she'd beamed down the night before.

It was exactly 1000 going by the computer's clock, so Penelope still had some time to kill before her shift started. Making the duty rosters because the CEO was too lazy to do them himself could really help a person out around shore leave dates. She may also have purposely scheduled George at an 0700 shift, but that could just as easily have been Yomai's doing. The universe would never know, and some things were better left alone.

Noticing an indoor park on the level below, Penelope decided to head down there and observe the greenery. The _Enterprise_ grew plants as well, but no one save the science and medical crew spent time in their greenhouses because the vegetation was always so vicious. McCoy probably planned the whole thing out, some elaborate plot to kill the entire ship through flowers or something equally nonsensical.

Upon reaching the artificially induced 'nature', Penelope walked around aimlessly for a while, just enjoying the smell of grass again. She might love her ship's engines, but there was also something to be said for dirt – even faked – beneath one's feet. Maybe it was her humanity peeking through, or maybe it was the blissful lack of a hangover, but Penelope just let herself smile as she strolled through the park.

Her time off was nearing a close when Penelope saw Kirk and Carol kissing, quite passionately, behind one of the many oak trees sprouted around. Lifting an eyebrow, Penelope became glad that Illa hadn't asked to make bets on their relationship, because Penelope never thought either of them would move that fast. The captain, sure, but Carol always struck Penelope as more traditional.

Well, no one ever really knew anyone else, Penelope supposed.

Giving the couple privacy, Penelope flipped open her PADD, noting that she still had time to look at the animals in the small pond behind her. Kneeling down at the edge of the water, the Assistant Chief squinted hard into the depths, trying to spot a fish of some sort. For a moment, the light flashed in through the large windowed ceilings, and Penelope could see a rainbow of colors and a variety of shapes.

Content with that, the engineering officer let the relaxed smile leave her face, and she headed back aboard the _Enterprise_. On her way there, she found Illa stumbling along with another Junior Lieutenant, both looking absolutely miserable. Illa's shoulders were supporting the weight of the crewman, who was limping along at a suspicious pace.

"Is everything alright here?" Penelope asked, approaching the pair with caution.

Illa turned her head and flashed the Assistant Chief a winning smile. "Oh, we're fine. Gus thought he'd try a dive off one of the engine bulkheads down in the lower decks this morning," Illa explained as Penelope came forward to help hold up the Lieutenant on the other side. "Nothing like waking up drunk, huh Gussy?" the E Section Head called loudly, making the man groan.

"Wrenchy..." Gus moaned, looking absolutely miserable. His red shirt was stained with something that looked suspiciously like vomit, and his red hair was mused on his head. He seemed greener than Keenser.

Penelope grunted as she shifted his weight onto her. "Good morning," she muttered as all three made their way, slowly but surely, to the rendezvous point.

"Hey, Gus," Illa prompted after they had all beamed up. The engineer manning the transport helped them out the door and pushed them toward Sickbay with a look of resignation.

"Wassup?" Gus slurred, trying not trip over his own feet.

"If you throw up on me, you'll have Maintenance shifts for a month."

"O's'kay."

By the time the trio got into Sickbay, Gus seemed just about ready to get those Maintenance shifts, so the other two engineers left him in the capable, but very busy, hands of one of the nurses. Apparently very few crewmembers aboard the _Enterprise_ knew what drinking in moderation meant. Penelope mentally sighed, thinking that the ship's CMO was going to be whining for weeks.

"Thanks for helping me, Penelope," Illa said as they exited the chaotic Medical section.

Penelope started at hearing her first name used, but Illa only made a funny face when Penelope gave her a questioning gaze. "No problem, _Ilia_ ," the Assistant Chief returned with feigned disgust at the first name.

"Did I hear right?" Illa asked loudly, drawing the attention of other crew passing by. " _The_ Penelope Waters just used familiar terms with someone?" The E Section Head pretended to swoon into Penelope's arms, but the Assistant Chief simply shoved her to the side. "I think the universe may have just imploded."

Penelope attempted to get into the elevator and shut the sliding doors before Illa could squeeze her way through. She failed, much to the other woman's delight. "Does this mean we're friends?"

"No."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really?"

"..."

"Is that a yes?"

"No."

"So yeah?"

Similar conversation followed all the way to Scotty's office, but when the door opened, Illa scampered away. Scotty waved her in further, and Penelope sighed when she saw the state of the man's office. Didn't he know how to organize anything but warp nacelles?

"Gus is in Sickbay, sir," Penelope said as a greeting, taking a seat in one of the chairs opposite to Scotty. He didn't look up from the small project in his hands. The Assistant Chief couldn't recognize what it was, but she'd learned long ago never to ask Scotty a technical question unless she wanted to sit and listen for the next hour as he answered.

"So'r a lot of our engineers," Scotty complained, turning the box around once, "Think I might try n' teach them how ta handle themselves sometime before the next shore leave." Though Scotty might not be the best instructor on alcohol safety, it seemed someone would have to do it, and do it soon.

Penelope crossed her legs, and let her eyes rest on Scott's intense tinkering. "Has Talorak come back yet?"

"Aye," Scotty answered absently. "Why'd you ask?"

"There's some forms he needs to sign before we can finish on that new loading dock system," Penelope said. Scotty looked up blankly at her.

"What?"

"The one Illa's been fixing up. She said she cleared it with you months ago."

Scotty scratched his head. "Oh that. She said you were going to take care of the details for me, lass."

Frustrated, Penelope gritted her teeth. "I have been, sir. We need Talorak's signature because we'll need to connect the system into the impulse power."

"What about main power?"

"Already done it."

Scotty nodded and turned back to the task in hand. "Right. Well, you know where to find him." Penelope left the office without another word, slightly irritated by Scotty's indifference. Shouldn't he care a bit more about the project? Usually, the Chief Engineer would be delighted at some initiative by the section heads to improve parts of the ship. Sometimes, Penelope thought Scotty should quit using her as a section head liaison and go take care of things himself.

After attaining the signature from Talorak, as well as an unnecessary bit of gloating from the man while he bragged about how many of _his_ section's engineers weren't too hung over for duty, Penelope ran into George.

"You did this to me, Wrenchy," George accused unhappily as he pretended to fix up some of the generator cooling units over in the corner of B Section. Yomai had taken a break, leaving her in charge while he went to eat.

"What?" the Assistant Chief asked innocently.

George gave her the most gloomy, puppy-dog eyes he could manage as he adjusted the black-tinted goggles back onto his face. Penelope had a feeling those weren't strictly for working purposes.

"You're evil, Wrenchy. Pure, unadulterated evil." The use of the nickname made her eye twitch.

"I did say I would get you back for that food fight," she said.

George gaped. "That was years ago. Centuries. Millennia."

"And yet somehow, the holovids of Commander Spock getting slapped in the face by _my dinner_ ," Penelope replied dangerously, "are still circulating the ship regularly. I wonder who's responsible for that?"

As George had no defense to that, he grumbled a bit under his breath before lazily moving a capped laser around his station.

"I's still funny," George muttered so quietly Penelope barely caught it as she walked away.

"What was that, Ensign?"

"Nothing, Wrenchy!"


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thanks for views and reviews! I read them all and was like XD. I'm traveling tomorrow, so if chapter 10 isn't ready before then, it might be a day or two before it's posted. Hope you keep reading!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 9 – Talking it Out**

While M'Benga finished the exam, Penelope thanked the stars that she'd been assigned to anyone but McCoy.

Not that she didn't like M'Benga too, just that as quarterly physical time came around the ship, the gossip and complaints from crewmembers who had McCoy were on their patterned rise. There were horror stories, exaggerated tales about the deranged look in the CMO's eyes as he ran experiments instead of proper tests. Penelope had heard he'd even made a young Ensign cry last week, but that was just a rumor. When the captain had brought it up during dinner last night, Scotty and Penelope were stifling their laughter as the CMO turned on his friend and threatened him with monthly check-ups.

"Everything seems to be in order, Lieutenant," the doctor said, pulling away one of his many medical devices, "although you're a bit underweight. Have you been eating properly?"

"Sort of," the Assistant Chief answered truthfully. Coffee had been her main source of sustenance since she'd boarded the starship, as her appetite always seemed to disappear when she worried. And there were so many stresses that went along with her job that Penelope hadn't really been paying attention to her diet.

M'Benga gave her a disapproving look before turning to the computer beside the biobed. The two were in a small room off to the side of the main Sickbay, which Penelope was grateful for. "Sort of isn't really what we're going for. I'm changing your diet card until the next quarter. Be sure to actually use it this time, Waters."

Penelope nodded at the comment, making a mental note to be more aware around meal times.

"I'm also recommending that you go see the ship's counselor."

Wait, what? "Why?" the engineer began.

"I've made all the crew who returned after last year's attack go see her," M'Benga replied, cleaning up his station. "You're certainly not the exception." Penelope stood up from her seat on the biobed, adjusting her wrinkled uniform.

"I don't have an eating disorder."

"I don't think you do either, but that's not what I'm getting at."

The engineer waited for a more in-depth explanation, crossing her arms and leaning back against the bed. "You have a past of disciplinary problems," the doctor said.

"Not aboard this ship," Penelope argued.

"No," M'Benga agreed, "But previous psychological exams show you have a tendency for anger. I'm worried that the stress of your new job in a place that has had, admittedly, its fair share of violence might be conducive to bringing out a bad reaction."

"You think I'm going to attack somebody if I don't go see a therapist?" the engineer questioned in disbelief.

"You punched a wall so hard you broke a few fingers, Lieutenant."

"That was two months ago."

M'Benga sighed. "Yes, and why that's only being addressed now is a failure on my part. I should've required you go sooner." The doctor finished scribbling something away on his large tablet screen. "Being healthy in both body and mind are essential to being a good officer," he added, as though that would make her feel any better.

"I'm fine," Penelope insisted.

The doctor looked up from the screen and met her gaze. "Everyone was affected by what happened when that ship attacked, Waters. It's okay not to be fine." Penelope disagreed. She needed to be alright, and she was. Her outburst in Sickbay didn't have anything to do with what the medical officer had talked about. She'd been worried about Scotty, and upset at herself for holding a grudge. The captain had also deliberately provoked her, something she suspected he could do to almost anyone.

"I've scheduled you for a meeting tomorrow with Doctor Robinson after your shift, Lieutenant," M'Benga called out as Penelope left the room in a huff. She stormed out of Sickbay and down the hall. After calling out for the elevator to take her to Engineering, Penelope closed her eyes and calmed herself.

Penelope hated Sickbay, with all its bright whiteness, but that was alright because right then she just needed to breathe. Don't think about M'Benga, with his irritatingly calm voice, or his knowing looks. Everything was going to be fine. Tomorrow, Penelope would go in, see the counselor, and then never go back again. That was all.

Exiting the lift, Penelope walked along until she reached E Section. "Illa!" the Assistant Chief said, drawing the other woman from a heated disagreement with her second-in-command, Gus. Motioning sharply for the man to leave her, Illa came forward to greet Penelope. "Okay?" Penelope asked, noticing Illa's flushed cheeks.

"Fine," the Lieutenant replied a little too quickly.

Penelope gave her a _look_ , so Illa sighed and answered. "It's really nothing. Just some supposed problems over the new security system. He thinks there's something wrong with it, but I've checked it, Penelope, I swear. And it works great!"

The Assistant Chief nodded in agreement. "I trust you, Illa. You say it works fine, then it works fine."

Illa threw her a grateful glance. "Thanks. I don't know how you and Scotty do it. Everyone's always second-guessin' you, thinking they can do it better..." Penelope and Scotty had hand-picked their Engineering section heads from the very start, and though Illa was young and inexperienced, Penelope had thought she'd make a great weapons system leader. She had the necessary background, and something about her had made Penelope push Scotty to request the assignment transfer.

"You're doing great," Penelope said in an impulsive gesture of kindness, reaching out to grab the other engineer's shoulder. Illa smiled at her comment and then seemed to shake off the argument's effects.

"How'd the physical go?" Illa asked as they sat down to monitor the systems from one of the computer docks. Penelope shook her head.

"Alright." Horrible.

Illa made a frightened face. "I'm too scared to go in. Did you hear what Dr. McCoy did to Ensign Thomas?"

"It's true," Penelope confirmed, which made Illa whimper.

"Why'd I have to get him, Penelope?" she groaned.

"Have you scheduled it yet?"

Illa looked sheepish. "No. I'm waiting until the last possible moment."

"That's just going to make it worse."

"You think?"

"Yeah."

The other engineer sunk a bit in her seat, then perked up as Carol entered the section and walked towards them. As always, the woman was dressed in the blue standard female uniform, looking like it had just been pressed. "Hello," Carol greeted nicely. Illa made a leer at her.

"How's the cap'n?" she said with a wriggle of her eyebrows.

Carol blushed, but gave Illa a determined glare. Penelope thought that was pretty brave of her, considering how much Illa would tease her about it. "I'm here for the daily weapons check," she stated.

"Of course you are. Say, how big is it?"

Carol looked confused. "How big is what?"

"The cap'n's -" Before Illa could finish the question, Penelope had slapped a hand over the younger engineer's mouth. She licked her palm, and Penelope jerked back her hand in surprise. Carol seemed to be blushing even harder now, glancing around as if wishing to be anywhere else.

"That's not fair, Penelope. I was just going to ask about his ego," Illa defended glumly, not appearing in the least bit guilty or truthful. Penelope glared at Illa, looking between her and the weapons specialist pointedly. "Fine," Illa sighed, "Sorry, Carol. I wasn't tryin' to be mean, honest." Carol glanced at Penelope in thanks before replying.

"It's quite alright," the science officer said. "Do you want to do the check now? I can come back later if you're busy."

"No, no," Illa waved her hand, "Let's go." As the pair walked away, Penelope could hear Illa start teasing again. Catching her eye from across the way, the Assistant Chief shook her head in disapproval, causing Illa to pout. Penelope's eyes drifted back to the computer screen, re-checking the section on her own. As everything looked in order, the engineer got up and went to D Section.

That continued on, with Penelope stopping at each section and offering help. She'd gotten particularly held up in C, where one of the engineers had slipped from their harness and broken an arm. M'Barrow, the C Section Head, had the man escorted to Sickbay by Keenser, who apparently could convince any engineer to do as their told with a single look.

B Section was much more organized, owing to Yomai's obsessiveness. George had made faces behind the Commander's head when Penelope was trying to talking with Yomai, which had ended with George getting tripped as he tried to pass the pair. As expected, George held a look of betrayal as she left the section, but Penelope ignored the whispered threat of revenge.

In A Section, Scotty was hanging upside down along the side of the core, with Rome in a similar position at his side. The rest of the engineer's were gathered around on the floor below, watching with awed expressions.

"Fly, what's going on?" Penelope asked as she approached the spectacle.

He grinned at her. "I have no idea," the Ensign admitted, "but they're both cursing up a storm, so we all decided to watch." At her look, Fly added, "For their safety, of course."

Penelope whistled loudly, gathering the attention of everyone, including the bickering engineers. "I want everyone back to work!" When no one moved, Penelope tacked on for good measure, "Now!" That appeared to do the job, though Scotty and Rome still dangled helplessly. When she came right below them and crossed her arms, Penelope watched as they had the decency to look ashamed.

"We were just having a wee spat, lass," Scotty said, his face turning red as the blood rushed to his head. Rome nodded in fervent agreement. At Penelope's continued glare, the Chief Engineer gulped. "We're fine now, so why don't you just run along-"

"Run along, sir?" Penelope intoned dangerously.

"He meant to say," Rome burst out, "that we might need help getting down."

Penelope looked both men in the eye, and then turned away. _Run along_? Sure, she'd run along and let them pass out from their own stupidity. Maybe that would get it through Scotty's head that she wasn't his assistant, and it wasn't her job to clean up his idiotic messes. It probably wouldn't though.

It still made her feel better.

* * *

Penelope entered the counselor's office with barely contained dread.

Doctor Robinson was an older woman, looking around her late fifties. Her auburn hair was cut short on her head, reaching about to her chin, and the lines around her dark eyes made them appear unfailingly kind. The doctor's office was littered with homey decorations, and Penelope had never seen a room that looked less like it was on a starship. She even had a shelf filled with actual books.

"Hello. You must be Lieutenant Waters. I'm Dr. Robinson," the counselor had greeted while shaking the engineer's hand with a firm grip.

"Hello," Penelope returned.

Robinson gestured toward a plump, tan chair behind a small table. "Please. Have a seat." Wishing she were anywhere else, Penelope did as she was told, and the doctor placed herself in a similar looking chair across from her. She had a table and stylus in hand, and crossed her legs as she gazed over at the engineer.

"How are you today, Lieutenant?"

"Fine," the Assistant Chief answered, trying not to shift in her seat at the doctor's gaze. Everything about the older woman seemed made together to put people at ease, and that usually meant she shouldn't be.

The doctor smiled, eyes crinkling. "No complaints?"

"No."

"Good. That's good," Dr. Robinson stated. "Doctor M'Benga suggested you come here," she provided as an awkward silence filled the room. Not knowing if that was a question or a statement, Penelope thought to respond in the affirmative just to keep the quiet from being overbearing.

"Yes."

"Do you know what his reasons were?"

Penelope shrugged. "He said everyone came down to talk to you eventually."

"Most of the crew visited in the first week of the mission," Robinson supplied.

"I got my physical done just before the ship left." As if Penelope would put something like that off until the last minute. Just because a majority of the crew procrastinated didn't mean Penelope would ever come unprepared.

Robinson seemed unsatisfied with her answers. "Was there anything more specific? Any other thing that's happened recently to make M'Benga prescribe this meeting?" Penelope had a feeling Robinson had already poured over her file, and it was probably a good read, too. And almost everyone knew about Penelope's fight with Scotty, with the captain, the wall...

"I lost a few pounds," Penelope admitted, searching for a more neutral tone to the conversation. "Not a lot," she assured, "but enough."

That caught the doctor's attention, as she was now scribbling something lightly on the tablet. It wasn't the clear, double-sided ones most of the crew used, but had black-tinted back so that Penelope couldn't read what she was writing. "Do you often have significant fluctuations in weight?" It took the engineer a moment to process the words.

"Uh...no?" It came out as more of a question because Penelope really wasn't one for stressing about it. She normally ate a healthy amount and exercised to help manage her anger. She wasn't ever really in danger of falling too low or high on a scale, so she just didn't monitor it.

"So this is a new problem for you," the doctor stated simply.

"Yes, but," Penelope said, "it's not really a problem. I just wasn't paying close attention before. I am now."

Doctor Robinson looked her in the eye before nodding. "I see." Penelope really didn't think she did, considering the light condescending note to her voice. Another silence pervaded the counselor's office, and Penelope waited for the doctor to say something. She wasn't the one that wanted this meeting, so she wasn't going to be the one moving it along.

"You're originally from the French Quarter?" The question came out of nowhere, so Penelope answered as a knee-jerk reaction.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Did you speak Standard growing up?"

"I learned it in school," Penelope said, not really sure where the conversation was headed, but felt wary about it anyway.

"Did your parents speak Standard at home?"

Penelope never really talked about her parents with other people. Actually, she didn't talk about herself much at all. It made her distinctly uncomfortable that the counselor brought them up, but Penelope had been through meetings like this before, so she was able to respond in an even voice.

"Not usually."

The doctor started to write again. "Did they know how?"

"My mother knew more than my father. He... I don't actually remember him ever speaking it," Penelope realized. Had he known? She always assumed that he had, just that he didn't speak it well. He insisted that only French be spoken in the home, a way to preserve their culture and heritage. His small rebellion against the unity he seemed to despise.

"What did your father do for work?"

Penelope tilted her head. "I believe he never really settled into any one job."

"Have you spoken to him recently?"

"No."

Robinson paused in her writing and looked up at the engineer, her brown eyes searching. "When was the last time you spoke?" Penelope considered it for a while, not truly remembering the exact date. It was so long ago.

"About eighteen years, give or take," the Assistant Chief finally replied. That was longer than she'd originally thought, but then again, it had been a while since she'd bothered to do the math. Never really believed it was worth her time.

"You must have been very young. What happened?"

Penelope nodded, distancing herself from the incident in her head. "Left off-world for a mining job when I was about nine. Never heard from him again. When I was fifteen," she said, knowing that the doctor probably already knew this, but also knowing the quickest way to leave was this, "and my mother died, he was contacted by social services. He waived any parental rights. That's the last I ever heard about him."

"Where did you go?"

Pointless, pointless questions. She'd been given a full psychological examination before she got in the ship. Wasn't that enough for M'Benga? "I stayed with my mother's sister and her husband and daughter on Andoria."

"For how long?"

"Roughly a year?" Penelope said, her eyes straying from the doctor's form over to her desk. Unlike many, it comprised, not of sleek metal lines, but of a light wood. There were holo-pics of people that looked like Dr. Robinson' family. Most had dark hair and eyes, but pale skin, and they all looked happy. People always did in those things.

She heard the doctor switch legs, adjusting herself in the chair. "They were researchers, your aunt and uncle?" Robinson asked, and all of a sudden, Penelope wanted to be somewhere far away. Someplace like in the doctor's holo-pics where the children and grandchildren wore big grins.

Penelope still wasn't looking at the counselor. "Yes."

"Your aunt in particular was an expert in xenobiology."

"Yes."

"You left while they were still in Andoria, but they were on Vulcan when -"

"Yes."

"I see," the doctor said, and that time, Penelope thought she might really.

Life for most people was a string of events that twine around in loops and hit other people's strings at odd angles and sharp edges, and the trick of it was always to find a way to smooth it all out. Penelope's life had up to that point been a series of disasters, mitigated only by the extraordinary individuals that seemed to twist into where her string lay in knots.

That some outworlders were on Vulcan the day it had been attacked was a long overlooked fact, a reasonable reaction in the wake of a genocide so complete it had almost wiped out an entire species. Why it had to be Penelope's aunt and cousin on Vulcan that year, _just for that year_ , her aunt had said in a message Penelope had never responded too, was a heartbreak so unbearable Penelope had tucked it away into all the other knots and let it tangle silently.

The beaming faces of Robinson's family stared mockingly back at her. Penelope wished desperately to be anywhere else, to be talking to anyone else.

"After you came back to Earth from Andoria, on your own, where did you stay?" Penelope was glad Robinson had dropped it.

Penelope took an extended amount of time before answering, her gaze sliding over to the bookshelf in the far corner. "Just kind of all around," she said, examining the worn spines of actual, physical books. They were neatly packed in, but varied enough in size and color that they didn't appear too orderly.

"And then you attacked Mr. Platte?"

"Yes." Penelope had only ever seen physical copies of books in a small section of the Academy library when she'd been a Cadet. It seemed ages ago, now.

"You were given the option between a penal colony and an enlistment with Starfleet, is that right?"

"Yes."

"Why did you choose this?" the doctor asked, waving the stylus-holding arm around. "Penal colonies would have helped you rehabilitate, and by this time, you would've been sent back to Earth."

Penelope considered lying, but the trained eyes of Dr. Robinson warned her that she would be seen through in a heartbeat. "My lawyer told me to pick the penal colony." After declaring herself guilty, she could remember the android's calculated voice, informing her of the odds of a person like herself not violating the terms of a contract with Starfleet. It would be more expedient, the lawyer had advised, to simply serve her time. If she maintained a good rapport with the workers there, she might even have her sentence shortened. It was to her best advantage to pick Frello V.

Of course she had chosen Starfleet after that.

"You thought the lawyer was wrong in telling you that?"

"No."

"I don't quite follow," the doctor admitted, flashing her a tight smile. It was like all the others on the holo-pics, but less genuine, and it gave Penelope a start to realize how far off-topic the conversation had veered. Hadn't they just been talking about Standard? But time had passed by quickly, Penelope noted when she discreetly checked the PADD in her hand.

Penelope yawned pointedly. "I'm a bit tired, doctor. Have I satisfied the terms of this appointment?" The doctor checked the time, looking a bit surprised herself. She nodded, and the both of them stood up. All Penelope wanted to do was get out of the office before things could get even more personal.

"I think, Lieutenant, that it would be prudent for us to meet ever quarter. Like your physical with Dr. M'Benga, your mental health may need a bit of small work," the doctor said before Penelope could leave. When she tried to protest, the doctor held up a hand in a graceful gesture. "I do not imply that you are unfit for duty, only that it would be in your, and your engineers', best interest if we continue to meet."

"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" Penelope couldn't help but ask. Her own mother hadn't realized, or accepted, that she'd needed help. Was Penelope becoming like her, but not realizing it? Was that why M'Benga had sent her here?

The doctor shifted forward, and Penelope stifled the urge to ask her how she got a regulation female uniform to be so long on her legs. Penelope might not actually mind wearing them if they didn't end mid-thigh. It would always be a bit hard to do engineering work in a skirt, though, no matter the length.

"There is nothing wrong with you, Lieutenant," Dr. Robinson assured, "But most people don't realize that our minds need just as much protection as our bodies."

"And with that, I will bid you a pleasant evening," the doctor said in farewell as she finally let Penelope escape the cozy confines of her office.

* * *

 _"You sure you're alright, Penelope?" Johnny asked again as they rushed onto the shuttle. Penelope nodded without thinking, and together they found a pair of seats in the back row. Johnny let Penelope slide in first, her orange-red Cadet skirt catching on the seat before she tucked it under herself. She looked out the window, watching as other Cadets raced onto shuttles._

 _"You know, it's okay not to be," Johnny said, "fine, that is." But everything was fine. Vulcan had sent out a distress signal, but it would be alright. Her family was there, and Penelope hadn't returned a call from her aunt since her trial years and year ago, but that was okay. She could still hear Olivia's question echoing in her head._

When are you coming back, Penelope? _Her little cousin had asked when she caught Penelope sneaking out in the middle of the night, plans made to stowaway aboard a Starfleet ship headed from Andoria to Earth. But it was okay that she never gave Olivia a direct answer because she and her aunt were going to be fine._

 _"I am," Penelope insisted sharply, strapping in as the pilot called out for departure. She knew she was lucky that the two of them had been assigned the same ship. As much as she tried to convince herself, Penelope knew she'd be nowhere as sane right then without Johnny at her side._ _"Did you call Marie?" the engineer asked Johnny, hoping to switch his attention._

 _Johnny still got a dopey expression whenever his wife was mentioned. The couple had recently had a son, and Johnny had been over the moon, though incredibly exhausted, since. "She's a bit pissed that we're being sent out," her friend admitted, running a hand through his hair in a nervous movement. "But we're almost graduated, so I don't really see the difference."_

 _"Not everyone here is," Penelope commented, nodding up to the front where an extremely young looking guy tried to wriggle his way into the safety belts. She'd already been through a year of enlisted Security training, a year of enlisted Engineering training, and was now finally on her way to completing officer's training at the Academy. This kid didn't even look like he'd graduated secondary school. Granted, Penelope never had either, but that was beside the point._

 _The shuttle began to lift-off, and Johnny was giving her one of his faces that meant:_ she's a total idiot for thinking he didn't notice how she'd changed the subject _. "They're doing evacuations there as we speak," Johnny assured her._

 _"I said I was fine."_

 _"Right. But let's just assume you aren't for like a nanosecond," Johnny began, and continued even when she glared at him, "Your aunt's husband, what's his name..."_

 _"Jared," she supplied._

 _"Yeah, him. He's not even on Vulcan."_

 _"So?" Penelope asked, not understanding what he was getting at._

 _"Isn't he some important science guy or something?" Johnny pressed, grabbing onto the armrest when the shuttle started to leave atmosphere. Penelope nodded._

 _"So don't you think he'd be the first to be getting his wife and child off that planet, no matter if this distress call is because some Vulcan accidentally cried watching a Terran holo-vid?" Penelope wanted to rebut that her uncle had nowhere near the type of influence to demand a swifter evacuation of his family over anyone else's, or that a place like Vulcan would never be swayed by said pull even if he had it._

 _She didn't, because when she looked up and caught Johnny's black eyes, he beamed a smile at her that reminded her of every insane thing they'd ever done together. This probably wouldn't even make the top ten, answering a distress call from a Federation planet as Cadets._ _"Thanks, Johnny." He chuckled, leaning his weight into her so that she was squished against the window. "Hey!" she complained, trying to push him off her._

 _"Don't mention it, Waters. I got your back."_

 _She would've responded, but instead, Penelope's eyes were suddenly filled with the most beautiful, sleek looking starship in the entire fleet. And she was going to be on it, working in it's engines. If it were in any other circumstances, Penelope might let herself be thankful for the opportunity. Things as they were, the sight of the_ U.S.S. Enterprise _gave the young engineer a tight ball of worry as the shuttle entered the loading dock._

 _"Penelope?" Johnny asked, his body still pushing into hers._

 _The engineer kept her eyes on the_ Enterprise _as she answered in a small voice. "I'm scared, Johnny."_

 _"I know."_

 _"What if something bad happens?"_

 _"I'll fix it," Johnny said, confidence seeping into his tone._

 _"Would you trust me to?" Penelope turned suddenly, causing Johnny to pull back. Other Cadets were now exiting the shuttle, though the kid in the front was still having trouble with the belt. He was muttering in some Slavic Terran language Penelope couldn't understand._

 _"Trust you to what?"_

 _"Fix it. If there was something wrong with you, would you trust me to?" She needed to know because if anything happened to either of them on answering this distress call, Penelope didn't want any doubt over where they stood with each other._

 _"Of course," Johnny replied, sounding as though it were the most obvious fact in the universe. "Of course I would."_


	10. Chapter 10

**U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 10 – The Realization**

Penelope drooled on the CMO's shoulder, wondering how exactly Scotty had overridden the door lock to her quarters.

"How ya doin' over there, lass?" Scotty called from the seat opposite her. Penelope was too tired to glare at the man, burrowing into the doctor's arm despite his look of complete disgust at the situation. Last night, Penelope had somehow been roped into a drinking contest with the Chief, a decision she regretted almost immediately after the first shot of whatever it was Scotty had been brewing behind D Section.

It had started rather innocently, with Scotty being his normal irritating self, but then the Chief started pushing her. He had the nerve to complain about her duty roster, and how some of the engineers had come to him asking for shift changes. And it all went downhill from there, ending with a challenge: whoever passed out first had to make the roster for the next two months. Ridiculous stakes, as Penelope already made them all, but the superior and arrogant expression Scotty had worn while he issued the ultimatum made Penelope want to take him down.

She failed, much to the Chief Engineer's delight, which he wore even more boldly the next morning when he dragged her from bed to eat an early breakfast.

"My mother gave me the best hangover remedy," Chekov supplied helpfully from down the table and beside the captain. "It works very well." Penelope could hardly understand his accented voice through the pounding from her head. The captain burst out laughing, making Penelope groan and lift her head up from McCoy to cover her ears. Why did Scotty even like these people?

"I can totally picture that," the captain said, completely amused. Carol sat beside him, eating more of her mushy oatmeal. It made Penelope's stomach turn to see it, so she kept her eyes down at the coffee Scotty had fetched for her. It was about the only useful thing he'd ever done.

Scotty was chewing his breakfast rather loudly, so Penelope turned up her head. "How can you even eat that?" she asked in disbelief, her words stringing together with sleepiness. The Chief grinned at her, his mouth full of food. If she threw up, she was going to aim directly at him.

"Years of practice," Scotty said proudly.

He seemed far too amused by her plight. She hoped one of the others would grab his attention so that Penelope could sneak out of that godforsaken mess hall and go back to bed.

Penelope drank a long gulp of the coffee, and listened silently to the Bridge crew converse.

The communications officer, Uhura, was currently rolling her eyes at whatever the captain had just said. "Stop talking about Chekov's mother," Uhura insisted to the captain. From previous meals with Scotty, Penelope knew Kirk loved to engage Uhura, and she knew Uhura likely never admitted to herself that she loved arguing back.

They were all weird, and demonically loud. Couldn't they tone it down a decibel notch or five?

"I'm not saying anything bad, right Chekov?" Kirk questioned the young navigator, throwing an arm around the man's shoulders.

"Em, no Captain?" Chekov said in a question.

"You're such an ass," Uhura commented, picking at her fruit. The first officer sat to her right and became even more rigid in his seat at the use of the expletive. His girlfriend was probably the only one he never needled about the _ability to express oneself without resorting to immature name-calling and vocabulary_. Or maybe Spock just liked to mess with McCoy. Penelope could definitely appreciate that.

"You're such an ass, _Captain_ ," Kirk corrected, and even Carol shot him an irritated look. At that, the captain made a sheepish expression but didn't take it back.

Uhura turned to Spock. "What are the chances of the _captain_ being the epitome of an idiotic jackass?"

"The exact odds?" the first officer inquired, his face expressionless.

"Precisely," Uhura insisted. Spock tilted his head in thought.

"Current data would suggest that the captain has an 81.56% chance of offending another individual aboard this starship every twenty minutes," Spock offered.

The captain started laughing again. "Oh my god, Spock, you pulled those numbers straight outta your -"

"I assure you, Captain, that my calculations were the result of a less recent request dating approximately 2.3 months before this morning. I have since updated my percentages according to your changes in behavior, which are quite frequent and so require constant attention." Penelope blinked, not catching half of what the first officer said, but _loving_ the look on Kirk's face as the man finished.

"Wait, who asked you to do that? And why'd you actually do it?" Kirk spluttered.

McCoy raised his hand defiantly, causing Kirk to become even more indignant. "You two fight over everything," the captain insisted, sounding like he couldn't believe what was happening.

"There's one thing we both agree on," the CMO grumbled, "and it's how annoying you are."

The captain fell into Carol's arms, clutching his heart and pretending to die. " _Et tu_ , Bones?" The science officer shook her head at the man in affection, continuing to eat her oatmeal unperturbed by Kirk's dramatics.

Penelope decided enough was enough and downed the rest of her drink before slamming the cup in front of Scotty. He could clean up her dishes if he wanted to drag her out of bed before 1000. "Make sure to bring your happy face to work today, Wrenchy!" Scotty called as she slunk out of the mess hall. They were doing a necessary cleaning of the dilithium chambers that day, which meant no warp-travel and no downtime for the engineers.

Her head still ached, so Penelope decided to go back to her quarters and rest a bit more until her shift started. What she saw upon entering the room, though, shocked the engineer.

Illa was sitting on Penelope's neatly made bed with tears rolling down her face, legs tucked under her. How did everyone keep getting in there without the passcodes?

"Illa?" Penelope asked, approaching the younger engineer with caution. The Assistant Chief tread lightly when no response came. "Illa, what's happened?" she said softly, kneeling in front of where Illa sat.

The E Section Head just shook her head, her hands covering her face as she continued to sob. "Please answer me, Illa," Penelope pleaded, staying close but not touching her in case it upset the woman more. It took a few minutes for Illa to calm down long enough to form words.

"We need to go," Illa cried.

"Go where?" Penelope wondered softly.

Illa shook her head, beyond upset. "I'm so sorry, Penelope. Believe me."

"Ilia, tell me what's wrong with you?" Penelope was starting to really worry now.

The other engineer looked so frightened, like the lightest touch would make her jump. "I can't tell you. I can't, I can't." She was starting to get hysterical, so Penelope grabbed Illa's waving hands despite her wriggling around. "I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for, Ilia? You haven't done anything," Penelope stated, but Illa shrugged her hands off, so Penelope moved back slightly. There was something wrong, very seriously wrong, Penelope realized.

The Assistant Chief, still kneeling, made her voice take a stern note. "Tell me what's happened," Penelope ordered, but as Illa continued to cry, Penelope softened, "I can fix it, Ilia. Just tell me what's happened, and I'll fix it for you." A million possibilities rang through Penelope's mind: Illa's family was hurt, Illa attacked someone, Illa broke up with a boyfriend or girlfriend...

"If there could've been any other way, I would've done it. I swear," Illa begged.

"You aren't making any sense," Penelope said, but then Illa shakily stood from Penelope's bed.

Illa pulled out a phaser and aimed it at her.

"What are you doing?" Penelope asked, thinking Illa might have snapped.

"I'm sorry, Penelope," Illa said, tears still flowing freely, "but we need to go."

"I'm not going anywhere with that pointed at me," Penelope declared, crossing her arms and giving Illa a serious glare. "You need to calm down, put that away, and then we're going to Sickbay." Whatever had happened to Illa was causing her to act this way. Penelope was scared for her friend, and she hoped she got the weapon out of the engineer's hands before she could cause any real damage.

Wiping her eyes with the sleeve of her uniform, Illa shook her head sadly. "No, we're not. And you need to do as I say because the setting isn't on stun." Penelope blinked in disbelief. What the hell was Illa going on about? "We're going to go to the loading dock."

"No we're not."

"For once in your life, Penelope!" Illa shouted suddenly. "Do as you're told. I'm trying to save your life!" How could she save her life with a deadly phaser? Penelope took a step backward in fear. Illa's voice had lost the sympathetic edge from earlier, and was now colder than ice. "Now we're going to the loading dock, and you aren't going to make me use this."

A red alert started to sound across the ship, and Penelope let her eyes drift to the signal before drawing back to Illa. "What have you done, Ilia?" Penelope asked, trying to catch the woman's gaze but never attaining it.

"Go!" Illa ordered, setting the phaser up to blast at her.

"No."

And then she shot her, right at the heart.

* * *

It was officially the second time in Penelope's life that she'd woken up, despite believing she would never do so again. Her eyes fluttered, and her head throbbed even worse than before. In addition, her chest ached like a stunner had passed through it, and her right ankle felt like it might be broken. Her hands were also cuffed above her head in the most uncomfortable way imaginable. When her vision finally focused, Penelope realized she was definitely no longer on the _Enterprise_.

Penelope had built that ship up from bits and pieces, so she knew every nook and cranny of it, and this place was nowhere on her vessel.

"Are you awake?" a whispered voice made Penelope whip her head painfully to the side. It was Carol, looking so far from how she normally did it took a moment to recognize the science officer. Her perfectly pressed blue dress was wrinkled and torn on the shoulder, her face was sporting a soon to be black eye, there was bruises forming on her neck, and there was a fierce expression on her face that Penelope hadn't thought her capable of.

"Yeah," Penelope said quietly, her whole body protesting against the position she was in. "Where are we? What happened?" The last thing she remembered was Illa's face as she fired the phaser. Why had she done that? Why had she told her it was set to kill?

Carol shifted, rattling her restraints slightly. "I'll explain it all later. We need to get out, like now." The lack of explanation irritated her slightly, but Penelope tried to let it not overtake her.

"Get out?" Penelope asked, pointedly looking up at Carol's similarly bound hands. "How'd you plan to do that?"

Carol finally dropped her intense gaze, glaring down at the dark flooring in what Penelope assumed was the Brig of the vessel. "Haven't quite worked that out yet," she admitted. Penelope took the time then to glance more closely at their surroundings.

The room was dimly lit, but Penelope's eyes could see comfortably through the darkness. There were other spots for people to be restrained lining the walls, but only Carol and herself were currently prisoners. Walls lay bare of decoration save for the cuffs, and the whole place seemed made to hold people. It was different than the Enterprise's Brig, in that there was no window in the room, and the pristine whiteness was replaced by the cool black of the floor, walls, and ceiling.

Judging by the technology in the room, of which there appeared to be little, Penelope had to guess the ship was dated. The fact that Penelope could feel the rumble of the engines beneath her feet only gave further proof to her hypothesis, and so she felt slightly reassured in thinking there was no security holo-system in the room. If there were, the tech would be visible. Penelope hoped.

"Carol, is there a guard outside?" Penelope asked, motioning to the door that almost blended entirely into the wall on the far side of the room. Carol followed her gaze.

"Probably. I didn't really get a good look at the place before they put us in here," the science officer replied, "and I have to assume they're monitoring us." Penelope shook her head, but didn't expand on the topic.

"Can you move your feet?" Penelope said quietly. She would do this herself, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea to irritate her ankle. Carol nodded in response. "I need you to stretch over and press the left side of my boot."

"Why?" the science officer questioned, still doing what Penelope had said.

As Carol fumbled her own feet over, Penelope answered. "I have this thing where I..." she trailed off, a bit embarrassed, "I keep this wrench with me all the time. It's an old habit, but it's about to come in handy." Please don't ask, please don't ask, please don't ask –

"Is that why Scotty calls you Wrenchy?" Carol asked curiously.

Penelope sighed. "Maybe you should focus on the shoe thing," the Assistant Chief suggested, keeping her own foot in a strategically placed position beneath her own restraint. Carol's foot finally reached her own, and Penelope instructed her to press firmly on the bottom of the side. While she did that, Penelope started to cough quietly, then more loudly to cover up the noise of the sonic tool.

A clear click echoed through the chamber, and Penelope brought her wrists down to rub them. They were sore, and her shoulders ached fiercely, but the engineer forced herself to focus on escape. She reached down to her boot, being careful not to jostle her right one in the hopes that it would save her from pain, and grabbed the wrench from her sock.

She brought it up above Carol's head and pressed the switch the other woman had unknowingly pushed before. The restraints on the science officer's wrists released her, and she too tried to rub the soreness away. "I may have to get one of those," Carol whispered, going forward towards the door quietly. There was no way to open it from the inside that either officer could see.

"Here's what we're going to do," Carol said, coming back over to Penelope. They bent their heads together and spoke in quiet tones. "I need you to unattach the chain from one of those restraints. Then, pretend to be hurt. Just scream really loud and ask for help. I'll wait off to the side and do the rest." Penelope nodded, using her wrench to unhinge the tool for Carol. The science officer grabbed it and then gave her a thumbs up.

Penelope let out a terrified scream, then a louder one. "Please. Please! Hello? Someone, please!"

"Be quiet!" a voice yelled from outside. Whoever it was sounded a touch frantic. Trying not to grin with relief that someone actually responded, Penelope continued.

"Please! I need help. The other woman, she's just collapsed! I don't think she's breathing," the engineer called, using her fear to make her pleas seem more real. She could hear a rustling from outside the room, and then the door slid open to reveal a Klingon man. The moment he stepped in, Carol jumped from the side and wrapped the chain around his throat until he passed out. She grabbed his phaser, an ancient brand – definitely not Federation, and the rest of the tools on his body.

Penelope was impressed with the precision Carol had rendered the alien unconscious, but then she _was_ a weapons specialist. She just never thought that included choking someone with a chain until they fell to the ground, but she supposed she didn't know everything about Carol's job parameters.

The door remained open due to the Klingon's prone form lying in between the hallway and the Brig. Carol was fiddling with the man's communicator, probably trying to signal the Enterprise, but Penelope was too caught up contemplating the unconscious man. Were they on board a Klingon vessel? Why had they been brought here? And how? Carol hadn't answered her earlier, but Penelope wanted answers.

"Carol, what the hell's going on?" Penelope asked as Carol tossed her the phaser, apparently preferring the chain. She examined the weapon more closely, thankful there was a stun choice. She'd heard rumors that Klingon weapons only had kill settings.

"It's a long story," Carol started.

"Better get started then," Penelope requested as they both made a careful move to leave the room. Penelope looked out first, but the hallway was devoid of any other guards or crew. The Starfleet officers left slowly, as Penelope had to drag her right foot along, and they were unsure of what they'd encounter.

"We're on an old Klingon vessel," Carol whispered in her ear as they went, "They said they were a splinter group from the empire. They sounded fanatic when they contacted the Bridge." There was a small elevator at the end of the hall, and while Penelope was wary to enter it, it seemed the only way out of the level.

"Our phaser banks were dead. Scotty said someone from inside the ship must have disabled them, and because we were changing the dilithium chambers, or something like that,we weren't able to move away from the other ship," Carol continued, with a touch of hysterics to her voice. The circumstances of the day were perfect for attack, Penelope realized. They were in a relatively uninhabited quadrant of space, but only the crew had known about the engineering changes...

The pair was in the elevator, and Penelope tried to instruct the lift to go to the loading dock. There were likely shuttles in there, and Penelope didn't think she'd be able to find or operate whatever transport system the ship contained. There was no response from the computer, until Carol pulled out some strange badge she'd taken from the Klingon. "What about this?" she offered.

Penelope grabbed it and placed it on a small screen to their left. A green scanner ran over it, and then the whole elevator lit up. Though the darkness of the walls and floor were still off-putting, the light from over head allowed Penelope to start inspecting the system. It _was_ dated, and the controls seemed slightly different from Federation vessels.

"So we were attacked?" Penelope asked as she tried to find a way to move the elevator.

Carol nodded. "They were trying to take the Enterprise."

"Take it?" Penelope looked upwards and found a set of buttons that might have been floor numbers. "Do you know any Klingon?" she asked the weapons specialist. Carol shook her head. Penelope sighed, but she knew most loading docks were near the bottom of any ship, but not dead last. She tried pushing the second to the bottom, hoping she wasn't wrong.

"Can you get through to the _Enterprise_ with that?" Penelope motioned towards the Klingon's communicator that Carol was still adjusting. The elevator was moving down, and with each level they passed, a window showed them the space outside. Penelope could see the Enterprise a little ways away, and a sinking feeling started to work through her body.

"I'm trying," Carol insisted with hurry. "And they said they were going to take our ship, to use it and I don't know, reverse engineer it probably. But Jim, he told them he'd have Scotty blow up the _Enterprise_ before they could get their hands on it. They were already on board, in the Bridge, and somehow they knew we were together, so they grabbed me, threatened me."

Penelope blinked in surprise as they reached the intended floor. "They took you as a... bargaining chip? A hostage?" The engineer leaned her head out, looking for signs of a shuttle room, but it looked like a place for crew quarters. She came back in and hit the next button up.

"The Klingons thought if they hurt me, then Jim would back down," Carol said quietly.

Penelope felt realization run through her. "But he didn't," the Assistant Chief stated. Carol shook her head.

"So they beamed me aboard here, and took me to that room. You were already there, unconscious. They said they'd give Jim a while to re-think his decision, but each hour he refuses to call Scotty off, they said they'd kill a crew member."

"How long's it been since you got here?"

"About an hour at least, probably more," Carol guessed. That meant someone was dead, and that was painful to hear.

The third floor up looked more promising than the one beneath, so Penelope exited first with the phaser, and Carol followed close behind. The hallway was long and skinny, and still there were no Klingon crewmembers in sight. "Where's the crew? Security?" Penelope said. A door was opened wide further ahead, so Penelope made a signal for Carol to be quiet and stay. The engineer inched forward, biting back a groan at the pain of her ankle.

Penelope peered into the room, phaser clutched tightly in hand, and was greeted by the sight of dead Klingons. There were so many of them, twenty or thirty, all scattered around the floor. It looked like an engine room. It was horrifying. They were just lying there, as though one moment they'd been working and in the next had been killed. Was the guard outside the Brig the only living crewmen left aboard the ship? Why would only he be spared? Had someone just not had enough time to get to him?

She brought her head back and motioned for Carol to come forward. The science officer approached quietly, leaning her head up to Penelope's. "What's in there?"

"Nothing, let's just keep going," Penelope advised, passing by the room. She was sure Carol looked in anyways, but Penelope continued forward. At the end of the hall was a staircase and a sign she couldn't read. "I think this might be it," Penelope called back to Carol. With hope spurring her on, Penelope tried to make it down the stairs with as little pain as possible for her ankle, but to little effect.

At the bottom there was another door, which was accessed by the clearance badge from the Klingon. It opened into the hangar. "This is it," Penelope breathed, noticing a few shuttle-crafts lining the large, spacious room.

"Penelope," Carol began in a careful tone, "Why were you on this ship? What happened to you?"

Penelope could remember Illa crying, telling her she was sorry, pulling out a phaser and aiming it at a kill spot.

"Penelope?" Carol said.

What other reason could there have been for the apologies? But how could she? How could the silly, twenty-two year old engineer have been apart of something like this? Why?

Penelope motioned to the small craft, looking around for a way to open the doors. "Help me find something so we can get in there," Penelope instructed. "And I think the plan to take the _Enterprise_ has been a long time coming." The Chief and Penelope had chosen Illa when the reconstruction had begun, and the E Section Head knew that ship as well as Penelope did. How long had the Klingons been planning the attack?

 _Is this what betrayal feels like,_ Penelope wondered, _a sick burning in her throat and stomach that hurt more than any broken bones or stab wounds._

 _"_ What do you mean?" Carol asked, but the engineer never replied.

Together, Penelope and Carol got the shuttle open and quickly got inside of it. Carol immediately went to the controls, switching on the power and presumably setting a course for the _Enterprise_. As Penelope plopped down into the co-navigator seat, pieces of the puzzle began to lock in within her mind.

The way Illa never spoke of her family, the way she'd been insistent about the new security system and the way she'd bypassed Scotty and focused in on Penelope – who knew far less about weapons systems than the Chief, the argument with Gus, the mysterious disappearance at Starbase 34, the curiosity about Carol and the captain's relationship...

It was all coming together, and Penelope thought she might puke.

Illa had refused a physical, claiming it was due to McCoy's bedside manner. But had it been? Was Illa even human, or was she Klingon? Like Penelope, Illa claimed to have gotten hers done before boarding the ship. How long had Illa been lying to them? From the very beginning?

And who had killed all the people on the ship? Did the Klingons on board the _Enterprise_ know? Had there been a rescue attempt from Penelope and Carol's ship? But then where were they? Still searching?

These questions raced faster and faster through her thoughts as Penelope helped Carol start the shuttle and lift it into the air. "How do we open up the dock's doors?" Carol asked, but Penelope didn't know. She had believed they'd be able to do it from inside the shuttle, but the controls were different than the ones Cadets used for mandatory flight lessons.

Then a voice crackled through the shuttle's comm systems. "Pe-lope?"

Carol and Penelope shared a confused look before Carol attempted to contact the source of the message. "Hello? Who is this?" Carol asked over the communications system.

"Penelope," Illa's voice rang clearer this time. "Carol. I'm sorry."

"Illa?" Carol asked, optimism clear from her tone. "Illa? Are you here? Where are you?" The loading dock door's were opening into space, and it wasn't Carol or Penelope who had done it. "Illa?" Carol repeated.

"Leave. Please, go."

"Illa? We don't understand what's happening," Carol stated, a plea for explanation implied by her tone.

"Is Penelope there?"

Carol looked over at her, but Penelope had put too many things together, and she wasn't going to respond. "Yes. She's here."

"Penelope, get Carol and yourself out of here," Illa instructed, her voice hurried and filled with emotion. "Get to the _Enterprise_ , and take it back from them. They'll have no help from this ship. The Empire doesn't affiliate with them, at least not officially. They'll be on their own, stranded."

"I don't understand," Carol interrupted. "Illa, where are you? Can you get to us?" Their shuttle remained floating, even though the exit was dead in front of them.

Illa ignored the science officer. "There's only a handful of them on the _Enterprise_. The rest are here."

"Illa -" Carol started.

"Go!"

Penelope took the controls from Carol and began flying the shuttle out of the hangar. She put up every shield the small craft could manage, and kept low as they sailed across from the Klingon ship. The _Enterprise_ was about ten minutes away, but Penelope veered off and went the long way around instead of straight ahead. "Hey, what are you doing?" Carol protested, trying to wrench back the flight capabilties. "Illa's still back there."

"Penelope," Illa crackled through the comm, "I know you probably hate me."

"Someone explain to me what the hell is going on here!" Carol exclaimed, but Penelope was overriding her control and flying the shuttle without her help.

"They threatened my family. They told me they would kill them, kill me, if I didn't help them. I had to do this."

Carol was crying through the eye that wasn't puffed and slowly blackening. "We need to go back!"

"I'm sorry, and thank you both, so much."

"Stop it, Penelope. Stop!"

"I was, and always will be, your friend."

Communication broke out, and in the back windows, Penelope and Carol watched as the Klingon ship exploded from within. The blast rocked the shuttle and pushed them forward. Bits of shrapnel were flying towards them at alarming speeds, but Carol wasn't moving, and Penelope needed her to be.

"Carol," Penelope called, swerving through and trying to outrun the exploding ship. "Carol, I need your help."

"But Illa … she was on that ship," Carol said in an absent tone, stunned maybe by what had just happened.

"I know, and now it's blown up. _And I need you right now,_ " Penelope pleaded. She had barely passed the shuttle simulators, and nothing in those tests had ever been as real as the problem they now faced. "Dr. Marcus, please."

The use of her title seemed to pull the weapons specialist from her state, and Carol turned around in her navigator seat. "All right," Carol said, though quietly enough that Penelope wondered if she was just talking to herself. "All right, let's do this."

"We need to go around to the _Enterprise_ 's loading dock. This is from the Klingon's ship, so if there are any of their crew in there, we'll pass as one of them until we get out of the shuttle," Penelope explained, doing her best to keep the shields maintained as Carol took over the more daring moves they were making to evade the ship pieces.

"But how are we to get inside the shields?" Carol asked.

"The same way the rest of the Klingons got there," Penelope said, "Like I was saying, the loading dock. Illa installed some new security there that I think allowed the Klingons to bypass the shields and emergency protocols."

"Illa?"

"It's a long story," Penelope repeated Carol's words from earlier. "one I don't really understand yet. But the point is we _can_ do it. The Klingons there are probably confused and worried because their ship was just destroyed. If the captain hasn't already taken back control on his own, we make our way from the loading dock into the Bridge and do it for him."

"How did Illa do that?" Carol wondered as they closed in on the Enterprise.

"I don't know, but I also know that our ship's in a lot better position now than it was before."

"Illa saved us."

Penelope shook her head angrily. "Illa got us into this mess in the first place, if that even is her real name."

"She's dead, Penelope," Carol reminded, as though Penelope hadn't just watched the same thing she had.

"She was a spy," Penelope told the science officer, "And just because she changed her tune in the end doesn't mean tons of Federation technology hasn't passed from her hands into the Klingon's." It didn't exonerate her from the fact that she'd made Penelope trust her. It didn't change the way she'd lied to Penelope for more than a year, or that she'd played expertly on Penelope's weaknesses. It made no difference.

Carol said nothing more, and Penelope was fine with that because they were headed into the _Enterprise_ 's own hangar. The science officer brought them down slowly, and seeing no Klingons in the room relieved Penelope of her worst fears. As the shuttle settled, Penelope and Carol exited the craft, weapons out.

The familiar brightness of the _Enterprise_ 's interior was a welcome change from the other ship. As soon as they started walking, or pathetically limping in Penelope's case, over to the elevator connected to the loading dock, the captain's voice blared over the intercom. Penelope watched as Carol's eyes gathered with tears as the captain spoke.

"Attention all crew," the captain spoke. Penelope and Carol got into the elevator, and the engineer told it to go up to the Bridge. "The Klingons have been neutralized, their ship destroyed, and we have now contacted Starfleet command. If you are able, report to your commanding officer for orders. If you are seriously injured, report to Sickbay. The medical team is standing by. Captain out."

Neither Carol nor Penelope spoke as the elevator rose. Penelope felt drained, like she wanted to sleep for the next five years. Her emotions flickered between anger, indignation, irritation, and a melancholy that threatened to take control. She didn't know how to process all that had happened, or what to do about it now.

When the lift's doors opened and the pair of officers stepped out, everyone on the Bridge turned to look at them. Penelope ignored their gazes, instead looking around. There were a few Klingons on the ground, dead or simply unconscious, Penelope wasn't sure. Scotty was nowhere in sight, and the Alpha shift seemed relatively unharmed.

"Carol?" the captain asked in disbelief. "How did you – why – I thought, I thought you were on that ship?"

Carol took a few steps forward, her hands still holding the metal chain, while Penelope used the sure-to-be dramatic reconciliation as a chance to lean against the back wall, easing the weight off her ankle. She hoped they would just hug or kiss or something so Penelope could interrupt and ask to return to Engineering. Goodness knew Scotty was probably having a fit down there without her.

Carol was now standing beside him, next to the command chair. "We were," the science officer informed Kirk, "But we got out before it..." Carol trailed off, her eyes darting back to the window.

"We?" Kirk questioned, his eyes darting back to where Penelope stood, as though just noticing that she was also there.

Seeing a chance to escape, Penelope addressed the captain. "Excuse me, sir, but I think Dr. Marcus is capable of giving you a report on our escape from the ship. At this time, I think I would be better -"

"No one's going anywhere, Lieutenant, until I start getting some answers," the captain interrupted, his tone much harsher than before. The first officer stepped forward to stand beside Kirk.

"I would have to agree with your reasoning, Captain, as there is no logical explanation as to why Lieutenant Waters was on the Klingon vessel." Were they implying Penelope had been the mole? Anger welled up inside of the Assistant Chief, overtaking exhaustion and sadness.

Carol held up a hand at Spock. "She hasn't done anything, sir. We escaped the ship together," the weapons specialist tried to explain. Most of the Bridge either appeared completely confused or unconvinced. Penelope kept silent, knowing that defending herself might make things even worse.

"We saw them take you, but why was Waters there?" Kirk asked.

"I," Carol started, "I don't exactly know, but Lieutenant Illa -"

"Wait, Illa?" Kirk said.

"Yes, the weapons head in Engineering. She helped us. She's the one who destroyed the Klingon ship," Carol reasoned, "But Penelope said Illa had been a spy for them." Everyone's eyes swiveled to Penelope, and she wished for nothing more than to disappear.

"How did you come to that conclusion, Lieutenant?" Spock asked. Penelope stared blankly at him for a while, not quite believing the suspicion in his tone.

"I was threatened in my quarters by Illa after breakfast. She stunned me with a phaser, and I woke up with Carol in the Brig," Penelope said finally.

"You were alone in your quarters with Illa? There were no witnesses?" Kirk asked.

Carol gave him an incredulous stare. "You can't be serious, Jim."

"I was," Penelope responded.

"So Illa stunned you and brought you aboard the vessel?" Kirk continued.

"I suppose."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I just said I didn't."

A pregnant silence filled the Bridge, and Penelope fought the urge to fidget under the combined stares of all the crew. To calm herself, Penelope glanced out the window, the Klingon ship still disassembling in the distance, and she wondered for a moment how Illa had felt as she'd been killed. Had it hurt? Had she been scared? Why had she done it? Similar questions had occurred to Penelope after her mother had died, but this was different, and it wasn't supposed to hurt the same because Illa had betrayed them all. So why did it feel so similar? Like she was losing herself all over again?

The elevator doors opened and shut, and then Scotty was standing behind her. He either didn't notice the tension in the room, or didn't care, as he slapped her on the back. "Wrenchy! Where have ya been? We've been looking all over for ya," the Chief exclaimed. As Scotty examined the Bridge more closely, he apparently took the time to sense the mood. "Have I missed something?"

"Mr. Scott, you said someone in Engineering had been the one to disable the phasers?" the captain questioned, his gaze still trained on Penelope. "That it was likely someone in your staff who had sabatoged the ship?"

Scotty looked confused. "Aye, sir."

"Have you now taken a roll-call of all engineering personnel?" Mr. Spock joined in.

"I have."

"And were there any missing from your crew?"

Penelope watched as the reason for the interrogation dawned on the Chief Engineer. "Just Illa and Wrenchy," Scotty replied softly.

"They are known to be friends, are they not, Mr. Scott?" the first officer inquired, the meaning clear from his words.

"Now hold on just one minute," Scotty replied sharply, "I don't know what exactly you mean to imply, Mr. Spock, but if I know anything, it's that Wrenchy would never endanger this ship."

Scotty was now standing between her and the rest of the Bridge, and something sprung up in Penelope's chest at the sight. No one had ever taken that place before and acted as a buffer between Penelope and the world, and it reminded her that Scotty was perhaps, above all else, her friend.

The first officer lifted an eyebrow, the only outward sign of any emotion. "If the data this Bridge had been given is correct, then you have employed, within the _Enterprise_ 's Engineering crew, at least one Klingon spy. Even if you were unaware of this -"

"I was," Scotty stated.

"- the fact remains that your judgment as Chief Engineering Officer is in question. That you imply your Assistant Chief Engineer is free from guilt is irrelevant, as you are not a reliable source of information on this matter."

Scotty looked to the captain, realizing he would get nowhere with Spock. "I trust Wrenchy with my life, sir. Ya have to believe she had nothing to do with this."

Kirk's face was much less impassive than his first officer's, and he looked pain as he answered Scotty's plea. "Scotty, you have to understand the way this looks."

"I understand, Jim, but I'm telling ya: Wrenchy didn't do anything."

The captain sighed, looked at Carol, and then rubbed a hand over his face. Everyone was waiting around, expecting him to make a decision. _It must be hard_ , Penelope thought. "All right, here's what's going to happen. Spock," Kirk said, addressing the first officer, "you'll escort Lieutenant Waters to Sickbay so that Bones can look her over. If she was really stunned by a phaser, he'll be able to tell us. We'll review footage from the ship's logs and corroborate Waters's story. But I want two security posted on her until then."

Spock dipped his head, hands clasped behind his back. "Yes, Captain." The first officer stepped forward, motioning for her to enter the elevator first. As she started to go into the lift, Scotty made a move to follow.

The captain shook his head. "Mr. Scott. I need you on the Bridge," Kirk reminded, stopping Scotty dead in his tracks. Scotty met her gaze, apology in his blue-grey eyes as he turned back around to face the captain.

"Carol, you go to Sickbay as well," the captain's voice had lowered as he spoke to the weapons specialist as well. Carol protested.

"I'm quite alright," the science officer stated with confidence. At that, the captain said something even more quiet, so Penelope couldn't catch what was spoken. Whatever it had been, it made Carol sigh and move away towards where Spock and Penelope stood. The three then entered the elevator and went down to Sickbay.

Despite its brevity, the ride there was strained. No one spoke, but Penelope felt extremely uncomfortable at the situation. She had never been so unsure about her place aboard the _Enterprise_ , but suddenly, her life was under scrutiny, her decisions magnified and analyzed. In particular, Penelope's meeting with Dr. Robinson two weeks previous might cast her as mentally unstable.

Everything she had done since taking the posting as Scotty's Assistant Chief would now be under question, and Penelope didn't know if the truth would be able to withstand the pressure.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for the views and reviews, follows and all! I'm a bit behind on writing this, so be prepared for longer sequences between updates. Really super nice of you all to review, like please keep doing it, pleeaasseee... Also, rest in pieces Illa, I hope ya'll weren't too disappointed with that. I always wanted to put her in more scenes before this, but they never seemed to fit, and I wanted it to be like a whaaaa moment! Anyways, t** **his is the conclusion to the last chapter, and then we're moving on.**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 11 – The Realization, Part II**

Sickbay wasn't very busy, which either meant something very good or very bad. After all, a Klingon attack should mean biobeds filled with crewmembers and the CMO yelling at everyone for being idiots. Instead, McCoy was waiting near the entrance to the medical center, and only two crew were being treated by another doctor and a few nurses.

"The captain filled me in," the doctor said upon seeing them. The two security guards, Thomas and Harry, had joined the trio as soon as they had left the elevator. Their stony faces were directed nowhere near the engineer, and she wondered if they thought she'd betrayed the ship. Even if she was proven innocent, nothing would ever be the same on the ship again. Not for Penelope.

McCoy motioned for her to sit on one of the biobeds in the corner, and Carol was directed over to one right next to the engineer. Thomas took a spot by the door, while Harry stood at the end of Penelope's bed. Spock left without a word once they were settled, his orders completed.

"Lie down," the CMO instructed Penelope as he went over to Carol. Shocked at the lack of bite in his tone, Penelope laid down gingerly in the biobed. With the adrenaline draining from her body, the Assistant Chief started to feel all her injuries more severely. Looking over at Carol, Penelope watched as the doctor rubbed a salve very carefully on the science officer's eye and on her neck. Then he took out a series of tools to look her over, completely silent the entire exam.

While the doctor took his time healing Carol, Penelope let her eyes rest on the smooth white ceiling. Someone came over to take some of her readings, but it wasn't McCoy, so she kept her eyes upwards. Her thoughts drifted to the ceiling on her childhood bedroom, the bumps and cracks of the thing. It had character, and Penelope liked to make faces and shapes from the ridges. She could do nothing but stare hopelessly at this one.

McCoy came over to her wordlessly, running a medical tricorder over her body. The lack of argument or insult spoke volumes to Penelope on where they stood with each other. He, too, had thought the engineer sabotaged the ship. It stung more than she believed it should.

"You had a nasty stunner thrown at you," the CMO finally said, relief tinging his voice and the device over her heart. Penelope didn't respond, choosing to continue her ceiling watch. Her boot and sock had been removed, and her pants had been rolled up. McCoy called for something to fix her ankle, and then he gave her a hypo to the neck. "I just gave you a pain regulator. It's going to keep you numb while we heal the bone," he explained.

The pain left her body at an unnatural speed, and Penelope's green eyes stayed fixed on the ceiling as a ringing from the machine filled her ears. It stopped about a minute later, and McCoy was telling her to take it easy for a few days: no running, skipping, jumping... She stopped listening, his voice blending into all the others in Sickbay.

Carol started to say something, but Penelope still wasn't listening. It was much easier just to stare upwards and relax.

She remembered installing the new beds in Sickbay, fitting a personal replicator into the CMO's office, hooking the lightening system into the power. The ship had been in such a state after _Vengeance_ 's attack, and Penelope recalled the image of it split in half – one end in the air, the other flat on the ground.

Like a cookie with a bite out of it, she'd thought.

* * *

"Is she awake?" the captain asked. Penelope blinked quickly, eyes roving around and bouncing from McCoy to Carol to Spock to Kirk. The captain and the first officer stood side by side at the end of her bed, and Harry and Thomas were nowhere in sight. McCoy sat on a stool between Penelope's biobed and Carol's. She must have fallen asleep, the numbness from the drugs lulling her into rest. Sitting up, Penelope felt her body protest. Her shoulders ached, either from the restraints earlier or from the position she had slept in or both.

Penelope leveled the captain's gaze with a blank expression.

"The ship's security holos show Lieutenant Illa entering your quarters soon after Scotty came to get you for breakfast," Kirk stated. It seemed so long ago for Penelope now: that morning when her most pressing issue was a killer hangover and a smug Chief. "They show you later enter the room, and then neither of you are seen leaving it."

 _Some type of transporting device? But from within her rooms? And hadn't Illa wanted to go to the loading dock?_

McCoy piped up, "At the very least, her exam shows she did have a stunner used on her sometime this morning, going by the residual effects left in her body. And the type of residue is consistent with a standard issue Starfleet phaser."

"Be that as it may, Doctor," Spock returned, "There is no evidence to prove the identity of who fired the phaser at Lieutenant Waters. It could just as easily have been a crew member's response to an attack from the Lieutenant."

"Well then where's the holos showing that?" McCoy defended.

The captain nodded. "If that'd happened, someone would have seen it in the holos, or someone would have come forward with a report."

"I have also reviewed the shuttle communications between Lieutenant Illa from the Klingon ship to Science Officer Marcus and Lieutenant Waters. Lieutenant Illa implied that she worked for the Klingons under duress," Spock said, "but she addressed you in her communications, Lieutenant Waters, almost entirely. She assumed that you would hate her."

Carol, with a white bandage wrapped around her eye, shifted in her bed. "Mr. Spock, I don't see how that puts Penelope in any position for suspicion."

"The question that remains," the first officer replied, "is the action for which Lieutenant Waters would despise her for: the betrayal of the _Enterprise_ or the betrayal of the Klingon ship. Lieutenant Illa appears to have committed both."

The captain's eyes were still trained on Penelope, even as the first officer continued. "Much of what we believe Lieutenant Illa to have accomplished as a spy aboard this vessel could have been done with a partner. Lieutenant Waters was known to be close to Lieutenant Illa, and the security system which allowed this attack to occur was overseen by both Lieutenants."

Penelope's blood was boiling within her at the accusations, but she needed to remain calm, to not respond.

"Though admittedly Lieutenant Waters's transmissions and actions are more closely monitored than the average Starfleet officer, her involvement with the plot to destroy the Enterprise is both plausible and logical, based on our evidence. Her criminal record also suggests -"

"Don't," Penelope hissed, her eyes drawing up to stare into the Vulcan's dark pupils.

"Your tendency towards negative emotions indicate -"

Penelope snorted loudly and obnoxiously, cutting off the first officer again.

"Do you have something to say, Waters?" the captain asked.

Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't...

"Yeah, I do," the Assistant Chief spat, "Your first officer can say whatever he likes about actions I've done while on the _Enterprise_ , but no way either of you can think what he's talking about holds any," she paused, trying to collect herself, "any relevance to what's going on now."

Spock raised an eyebrow at her. "I fail to see -"

"I wasn't talking to you." The eyebrow rose even higher on his forehead.

"Lieutenant, your lack of control only shows to what degree you are capable of committing the crimes in question."

"How can you talk to me about control?" Penelope asked in anger. "I seem to recall an instance where you almost _killed_ the captain, your then first officer. But no one accuses you of being a spy. And speaking of our dear captain," Penelope continued, turning to Kirk, "You're not the only one who does research on their crewmates. If what I read is true, then I'm not the only one here with a criminal record." Her mention of their fight a while back was perhaps not the best event to bring up, but she couldn't help calling out their hypocrisy.

The captain's body seemed to tighten, and the first officer's eyebrows were no longer raised, but furrowed.

"So I was friends with Illa? So I worked with her?" Penelope ranted. "So what? It's the two of you who signed off on her transfer to this ship, and it's Scotty who has the final say on all Engineering projects. I even think he signed the security system permission from Illa in front of the captain. You think this is on me, well it's not. It's on all of us."

She took a deep breath and met the captain's piercing eyes.

"I'm here on this ship to pay what's due. That's all.

I'm willing to accept punishment when I've done something wrong, but I have done _nothing_ but follow my training: I resisted attack, I escaped imprisonment, I returned to the ship to help in its counterattack when I could've taken that shuttle to the nearest starbase.

You say it's logical for me to try and hurt this ship, this crew," Penelope finally addressed to Spock, "Then you know nothing of who I am."

Everyone looked on in stunned silence, and now that all the bottled up emotion had spewed from her mouth, Penelope could feel regret pumping through her. She usually spoke less in a week than she had in the past two minutes, but in this case, she'd lost it.

"Waters makes some good points, Spock," Kirk said finally, ending the extremely uncomfortable silence in their corner of Sickbay. The first officer's face revealed nothing, but Spock then motioned for the captain and McCoy to follow him inside the CMO's office. As they left, McCoy shot her a look over his shoulder that seemed to say: _get outta that biobed and you're dead_.

Penelope lifted herself out of the bed when they were all out of sight, noticing that her ankle felt delicate and her chest was still sore. The engineer rubbed at her heart, standing carefully with only one boot on. "Where are you going?" Carol asked as Penelope walked around.

"Nowhere," the Assistant Chief answered, "Need to find my shoe." Carol pointed helpfully to the stool on the right side of the science officer's biobed. Penelope hobbled over and grabbed the black boot before plopping down on the seat. Slipping the sock back on her foot, Penelope could feel Carol's gaze burning into her.

"Are you okay?" Carol said quietly.

Penelope paused, boot in hand. "Not really," she admitted, her tone neutral.

"They'll figure it out. I know you aren't what Spock says."

"How?" The loyalty was appreciated, but though Carol and Penelope were friendly, it didn't mean they were the closest people on the ship.

Carol blinked her uncovered eye down at her hands in thought. "Because you wouldn't do something like that. You're a good person, Penelope."

"No one's ever said that to me before," Penelope revealed, her voice shaky and slow with emotion as the sound of an automatic door opening overtook both officers' attention. The three men came out, each comically different in appearance. First Officer Spock was, as ever, completely devoid of emotion, Captain Kirk had put on an easy smile that looked completely faked, and the CMO returned to his normally grumpy self.

"Get your stupid ass back in bed, Waters," McCoy bit out, a vein throbbing on his forehead. Penelope stood from her stool and walked around to sit on the biobed, not wanting to listen to anymore of McCoy's ramblings. Her wish was not granted. "You put your shoe back on? You idiot! If we have to regenerate your goddamn bone again, then I'm not giving you any drugs."

As the doctor came forward to presumably attack her foot, Penelope pulled away. "I can do it," the engineer insisted quietly.

"There will be a formal investigation conducted by Starfleet," the first officer said as Penelope tugged off her boot, "but for now, Lieutenant, you are free to conduct your duties as Assistant Chief Engineering Officer." With that, the first officer strode from the room, his steps measured and precise.

Kirk shook his head at the first officer's retreating form. "We're headed for the Starbase 14. It's about two days out, and then Starfleet investigators will come aboard and inspect the ship. They'll do some interviews, review security holos, the works," the captain stated. "I don't believe you did anything wrong, Waters, but they're going to ask you questions, and I need you to cooperate. Best behavior and all that."

Penelope nodded as the CMO started poking at her ankle. "Yes, sir."

"Is Carol alright to leave?" Kirk asked McCoy.

The doctor looked over at the science officer. "Yeah, yeah. Just keep that bandage on for the next hour," he ordered. Carol stood out of bed with Kirk's help, but she let go of his hand almost immediately after standing. As the weapons specialist turned to the engineer, Penelope didn't think Carol saw the captain's face drop at her action.

"Thank you," Carol said, "for getting us out of there. If I'd been alone, I don't know what I would've done."

Penelope shrugged. "You'd have been fine."

"Maybe," Carol replied. She came forward and placed a hand on Penelope's arm. "I meant what I said before." Penelope looked away, eyes fixed elsewhere. Eventually, the science officer pulled away, and then both she and the captain left Sickbay. Penelope and the CMO were the only ones left, and the doctor stood back up.

"Well it's not broken again," McCoy muttered. "Though I wish you'd do as you were told for once." Penelope thought he was exaggerating, as she almost always followed orders, but then those words brought her back to what Illa had said.

 _For once in your life, Penelope! Do as you're told._

The engineer shook the voice from her mind. "Can I go now?"

McCoy gazed at her with uncertainty. "I'd prefer it if you rested here for a while. At least in Sickbay, I can keep you from doing anything too stupid."

"I just want to go to my quarters." Be alone.

"You'll go straight there?" McCoy asked suspiciously. Penelope nodded once. "Alright, but you're not cleared for duty until we reach the starbase."

"What am I supposed to do for the next two days?"

"Sleep, eat, shut up," McCoy grumbled, "That stunner hit you right in your heart, which is serious enough on its own without the rest of what you and Carol went through. I especially don't want you around that Engineering Deck, you hear me?"

Penelope got up without another word, taking her shoe and sock along. The metal flooring felt cool on her bare skin, but it helped distract the engineer from her thoughts. All she wanted to focus on right then was getting back to her rooms. The halls of the starship were packed with people running around, and no one gave her a second glance as she entered an elevator filled with crew. Hers was the sixth stop, and only a few officers remained in the lift by then.

When the door to her room swished open, Penelope was struck with the memory of Illa, distraught and crying on her bed.

The engineer put down her boot neatly on the floor and looked up. There were things out of place: the bed wasn't made, the drawer to her bedside table was open, her computer dock was on. Someone had definitely been inside here to collect evidence, Penelope realized. Disturbed by the appearance of her quarters, Penelope stepped carefully into the bathroom. She shed her uniform and got into the shower unit, turning the water icy cold.

While she ran shampoo through her curls, Penelope's thoughts drifted back to Illa.

* * *

 _"What about her?" Scotty asked, tossing a file to where Penelope sat. They were in the makeshift meeting room on the Enterprise. To their left, the wall was ripped open, revealing the Californian construction yard. People milled around, and Keenser was just outside, climbing over some outer hull plating._

 _Penelope picked up the file tablet, a young face smiling up at her from the corner of the screen. The woman's light brown skin glowed, and her ice blue eyes twinkled as though she were in on some unknown joke. Her name was Ilia Illa, Junior Lieutenant, and a weapons engineer currently stationed on the U.S.S. Defiant._

 _Her grades at the Academy were flawless, her recommendations and references phenomenal. But knowing Scotty, Penelope thought there must be something she wasn't getting._

 _"She's only twenty-one," Penelope stated, flipping through the information with care._

 _Scotty put his legs up on the round table and crossed his ankles. He leaned back in the chair, sparing Penelope an amused glance. "I made you D Section Head at twenty-three."_

 _"I was almost twenty-four," Penelope defended. "And a few years can make a big difference." Scotty tilted his face up, hands laced behind his neck._

 _"Is that a no?" Scotty asked curiously._

 _Penelope looked down at Lieutenant Illa's amused face, her eyes blinking happily though the holo._

 _"I guess we have a new E Section Head," Penelope declared, throwing the file back at Scotty and watching with pleasure as he scrambled to catch it._

* * *

Some soap had dribbled down onto her face, and Penelope's eyes were stinging. The cold water beat at her back, and the engineer turned to get the shampoo out of her face.

* * *

 _It was the first time all the new section leaders had met, along with Penelope and Scotty. They were back in the meeting room, but this time, all the chairs around the table were filled: Rome, Yomai, M'Barrow, Talorak and of course, Illa._

 _Yomai and M'Barrow had returned to serve on the Enterprise, but their old A Section Head, Kesler, had retired. Penelope had vacated D Section to fulfill DeSalle's role as Assistant Chief, and Illa was replacing Uma, who like DeSalle, had died in_ Vengeance _'s attack over a month ago. The Maintenance Head, Lovett, was supposed to have come as well, but he'd commed in that morning as his son was ill. As he was a returning member, Scotty hadn't seen the harm in introducing the man to their newest section heads later on._

 _As Scotty led the meeting, Penelope's eyes flitted to and from each section head. Her gaze kept resting on Illa, who was the youngest there by far. She looked nervous, her leg shaking up and down to some unheard tempo. Penelope empathized with her situation. It could be intimidating trying to keep up with officers who seemed like they knew exactly what they were doing._

 _After a lengthy discussion about bringing in new engineers, contacting the old crew, sectioning up the duties, and trying to work out a schedule that fit best to everyone's needs, the Chief Engineer let them all take a break. Penelope noticed Illa hanging around, looking a bit lost. Shaking her head, the Assistant Chief went over to the other engineer._

 _"I'm getting coffee," Penelope informed Illa. The younger woman's eyes dashed to her face in an instant. "Want to come?"_

 _Illa beamed at her, making the engineer look even younger than she really was. "Yes!" Penelope huffed, wondering what on Earth she'd been thinking before leading them out of the still opened meeting room over to one of the cafeterias._

* * *

Penelope stood under the water flow, the cold temperature making her start to shiver. She couldn't bear to even move at that point. Everything seemed so pointless.

* * *

 _"Waters, psssssst," an annoying voice called from her right as she repaired the auxiliary power connector. "Hey, hello? Can you hear me?" Penelope could, but she was definitely not going to respond to the other engineer. It never ended well for her. "I know you can hear me. Let's get lunch!" Illa called happily._

 _"It's almost seven," Penelope informed Illa, taking the laser from her belt and holding it up to the multicolored wiring. "And shouldn't you be home?"_

 _"I knew you could hear me. Let's get dinner then," Illa said hopefully, ignoring Penelope's last question._

 _"I'm busy."_

 _"Soooooo?"_

 _"So I'm busy." This seemed to dampen Illa's mood, and even though Penelope wasn't looking at her, the Assistant chief could almost feel her frown._

 _"You're boring, Waters."_

 _"Thank you."_

 _There was a small pause, and Penelope hoped Illa would catch the hint. "So about that dinner. I could really go for a burger." Penelope's hand clenched painfully around the tool, and she turned to the E Section Head to tell her once and for all to go away. Illa was dressed in some large pants that were far too big for her frame, a plain white T-shirt, and had smudges of grease on her cheeks._

 _She looked like she was about twelve years old._

 _Sighing, Penelope admitted defeat. "Fine." Illa laughed, linking her arm around Penelope's and pulling her along._

 _"Everyone's coming, you know. Even Yomai. Isn't he so funny?"_

* * *

How long had she been lying to them? Even then? Penelope's legs shook, and she let herself drop to the floor of the shower. Her knees were pulled to her chest, chin resting on her them, and a hand gripping her forehead. How could she have been so stupid?

* * *

 _"Get down from there!" Scotty yelled up to Keenser as the alien engineer hung upside down from one of the catwalks. The Chief raced up the steps to grab at him, but Keenser swung easily away. He then proceeded to stand behind Penelope's legs. Scotty crossed his arms, standing in front of the two officers._

 _"So that's how it's going to be?" the Chief asked. "The captain's coming by today to see Engineering, and now you're both ganging up on me?" They had moved on from Engineering the day before, spreading out through the different decks of the_ Enterprise _. Captain Kirk was supposedly excited to see the new and improved Engineering sections._

 _Penelope sidestepped, leaving Keenser and Scotty to argue in their funny way. She took the stairs Scotty had just jogged up to head toward Sickbay. Illa caught up with her in the hallway to a makeshift lift system as the elevator wasn't up and running yet. "Waters! Someone's here to see you!"_

 _The Assistant Chief paused. "Where are they?" Illa led her down and out into the yard. Tommy was standing there, looking angry and out of place. "Thanks," Penelope muttered to the other engineer before approaching the teenager._

 _"What are you doing here?" Penelope asked in confusion. Transporters cost a considerable sum unless, like Penelope, one had Starfleet clearance._

 _Tommy scuffed his shoe in the dirt. "Can we talk somewhere else?" His eyes darted between Penelope and Illa. Illa shot her a knowing look and walked back into the ship. Penelope came forward, gripping the boy's shoulder._

 _"Come on."_

 _Once they were a little ways away from everyone else, Penelope demanded an explanation. Tommy appeared as uncomfortable as anyone Penelope had ever seen. "My dad's been gone for a while," the teenager finally admitted, switching to French._

 _Penelope started in surprise. "Gone? For how long?"_

 _"A couple weeks," Tommy admitted sheepishly._

 _"A couple weeks," Penelope repeated, her tone turning dangerous, "And why haven't you told me?"_

 _"He came back," Tommy said quickly, trying to appease her anger._

 _Penelope was beyond confused and irritated, existing in some space between the two emotions. She shot Tommy a_ look _, and he finally let it all burst out. "I don't know where he's been, you know how he is. He came home, but he's sick, Penelope. I didn't know what to do, so I tried going to you, but you weren't home, so I had to take some of your credits. I'm sorry, but I didn't know what to do, I didn't..."_

 _"It's okay," Penelope said, pulling Tommy close. "It's alright. I'll fix it. Just wait here for a second." As she walked away, the engineer turned around to face the teenager. "Seriously, don't run off." Tommy nodded, wiping a hand over his eyes. The Assistant Chief raced back down to the ship and ran into Illa._

 _"Can you tell Scotty I had to leave?" Penelope told the E Section Head in a rush._

 _Illa agreed. "Yeah, sure. Is something wrong?"_

 _"I'm fine. Just some family trouble. Tell Scotty I'll be back later." Penelope turned to go, but Illa grabbed her arm. The Assistant Chief twisted around quickly._

 _"Sorry," Illa said, letting go, "Just wanted to say be safe, and good luck."_

* * *

The water turned off, her water ration depleted, but Penelope continued to sit. Water droplets slid off her body, and now that there was no water flow, Penelope realized she was crying. There were tears building up and joining the water already on her cheeks. The hand on her head tightened in its grip, and she let out a sob.

How did Penelope Waters end up here? She'd just been some worthless kid on Earth, keeping to herself, and then suddenly, she was the Assistant Chief Engineering Officer on Starfleet's flagship.

That one day, back when she'd been seventeen, had changed everything. What she wouldn't give to go back there now, tell herself to just walk away. She'd never have met Johnny or Scotty or Illa or Keenser or Carol or George or any of the people she could admit to caring about, but she'd never have to feel the pain of having them ripped away.

 _"We need to go," Illa cried._

 _"Go where?" Penelope wondered softly._

 _Illa shook her head, beyond upset. "I'm so sorry, Penelope. Believe me."_

 _"Ilia, tell me what's wrong with you?"_

What had Penelope been thinking, that her place on the Enterprise was anything more than a job, a duty, a punishment? She was here for one reason, and she'd lost sight of that somewhere along the way.

 _"Penelope," Illa crackled through the comm, "I know you probably hate me."_

 _"Someone explain to me what the hell is going on here!" Carol exclaimed, but Penelope was overriding her control and flying the shuttle without her help._

 _"They threatened my family. They told me they would kill them, kill me, if I didn't help them. I had to do this."_

 _Carol was crying through the eye that wasn't puffed and slowly blackening. "We need to go back!"_

 _"I'm sorry, and thank you both, so much."_

 _"Stop it, Penelope. Stop!"_

 _"I was, and always will be, your friend."_

Penelope wouldn't forget ever again. Not after Johnny, not after Illa. It had to stop.

 _"I was, and always will be, your friend."_

No.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Thanks for reading!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 12 – In the Aftermath**

"Waters, do you wanna hear a joke?"

Penelope knelt down by B Section's artificial gravity generator. It had been giving the crew trouble for the past few days when in one of the mess halls, people and their food started floating up to the ceiling. Since then, even the Bridge had been occasionally affected, leading to one irate Captain and one stumped Assistant Chief. Her portable light fluttered into the machinery.

"Hey, Waters," George repeated from the catwalk above her, "I said do you wanna hear a joke?" Penelope put her head closer to the wiring of the unit, trying to discern the problem. Scotty had told her to not come back until the thing was fixed, since no one in B Section, even Yomai, could figure it out. Why Scotty couldn't come down and fix it himself, if he and the captain were so adamant about it being done, was a mystery apparently too complex for her simple understanding.

George sighed audibly from overhead. "You've been so pissy lately, Wrenchy. It's bumming me out." He used the nickname on purpose to get a reaction from her, so Penelope kept her focus on the problem at hand. The wiring appeared perfectly intact, so she shut out that area and continued on to the plasma powering unit.

"Waters, you can't keep your nose in that generator forever, and then you'll have to admit that you're hopelessly in love with me," George exclaimed loudly, drawing the attention of all the other B Section engineers, "We'll run away together and have twenty children and we'll name them all Scotty. Somehow they'll all have Scottish accents, and – hey, Commander Yomai, so nice to see you."

Penelope could hear Yomai's harsh voice echoing around. "Where are you supposed to be, Ensign?"

"You know, sir," George nervously laughed, deflecting the question, "I was just joking about all that." There was a long pause, and then George added, "One of them would definitely be named Yomai. Of course."

"Get back to your station, Ensign."

"Right. Yes, sir."

Penelope concluded that the plasma coils weren't the problem either. Frustrated, Penelope moved on to the electric propulsion operator. At first glance, the thrusters appeared normal, but when Penelope examined the area more closely, she realized that the link to core power was being halted by a misplaced cooling cap. It looked remarkably similar to a piece of the metal thrusters, so it was likely no one had noticed it. The Assistant Chief reached in ever so carefully and extracted the object, placing it gently down beside her on a cloth. Then she used a clamp to adjust the thrusters so that someone better suited could find a more permanent solution.

Flipping open her PADD, Penelope commed Yomai and informed him of the issue. After he acknowledged, Penelope cleaned up her hands, her tools, and the station. She headed to Scotty's office to start writing up the report, but when she arrived at her destination, there were more people than she'd expected. Scotty, the captain, and Lieutenant Sulu were all gathered around the Chief's desk. Judging by the trio's happy expressions, flushed cheeks, and the almost empty bottle of Romulan ale, Penelope assumed they'd been there for a while.

"Sir, the gravity's been fixed. It should be back to normal within the hour," the Assistant Chief informed Scotty. He blinked over at her, and both Sulu and the captain turned their faces in her direction.

"Good," Scotty hiccuped, "You're off, then?" Penelope nodded. No point trying to get any work done in the office anymore. "Have a nice night, lass." The Assistant Chief started to walk away, planning on doing the report in her quarters. "Oh wait!"

The engineer paused, turning around. Scotty chucked her a PADD, and Penelope caught it. At her questioning look, the Chief Engineer explained. "Gus left that in here during lunch. Could you run it back to him for me?" Under normal circumstances, Penelope would be irritated at doing errands for Scotty, but Penelope couldn't bring herself to care much.

"Yes, sir," Penelope said. She left the room without another word and took a steady pace down to E Section. Gus had been made the new E Section Head two months ago during Starfleet's formal investigation surrounding the Klingon attack.

Once the Enterprise had reached Starbase 14, Penelope had been brought into interrogation. The captain had accompanied her, and whenever the questioning got intense, Kirk would simply make some sort of arrogant response for her. It had gotten the man in some amount of trouble with the Admirality, but he hadn't seemed to care.

After a week, of which she spent almost the entirety under observation or questioning, Starfleet had declared her free from suspicion. Carol's testimony had also been taken, along with the entire _Enterprise_ crew. From what Penelope had heard and read, the attack had been orchestrated by a radical group of Klingons wishing to incite war on the Federation. Because they were supposedly not affiliated with the Federation-recognized Klingon government, though some claimed there were backdoor dealings between the two, the Federation and the Klingon empire had solved the issue through diplomatic talks and a new arms treaty.

Illa's case was still classified, but Kirk had taken her aside and told her all he could. Ilia Illa was a fabricated identity created by the warring faction to infiltrate the flagship and hand over Federation technology to the Klingon's. She had been placed in their path, and they had taken her aboard. Kirk informed her that there were suspicions of her heritage, that she may have been related to a retired Klingon war general. She was at least partially Klingon, and her human family had been threatened to coerce her into complying with the mission. In the end, she had turned against the Klingons, sabotaging their goal, killing most of their crew, and blowing up one of their ships while she remained inside.

Two crewmembers had died during the attack: Royce, from E Section Engineering, and Perry, from Security. Royce had been killed in a struggle with one of the Klingons, and Perry had been killed during the ultimatum issued by the attackers. Penelope struggled to understand what the point of their deaths were, and how to cope with the knowledge that it was partially her fault they were dead.

If she'd only caught on sooner, if she'd only have told Scotty to find someone else for E. But she didn't and she hadn't and that was what life was now. Upon reaching E Section, Penelope left the PADD in the hands of Ensign Gomez, and she promptly left the area. It took about five minutes to get from Engineering Deck to her quarters, and during that time, Penelope tried to keep her mind blank.

The lights came on instantly as she entered. "Computer. Dim lights," Penelope ordered. As the brightness lowered, Penelope glanced over at her computer, seeing a new message signaling in the corner. Penelope clicked on it, and the second communication she'd gotten from Tommy since leaving over five months ago sprung up.

 _I crashed the bike. My license is revoked for a month, but I'm fixing everything._

 _-Tommy_

Penelope supposed she should feel worried and angry at both the content and brevity of the communication, but instead she just exited the message and went to remove her uniform. Once dressed in more comfortable, Starfleet issued clothing, Penelope sat down on her perfectly made bedspread. The room was so quiet compared to the Engineering Deck, and the silence pervaded her senses in an odd way.

She'd wanted to start the report on the artificial gravity generator, but Penelope no longer had the energy for it. "Lights off." She was plunged into darkness, and Penelope laid down on her side. Eyes sliding shut, the Assistant Chief hoped for sleep. It had been difficult to find it since the Klingon attack, and Penelope continued to feel frustration at her lack of rest.

* * *

An hour later, Penelope felt no closer to sleep than she had during her shift. She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ever-smooth ceiling. Royce had been a troublemaker, Penelope recalled. He was always giving Illa grief, acting like a silly idiot. Perry had been more serious, taking his duties at Starfleet very solemnly. They'd worked out together a few times, and Penelope had appreciated his quietness. There were far too many crew aboard the _Enterprise_ that loved to talk.

Knowing she'd never fall asleep at that rate, Penelope decided to go running. She put her hair up in a tight bun and threw on some workout shoes. Exercise Room 1 had a large circular track, and after Penelope completed some warm-up stretches, she began a steady jog. There were only a few Security personnel around, as most of the crew were probably at dinner.

Yalmark was running opposite to her on the track, but neither tried to approach the other. Penelope tried not to think of anything at all, but her mind kept sinking into nostalgia. She remembered the way Royce had once thrown up on Scotty's shoes after a night of drinking with George and herself. She remembered running that same track in companionable silence with Perry. She hadn't known either crew member well, but she'd known who they were and what they were like, and it was hard not to blame herself when their faces came into her thoughts.

As Penelope sped up, the strain her body was under distracted her from any unbidden recollections. She could feel her heart pumping in her chest and the blood flowing through her veins. Her legs finally ached enough that the engineer slowed down to an easy jog, and then she stopped completely. She went over and leaned against one of the walls, catching her breath.

Having worked up an appetite, something that had also evaded her recently, Penelope went to the nearest mess hall. She slid in her meal card and ordered a sandwich and water. As soon as the water came out, Penelope drained the entire glass, wiping her mouth and getting it refilled. Sandwich and drink in hand, Penelope spotted Keenser alone at one of the corner tables.

It was late enough that there were only about ten other crew there, so the noise level was significantly hushed. Penelope slid into a seat opposite the other engineer. Keenser glanced up at her arrival, and then back down at his simple food rations. Penelope knew Keenser didn't need to eat often, yet almost always accompanied Scotty when the Chief had meals. It surprised her to see Keenser alone in a mess hall, but she didn't ask about it.

They ate in silence. Penelope was halfway through her (probably) ham sandwich when Keenser reached out and put a hand on her elbow.

"You remember that one time when everyone in Engineering spoke in Scottish accents for a week?" the engineer suddenly asked Keenser. He nodded, pulling his hand away to pick at his meal. "That was Johnny's idea. He told me to suggest it to DeSalle, and I tried to tell Johnny he'd never go for it. Johnny kept saying 'No, no, trust me, he'll do it'. So during one of those inter-section meals, me and Johnny, we went up to ask DeSalle, and then he just laughed."

Penelope felt herself smiling at the old scene, the muscles on her face feeling strained. "And then he made the order behind Scotty's back, remember? And everyone was doing their best to do the accent and not laugh. Scotty got so mad, claiming no one even sounded like him, and he was stomping around Engineering like a child." Penelope put down the sandwich, the smile still twitching at her lips.

"Things were so different back then, weren't they? DeSalle did such a good job, always knew what he was doing. Here I am, almost a year and a half in, and still I've got no clue," Penelope admitted, meeting Keenser's eyes. "Do you miss him? DeSalle?"

Keenser nodded his head once, eyes dropping down in a clear sign of sadness. "He was a good man. I don't know how he put up with half of what Scotty asked him to do." Keenser agreed, folding his arms. "I turned out to be pretty useless."

The other engineer didn't say anything, never did, but Penelope could sense his disagreement. "I am, though. Do you think … do you think Scotty would sign an assignment transfer?" The idea had flitted through Penelope's mind ever since Starfleet had let her go back to the _Enterprise_. She'd thought there was no future for her aboard the vessel. Just because the Admiralty claimed she was innocent didn't mean the rest of the crew would agree, but no one seemed to give her any trouble over it. Even so, Penelope could feel the passion for her job fadng quickly.

A fresh start, maybe on on Earth, would be better for her. She'd agreed to go on the five year mission to escape the monotony and the memories her home contained, but there'd been nothing but disaster after disaster for Penelope since she'd left planet. Johnny wasn't there to make it better or to make a joke out of the situation, and when she realized she'd been having George fill that role for her, the Assistant Chief had immediately put distance between them.

All she wanted was to do her job as an engineer, and instead she'd been: suspended from duties, close to assaulting her captain, ordered to see a counselor, betrayed by someone she had considered a friend, and accused of being a Klingon spy. Maybe this was her true punishment for nearly killing that man in the park.

But perhaps the last five years of her contract would be better served somewhere her incompetency would have less far-reaching effects.

Keenser shook his head violently at the question, so Penelope sighed and let the topic drop. Maybe he wasn't the best person to ask, but she didn't know who to go to for a second opinion. Everyone she wanted to ask had a biased perspective, and the ones who didn't were people Penelope didn't want to discuss something so sensitive with.

"Goodnight," Penelope said to the other engineer when she'd finished her meal. On her way out, she dropped her dishes in the cleaning bins. As she walked along the hall, Penelope passed by some crewmembers. One or two shouted out a greeting to her, and Penelope waved a hand back in a small motion.

The elevator took her back down to her quarters, and after taking a quick shower, Penelope changed again. She let her hair tumble around her shoulders in bouncy, wet curls. Clicking on an old holo-movie she remembered from when she was a teenager, Penelope curled in a ball on her bed. Her eyes blearily watched the story unfold in front of her. It was an action movie, with flying car chases and a renegade on a mission.

Sounds of phaser shots and rumbling engines put Penelope into a restless sleep.

* * *

When she awoke, the holo was at the starting screen, options flickering in the darkness. Penelope reached forward and shut the machine off, throwing the projector into her bedside table drawer. The computer informed her of the time, 0356, and Penelope knew there would be little hope in trying to go back to bed.

She threw on her uniform and work boots and headed down to the Engineering Deck. Once she arrived, Penelope entered Scotty's office. All three of the men from the night before were passed out, causing Penelope to shake her head. She came forward and shook the captain's shoulder lightly. The movement had him up and out of the chair in a flash, and Penelope took a step back in shock.

"Waters?" Kirk whispered, blinking around the room.

"Yes, sir," Penelope responded quietly. "I thought you might want to take yourself and Mr. Sulu back to your rooms." The captain's gaze fell upon her, and Penelope wondered if the man was still drunk because his cheeks were flushed.

"Yeah," he said slowly, "Yeah thanks." They stared at each other in a moment Penelope could only describe as odd, and then the captain went forward to grab Sulu. "Come on, man. Time to go to bed."

Sulu groaned, leaning on the captain. "Don't le' th' pirates get me, sir," the helmsman slurred, his legs dragging as the Kirk hauled him out.

"Course not, Sulu. As if I'd let pirates take any of my crew," Kirk proclaimed, throwing a playful wink over his shoulder at Penelope as the pair left the office. Sighing at the mess, Penelope resigned herself to dealing with Scotty.

"Mr. Scott," Penelope said, coming forward and putting a hand on the Chief's arm. "Mr. Scott, wake up." It took about a minute for Scotty to enter the waking world, and about five more minutes of convincing the engineer to go back to his quarters to sleep.

"Okay, Wrenchy. I'wus jus' a wee bit of ale," the Chief Engineer told her, his speech even worse than Sulu's. Despite his protests, Penelope got Scotty in a similar position as Kirk had attained with his helmsman, and supported the man as they made their way to the elevator. Once inside, Penelope let Scotty rest against the wall as she called out his floor number.

It took a bit of heavy-handed effort to get Scotty to put the code in to enter his quarters, but after threatening to tell the captain about the D Section distillery, Scotty revealed the information. Scotty's rooms were a bit larger than her own, but just as bare. There were no decorations, save a few small mechanical projects laid around haphazardly. It was obvious he hardly came to the room.

Penelope set the man down on the bed, instructing him to remove his shoes. While he did that, and unfortunately started butchering some folk song, Penelope grabbed a glass of water from his replicator. She set it on the end table. "Go to sleep, sir."

"Are you okay, Wrenchy?" Scotty asked, the alcohol and tiredness making his voice hard to understand. The question came from nowhere, and Penelope wondered what the man was talking about.

"I'm fine, Mr. Scott." The Chief Engineer rolled around in his blankets, and ended up looking like a burrito. Penelope rolled her eyes when she thought he couldn't see, and then left to go grab some medicine for him from Sickbay. No matter how many times he tried to convince her, Penelope did not believe Scotty was immune to hangovers.

Sickbay was quiet during the early morning, and there was only one doctor on duty, Dr. Sanchez. She approached on of the nurses, asking for some pain medication for Scotty's hangover. He laughed at the mention of the Chief Engineer.

"That doesn't surprise me. I swear that man comes in here every few days for this stuff," the nurse told her, handing her two small tablets.

"Really?" Penelope asked in surprise. The nurse, Lincoln, went on about how he was sure Scotty was an alcoholic before she finally got to leave. Penelope thought the information could come in handy if Scotty ever irritated her too much. Once she'd returned to the Chief's quarters to drop off the medicine, she went back to his office to finally write the report on the previous day's artificial gravity problem.

She had almost completed the preliminary sections of the report when the door swished open, and the captain entered. "Sorry, Waters, I think Sulu left his PADD in here." Penelope waved him in wordlessly, stylus in her moving hand, and turned back to the report. She could hear him shuffling around a bit before finding the PADD.

"Got it," Kirk informed her unnecessarily. Penelope nodded absently, tapping the stylus on the side of her own PADD as she thought about the steps she went through to remedy the issue. "Hey listen," the captain began, drawing her eyes from the screen. "Are you okay?" Penelope raised her eyebrows at the man.

"Yes." Did she seem ill?

The captain looked a bit uncomfortable, running a hand through his hair before beginning again. "Look, Waters, I don't know how you're going to take this, so just don't kick me out?" Penelope leaned back in Scotty's chair, not making any promises. "You're … you mean a lot to Scotty, and Scotty's one of my closest friends, and you're one of the crew, so if you need to talk about anything, just, you can come to me. You know that, right?"

His speech had been a bit hurried, and Penelope wondered just how often James Kirk ever felt out of place. Probably not often, and it was kind of amusing to be on Scotty's side of the desk watching the captain try not to make a fool out of himself at four thirty in the morning.

"Are you still drunk, sir?" Penelope questioned, her tone overly polite. Kirk glared at her, blue eyes narrowing. Before he could berate her, Penelope started talking. "Actually, there is something I want to ask you." He seemed to be astonished at her taking him up on the offer, but he still took a spot in the chair he'd been recently passed out in.

"Go ahead."

Penelope placed her PADD on the desk atop a small model of the antimatter chambers. "Do you think I should request an assignment transfer?" Kirk blinked slowly at her.

"Like, leave the _Enterprise_?" His bewildered tone made Penelope internally smile. Of course the captain couldn't imagine anyone wanting to leave the ship. It must be quite different for him, as being the captain meant a lot less flexibility in assignments. Once a captain got a ship, they generally stayed there until they either retired or were promoted. Or died. Whichever of the three happened first.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I don't think I'm good for this ship," Penelope told him.

"Don't think you're – what're you talking about, Waters?" Kirk wondered.

Penelope paused, collecting her thoughts to attempt to present a convincing case. She wanted an unbiased opinion, and though the captain could hardly be considered objective, the two of them were not close enough that he'd convince her to stay just because he liked having her around.

"I can't imagine I've met anyone's standards for completing my duties," Penelope said, shaking her head, "And I don't want to be in a place where I can't do my job."

The captain looked confused. "Do you show up when you're supposed to?"

"Yes."

"Do you do what Scotty tells you?"

"Yes."

"Do you oversee and complete the tasks that fall within your parameters as Assistant Chief?" Kirk's voice fell funnily on the words, as though he thought it was amusing to ask such a question.

"Yes."

Kirk sighed. "Then I don't see the problem."

"The problem," Penelope insisted, "is that I can't help but think someone else could do it better." She kind of deflated when she revealed her worry aloud. It was one thing to think up something like that, and another thing to admit it to another person. Especially if that person was the captain of the starship that she worked in.

There was a small pause, and then Kirk crossed his arms and looked directly at her. "Did Scotty ever tell you why he wanted you as his Assistant Chief?" Penelope shook her head. "He came to visit me while I was still in the hospital last year. He knew I was itching to get out of bed and back to work, but Bones wouldn't let me leave, so he'd come there and secretly give me updates about the ship and the crew." Penelope felt a smile tug at her lips. It definitely sounded like Scotty.

"So one day he comes by and starts telling me about this Lieutenant Waters character who'd been in charge of some section or another in Engineering, and he goes on and on about how great you'd be as the new Assistant Chief. And I asked him what made this one engineer so special when we've got more experienced officers requesting the job. You didn't even apply for it, but Scotty was so adamant. He told me that you were the most dedicated, hard-working officer he'd ever met, with more hands-on skill than he'd ever seen, who could fix anything with just a wrench, and he said if I didn't promote you to Lieutenant and give you the job I'd be a bigger idiot than even Bones thinks I am."

Penelope was quite simply stunned. "When I found out about why you were in Starfleet, I had some reservations," Kirk admitted, "and even though I signed those court papers, I went to Spock to ask him why he thought it was a good idea to have you on the _Enterprise_. Spock doesn't hand out praise, ever, so when he tells me that you've done nothing but work with efficiency and professionalism since the first trip out, I decided it was probably a damn good thing I listened to Scotty."

"I know these past few months have been rough, trust me, I know, but when you tell me you think someone could do your job better, I can't help but want to meet this mystery engineer. But I'll tell you, Waters, I think you're selling yourself short. I don't think you realize how well you balance out Scotty and this deck, because if you did, you wouldn't even have a passing thought about leaving."

When Kirk had finished, Penelope took a deep breath and then burst into laughter. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so hard – or at all – but she couldn't help it. The captain seemed beyond confused at her reaction. "Uh, are you alright, Waters?"

Penelope nodded frantically, trying to stifle her chuckles. "I'm sorry," she gasped, "It's just, my god, you're good. Is this why Carol likes you? I honestly had no clue why she'd bother to date you until now." Kirk's expression turned annoyed at her comments. "Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to be rude. You _are_ good-looking, if that helps."

She watched as Kirk tried to fight a smile, and then just let it fall across his face. "I am, aren't I?" he asked in a high-pitched voice, and Penelope threw her stylus at his head. It bounced off his cheek and fell to the ground

"I change my mind. I still don't get it," Penelope said.

"You love me, Waters. Admit it. They all do in the end," Kirk teased.

"Unlike your Bridge, Captain, I'm not going to pretend to even liking you a little bit."

"Lies. Haven't you heard? I'm a charmingly genius super-captain with the ability to save the universe," Kirk declared.

The Assistant Chief tilted her head in thought. "Nope. All I've heard about you is the long list of both Terran and alien STD's you've spread around the galaxy. Hasn't McCoy warned you about the dangers of risky sex?"

"Nah, he mostly just gives me a shot of gin and claims it's medicinal. Then he takes five shots of gin himself, self-prescribed. I don't know how he got that medical license."

"Probably by insulting the licensing board into submission," Penelope offered. Kirk laughed loudly.

"I think I may use that sometime."

"Feel free."

Kirk leaned forward, the joking tone still in his voice. "Still want that assignment transfer?" Penelope met his blue gaze before shaking her head.

"I don't think so," the Assistant Chief said. She'd been played, but that was okay because the point had been made. He thought she did a good job, and the tension between them that had only been increased by Illa's betrayal had dissipated.

"Good, cuz I don't think I could handle Scotty storming onto the Bridge tomorrow, demanding to know why I was letting you go. He can be downright scary when he needs to be," Kirk commented, his expression far away like he was remembering something. "Anyways," Kirk said, "glad we talked, Waters, and have an excellent rest of your morning."

As Kirk got up to leave, Penelope called out. "Hey, Captain?"

"Yeah?"

"This can go both ways. I imagine it might be hard, talking out things sometimes with the Bridge crew. I know you all are close, but sometimes people are too close," Penelope said, and upon seeing the understanding in Kirk's eyes, she continued. "If you ever have something you don't want to discuss with people that are going to care too much, I'm here if you need."

Kirk smiled tiredly. "It's so sweet to know how much you don't care, Waters."

"You know what I meant."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I do. And thanks." He gave her a wave, and then he was out the door. Penelope took a deep breathe, looking around at Scotty's mess of an office, now littered with a two empty bottles of Romulan ale. The smile started to droop as she was once again alone, and the warm feeling in her chest that came from Kirk's speech started to fade.

Thinking nothing at all, Penelope snatched up her PADD and set about finally completing the report.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Thanks for the views and reviews! More drunk people ahead. Gotta have these characters make an AA meeting or something... Next chapter there won't be any alcohol (pretty sure) so try and chug through it. Get it... yeah, I'm really not funny :*(**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 13 – And No More Turn Aside and Brood**

"Happy New Years!"

The joyous cry echoed across the ship's comm system, reaching Penelope even in the storage room. She sat atop a heap of boxes, gazing out the large window near the entrance to the place. There were crates upon crates of extra ship supplies stacked together like blocks. The room, like most of the _Enterprise_ , was covered in a bright white, but Penelope had kept the lights off to enjoy the view.

In the last few days, the flagship had been circling a dying supergiant. All the planets in the nearby vicinity had been investigated for signs of intelligent life, and afterwards, the starship was ordered to take readings of the soon to be blackhole. Penelope didn't understand the hard science of what was happening to the star, but she did know it was one of the most stunning things she'd ever seen.

It was so blue, like a seaside bonfire burning as brightly as the sun. They were close enough for Penelope to see the way the light from the star mixed around the dark space, and the colors of the nebula swirled and danced in her vision. How could that be something that was dying? It looked so alive.

Penelope lifted the bottle of aged whiskey Scotty had given her for her birthday two weeks ago and took a considerable swig. The illumination from the decaying starlight hit the bottle from a nice angle, casting patterns on her skin. She imagined feeling the warmth from her own sun and closed her eyes.

Two years ago, Penelope had spent New Years Eve with Johnny and Marie. They'd had a small get together with some of the other D Section Engineers, as Starfleet had allowed the _Enterprise_ to come back for the holidays. Even though there'd been so many officers there, Penelope had convinced Tommy to come to Texas with her, and she'd enjoyed seeing how at ease he became as the night wore on.

How long ago that all seemed now. Tommy, before he'd shot up like a weed. Johnny, with his constant laughing, and Marie, an exasperated smile permanently attached to her face. George, Williams, and Ellis teasing Penelope for her relaxed manner outside of work. It no longer felt real to Penelope, reminding her more of a quickly fading dream than something that truly happened.

Last New Years, Penelope had spent the night alone, tinkering around in the Bridge to set up a brand-new communications system. No amount of pleading from Scotty or Illa could convince her to go out with the other engineers, and Marie had ended up spending the day with her parents. Tommy's joke of a father finally decided to show up and parent, so Penelope had been left to herself.

When, in the last two months, the crew had found out their mission would extend into the winter holidays without leave, numerous parties were put in place for every celebration. Penelope had avoided them like her life depended on it. She didn't know if she could handle the jubilant faces of her crewmembers and stop herself from missing Johnny.

It had been a year and half, and still she couldn't keep his face from her mind. Penelope hadn't realized how integral he'd been to her day to day life until he was gone. And it was times like these that the emptiness of the space where Johnny was supposed to be really struck the engineer. Maybe it was also comforting to her, a grief that had become familiar to inhabit and a way to distract her from newer and older losses.

A shade so reminiscent of crystal clear lakes pulled Penelope from her thoughts. She took another drink of the amber liquid, her face twisting at the taste. The stuff definitely burned, and Penelope just didn't understand Scotty's obsession with it.

From her mountain of crates, Penelope couldn't see who had come into the storage room, but she definitely heard the familiar sound of automatic doors opening. Thankfully, the Assistant Chief was protected from sight by the surrounding wall of boxes, so she kept as quiet as possible, hoping for whoever had entered to leave just as swiftly.

"Come on. We're supposed to be having fun," the captain's voice echoed through the large room. Penelope wondered who he was talking to, and wished desperately for it not to be Carol. If she was stuck here while they decided to take a "break" from the party, then Penelope just might have to knock herself out with the whiskey bottle.

To her surprise, and relief, it was McCoy who answered. "You're running yourself ragged, Jim. Am I just to ignore that until you wind up in Sickbay because your dumbass forgot you aren't superhuman?" Penelope felt distinctly awkward at overhearing the conversation.

"Could you stop being a doctor for a minute and just be my friend?" Kirk asked in an irritated tone.

"I have to be both," McCoy replied, and Penelope could imagine seeing the man crossing his arms in frustration. "It's not my fault you insist on acting like a child."

Kirk snorted, brushing off the comment. "What're you gonna do? Give me a bedtime?"

"This isn't a joke," McCoy pressed, "Even Spock's come to my office, asking for me to talk to you."

"Never trust a – ow!" Kirk's statement was cut off by what sounded like a slap to the head.

"I'll say this once, Jim, and I hope it gets through your thick skull -"

"Not quite thick enough," the captain interrupted.

"Not everything that happens on this ship is your fault."

There was a long pause, and then Kirk began. "That's kind of in my job descrip – ow, goddammit, Bones, this is abuse!" Penelope could hear the doctor huff.

"I know you have this irritating hero complex, but everyone that's on _Enterprise_ knew exactly what they signed up for. That bullshit with the Klingons, well that was something none of us saw coming, and Royce and Perry died, but they didn't die for nothing." The captain started to argue, but McCoy cut him off. "You're overcompensating, and it's killing you, Jim. You can't be everywhere on the ship at once."

The hush that settled allowed Penelope to turn back to the blue supergiant, and she wondered if they'd left. Then her ears once again picked up the voices.

"I almost lost everything," Kirk said, almost softly enough that Penelope couldn't hear. "When that guy had his hands around Carol's throat, I thought … But I had to put the _Enterprise_ first, and I can't change that." McCoy didn't say anything, and then Kirk continued, a humorless tone tinging his words.

"Just before they killed Perry, he looked up at me, and it was the same look Carol had. Like why couldn't I save them? Why couldn't I think of something faster? And then Scotty told us Royce had been killed, and we were all just sitting around, and I could do _nothing_." Kirk's speech had become frantic, but still McCoy stayed silent.

"I thought that I knew what being hopeless felt like," Kirk exclaimed, "but when I saw that ship explode, and I thought Carol … I'm lucky Spock was there, or else we'd all have been killed."

McCoy finally spoke again. "She came back."

Kirk laughed, that same mean one Penelope had heard once before. "No thanks to me. I had to rely on a Klingon spy and a damn engineer to save her. What good is it being a starship Captain if I can't even protect the people I care about?" Penelope had stiffened at the mention of her and Illa. She really, really, really didn't want to be hearing what she was. It felt so wrong to eavesdrop on them, but at that point, revealing herself was too embarrassing to contemplate.

"No one blames you."

"Well maybe they should!" Kirk yelled. The deafening silence that followed was what made Penelope wince in her spot. "Maybe they should," Kirk continued in a more subdued tone, "Carol does." In the few times Penelope had spoken to the weapons specialist since the Klingon attack, Carol _had_ been complaining about him. Though what did she know? Mostly she and Carol talked about more important things than Kirk, like new weapons attachments for Federation starships or the benefits of oatmeal.

McCoy audibly sighed. "Has she actually told you that, or are you just assuming that's how she feels?" The lack of response from Kirk gave McCoy his answer. "Have you tried talking to her about it?"

"What am I supposed to say?" Kirk said sarcastically. "Sorry I let you get taken hostage by the Klingons, honey. Wanna grab dinner?"

"Carol's a big girl, Jim. I think she understands your duty to this ship can sometimes come before your relationship."

"She shouldn't have to," Kirk stated.

"Well that's one of the sacrifices you both have to make," McCoy told the captain in a matter of fact tone, "and you should've realized that when things got serious between the two of you. You're new to this sort of partnership, but there's going to be some give and take that goes on when you aren't just sleeping with someone for a night or two."

"Oh, because you're the best person to go to for relationship advice?" Kirk questioned harshly. "Sorry," Kirk said after a tense moment. "I didn't mean that."

"Listen, kid, don't come to me and pretend like you've got a clue about what you're doing with that girl. You wanna play house, then have fun, but don't act upset when things don't turn out as peachy as you thought they would.

And go the fuck to sleep. I'm so sick of having your Bridge come crying to me everytime you fall asleep in the command chair. I'm this close to declaring you physically unfit for duty, so don't test me," McCoy ranted, and then the sound of the door opening and closing led to an eerie quiet once again encasing the storage room. Penelope assumed McCoy had stormed away in a huff. She could hear someone else breathing, and then their footsteps came around Penelope's Box Mountain.

 _Please don't come over here, please don't come over here, go away, go away –_

"Waters?"

Penelope looked down her tower in surprise, making out McCoy's figure in the dark lighting. She waved silently at him from above. The doctor started stepping up the various crates until he reached the top where she sat with her legs out in front of her, leaning back against another box. He took in the sight of her, and then unceremoniously plopped down right next to the engineer.

"Were you there the entire time?"

"Yeah."

"So you heard the whole..."

"Yeah."

McCoy reached across her for the whiskey and chugged a considerable amount. Penelope watched him with a brow raised, thinking she'd be more pissed if she wasn't so drunk. When he was done, the CMO handed her back the bottle. "Damn, that's good stuff. Where'd you get it?"

"Scott."

The doctor snorted. "Figures." A silence swept over the pair that was strangely comfortable for Penelope. As they settled, the Assistant Chief let her eyes sweep back to the window and the dying star. Apparently McCoy followed suit, because in the next moment he whistled low under his breath. "Hell, that sure is something." Penelope tipped the bottle back again before bringing it down and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

"It's beautiful," Penelope agreed, offering the glass to McCoy. He took it gratefully and repeated her action much more gracefully.

"My daughter would love to see something like this," the doctor mumbled before taking another swig. Tilting her head, Penelope kept her gaze on the view as she asked her question.

"You have a daughter?"

Tipping the bottle back to Penelope, McCoy answered. "Joanna. She'll be twelve in March."

"Can't imagine you as a dad," Penelope told him as she lifted the bottle up, "I bet she swears like a sailor." She drank more of the liquid while McCoy chuckled.

"Since she started talking," the CMO admitted, a touch of pride in his voice that Penelope thought was a little endearing. "I tried to get her to quit, but nothing worked. I'm a shit example anyway, so I just let her be," McCoy shrugged. The engineer was drunk enough at that point to not care about getting personal.

"Wha's she wanna be when she grows up?"

McCoy sighed, leaning his head back in a similar position. "Changes almost every other week. I think now it's … marine biologist?" he said in a question. "Something to do with the ocean. Submarine captain?"

"Sounds like a good kid," Penelope commented, drinking a little more. She thought she should probably quit, but the burning finally stopped, and now everything felt good. Maybe that was why Scotty liked whiskey: it got the job done.

The parental pride was back in his voice when the doctor responded. "Yeah, she is." There was a momentary pause. "You got kids, Waters?"

Penelope was the one that snorted that time. "No."

"That's probably better," McCoy said morosely, "Trying to be a good parent in Starfleet is like trying to finish a physical on Jim. Damn near impossible, and somehow, you end up getting punched in the gut half the time." The engineer laughed quietly.

"Is he tha' bad?"

"Worse," McCoy shook his head. Penelope handed the doctor the whiskey to appease his melancholy tone, but after he took another drink, he went on in the same vein. "He's just so damn stubborn all the time. Never lets up, trying to take on the whole galaxy by himself. And the rest of us just gotta stand on the sidelines and watch."

The sight outside the ship distracted Penelope, though she tried her best to listen. Her words sounded slurred when she pitched in. "Maybe he jus' wans to know there's somebody waiting there fur 'im." Penelope turned to look at the doctor, taking the bottle back from his lazy grip.

"Every time I have to patch him up, I wonder if it'll be the last time." Penelope felt sad for McCoy, so she threw a hand on his arm. The action made him tear his eyes from the star and onto her. The blue light hit his face, highlighting his features in the dark. Penelope blinked slowly, trying to focus.

"Can't think li' tha', M'Coy. You'll make," Penelope had to pause for a hiccup, "Make yourself crazy."

"Yeah," McCoy grumbled, taking the bottle away. "You're definitely cut off."

"You can't do tha'," Penelope protested, leaning over his legs to try and snatch the drink. He leaned away and kept her back. Too tired to put up much of a fight, Penelope eventually gave up and resigned herself to folding her arms and sitting back.

McCoy inspected the glass. "How much of this stuff of this have you had?" He sloshed around the small amount of liquid left. Penelope peered over, shrugging.

"Dunno." God, he was being so boring. Penelope wanted to go do something more fun, so she attempted to get up, only to fall right back down. McCoy grabbed her arm tightly. The Assistant Chief turned to him in anger, but forgot what she was going to say at seeing his face. He looked so silly with the blue on his cheek. It was like he was trying to match his shirt.

"Do you have any idea how high up we are, you idiot?" the CMO pushed, securing her in his grip. "You wanna get splattered on the ground down there?" Penelope stuck her tongue out at him, trying to wriggle free. "Quit it, Waters."

"Has anybody ever tol' you how annoyin' your are?" the engineer wondered. Her eyes darted around, her vision delaying in an amusing way. Before she could give the doctor any time to answer, Penelope was going on. "I think you're bein' annoyin'. An' I know alotuv annoyin' people, but I think you're the mos' annoyin' one of all. An' you can no take my stuff away from me cuz it's mine," Penelope insisted, her voice emphasizing the mine.

McCoy didn't even seem fazed by her insults, which was crazy because Penelope knew they had been _really_ good ones. "Wow, you're completely wasted, aren't you?" The stupid doctor seemed to find her more funny than scary. Penelope wasn't funny, though. She was a scary, badass engineer. And she could smack people with her wrench. Why did no one realize that?

"You don' even know," Penelope told him, head drooping onto his shoulder. "Happy New Years," the engineer muttered into his arm, eyes turning outwards. How could that star be dying? How could anything so big ever go away? Penelope wanted to go forward and grab the blue and bottle it and keep it with her so it would never die. She could make it safe and then there'd be no black hole. Wouldn't that be nice?

"Yeah, Waters, that'd be great," McCoy said. "And Happy New Years, too." Penelope hadn't been aware that she'd been speaking, but that was okay because McCoy wouldn't tell anyone about her secret star bottle. She would even share it with him. "No thanks." Okay, more for her. It was so pretty, wasn't it? "Yup."

So bright, and so blue...

* * *

There was a disturbingly painful throb in her brain the moment Penelope's eyes started to flicker open. The sight in front of her was unfamiliar. There was a sleek black desk in her direct line of sight, and she could feel the squish of a worn sofa under her stomach. The engineer rolled over, groaning at the soreness in her muscles. Penelope shielded her eyes from the bright overhead lights with her elbow.

"Finally waking up? It's noon, you know that?" The southern drawl burst upon her senses unpleasantly. Penelope turned to see McCoy sitting comfortably at the desk, eyes trained on a PADD in his hands. It was like a scene from a nightmare.

"Am I in hell?" the Assistant Chief moaned, covering her face with her arm once again.

"Not yet," the doctor responded, sounding far too cheerful.

Penelope took a deep, steadying breath before attempting to pull herself into a sitting position. Her body protested at the strain, but the engineer pushed on. Her mouth was as dry as a cotton ball, and the room around her spun for a moment. "Why am I in here?" Penelope asked when the nausea finally settled into something manageable.

"You passed out last night," McCoy explained, tossing a glance in her direction. "Didn't know the code to your rooms, and everyone from Engineering was too far gone to tell me. I had to bring you somewhere you wouldn't choke on your on vomit or something equally as pathetic."

Taking the time to observe her surroundings, Penelope concluded that there were worse places to end up. "Thanks," she mumbled, feeling embarrassed as the events of the previous night filtered their way through her memory. The doctor grunted in agreement, eyes still on her. "What?" she asked finally.

"Do you remember … the argument between Jim and me?" McCoy questioned awkwardly. He had placed his PADD down on the desk and crossed his arms in a defensive way. Penelope wanted to roll her eyes but just barely refrained. How old did he think she was? Thirteen?

"No." It was obvious to both of them that she did remember, but McCoy still breathed a sigh of relief. As if she didn't have better things to do then go around and talk about them. "As long as you give me something to stop the stab wound on my head." Though maybe she wouldn't if she couldn't get a reprieve from the killer hangover. McCoy actually did roll his eyes then, but he got up dutifully and returned to the office a moment later.

The CMO thrust a small tablet at her and then handed her a small glass of water. "You and every other idiot crewmember aboard this ship just had to forget all about alcohol poisoning last night," McCoy grumbled, stomping back over to his chair. "I'm a doctor, not a drug dealer. Why do y'all forget that every time a damn holiday comes around." Then he added with a shudder, "Or god forbid, a shore leave."

"Are you hiding in here?" Penelope wondered once she'd swallowed the pill. McCoy met her gaze without an ounce of guilt.

"Pretty much." There was a quiet knock at the door that interrupted any snarky retort Penelope could think up. "Come in," McCoy called out in an irritated tone. The captain entered the office, eyes on McCoy. Penelope didn't even think he'd noticed her.

"I was way outta line last night, Bones -" the captain began in a hurried tone before Penelope cut him off with a loud cough. He whipped his head around, finally realizing he had an audience. "Uhhhhhhh." The man looked between her and McCoy, obviously confused.

"I was just leaving," Penelope told the captain. She looked over at McCoy. "Bye." With that, Penelope turned and walked away, leaving the two officers to talk. There were quite a few full biobeds when the engineer went into the main Sickbay, and Penelope stifled a grin at all the annoyed looking medical staff. Half of them were probably just as affected by the New Years Eve party, but she doubted McCoy had let any of them have the morning in. He was evil like that.

The engineer had given herself a day off in advance, guessing how gross she'd feel with precision. She'd scheduled Scotty as having a shift bright and early that morning, but knowing the Chief, he'd likely convinced Rome to cover it. The A Section Head was such a pushover when it came to appeasing Scotty.

With the halls almost empty, Penelope easily made her way back to her quarters. She flopped down onto the bed in an instant and went right to sleep. When she awoke, it was around 1900, and the worst effects of the hangover had disappeared. After taking a shower, grabbing a quick meal in the mess hall which she ate alone, and going once again into her rooms, Penelope realized she was feeling a bit restless.

Sitting down on the bed, the Assistant Chief pulled up a new message from Marie onto her computer screen. Communications from Earth were being sent to Penelope less and less frequently, a sign of her continued departure. At times, she was grateful for the reprieve from her home planet, but occasionally, Penelope felt a bit abandoned.

"I'm this many now!" Laura exclaimed, holding up five fingers to Penelope. She'd missed her birthday, and it sprung up a rotten emotion inside Penelope's gut. The engineer continued to listen as Marie wished her happy holidays. Zach mumbled something at one point that Penelope couldn't make out, his face darting from Laura to the camera. They disappeared halfway through, probably up to no good, and Marie suddenly muttered a quick goodbye before shutting off the camera.

When it had played through, Penelope decided the message had been far too brief. She replayed it once, relishing the look on Marie's distraught face before the camera had stopped. Definitely up to no good …

With nothing new from Tommy, despite her sending him credits to make up the fines on his license, Penelope found herself too wired to rest, too tired to work, and too lazy to do anything about her predicament. Her thoughts drifted, darting from work issues, to coffee, to last night. What had she been thinking, letting McCoy sit up there with her? She should've told him to get lost before she'd made a drunken fool of herself.

Groaning with embarrassment, Penelope laid down and turned onto her side. And what about all that stuff between the captain and the doctor? Maybe it wasn't her business in the first place, but maybe some people should restrict their private conversations to less public spaces. Didn't both men have their own offices aboard the ship? If Penelope had an office …

Was the captain really so upset over Royce and Perry? He hadn't seemed it, but she guessed he did that more for everyone else's benefit than his own. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one feeling distraught lately, but it also worried her that _everyone_ he knew was concerned about him.

And Carol hadn't struck her as being overly upset at Kirk, but they really hadn't talked much recently. Penelope had been keeping to herself the last three months, and most people had been content to leave her alone, considering her foul mood. George had been relentless, constantly bothering her, and it was impossible not to spend time with Scotty, but beyond that, Penelope had preferred to be alone.

She didn't need anyone else. _She could make it on her own_ …

The thought got caught in her head, repeating over and over, and she was suddenly seventeen again. Wary and mistrustful and overconfident in her own abilities, and look where it had gotten her. Still paying for a decade old crime, a matter that could've been resolved over five years ago if she'd not been so stubborn.

If not for that same kind of thinking, where would Penelope be right then?

 _Where would she be without it?_ A rebellious strand of thought invading the others.

But it had been her choice, her moment, and she'd failed the test. Like she always had, like she always would.

Feeling trapped in her own skin, Penelope rolled over onto her stomach. She pushed her face into her pillow. The entirety of her adult life had been spent in Starfleet. She would never know what might've happened if she'd stayed on the bench that fateful day in the park, and maybe that was for the better. It gave her something to work towards, a day when the _Enterprise_ could be behind her.

 _And then what?_


	14. Chapter 14

**U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 14 - Upon Love's Bitter Mystery**

"It's nice to see you again, Lieutenant Waters. How are you?"

Doctor Robinson's office was just as sickeningly cozy as last time. "Fine," Penelope answered. She'd stalled as long as possible to get her physical, knowing that with it would come another counseling session. Scotty had ended up sending her to Sickbay the other day to get him some "spare bandages" which turned out to be code for: _M'Benga's done waiting for you to go to the medical center of your own violation so just joking, I don't really need those bandages, lass._

Engineering _had_ actually been running short on first-aid supplies, so Scotty had irritated her on two accounts.

She'd been given a clean bill of health (pretty much). Her weight was back to normal (mostly), she wasn't ill in any way (technically), but then M'Benga had "helpfully" scheduled her another meeting with Robinson. Penelope was starting to believe that everyone in Sickbay was under McCoy's witch-doctor powers, and she seriously considered reporting sightings of voodoo to the captain in the hopes that the CMO might be transferred. Or imprisoned. Penelope would enjoy seeing either occur.

"I'm glad to hear it," the doctor commented. She was wearing a uniform with pants that day, but her blue shirt had short sleeves on it. Penelope wondered how she got away with so many changes to the standard outfits. Robinson then tacked on with an understanding smile, "What with all that's happened since we last met."

Penelope visibly stiffened in the plush chair, unable to hide her reaction. "I'd rather not talk about … that." Illa and everything she'd done was behind Penelope. There was no room for her anymore. Robinson's warm eyes examined her, not completely hiding the professional interest in her movements.

"It's good to talk through what you feel when -"

"Please," Penelope said quietly, "Just not today." Not ever, preferably, but Penelope would take what she could get.

Robinson nodded slowly, stylus dragging on the screen in her lap. "Alright. Not today."The counselor's tone of voice implied that there _would_ be future discussion of the topic. Great. "How about we start where we left off last time? We were talking about your decision to join Starfleet." The prompt brought Penelope back.

"I think that we finished with that," the engineer commented, placing her elbow on the armrest and her head in her hand. Glancing around, Penelope noticed that the holos on the desk were all the same, though the books on the shelf were somewhat rearranged.

"Alright," the counselor said in appeasement, "then perhaps we should discuss the switch from Security to Engineering. How did that come about?" Robinson tucked a strand of red hair behind her ear and waited while the engineer formulated an answer.

"I spent about eleven months on the enlisted Security track," Penelope began, her mind flashing with foggy memories of that year. "One of my instructors had a car problem. I fixed it. He suggested I transfer to Engineering."

"Just through that one interaction?" Robinson asked curiously.

Penelope tilted her head. "No, there were other times in class when I was able to fix some faulty equipment. I think that he thought I'd be more useful in an engine room than as a bodyguard." The man's voice came sharply into her head, like a splash of cool water.

 _You're pretty handy, Cadet. Ever thought about transferring to Engineering?_

"Did you find the new training more enjoyable?"

"Yes." The constant bombardment of security measures and fighting techniques had been useful, but also disconcerting for Penelope. At the time, she'd just been charged for violent crimes, so moving from that state of mind to one of disciplined conflict had been extremely jarring for the young woman.

"Have you always liked mechanical work? Tinkering?" Penelope's eyes flashed back to the doctor.

"Yes."

"When did that interest begin?"

One of Penelope's first memories was of her mother taking her on a train to the sea. The hugeness of the machine had put the girl in a state of awe, and she'd absolutely annoyed her mother with questions she hadn't been able to answer. _Why did the train make that loud noise_? had been the most prominent of Penelope's inquiries. "Since I can remember. I liked fixing things."

"How did you go from enlisted to officer training?"

"It was recommended for me."

"By whom?"

"My new instructors."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

"Did you ask?"

"No."

"I see. And you simply accepted the new contract?"

"Yes."

Dr. Robinson appeared frustrated by her succinctness. The counselor crossed her legs pointedly and expanded on the topic. "It mandated that you spend an additional four years in the service of Starfleet, as well as the four year training process required by all officers. Why agree to this?"

"It was recommended," Penelope repeated.

"If I recall correctly, you were also recommended by your lawyer to opt for Frello V. Why listen to the advice of your teachers and not the advice of your solicitor?" Robinson asked.

Her trainers had been people, with thoughts and opinions. Penelope could relate to them, but all the android lawyer had given her were cold facts. The engineer hadn't thought the decision to join Starfleet through fully, and the truth was that she had been infuriated by the robot's response to her court case.

"My life cannot be mathematically calculated." The Assistant Chief bit the words out like she was in pain.

"I don't follow."

Penelope sighed, rephrasing her response. "The android said that I was more likely to violate Starfleet orders than I was to follow them, based on statistics involving my personal history."

"You disagreed?"

"No." Of course she hadn't. Contrary to what McCoy might argue, Penelope wasn't a complete idiot.

"Then help me to understand, Lieutenant," the doctor implored. "Why did you join Starfleet, and agree to become an officer, if even you yourself thought you would not make it very far?" Her choice to join the more prestigious section of Starfleet had been more complex for Penelope. She'd been older, slightly less impulsive, and the decision had been made so many years previous.

"I wanted … I wanted to prove them wrong."

"Who?"

"Everyone. Everyone I'd ever met. I just wanted to make them see." She struggled to express the idea to the doctor when she wasn't even quite sure of the true answer.

"See what?"

Closing her eyes in contemplation, Penelope considered her words carefully. "That I have something worth giving."

"And what is that?" Robinson wondered.

"I don't know," the engineer admitted truthfully. Her voice trembled a bit as she realized that even she herself didn't quite understand her own thought process. Always, Penelope had strove to convince others that she was stronger, tougher, less emotional than she really was. Penelope had no clue why she did that, only that she did it.

"Alright." Robinson then changed the subject, probably guessing Penelope had no more to offer on the matter. "So how did you like the officer training?"

"It was fine."

"Was it during this time that you met Officer Carlson?"

"Johnny," Penelope corrected softly. Never Carlson, he had preferred Johnny always. Even Scotty hadn't gotten away with giving him a new nickname.

"Johnny, yes," Robinson agreed, waiting for an answer to her previous question.

"Yes, I met him in the first month."

"Did you become friends right away?"

Penelope felt a small smile grace her lips. "I didn't have much of a choice. He accidentally spilled his coffee on my shirt, and spent the next five years trying to make it up to me." The engineer had thought him beyond overbearing at first, but that had just been his personality. Johnny had simply come off as larger than life. How wrong Penelope had been to think that, how naive.

"He died a little over a year and a half ago, during the _U.S.S. Vengeance_ 's attack on this ship. Is that correct?"

"Yes." Robinson already knew that. There was no need for her to ask confirmation, or to try and force Penelope to say it aloud. Irritation began to cloud the nostalgia within the Assistant Chief.

"How has that been for you?"

"I'm fine."

"Has it been difficult working on the ship since the attack?"

"No."

Robinson shifted in her seat, stylus tapping her cheek. "It's okay to talk about this, Lieutenant, and it's normal to be upset."

"Like you said, it's been over eighteen months." Penelope stiffened. Was it normal to think about him all the time? To see his face in others, his laugh in others, his movements in others? He had been her friend, but he was dead, and Penelope couldn't let him go. That wasn't normal, not even a little bit.

The doctor kept a calm voice as she responded. "That does not change that he is gone, and that you must miss him. It's perfectly healthy to still be healing."

"I'm fine," Penelope repeated.

"So you've said," Robinson stated. Once again sensing that Penelope would no longer go on about him directly, the counselor changed her line of questioning. "Do you ever see Johnny's family?" Surprised, Penelope nodded.

"Before I left, I would spend time with his wife and kids."

"What are their names?"

"His wife is Marie. He's got a daughter, Laura. She's five now, and his son, Zach, who's three."

"Are you close with them?"

Penelope leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. "They're my godchildren."

"Have you spoken to them recently?"

"Yes, we all communicate."

"Do they remind you of him?"

Clenching her jaw, Penelope nodded again.

"And how is Marie?"

"Better," the engineer considered. "She had a hard time at first, but she's come through."

"You looked after her, after all of them," Robinson stated in a matter of fact way.

"Yes."

"Do you think that perhaps you have kept your focus on other things so as to avoid facing Johnny's death?" Robinson supposed bluntly. Penelope blinked in shock. "You have cared for Johnny's family, you have fixed the _Enterprise_ , but there are some things that cannot be fixed, Lieutenant. And there are some things you've been ignoring because you think it will be better not to deal with them. It is okay to not be strong all the time. It is okay to talk about what you're feeling."

"I'm not feeling anything," the Assistant Chief insisted. It was no one else's business what went on in Penelope's head, and no one cared to find out besides.

"No? You're completely fine?" The doctor's tone was blatantly skeptical.

"Yes."

"Then I fail to see why you will not talk to me about Johnny in more detail, or why you have avoided a conversation about Ilia Illa."

The engineer leaned back even further in the comfortable seat. "I have nothing to say about her."

"She was your friend."

"She betrayed us all." The emotion had seeped once again into Penelope's voice.

"That does not change the fact that you cared for her."

"It changes everything."

Robinson looked down, reading something in her tablet. "Since her death, you have avoided social interactions with others. Why?" Penelope supposed that M'Benga had told her something of the sort, though it was a little disturbing that Robinson knew so much about her.

"I have nothing to discuss with the rest of the crew."

"You did before the Klingon attack."

Beyond uncomfortable with the new path of their conversation, Penelope bent forward towards the doctor. "May I go?" Her green eyes darted to the door deliberately.

Nodding, Robinson held up a hand as Penelope stood up. "I would like you to listen to what I have to say, and then we'll be finished." Penelope kept her arms folded as she waited for the doctor to continue.

"You have lost a number of people in your life, Lieutenant. That is bound to have an effect on the way you carry yourself, the way you deal with things that happen to you. You may think it is strong to carry on stoically, to not talk about your feelings, but it is not. It will destroy you if you continue to hold everything back."

"Are we done?"

Robinson dipped her head, a disappointed note to her voice. "We're done. I'll see you next quarter, Lieutenant Waters."

* * *

Yalmark and Penelope were running side by side along the track, the only sound between them was one of heavy breathing. After her meeting with Robinson, the engineer had felt a nasty mixture of emotions running through her body, and the one thing that could clear Penelope's mind on those types of days was running until her legs gave out.

After a few circles around the path, Yalmark had silently jogged into line with her. His expression had been as stony as hers was, and Penelope hadn't bothered with a greeting. The heat was now stifling, and her sweat didn't succeed in cooling her down. Yalmark was turning his head towards her. She met his hazel eyes, and then he pointedly sped up.

Accepting the challenge, Penelope matched his pace. Yalmark once again surged forward at a more intense pace. Penelope answered, pumping her legs just a little faster than the security guard. Their mini-competition continued on in a similar fashion until Yalmark finally motioned for them both to stop.

Their faces red with exertion, the pair slowed down and came to halt a little ways off from the circular track. Penelope bent down, putting her hand on her knees and struggled to catch her breath. Yalmark started chuckling in wheezing coughs. He slapped her back.

"Damn," he panted, "I don't remember the last time I ran like that." Penelope nodded wordlessly in agreement. The security guard plopped down on the ground with little grace, and then laid down, limbs spread wide. Giving Yalmark an amused glance, Penelope followed suit.

Head flat upon the floor, Penelope could both hear and feel various shoes hitting the ground. The ceiling was high up, a large pane of glass settled in the middle to give a view of outer-space. Stars twinkled and flashed with light, and Penelope thought they looked like they were laughing at her. Eventually, her breathing returned to normal, and her heart stopped trying to jump out of her chest. The Assistant Chief turned to see how Yalmark was faring. He, too, had been staring up into the darkness, but when he felt her gaze, the security guard twisted his face to meet hers.

"You good?"

"Yes."

Penelope got up then, and she offered a hand down to Yalmark. He looked at it for a brief moment before clasping onto her with a steady grip. "Thanks, Waters." She nodded in response, and together they made their way out of Exercise Room 1. "I'm hungry. Wanna come? I think George'll be there," Yalmark offered.

Even if she wanted to, which Penelope definitely did not upon hearing George's name, she had to decline. "Work," Penelope explained. Yalmark shrugged.

"Have fun."

"Probably not."

The security guard smiled, shaking his head at her before walking off in the direction of the nearest mess hall. After grabbing a quick shower, Penelope headed down to Scotty's office to let him go eat lunch. "Thanks, lass," Scotty said, calling out for Keenser to come along with him. As they passed, Keenser waved. Penelope checked in with all the section heads personally, getting reports from various updates throughout the day. She also visited Lovett in Maintenance, and then peeked in on a repair group currently working in the Bridge after leaving Rome in charge.

The first officer looked particularly upset when Penelope entered the Bridge, as it was his science station that had been malfunctioning. Well, upset for a Vulcan. Penelope could really only tell because Uhura kept shooting Spock worried glances.

"Waters!" the captain greeted genially. "How's Engineering?"

"Fine, sir." Penelope walked over to where Fly, Jameson, and Youngblood were huddled together, squabbling. Upon noticing her, all three ensigns quieted quickly. The Assistant Chief looked to Fly, waiting for an explanation.

Fly pointed over accusingly towards Jameson and Youngblood. "They're beyond help," he stated firmly. Penelope crossed her arms, eyes darting over to the C Section engineers.

"He's just mad because he can't fix it," Jameson accused, turning up her nose at Fly. Youngblood took a step back, trying to extract himself from the situation.

"At least I'm actually trying something!" Fly exclaimed

"Something stupid!"

McCoy entered the Bridge, loudly calling, "I heard the Vulcan was in a tizzy!" His exclamation was drowned out by the continued argument of the engineers.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You C Section guys are all idiots!"

Youngblood found that offensive enough to rejoin the fray. "And A Section's got their heads permanently up their asses."

"Yeah," Jameson agreed. "Arrogant as hell, too."

Fly, a normally calm person by Penelope's standards, was starting to go red in the face. "Well -"

" **Enough.** "

All three engineers turned towards her, only then noticing that they had drawn an audience of the entire Bridge. "You are all to leave the Bridge and go to your quarters." Jameson opened her mouth to argue, but at Penelope's fierce glare, shut her mouth again wisely. "You will apologize to Mr. Spock and the captain for your behavior, and then I will fix the problem here." Then she added in a dangerous tone, "And I will deal with all of you afterwards."

Another hard look had all three ensigns muttering _sorry_ and then sulking off into the elevator. Penelope hoped they wouldn't kill each other in the lift so that she could have the privilege of doing it herself later.

Waiting until they were all out of sight, Penelope cleared her throat. "I apologize," she said in a much clearer tone than the other, "for how out of hand that became." She looked both at the captain, who seemed only amused, and at Spock, who looked as blank faced as ever. "What exactly is the problem with the science station?"

As Spock went through a very thorough explanation of the station's malfunctions, McCoy came over to interrupt. Penelope had never seen the man so gleeful.

"Spock, I was under the impression you knew damn near everything about the sensors," the CMO grinned. The captain stood behind the doctor, eyes darting between the two men.

"As you said yourself, Doctor, I know 'damn near'," Spock's voice came with the slightest bit of mocking while repeating McCoy's words, "everything. Obviously, the extent of my knowledge does not cover this malfunction." Penelope bent down and got underneath the computer station, using her wrench to unhook the panel. She grabbed a small light from her belt and held it up, but not before glancing once more at the trio.

McCoy leaned forward, not dissuaded at all. "Can't you just say: _I don't know_?"

"I believe I accurately communicated that sentiment to you, Doctor. That you do not comprehend is more telling of you than of myself." Hiding her grin, Penelope set about trying to locate whatever was wrong with the sensor.

The CMO spluttered. "Are you callin' me stupid, Spock?" The Assistant Chief pulled on her gloves and goggles and then put her hands up into the separate wiring and chemical units.

"Once again, I believe I accurately -"

"Alright, alright," Kirk mediated, "We get it. Bones, did you really come all the way up here to bother Spock?" It was a while before Penelope heard the man answer.

"Yup."

"Captain, I request permission to have Dr. McCoy removed on the basis of his irrelevancy."

"Request denied," the captain responded with a grin in his voice. "He promises not to tease you anymore, okay?" There was something missing in the small battery unit that powered the sensors. Shifting slightly, Penelope tried to get a better look. McCoy grumbled a bit before muttering his approval, and Spock never said anything at all.

"How's it going down there, Waters?" Kirk wondered loudly to likely fill the tense silence between the CMO and the first officer. Penelope reached out with one hand to give them a thumbs up. "Do you know what's wrong?"

"Yes," Penelope answered, pulling her hand back. A minuscule piece of the outer wall around the battery had become corrupted, so the Assistant Chief pulled it out carefully to examine the object. There was no fixing it, Penelope determined, so she sighed and swung her body out from under the machine.

"Well?" Kirk prompted.

Penelope removed her protective gear before holding out the battery. "This one is messed up. Some of the liquid from a neighboring cell leaked out and ate through it. I need to grab a replacement and some different tools, and then I can come back."

"And when will the repairs be completed?" Spock questioned, hands dutifully clasped behind his back. Penelope looked up at him.

"Fifteen minutes," the Assistant Chief informed him. "I'll be back here in five." Penelope motioned towards the elevator. Kirk and Spock nodded in sync, which Penelope found slightly creepy, and then McCoy sighed loudly before going over to sit in the captain's chair.

"Bones," Kirk whined as Penelope walked away, "That's mine!"

"That is indeed the captain's chair, Doctor. Or shall we be calling you Captain McCoy from now on?" Spock pressed.

"It'll be Captain's again as soon as he agrees to get his exam," McCoy insisted, shifting to get comfortable.

"Aww, I knew you didn't just come up here to bother..." Their voices faded as the lift took Penelope down to the main Engineering Deck. She quickly found a new battery to put in the sensors, as well as Scotty's toolkit. After gathering her materials, Penelope re-entered the elevator, stopping once along the way for Xeel to go to her quarters.

By the time Penelope returned, McCoy had vacated the captain's seat, but in his place, Chekov had for some reason filled it. "Waters!" the captain called upon seeing her. "Get Chekov outta my chair! They're committing mutiny!" As Penelope doubted Chekov would seriously do anything against the captain's will, the engineer simply crossed her full arms.

"Good afternoon, Captain Chekov," she said before turning to the Spock's station.

"Traitors, all of you," Kirk exclaimed. McCoy and Spock were standing side by side, both clearly not listening to the captain.

Meanwhile, Chekov had brightened at Penelope's greeting. "Thank you, Lieutenant!"

"How come you like Chekov more than me, Waters?" Kirk asked as he got no response from anyone else on the Bridge.

"Chekov was my Chief," Penelope told him, going back under to fix the sensors.

Kirk made a sound of disbelief. "I'm your Captain."

"Apparently not," Penelope said.

Giving up on her, Kirk once again turned on McCoy. "If you think I'm going to Sickbay -"

"I've given you more than enough time to stall," McCoy offered.

Uhura piped up then. "Can you all be quiet? Some people are actually trying to actually get something done today." Penelope silently agreed, her hands working quickly. She didn't know how anyone dealt with Kirk on a day to day basis.

"How dare you talk to your captain like that," Kirk said, his tone just asking for argument.

The communications officer responded in a confused voice. "I wasn't talking to Chekov?" McCoy barked out a laugh, and Penelope could hear Sulu quietly begin to speak.

"I have a status report, Captain Chekov."

Chekov agreed to receive the report, although while Sulu updated him, Kirk continued to complain and rant.

"I'll go to Sickbay when shift is over, Bones," the man pleaded finally.

"Why? The _Enterprise_ is in good hands," McCoy told him. "And there's only an hour and a half left anyways."

"I agree, Captain," Spock interjected, "You are not technically necessary at this moment." Penelope completed the finishing touches on her repair. She sealed the inner sections with the metal panel and got up, tucking away her tools. No one noticed her.

"Can you send out a message for me?" Penelope asked, approaching an exasperated looking Uhura. The communications officer ripped her glare from Kirk to look at the Assistant Chief.

"Sure," Uhura agreed amicably. Penelope told her to call Jameson, Youngblood, and Fly to Briefing Room 3, and Uhura repeated the message over the intercom. Penelope thanked the other woman before turning to address the first officer. Penelope was a little surprised to observe how caught up in the silly situation the Vulcan seemed to be. She walked up to him softly, clearing her throat quietly.

"Excuse me, sir?" Spock drew his eyes away from the grumbling Kirk and McCoy and over to Penelope.

"Have you completed the repairs, Lieutenant?" His dark eyes stared down at her with intensity.

"Yes."

"Thank you." The words almost sounded as though they were dragged from the first officer.

"You're welcome."

Penelope left while the rest of the Bridge was busy arguing, and then made her way down to Briefing Room 3. Inside, all three engineers were already waiting. Youngblood and Jameson were on one side of the long table, while Fly stood stiffly on the opposite end. They all looked at her when she entered, and the conversation between the C Section engineers ceased.

"You've embarrassed not only yourselves but our entire department with your actions on the Bridge," Penelope stated with finality, crossing her arms and meeting each of their eyes separately. At least they had the decency to look ashamed, Penelope considered. "I'll not only be informing Rome and M'Barrow, but Mr. Scott, I'm sure, will want to hear about this."

At the mention of Scotty, all of them visibly paled. Everyone in Engineering knew you didn't want to get on Scotty's nerves. "However," the Assistant Chief began, "I might reconsider telling Mr. Scott." Penelope could almost feel their hope in the air. "If I hear some apologies."

"Sorry, Wrenchy," they all said quickly. Penelope felt irritation rise within in her at the nickname, but it wasn't their fault. _Just try and remember that_ , Penelope repeated mentally. She was trying to teach them tolerance, not violence.

"Not to me, to each other." At their skeptical looks, and in Jameson's case flat out defiance, Penelope expanded. "You are all engineers. There is no difference, no matter where you work."

"Then why does everyone in A Section act like they're better than everyone else?" Jameson bit out with anger.

"You're delusional," Fly informed the other officer.

Penelope held up a hand in impatience. "If you have a problem with a specific person in A Section, Ensign, then bring that up privately with that crewmember. Don't hash it out during shift, and don't make generalizations."

"And Fly," the Assistant Chief addressed the A Section engineer, "I want to know why the first time I put you in charge of a repair group, it ended in chaos."

Fly looked down, not meeting her gaze. "It wasn't my fault."

"You were the leader. It is your fault, no matter if Jameson or Youngblood were provoking you. It's your job to keep control of the situation." It was harsh, but Penelope could see that Fly was smart enough to rise through engineering ranks, and she didn't want to see him transfer to another ship ill-prepared for increased duties. The A Section engineer continued to stare at the ground, so Penelope looked toward the other two.

"Youngblood, what happened?" His version would at least be slightly less biased than Jameson's or Fly's. The engineer in question shifted under her inspection.

"It was fine at first, we were all looking through the computer banks, but then Fly and Jameson disagreed on replacing the wire connectors to the sensor data storage center. Jameson said we didn't need to, but Fly kept saying we did, and then Fly asked her for other suggestions, but Jameson didn't give any, and then we all started arguing, I guess." As an afterthought, he tacked on, "Oh, and then you showed up, Wrenchy."

"Is that true?" Penelope asked the other two. Fly nodded, and Jameson shrugged.

"Pretty much," Jameson said. "Except that Fly refused to listen to anything either of us said the entire time."

"Fly?" the Assistant Chief prompted.

"That's not true," Fly insisted, "I listened. Just because we never ended up doing the stuff they wanted doesn't mean I wasn't listening to them."

Penelope was tempted to hand the whole mess over to Scotty at that point, but Penelope knew he wouldn't be able to handle the problem because of the Bridge. Under normal circumstance, Penelope would let him set the officers straight, but Scotty had a streak of intense pride when it came to the _Enterprise_ and his position on the ship. The fact that three of his engineers had been unprofessional, especially in front of the captain, might set him off, and Penelope didn't actually want the engineers terrified of their Chief.

Just a little bit afraid of her.

"Fly, when you're in charge of other people, it's good to let them know you care about what they're telling you, even if you don't think it's important. Jameson," Penelope turned to the angry young woman, "you need to learn to follow orders. It doesn't matter if you don't like the person giving them to you. If you thought Fly was making a mistake, I think we both know there were better ways to tell him than insulting him and his friends."

"Youngblood, you didn't have to follow Jameson's lead. You should've kept calm, even if your fellow officers weren't. Are we all clear with what went wrong?" All of them nodded. "Good. Now, please apologize to each other." There was a moment of silence as the ensigns sized each other up.

"Sorry, guys," Youngblood said first. Fly followed his lead, specifically addressing Jameson. After, it took Jameson a minute to muster up the effort.

"I'm sorry, Youngblood," Jameson said, "And Fly."

Penelope nodded in approval. "Thank you."

"Are you still going to tell Scotty?" Fly asked nervously. Penelope had to bite back a smile at his tone.

"No, but your section heads will be informed, and then they decide the proper disciplinary action to take," Penelope told them. "What Mr. Scott doesn't know won't hurt him." Penelope was planning on telling M'Barrow and Rome right away. The Assistant Chief had no doubt that someone from the Bridge would let slip what happened later that day, and Penelope wanted to be able to show Scotty that the situation had already been taken care of.

Otherwise, they'd all be subjected to a very long, very loud lecture.

Penelope dismissed the engineers back to their quarters, allowing them to begin shifts the next day. When she was alone, Penelope sunk down in one of the many chairs scattered around the briefing table. The table was cleared of any spare PADDs or coffee mugs, and the only distinguishing sight in the room was the computer dock at the far end of the table.

It wasn't often Penelope visited any of the briefing rooms. Engineering generally held informal meetings all around the different decks, and only once had Penelope filled in for Scotty during a senior staff briefing. She understood why Scotty dreaded them, as Spock usually led the meetings while the captain pretended not to sleep with his eyes open. How Scotty underwent weekly debriefs from the first officer Penelope would never know.

Right then, the captain burst through the door, looked at Penelope, and then went around to hide under the computer dock. "Lock the door," he whispered. When the Assistant Chief made no move to do so, the captain added in a louder voice. "That's a direct order, Lieutenant. Now lock the damn door!" With a sigh, Penelope got up and pushed in a locking code, effectively sealing them into the room.

She sat back down without another word and pulled out her PADD. If she wasn't able to go back to Engineering, she could at least finish a few reports. The captain continued to cower low, but he asked in a slightly pathetic voice. "Aren't you going to ask what's wrong?"

"Are we under attack?"

"No."

"Is Mr. Scott in trouble?"

"No."

Penelope swiveled a little in her chair. "Then I don't care."

Kirk came out from his hiding spot and pouted. "But Bones is trying to kill me and my crew has turned against me. They made Chekov captain! Chekov! He's like thirteen."

"Nineteen, sir," Penelope corrected.

"Same thing," Kirk insisted, seating himself across from her. "And Spock's just _letting_ Chekov sit in my chair."

"The chair belongs to the captain. Chekov is Captain. It is his chair."

"You sound like Spock," Kirk whined, placing his head in his hands.

"Why don't you go talk to Carol? She's a lot more likely to give you sympathy than I am, sir."

The captain's face went from playfully mad to seriously blank and then back again in a flash. "She's all the way in the Science department. That's forever away, and Bones would probably catch me on the way," Kirk explained. "And hypo me to death."

"Why not just let him do the exam?" Penelope asked, looking up from her PADD.

Kirk shrugged with a smirk. "Mostly it makes Bones mad if I refuse."

"Mostly?

"Also exams suck," Kirk stated. Penelope nodded readily in agreement. "And I don't want to listen to Bones lecture me on getting more sleep anymore."

"Then go to sleep."

"It's not that simple."

"No, it's not," Penelope conceded, "but are you even trying?" Kirk met her eyes guiltily then, and Penelope had her answer. "I think you should just go and let McCoy do his exam. It'll probably scare him if you go willingly."

"Yeah, his face would be great," Kirk said in a dreamy voice, as though he was already imagining the CMO's reaction. "He'd probably start muttering, too. Don't you love when he does that?"

"No."

"I think it's hilarious. It only gets annoying when he starts using too many metaphors," Kirk told her. "Half the time, I don't even know what he's talking about." Penelope turned back to her PADD, scrolling through a report by Yomai. The B Section Head somehow made reports more dry than normal, a skill only Yomai could possess.

A minute of silence passed, and then Kirk said quietly, "Me and Carol broke up."

Penelope's green eyes were instantly pulled from Yomai's writing to Kirk's face. He looked miserable, much different than only seconds ago. "I'm … sorry," the Assistant Chief stated. "Are you – I mean – uh, that is, did you want to … talk?" Penelope was beyond uncomfortable at the situation. Yes, she'd offered to let Kirk talk to her over a month ago, but she never thought he'd actually take her up on the offer.

And about Carol? Penelope and Carol had been friends, until Penelope had decided to stop talking to nearly everyone outside of work duties. Would she have to listen while the captain went on and on about someone Penelope liked more than him?

Kirk was either unaware of her discomfort or simply didn't care, because now the floodgates were open. "We got into a fight last week, like a _fight_ fight. There was yelling, and I think I threw something. Not at her, obviously, but I still feel like a complete ass about it. And I don't even know what it was about, you know?"

No, Penelope didn't know. She didn't want to know.

"How do people do this? Dating other people? Being serious? How does anyone get it right?" Kirk asked. At first, Penelope assumed those were hypothetical questions, but Kirk's continued intense stare made Penelope clear her throat.

"Uh, I wouldn't really know," Penelope said. "I don't really … do serious relationships." That was so awkward. It needed to end.

"Me neither," Kirk exclaimed in agreement, "but here I am. I thought I could do it. Thought I could … I dunno, be important to somebody and not screw it up. Next thing I know, Carol's throwing me out of her room." The man slumped over in dejection, face turned down to the table. "Maybe I'm just not cut out for this sort of thing."

"Maybe you should, er," Penelope suggested, "apologize?"

"I tried. But she was still angry, and she wouldn't listen to me, and now Bones wants to do a physical, and he's gonna see how messed up in the head I am, and then he's going to get all worried and go all doctor mode on me, and my life is over," Kirk ranted.

"You could just explain the problem?"

Kirk snorted. "Yeah, and watch as a giant sign goes up on his forehead: _I told you so_."

"McCoy wouldn't if he knew you were this upset," Penelope defended, "because for some reason, I think he actually likes you. And I know Carol likes you, too. Maybe just give her time. I doubt throwing you out of her room means you're broken up."

"You think?" Kirk inquired hopefully.

"I'm … not sure. Probably," Penelope guessed. Digesting her words, Kirk sat up a bit straighter and began to look less like a rain cloud had descended upon him. Penelope assumed her job as 'listener' had been completed, with any luck for the rest of her life.

"Will you go away now?"

The captain laughed loudly at her question. "You love me that much, huh, Waters?"

"McCoy is probably still looking for you. You should wait for him back in Sickbay."

"I think I might. Maybe take a nap on his coach and scare the life outta him," Kirk imagined, getting up from the chair with a spring in his step. "This was fun. Let's do it again."

"No."

Kirk was approaching her with body language that predicted hugging. Penelope shot up from her seat and backed away. "That will never happen," she expressed the sentiment even further by holding her hands up in appeasement.

"Friends hug!" Kirk stated as a fact.

"We are not friends, sir," Penelope insisted, moving around to the side of the table Kirk had previously been occupying.

"This is definitely a hugging moment, Waters."

"I disagree."

"What if I order it?"

"Chekov is my captain."

"That was just a joke."

"Not to me."

Kirk finally stopped stepping forward, instead crossing his arms in amusement. His baby blue eyes sparkled with mirth. "Alright, alright. I'll get you one of these days, Waters, and then you'll fall in love with me. You and Carol can be my -"

"Goodbye," Penelope interrupted, motioning sharply towards the door. Laughing with joy, Kirk unlocked the door and left much in the same way he had entered: a crazy sprint. Wondering where her day had gone, the Assistant Chief followed suit at a much more subdued pace. Once she got back to Engineering, Scotty was waiting for her in his office.

"Please tell me they were lying," Scotty moaned, bent over in misery. Penelope was officially done with dealing with everyone else's problems.

"What?" she growled, wishing she could slam the door.

"There was a fight on the Bridge?"

"Yes. It is fine, Mr. Scott. Taken care of."

"Who was it?" Scotty asked, blue-grey eyes heated with anger.

"It's fine," Penelope replied, turning on her heel and heading out to hide. Perhaps Keenser could show her his favorite spot in the jeffries tubes. There was somewhere he went up there that not even Scotty could figure out. Ducking behind the dilithium chambers, Penelope started on a low jog away from the still following Chief Engineer.

"Wrenchy! Come back and tell me who I need to kill!"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thanks for all the views and reviews, follows, favorites, and otherwise. This chapter is based on the TOS episode "Requiem for Methuselah". Like with the Corbomite Maneuver, I've taken liberties with the story and dialogue.**

 **The speech Flint makes in italics is from Agnolo di Tura's _Chronicle_ about the Plague in Siena, Italy.**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 15 – His Death Shall Bring Song**

"Things lately haven't been … anyway, I just want to know that you're alright. Talk to me when you can. Bye."

Penelope concluded the message for Tommy, ending the recording and sending the communication out into space through her computer. It was the end of Gamma shift on the ship, and Penelope should've been asleep. Instead, the Assistant Chief strode out of her quarters and all the way up to Sickbay.

Inside, the walls and floor were as blinding as ever, but Penelope only had eyes for the men in the far corner. Upon seeing her, the exhausted looking CMO let out a loud sigh. "There's been no change." But Penelope paid him no heed, striding over to George's biobed and collapsing into the seat between him and Scotty.

Last week, an outbreak of Rigelian fever had overtaken a portion of the crew. Thankfully, the medical staff had managed to isolate the illness to the first thirty crewmembers infected, but the vast majority of them had come from Engineering. All around Penelope were biobeds filled with her engineers, and neither George nor Scotty had been spared. In fact, only Talorak and herself were left standing of the section heads. Keenser had thankfully been immune, but with only the three of them, running the entire department had become excruciatingly difficult.

"How close are we to Holberg?" Penelope asked in a subdued tone. She wanted to reach out, to hold their hands, to assure herself that they were there, but their beds were encased with protective glass covering. She could only look on helplessly.

"Another few hours, I'd say," the CMO informed her. Penelope had convinced the captain to let her go with the landing party, though it had taken every bit of her willpower to do so. She just couldn't wait around for the rest of them to come back with the mineral cure. She had to be there and make sure the mission succeeded. What if it failed and she had just stayed on the ship? How would she be able to live with herself?

She was ready, had been ready for days, to get the ryetalyn from the planet, and nobody and nothing was going to stop her from getting it.

"You should get some sleep before we go," McCoy suggested softly, approaching her seated figure.

"So should you," Penelope returned harshly, her gaze glued to George's rapidly rising and deflating chest. If there was anyone on the ship that needed rest, it would've been the medical staff, not Penelope.

The doctor took the hint, going off to do whatever it was he needed to, and Penelope spent the next long while watching and worrying.

* * *

"Jim's called us down," McCoy said, shaking Penelope from her inner line of questioning. The engineer nodded, following the doctor out of Sickbay with one last glance back at her people. Nurses and doctors flitted around their beds like bees, and Penelope hoped desperately to be back quickly.

Neither of them spoke as they made their way down to the Transporter Room. When they arrived, the captain and his first officer were waiting patiently by the machine, while Talorak stood manning the controls. Penelope went to Talorak first.

"How's the ship?"

Talorak looked worn, as they all did, but the new sense of urgency to retrieve the ryetalyn made his eyes bright. "As good as she could be, under present circumstances." Penelope nodded, reaching forward to clasp the D Section Head's arm in solidarity. "Be safe, Wrenchy," Talorak said.

"And you." She then collected a phaser, tricorder, and communicator from the other engineer before making her way over to the trio of senior officers. They had quietly been discussing the goals and details of the mission between them.

"You good, Waters?" the captain asked. Penelope nodded, adjusting her red shirt around her new tools. "Alright, then. We're going down there, we're getting that ryetalyn, and then we're back on this ship as fast as possible. Everyone got that?" They all agreed, so the captain motioned for them all to get onto the transporter.

"Energize," the captain called out, and seconds later, Penelope was on her first real planet-side mission. She had no time to truly ponder the new ground under her feet, the alien air she was breathing, or the familiar shades of sunset that the sky took on. It was startlingly tranquil.

"Report, Bones," the captain requested as Penelope gripped her phaser nervously. She'd never gone on another planet besides shore leave, and she hoped the feeling of being watched was simply paranoia. Their captain, unfortunately, was known to attract trouble wherever he went.

"There's a large deposit of ryetalyn about 4 kilometers that-aways," McCoy said, pointing his free hand to the northeast. "We need to go now, otherwise -"

The first officer, with his own tricorder in hand, cut McCoy off. "Captain, there appears to be a humanoid in the vicinity."

"I thought you said the planet was uninhabited," Kirk claimed. Penelope watched as his hand grabbed the phaser on his belt in reaction. Spock nodded.

"The ship's sensors did indicate as such; however, tricorder readings suggest the opposite," the first officer explained, continuing to keep his eyes on the instrument. Penelope kept quiet, content to observe and go unnoticed. Her eyes darted around, searching for any kind of mysterious movement.

The captain shook his head and responded. "We'll ignore it for now. Let's go and get the ryetalyn," he ordered. They began to make their way over a small path of rocks and brush before a strange noise drew all their eyes to the south. A small, round-bodied machine flew over in their direction, and Penelope stepped behind the three men. She sure wasn't going to be the first to die.

Not when Scotty needed that medicine. On that thought, Penelope grabbed the doctor's back, bunching up the material of his blue shirt, and pulled him behind Spock and the captain. He looked over at her with irritation. "What're you -"

The rest of his question was overtaken by a loud explosion. All four officers jumped back at the machine's attack – some sort of laser beam that landed at their feet, and four sets of phasers were then pointed at the thing. "Fire," the captain ordered, but when Penelope pressed the trigger, nothing happened. She glanced discreetly over at the rest of her group and saw similar results.

"Okay," the captain stated, "so that's a bust." The machine fired once again at them, this time almost hitting Spock. They were slowly backed into a corner, a tall sheet of speckled rock behind them. With no way to approach the enemy, and no way to attack it, Penelope did the only thing she could. She stepped directly in front of McCoy, even as the machine bleeped angrily, a sign of another laser.

McCoy was the only one that could save the crew.

"Stop." A commanding, but unfamiliar, voice filled the air around them, and suddenly, the hunk of metal backed off. An older man with ash blonde hair approached the officers. His outfit looked dated by at least a few decades, and his boots loudly crunched the light dirt under his feet.

Stepping forward, the captain introduced himself. "I'm Captain James T. Kirk of the _U.S.S._ _Enterprise_."

"I am aware," the man stated simply, his posture as rigid as the first officer's. Penelope continued to keep a steady hold on McCoy, despite the doctor's clear annoyance at the position. "Your ship has been monitored."

Penelope saw the captain share a quick look with the first officer before addressing the stranger again. "So you know why we've come here, Mister, uh ..." the captain trailed off pointedly.

"Mr. Flint."

"Yes, Mr. Flint. So, if you don't mind, we'll just be -"

The stranger kept absolutely still as he interjected. "You will leave my planet." Penelope clenched her jaw and her grip on McCoy tightened.

"Your planet, sir?" Spock questioned.

Flint pursed his lips. "This is my retreat from the abuses of Earth and the people who inhabit it." His retreat? People didn't just own planets, and especially not for … vacation homes.

Penelope saw as the captain's hand clenched tightly on his phaser. He stepped forward once. "Mr. Flint, I've got a very sick crew up there. All we want is to take some ryetalyn," the captain stated. "We have no where else to turn. You cannot refuse."

"You are trespassing."

"We're asking you for help," the captain pleaded, his voice only hinting at his inner emotions. "Whatever you need from us, we'll do it. We only need the cure."

"You have nothing I want," the emotionless man intoned. Penelope saw red. How could he stand there and refuse them this? If he had seen Scotty collapse as she had, if he had watched as George's smile slid from his face, the way Gus clutched his body in pain, would his answer be the same?

"We'll take it by force. I don't want to do that, Mr. Flint, but I will if have to." Good, because if he didn't, then Penelope was going to rip out the man's fingernails. She wanted to put her hands around his throat and make him _see_.

"Leave voluntarily, or I will use force," Mr. Flint informed them. Before anyone could react, Penelope marched forward in between the captain and Flint. She kept her voice low as she addressed the man.

"Do you see these men?" Penelope whispered menacingly, pointing over to her companions. Mr. Flint looked over, but in a way that screamed of arrogance and boredom. She was practically shaking with the need to attack, but instead she merely leaned in closer. "They live by a set of standards. They are explorers, adventurers, people that bring messages of goodwill and peace throughout this galaxy."

"Do you know what I am?" she said. Penelope met his cold gaze with the heat of a flame. "I am a dog on a leash, and one that is not so well kept." She brought her mouth right up to his ear and said quietly, "I would gladly rip your throat out where you stand. Your machine might try to stop me, my captain might try, you might try … _but will they be fast enough_?"

There was a tense moment between them. Eventually he whispered in her ear, "You are everything I despise." Then more loudly, "Captain, perhaps you should get a tighter hold on your female." If it hadn't been for the forceful hand on her shoulder pulling her away, Penelope might actually have done something, no matter how much her speech had been simple empty threat.

"Waters, back off," the captain hissed quietly, gently pushing her back towards the first officer and the CMO. "I apologize, Mr. Flint. Waters has been a bit, uh, high-strung lately. Some of her friends have fallen ill." Flint and Penelope were still locked in a staring battle when he responded.

"I am not surprised at her barbarous behavior. Some people simply cannot be civilized," Flint proclaimed. Penelope would love to show that man how uncivilized she could really be, but then McCoy interrupted with a statement.

"Have you ever seen a victim of Rigelian fever?" McCoy asked.

"I cannot say that I have."

The doctor shook his head. "If not for a recent shipment of a rare medical compound, the infected crew would've died in a day. As it is, we've had to keep them sedated, otherwise the pain of their illness would drive them to madness. The effects of the disease are similar to the Bubonic Plague."

That seemed to affect Mr. Flint in a way Penelope hadn't been able to. The man's face became pinched, his expression somewhere far away.

" _I, Agnolo di Tura, called the Agnolo the Fat, buried five of my children in a pit with my own hands, and many others did the same; and dogs would drag the bodies out and devour them across the city. No bells rang; no one mourned any death, however important, for almost everyone was expecting to die at any moment. Things had reached the point where people thought no one would remain, and many believed and went round saying: this is the end of the world. There was no doctor that could help and no medicine; no remedy whatever. Those who tried hardest to ward it off seemed to die first. And indeed the Mortality was so great and grim and horrible that no pen could ever describe it_."

There was another turn of silence as the party digested Mr. Flint's words. "Are you a student of history, sir?" Spock suddenly asked, breaking the quiet moment. Flint seemed to consider the words with a grim amusement.

"I suppose so," he said, and then considered the group of Starfleet officers. " _Enterprise_ , a plague ship. Ah, well, you will be allowed two hours to stay and then you must be gone. M-4 will gather the ryetalyn that you require."

"Thank you," the captain said in relief. The machine from before, M-4, flew off to where McCoy had previously indicated. Penelope watched the interaction with wariness. People like Flint didn't just change their minds at a moment's notice.

Flint came forward, waving out a hand. "Allow me to show you my home, in the hopes that it is a more comfortable place to wait." Penelope scrunched up her mouth in disagreement, but a hard look from the captain had her backing down.

"Of course," the captain replied, leading the way behind Flint. After a silent five minute walk, Penelope came to see a large, white castle, complete with cerulean blue domes. The two moons of the planet were in full few, creating a fairy like effect on the structure. They crossed a stone bridge, and underneath was a raging green river, and the mountains in the distance flashed dark purple, competing with the sky.

Penelope could see why someone might retreat to Holberg 917-G.

They finally entered through a two-story tall set of dark oak doors and were greeted by a large entrance hall. There was a grand staircase of similar dark wood, and the marble floor shone from the reflection of the delicate chandelier. Flint directed them through a side arch that led into an expansive study.

Marble floors continued to stretch throughout, and ceiling high sets of bookshelves lined almost all the walls. A cherry wood desk sat imposingly in the center, and expensive rugs were scattered tastefully throughout. Artwork was positioned expertly along the walls, and there were statues and displays in every corner. Penelope spotted an adjacent piano room a little ways off.

While the rest of the group fawned over objects the engineer couldn't hope to identify, Penelope peered into one of the paintings.

It looked old and was the portrait of a young woman. Her hair was dark, held up on her head in an intricate style, and her dress looked like from the … Dark Ages? Penelope didn't know much about history, or about anything besides fixing things really. But the background caught Penelope's attention. While the woman smiled serenely, the window to her right showed the chaotic scene of a burning village.

"Waters," the captain called, drawing Penelope from a hypnotic like trance. She twisted her body around to face the other three officers, only then noticing that Flint had disappeared. Penelope looked at the captain expectantly.

"What the hell did you say to Flint?"

"Doesn't matter," Penelope told the captain.

His expression disagreed with her. "We'll discuss it later," he decided, "just leave the talking to me from now on." Penelope nodded, and so the captain turned his attention to the first officer and the CMO. "If the ryetalyn isn't here within the hour, we go and get it ourselves. Agreed?" The other two nodded, and Penelope went back to stare at the curious painting.

"It is strange, Captain," Spock began, "this is the most extensive and unique private collection of artwork I have ever seen. The majority are works from Leonardo Da Vinci, Reginald Pollok, and there is even a Stenn from Marcos II. Yet, though I recognize the brushwork of these particular masters, I cannot help but be unfamiliar with the paintings themselves."

"What I wanna know is what turned that man into a hoardin' hermit," McCoy interjected, glancing around the room.

"Indeed," Spock agreed, "I would also enjoy the explanation of why such a man has retreated into solitude and so completely rejected other life forms, in particular human ones." Penelope could care less, but she figured her input wasn't strictly necessary at that time.

"Look at that!" McCoy exclaimed, drawing Penelope's attention to an large bottle filled with some type of hard liquor. "That's hundred year old Saurian brandy. I'll be damned." The doctor started to pour himself a glass. "Jim?" he offered.

"Just one," the captain cautioned. McCoy looked to Penelope, but she shook her head. Then, the doctor turned to tease the first officer. "I know you won't have one, Spock. Don't want them perfectly calibrated brain waves corrupted by this all-to-human vice."

And then Spock surprised everyone by agreeing to a glass. "Have you ever been drunk before, Spock?" the captain asked curiously, a happy note to his voice. The first officer did not respond, choosing instead to take a small sip of the bright red liquid. His silence spoke volumes.

"No," McCoy said. "No way this pointed-eared bastard got drunk."

The captain was too busy laughing to form a response, and Spock continued to stay stubbornly quiet on the matter. Penelope walked over towards the piano room. She stood in the doorway, staring at the beautiful instrument and listening to the other officers banter.

"When was this?" McCoy interrogated. "Was it with Uhura? Before? At the Academy?"

"Doctor, I have not yet even confirmed what you now hold as fact."

"Then why won't you answer the question?"

"I simply do not wish to trouble myself with such -"

"Don't gimme that bullshit, ya hobgoblin. Tell me straight. Have you ever been intoxicated?"

"I am currently drinking a substance which would give one the result of intoxication."

Kirk snorted. "You know what he means, Spock."

Penelope inched forward into the smaller room. Her hands brushed over the piano with care, her fingers lingering on the covered keys. She breathed in the smell of the old instrument, and looked on at it, a memory flickering at the edges of her mind.

* * *

 _Her mother sat beside her on the bench, and Penelope's legs dangled in the air beneath it, kicking aimlessly. The yellowed keys of the piano sat imposingly in front of her eyes. This was before they had sold the piano after her father had left, before the dark days and the darker nights, when life had been calm and imperfect in a good way._

 _"Put your fingers here," her mother directed. Penelope looked up at her face, watching as straight black hair escaped from the confines of her mother's ponytail and framed her patient expression._

 _"Not there, silly. Here." Her mother took her tiny hands and placed them on the correct keys. Penelope stretched her hands up, curving them at her mother's insistence. "Okay, now try again." The little girl complied, her fingers stumbling over the notes. It sounded all wrong, and Penelope pulled away and crossed her arms._

 _"I can't do it," Penelope exclaimed, glaring at the piano as though it had wronged her. "I'm too stupid!"_

 _Her mother reached forward, brushing a thumb across her cheek. "You are not stupid, me cherie. You just need more practice."_

 _"I'll never be as good as you," Penelope complained, though she uncrossed her arms and leaned a little more firmly on her mother's side. "You can do everything." Her mother laughed at that, but it was a nice laugh, so Penelope didn't mind it when her mother put an arm around her and tugged her even closer._

 _"My Penelope," her mother cried fondly, "I don't know how I ended up with you, but I'm very glad I did. Now why don't we try one more time, okay?"_

* * *

The sound of M-4's loud beeping brought Penelope back to the present. She turned around instantly and waited for any sign of hostility from the machine. Fortunately, M-4 flew in, dropped the ryetalyn down on a table near the rest of the officers, and exited without incident. As Penelope came forward, McCoy snatched up the crystals protectively.

"It's ready to be processed, Jim," McCoy proclaimed, examining the crystals with his tricorder.

"Good. Beam back up immediately and start," the captain ordered.

Flint strode in confidently and interrupted the conversation. "That will not be necessary, Captain. M-4 can complete the process more quickly in our labs. Meanwhile, I hope you'll agree to be my dinner guests. It isn't often I have company here."

"Mr. Flint, though we appreciate the offer, we have neither the time nor the trust to allow that to occur," the captain said. Penelope wanted to get off Holberg as soon as possible, and could find no argument against going back to the ship.

"Please. I simply wish to make amends for my earlier behavior," Flint stated, gesturing for another to join him. A young woman entered the room then, her clothes also slightly dated. Her long blonde hair had been pulled up into a swirling ponytail, and she looked to Penelope like a porcelain doll. She couldn't have been older than Chekov at the most.

"This is Rayna, my ward," Flint explained, and when Penelope saw the captain's expression, she internally groaned. She really, really hoped he and Carol had gotten back together after their conversation over a month ago, because otherwise, Kirk's face meant a whole lot of trouble was coming their way.

"I believe you said you lived alone, sir," Spock said.

"I meant that only my family resided here. Rayna was placed with me after her parents died in my employ," Flint responded. "Rayna, this is Ms. Waters, Dr. McCoy, Mr. Spock -"

At that, Rayna jumped into the conversation. "Mr. Spock, I do hope we can find a moment to discuss field density and its relation to gravity phenomena." Even her voice sounded perfect, and Penelope was slightly disturbed that Flint was the only company Rayna had.

"An interesting topic," Spock agreed.

"And this is Captain Kirk," Flint finsished, nodding in the captain's direction.

"Captain Kirk," Rayna greeted.

The way the captain said the young woman's name made Penelope want to bang her head against the wall. Maybe she could get some blood on the man's priceless paintings and ruin their value. "What else interest you, besides gravity phenomena, Rayna?" Kirk asked.

"Rayna possesses the equivalent of seventeen university degrees in the sciences and arts. She is aware that the intellect is not all – but it must be cultivated first, or else the individual is prone to irreversible errors," Flint said.

Penelope cleared her throat. "I wasn't aware Rayna couldn't speak for herself." Everyone's eyes drew to the engineer, but she met their gazes with a challenge. She did not have time for creepy Flint's, flirty captain's, curious Vulcan's, or drunk McCoy's.

"I do not mind, Ms. Waters," Rayna told her serenely.

"Just Penelope," the Assistant Chief answered back, and then she glared at Kirk. "Weren't we supposed to be leaving now, sir?"

"Ah," Kirk remembered, "right. I'm terribly sorry, Rayna, Mr. Flint, but this ryetalyn is needed on a time sensitive basis. We really should be heading back to the ship." Kirk flipped open his communicator to tell Talorak to beam them up, but Flint held up a hand.

"I told you, Captain. My laboratory is more than sufficient for the task. Your doctor would be able to supervise M-4, of course, and you all can take a rest from what I'm sure has been an exhausting week," Flint offered. The captain seemed pleased with this alternative.

"Bones, do you think that would work for you?" Kirk asked. McCoy opened his mouth to answer.

"I don't see why -"

Penelope interrupted. "Sir, we know nothing of these people. It would be safer to return to the ship."

"Waters, when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it," Kirk told her, his voice not as harsh as the words he said.

"With all due respect, sir," Penelope bit out, "you aren't thinking about the crew."

"I'm always thinking about my crew," Kirk disagreed.

"Then why would you agree to use Flint's labs when we could just as easily use our own."

Spock stepped forward, hands clasped behind his back. "I must agree with Lieutenant Waters, Captain. There is no apparent reason to stay here."

"Our mission is to make contact with other life. Well," Kirk stated, "that's what we're doing."

"Captain, in this case, I believe the needs of our sick crew far outweigh that particular directive," the first officer argued. Penelope felt relief course through her as Kirk backed down at Spock's insistence.

"Bones?"

McCoy shrugged. "I find it extremely uncomfortable to admit, but Spock might actually be right, Jim."

Kirk turned back to Flint and Rayna, smiling amicably. "It seems I've been outvoted. If we had more time …" Kirk trailed off.

Flint came forward, grasping Kirk on the shoulder. "Perhaps another time, Captain. Good luck," he said to the rest of them.

"Goodbye," Rayna waved.

Spock took the time to open his communicator. "Spock to the _Enterprise_."

"Talorak here, sir."

"Four to beam up, Mr. Talorak. Energize," Spock ordered, and Penelope felt briefly the sensation of being condensed. When they were back aboard the _Enterprise_ , the other engineer walked away from the control panel and up to Penelope.

"Did you get it?" the D Section Head asked.

"Yes," Penelope told him. McCoy ran off immediately with the first officer, and Penelope hoped that the process would be finished soon. Talorak tried to ask more questions, but the captain interrupted their discussion.

"Waters, with me," the captain ordered, taking long strides from the Transporter Room. Talorak shot her a worried look, but Penelope just shrugged without care. She went out quickly, trailing behind the captain by a few steps. They entered a nearby rec-room that was empty of any people.

"I should've never taken you with us," the captain proclaimed suddenly, spinning around to face Penelope. She said nothing in response. "What did you say to Flint at the beginning?" Still, she did not answer. "Did you threaten him?" At her lack of words, Kirk crossed his arms. "I want answers, Waters."

"And I want Scotty to wake up," Penelope spat. "You almost made that impossible."

"I'm not the one that almost attacked the only person that could've given us the ryetalyn."

"Well we have it, don't we?" the Assistant Chief argued.

Kirk looked down at her coldly. "No thanks to you."

"If we'd done it your way, we'd all have been stuck down there with that demented M-4 machine. Flint probably would have poisoned our food, too," Penelope insisted with a touch of petulance. Kirk threw out his hands in exasperation.

"You don't get it, Waters. It wasn't your decision to make!"

"I'm not the only one that wanted to leave."

"Spock and Bones were fine to stay until you decided to offend Flint and Rayna," Kirk stated, his eyes turning as cold as the rest of him.

Penelope scoffed. "I didn't do anything to -"

"Oh, then what did you say to Flint when we first met him?"

"What happened between us is no business of yours," Penelope said.

"Of course it's my business," the captain burst, "I'm the captain! And it's my people you've put at risk."

The Assistant Chief sneered. "You didn't seem so concerned about 'your people' when that little girl showed up." Her voice dripped with contempt. If he thought she'd just stand idly by while he chased his newest conquest around, meanwhile Scotty and George and Rome and all the other people who were actually _important_ were dying, then the captain was more delusional than she thought.

"Are you seriously implying that I cared more about sex than saving the crew's lives?" Kirk pressed, his voice as angry as she felt.

"Yes."

Kirk raised his finger and opened his mouth to reply, but they were interrupted by the beeping of an incoming message. The captain gave her an irritated look while he flipped open his PADD. "Kirk here."

"Jim, it's McCoy. The ryetalyn we got's no good."

The surprise on Kirk's face was palpable. "What?"

"It's contaminated with irillium. Make's it useless."

"So we have to go back?" Kirk asked, his gaze fixed on Penelope. She crossed her arms in response.

"It's our only choice," McCoy admitted.

"Get Spock and meet me back in the Transporter Room. Kirk out." He flipped closed the communicator and looked Penelope dead in the eye. "You're staying here."

"You can't do that," the Assistant Engineer argued, stepping forward.

"Yes I can. And you're confined to quarters until I get back," Kirk ordered as he started to walk out. "This conversation isn't finished, Lieutenant." With that, Kirk was gone, and Penelope looked around for something to smash. She wanted so, so badly to chase after Kirk and punch him in the throat. Or kick him. Or …

Penelope stomped out of the rec-room, only to formulate a plan. Maybe she was confined to quarters, but a medical emergency could place her in Sickbay, where she could keep an eye on the sick engineers. The Assistant Chief pulled out a cutting laser from her pocket. With a deep breath, she uncapped the tool, and pressed it against her left arm.

She let out a quiet yell at the pain of it cutting into her skin. Satisfied that it would be serious enough to merit a visit to the medical center, Penelope capped the laser and entered the elevator. "Sickbay," she muttered, clutching her injured arm. It hurt, but it was Kirk's fault. If he didn't come back with that ryetalyn within the next few hours, she would break the order and go down to get it herself. _Screw protocol_ , Penelope thought, _this was about Scotty_.

When she entered Sickbay, Penelope meandered over to the same place she had sat early that morning. Keenser was sitting on the opposite side, his head drooping down in sleep. He had been worse off than most of the other worried engineers, and though Penelope did her best, Keenser was inconsolable.

 _At least he had finally fallen asleep_ , Penelope considered as she pulled out her own first aid kit and started treating her wound. He was the only engineer Penelope hadn't ordered away from Sickbay in the last week. Everyone in Engineering had at least one friend in the medical center, but after the CMO had visited Scotty' office to complain, Penelope had been forced to restrict access so that the doctors and nurses could work.

Keenser, though … well, there was no telling Keenser what to do in the first place. Only Scotty could get away with doing that, and even then, Keenser mostly ignored the man.

Penelope hadn't noticed, but sometime during trying to disinfect the cut, M'Benga had come over to look at her progress. "That's just not right," his voice drew Penelope's concentrated gaze from her arm and up to him.

"Uh." That was all she could attempt before M'Benga dragged a seat over to her and plopped down into it. He motioned for her to move her clumsy hand away before grabbing the disinfectant and doing it himself. "I know that McCoy likes to exaggerate, but I think you may actually be an idiot, Waters."

"Thanks," Penelope sighed, leaning back and staring at the doctor's quick-moving hands.

"How did you cut yourself?" M'Benga asked, searching around for some gauze.

"Well," the engineer began, but she really didn't know what to say. She couldn't tell him what she actually did for so many reasons, so she settled on something less inflammatory. "Engineering accident."

M'Benga raised his eyebrows. "I thought you were going on the landing party."

"I was, but then we came back," Penelope explained.

"Right," M'Benga said in disbelief as he finished wrapping the cut. "Keep this on for a little while. And try not to do anything stupid for the next couple hours, if you can possibly manage it."

Penelope tried to hide a weary smile. "I think McCoy's rubbing off on you, Doctor."

M'Benga shook his head. "No one could reach that man's level of grumpiness." The doctor walked away, and Penelope turned her attention onto George. He looked horrible, like he was already dead. Because of the sedation, none of them had opened their eyes in days, and it was starting to seem like the glass covers made the biobeds into coffins.

A nurse came by to check on George and Scotty, and she greeted Penelope with familiarity. Just because Penelope had made the rest of the engineers scram, didn't mean she always followed her own rules. Whenever she hadn't been on duty, she'd been there by their sides. How could she not be?

Penelope set an alarm on her PADD to go off every hour, and then the engineer settled more comfortably in the chair. She closed her tired eyes, and let the world slip away easily.

* * *

The sound of voices took Penelope from sleep into the waking world. As she slowly recognized her surroundings as Sickbay, Penelope strained to listen as Kirk and Spock spoke somewhere she couldn't see.

"... that old?"

"Yes, Captain, and … to age now as normal."

"Can't …"

"Indeed. How … history inside of him."

"And the girl?"

"... handle the stress."

"What … shame."

Kirk and Spock exited the CMO's office, which Penelope realized had been opened. As they spotted her, the first officer dipped his head in acknowledgment before leaving the Sickbay. Looking reluctant, the captain made his way over to her.

"Weren't you supposed to be in your quarters?" Kirk asked without any bite.

Penelope held up her injured arm. "Woops."

Kirk took a long moment to stare at the bandaged wound. "You're insane, Waters." Before she could argue that point, Kirk continued. "We got the ryetalyn. This stuff's fine, and Bones'll start administering it in a matter of minutes."

"They'll wake up?" Penelope asked, a hand going to her heart and bunching the fabric of her shirt in excitement and relief.

"Yeah. They'll be on their feet in no time, and Bones can go back to being his normal irritated self instead of his exhausted irritated self. It's infinitely worse when he's tired," Kirk explained. Penelope tilted her head in thought.

"What happened with Flint and Rayna?"

Kirk rubbed a hand on the back of his neck. "Actually, Rayna's dead." Penelope blinked at him slowly. "She was an android," Kirk expanded, but Penelope just continued to stare. "And Flint's like, six millennia old. And he was in love with Rayna, and he tried to kill me cuz I might've made out with her. I didn't know she was an android, though. Well, even if knew …"

It was a long time before Penelope answered. "Woops?"

"Yeah," Kirk nodded. "That's about right."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you for the views and reviews. :) Enjoy!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 16 – The Love Where Death Has Set His Seal**

"You should really have more for breakfast than coffee, Penelope."

The Assistant Chief met the eyes of the weapons specialist as Carol seated herself across from her. As usual, she was eating some sort of extremely healthy, but surely disgusting, food for her morning meal, while Penelope sulked over a familiar mug of coffee. The steam from the hot liquid made Penelope even more warm than she already was, but there was no way she was going without her coffee on a day like that.

"Hello," Penelope said in a scratchy voice.

Carol looked at her strangely. "Are you sick?"

"I think I have a cold," Penelope told the other officer. Her voice sounded strange to her own ears, like someone had stuffed her nose and ears with cotton balls, and she had a headache the size of Neptune. "Don't tell anyone." Carol smiled in amusement.

"I don't think I'd have to. You look like shit," Carol said. "How've you been besides the cold? Haven't seen you much around."

The engineer shrugged, resting her heated forehead on her hand. "Busy."

"Is that all?" Carol wondered.

"Yes," Penelope coughed. The other officer considered her steadily for a moment and then breathed out a long held sigh.

"You know Jim and I are on a break?" Carol admitted suddenly. No, Penelope hadn't known that. Not for sure, anyways, and the engineer was officially done with hearing about the captain and Carol's relationship. Why did the both of them feel an urge to have heart-to-heart chats with her about the other. It made Penelope want to jump out of the airlock.

"Oh?" Penelope said simply.

Carol sighed. "Sometimes, I think we got involved too soon. Nobody really knows, but we actually started dating even before we left Earth." _Wow, how interesting._ Penelope was willing to escape to Sickbay at that point just to not hear any more details about them.

"Really?" Penelope intoned neutrally, sipping her coffee and feeling like death.

"Yeah, and you know what else? He can be so bloody full of himself sometimes." That would be a surprise to absolutely no one. "And we always had to work around his schedule, not mine, because he's the captain, and for some reason, that makes his job more important than mine."

Penelope wanted to go back to bed.

"Are you sure you're done?"

"With what?" Carol asked in confusion, looking down at her breakfast.

"The captain."

"No, but that's why we're on a _break_."

"I don't think he knows the difference," the engineer guessed, drinking more of her coffee and sighing happily as it started to hit her system.

Carol shook her head at Penelope. "If you have a cold, you really shouldn't be drinking that. And how do you know he doesn't know the difference?" Penelope shifted uncomfortably in her seat. How was she supposed to tell Carol that she knew Kirk had been involved with an android last month? Penelope didn't think that technically broke the rules of whatever a 'break' was, but she didn't think Kirk would go around with other people if he knew he still had a chance with Carol.

"He's stupid," the engineer proposed.

Carol nodded in agreement, chewing her oatmeal. When she had finished, she said aloud, "He really is." Penelope sneezed into her elbow, grabbing a napkin to blow her nose. "This is why you should eat better." Penelope ate perfectly fine, in case Carol was wondering. Not everyone was as obsessive compulsive about it, but Penelope figured it was a lost cause to try and argue the point.

Glaring instead, she took a pointed gulp of coffee.

"It's your misery, I suppose," Carol reasoned. "Maybe I'll tell Dr. McCoy how sick you're feeling."

The glare turned into a plead. "You wouldn't," Penelope begged. The man was certifiably insane, and no doubt he'd take the simple opportunity of a cold and try to experiment on her so that he could post the findings in some obscure medical journal. Then, he'd sell the new drug to the rest of the crew and kill them all.

Obviously.

"I won't if you have lunch with me," Carol bargained. "Come on. I need more people to talk to than other scientists. Don't tell anyone this," the weapons specialist leaned in conspiratorially, "but they can really be quite dull." Penelope had to crack a smile at that.

"Not Mr. Spock?"

Carol laughed loudly, and Penelope swallowed her grin with a sniffle. "Come meet me in my office at 1400. We can eat in there, and I can tell you all the crazy things Spock has said to me lately. I don't want to ruin the suspense, but he once told me that I should 'cease with my human tendency to disrupt the workspace with spare personal items'."

Penelope looked at her with confusion. "He meant he wanted me to get rid of all the cool stuff in the science officer's office."

"Not the posters?" Penelope gaped. No one could dislike Carol's funny posters, not even the Assistant Chief. They made everybody laugh, no exceptions. Why would Spock want those gone? "Do you think …" Did the first officer find them funny, too? Penelope could just imagine the straight-faced Vulcan trying to contain himself in the presence of such outlandish cartoons.

Carol nodded knowingly. "Exactly. See you at lunch," Carol said, and then the science officer took her oatmeal and cheerful morning person attitude and left Penelope to sulk more over her coffee. Well there went her plan to just cruise through the rest of the mission on her own. Carol wasn't so bad though, and George was never going to leave her alone. She liked most of the security officers, too, and Scotty and Keenser couldn't be got rid of, and …

Penelope was in denial, she realized. It was never going to be just a job. She couldn't live, work, eat, relax, and do all sorts of things with the same people day after day and expect to have total isolation. Even when she actively tried, the engineer had failed spectacularly to be on her own.

 _What a bother_ , the Assistant Chief thought as she sneezed again and sighed with irritation.

* * *

"Wrenchy," George said in a sing-song voice upon seeing her enter B Section. "You look horrible."

The Assistant Chief instantly knew that her headache was about to get ten times worse. Trying to ignore the engineer, Penelope searched around for Yomai. George sauntered over to her, a goofy expression on his face, and Penelope thought it might be fun to sneeze on him. Maybe then he'd stop looking so irritating.

"Oh, Wrenchy," George called again, walking right up to her, "I know something you don't know."

"Most people do," Penelope answered blandly, looking over his shoulder to see if the B Section Head would magically appear and save her.

George pouted. "Yeah, but I know something cool. It's about Yomai." The Assistant Chief shot him a look that said: _well spit it out_. Clearing his throat and straightening his shoulders with all the importance of a king, George yelled, "It's his birthday!"

"I'm not falling for that again," Penelope said simply, sidestepping George and going around the rest of B. She greeted a few of the engineers politely while George trailed behind her.

"I'm serious this time," George complained. Then he paused. "How do you even remember that, though? It was like, two and a half years ago."

"Because Yomai remembers," Penelope told him helpfully. "Where is he?"

Ignoring her question, George pressed on. "He thought it was funny." Penelope shot the engineer an irritated look.

"No, he didn't."

"A little bit."

"He still hates me because of it," Penelope stated, crossing her arms.

"Hah," George smiled, "He still hates _me_ because of it. I think he likes you." The day Yomai actually liked someone was the day McCoy stopped calling people idiots. It would just never happen. It wasn't natural.

"George, where is he?"

"Who?" the engineer asked in fake confusion. Penelope sighed in exasperation and was about to put on a very scary face when a nearby engineer piped in.

"Wrenchy, ma'am, if you're looking for Yomai, he's actually on break right now," Ensign Wood stated quietly as she peeked her head out from under one of the shield operators. "And it's not his birthday, either." Penelope nodded and thanked her, but George scowled.

"Betrayal! Blasphemy! I thought we had something special, Theresa!" George cried, dropping to his knees beside the other engineer. Penelope shook her head and started walking away, but she could hear the other woman's answer.

"That's not even my name," she said in irritation.

"Tina?"

"No."

"Tally?"

"No."

"Tootsie?"

"Stop fucking around, George, you know my name," Wood requested, and then their conversation faded as Penelope went out of hearing distance. Once back in Scotty's vacated office, Penelope dropped down the report she'd wanted to discuss with Yomai and set about finishing the duty roster for the next two weeks.

She wondered briefly if she'd ever get used to putting Gus's name down instead of Illa's.

Shaking the thought from her head, Penelope continued to rearrange names and hours based on new requests. A little ways into the task, the engineer sneezed loudly. She searched around her pockets for a tissue, and upon finding one, blew her nose pathetically. By the time Scotty showed up, the litter on his desk included a mountain of used tissues. He looked at her with disgust. "This is why ya should've just stayed in today," the Chief muttered, "yer going ta get everyone sick." Penelope just started to throw the tissues in a wastebasket and didn't respond.

"Is that finished?" Scotty asked, removing her from his chair and plopping down in the seat. He grabbed up the in-progress duty roster, and she mumbled a bit about how _she had been sitting there_ before finding a new spot across from him. Once seated, Penelope blew her nose again and answered.

"No."

Scotty tsked and then started to take over where she had left off. Penelope leaned back in her chair, trying to shake away shivers, and quietly answered a few questions the Chief had about certain engineers and different ways to make sure the schedule fit everyone's needs.

It was a bit difficult because a lot of engineers had been pulling double and triple shifts to cover for all the sick crew who had only been released from Sickbay two weeks ago. They'd gotten the medicine sure, but it had been a while before the ryetalyn finally kicked in. In some respects, Penelope wanted for them to get a break, but she also couldn't expect the still recuperating engineers to make up for lost time.

"Go and make sure Rome's not blown up my core, would ya Wrenchy?" Scotty muttered after a particularly loud sneeze. Upon seeing her mutinous look, the Chief met her gaze. "Fine. Ya can go on break then." That really hadn't been what Penelope meant, but Scotty's dismissive wave had her gritting her teeth to hold back insult.

With one last cold glare, Penelope shuffled out of Engineering and went to the Science Department to meet up with Carol. The orderliness of the deck made Penelope think that the first officer must have spent a lot of time making sure everyone cleaned up after themselves. Everything was put away: there were no drinking cups around, no spare tools out. Either Spock had lectured everyone into cleanliness, or the rest of the science personnel was as strange as he was.

Her red shirt stood out spectacularly amongst the sea of blue, and not a few people looked over at her curiously. At the end of a long hallway stood the door to the science officer's office, which Carol mostly occupied.

 _Seriously_ , Penelope thought, _everyone had an office but her_.

She knocked twice with her knuckles and then the door slid open with a swish. Inside, the weapons specialist dragged her finger across a computer screen, examining diagrams of something-or-another that Penelope couldn't identify. Carol gestured silently with her other hand for Penelope to sit down. As the engineer did so, she noticed something horrific.

Carol had brought salad.

"No."

The science officer followed Penelope's distasteful gaze and cocked an eyebrow. "What?" she asked innocently, as though Penelope was just going to go along with her evil plan.

"Just no."

Closing the program, Carol spun ninety degrees in her chair and faced the engineer. The science officer only smiled and started to divide the salad onto two plates. "It's good for you. Look, there's spinach."

"Nobody likes spinach," Penelope grumbled, looking around the room. Carol's silly posters were still up on the walls, and there was a viewing screen to the outside on the outer-left wall. The floor was covered by a light carpeting, and the distant hum of a greenhouse made Penelope cock her head to listen.

"I like spinach," Carol informed her, placing the salad in front of her with a fork. "And I'm not nobody." As Penelope looked down at the food with dread, she wondered why Carol wanted to be her friend in the first place. Why would anyone want to talk to Penelope at all? She wasn't very nice, and she didn't particularly scream _let's hang out_.

"Stop picking at it and just eat it," Carol requested in an irritated tone. Penelope made a face, clutching her fork protectively against her chest. The science officer sighed. "This is why you're sick. Because all you do is drink coffee. I swear, the only time I've seen you eat is when somebody makes you."

Penelope snorted. "That's not even a little bit true." Then, of course, she sneezed and had to pull out a tissue to wipe her nose. Carol gloated silently, meeting her eyes with a superior expression. The Assistant Chief scowled. Would Carol be offended if she threw the plate across the room? The smashing sound would be so satisfying …

"Oh my goodness, just try it!" Carol laughed. "It's not poisoned, I promise." Sighing loudly, the engineer slowly stabbed her fork into the salad and lifted it in front of her face. She inspected it closely, and then brought it into her mouth. Penelope chewed. "Well?" Carol asked.

Swallowing, Penelope replied, "It tastes green."

"You're a child," Carol informed her.

Penelope's ensuing glare was ruined by another sneeze. While Carol giggled at her, the Assistant Chief considered how to get the other officer back. Maybe she could ask George to help her, as he never had anything important to do besides piss people off.

"My dad was the same way as you," Carol said, but her face was faraway and her tone had quieted. Penelope minutely straightened up in her chair. "I kept telling him he was going to ruin his health, but I guess in the end it didn't really matter either way." The engineer felt something surge in her chest, an instinct to help in some way. Instead of keeping her mouth shut like a normal person, Penelope responded.

"It did," Penelope told Carol. "No matter when they go, it always matters."

Carol shot her a grateful smile. "What about your father, Penelope?"

"We don't talk." The answer felt cheap next to Carol's loss, like Penelope had wronged her by having a living father and not speaking to him. She knew Carol would probably give anything to be able to see her dad one more time, while Penelope hoped to not see hers for the rest of her days.

How horribly cruel the universe could be.

"My dad and I had a lot of problems," Carol said, her eyes glued to her plate. "We were always fighting, but sometimes I think that's good if you fight. Because then you find out if the other person's willing to say they're sorry." Penelope could see that the weapons specialist was blinking away tears, and the engineer dutifully pretended not to see them. "He always ended up saying sorry. Except for the last time."

"You love him," Penelope said simply after a quiet few seconds.

"He's my dad," Carol stated as though it were an explanation.

Penelope wished it were that simple, that love was predisposed to certain people. But for the engineer, it had always been presented as a choice.

 _Do you love your mother_? Only when she was still able to smile prettily. _Do you love your father_? Only before he went far, far away. _Do you love your aunt_? Not enough to go to her funeral. _Do you love Olivia_? On the good days, when Andoria's cold weather drove them to snowball fights and ice skates. _Do you love Johnny_? She left him dead on the floor.

So pale, and so broken, and she'd left him there. Why did she always leave him there – in her dreams, in the dark behind her eyelids, in the visions of that horrible day?

 _Do you love his children_? She had to take care of them. _Do you love Marie_? Johnny wanted her to. _Do you love Tommy_? Her mother had been fond of him, when he'd just been a baby. _Do you love Illa_? She had lied to her every moment of every day.

 _That does not change the fact you cared for her._

No, and that was why it hurt so acutely. Because it had been a choice, and Penelope had failed there too.

"Do you ever think about her?" Penelope asked in a rough voice, and she knew that Carol understood her meaning instantly.

"Sometimes I wake up in the night, and I think I'm back on that ship, only we didn't get off it in time," Carol admitted. "Do you think Illa felt it, when it exploded?" There was a tremble in the other woman's tone, and Penelope had to look away again.

"No," the engineer lied, her eyes trained on her boots, fork sliding lazily in her hand.

"She saved you," the science officer said with conviction. "I could tell how much she cared about you, Penelope. No matter what happened, I think she always just wanted you to like her. That's why you were on the ship, so that when Illa's people took over the _Enterprise_ , you'd be safe with her."

"Look how that turned out." The bitterness in Penelope's tone implied the rest of what she didn't say: _look how that turned out, caring for me_.

"It's not about the result," Carol argued. "It's about trying to do something right in the first place."

Penelope had no answer to that, or perhaps she had too many, because the next round of silence seemed to drown her with a thousand unspoken possibilities and a thousand regrets along with them. "What a depressing lunch this became," Carol laughed humorlessly. "All I wanted you to do was eat some salad and not get a vitamin deficiency."

With a dramatically disgusted look, Penelope started to shovel the leaves into her mouth, prompting a truer laugh and a turn to less serious topics.

* * *

"Wrenchy, wake up."

Someone was shaking her shoulder gently, and Penelope sniffled, not answering the call. "Wrenchy, you need to wake up." The voice was insistent, and Scottish, so Penelope continued to ignore it. She had been so tired and warm, couldn't the Chief just leave her alone? "Penelope, please."

The use of her real name had Penelope blinking her eyes open in confusion. Why was Scotty's face hovering above hers. "Thank god," Scotty sighed. She realized she was laying down on her back, which further befuddled her, and she tried to pull herself up. The Chief Engineer's arms pushed down on her shoulders with a bit of force. "Don't move, lass. Someone's coming down from Sickbay."

"What?" Penelope asked in shock. "Why?"

Ignoring her questions but keeping a firm grip on her, Scotty turned his head around. "Back up and go back ta work before I give you all Gamma shifts." There was a general grumbling from off to the side, and Penelope could hear as multiple sets of boots trod away.

"Mr. Scott, why am I on the ground?"

He scowled down at her, but it didn't quite hide the concern in his grey gaze. "Ya passed out, don't ya remember?" Penelope shook her head, trying to draw the memory to mind. All she recalled was being strapped into a harness, working on a refit of the matter compartment. "Keenser had to come get me. You just went slack ten feet up in the air."

"I'm fine now," Penelope insisted, wishing to get up from the metal ground. Of course she had to faint like an idiot. A lot of good that disgusting salad had done her.

"Rome and I had to go up there ta get ya down," Scotty continued, apparently not hearing her. "Ya were so pale, lass, we weren't sure ya were breathing. I told ya not to work today. I should've made ya leave, should've just told ya to go …"

"Sir, I'm really fine. Can I please get up now?" Penelope requested with a hint of steel in her voice. Scotty glared down at her.

"No. The medic said not ta move ya till she got here," Scotty stated.

"But I'm okay," Penelope said.

"Ya look like death warmed over."

"I promise I feel fine."

"Ya don't look fine, Wrenchy," Scotty argued, and Penelope felt the urge to bite his hands away from her shoulders. Thankfully, two medics finally showed up. The one woman knelt down on her other side and greeted the engineers.

"Hiya, my name's Shirley," the medic said to them both as she took out a medical tricorder and started to run it over Penelope. The other medic stood silently off to the side. "Scotty said you fainted, um, Wrenchy?" Shirley said her name in a question, like she already knew it was the most stupid nickname in the galaxy.

"Waters," Penelope corrected. "And I'm fine. I've just had a cold."

"Fever?" Shirley questioned, reaching out to her hand and taking a quick blood sample. A quick prick of a very thin needle distracted Penelope for a moment, so Scotty answered of her.

"Aye." She gritted her teeth at Scotty's presumption, but let it go after seeing the worry etched into his features.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Great," Penelope told the medic, ignoring Scotty's glare.

"Okay," Shirley responded, "why don't you try sitting up." Penelope did so, and tried her best to ignore the wave of dizziness. Shirley observed whatever was reading on the tricorder, while Scotty kept one hand stubbornly on her arm.

"Hmmmm," the medic hummed in thought. "Do you think you can stand?"

Penelope was struck by the question. She was a little unsure that she could stand up without falling over, and she really did not want to pass out again. On the other hand, if she said no, would someone have to carry her to Sickbay? The thought caused her to shudder.

"Are you alright?" Shirley asked, another hand reaching out to steady her alongside Scotty's.

"Fine," Penelope answered, and she clenched her jaw in determination as she struggled to her feet. When the world swayed slightly, the engineer was instantly supported by two sets of arms.

"I got it," the other medic stepped in, taking Scotty's place. "We'll take her to Sickbay, Scotty." The Chief nodded, smiling without joy as he waved them off.

"Have fun, Wrenchy!"

"I'm just tired," Penelope tried to explain to the two emergency personnel. "I've been sick."

"We're just taking you there so that a doctor can look you over and make sure everything's a-okay," Shirley said brightly as they entered the elevator. Penelope wanted to kick something in frustration, but she stopped herself by breathing deeply. Wasn't the medics fault, she supposed. And it was always best to be safe. M'Benga would probably just shake his head at her and let her go on her way.

Slightly calmed, the three officers left the elevator and headed over into Sickbay. Penelope briefly considered how odd it was that she had ended up in the medical center so often in the last nine months. When Johnny had been on the ship with her …

* * *

"No." Penelope said as McCoy's face came into view. Shirley darted her eyes between the CMO and the Assistant Chief curiously. They'd gotten her into a biobed, and she'd asked not to have to lie down. Shirley had agreed reluctantly, and the other medic had left to, Penelope presumed, get M'Benga.

"What the hell did you do, Waters?" McCoy drawled, irritation permanently ground into his scowling face.

She closed her eyes and buried her head in her hands. "Please, anyone but him," she begged. She didn't know who she was addressing, whether Shirley, McCoy, or some nameless deity, but it didn't matter because her plead went unanswered.

"Let me guess, another accident with your laser?" McCoy pressed, waving away the medic. She left in a hurry, likely recognizing a rant when she saw one. "Or did one of the idiots in Engineering manage to somehow blow something up? Should I expect more of your drooling redshirts to follow?"

"Where's M'Benga?" Penelope asked.

"Day off," McCoy informed her. "And lie down. You look like you're about to drop dead."

"Sanchez?"

"Busy."

"McLean? "

"Just clocked out."

Penelope wanted to keep listing off names of doctors, but McCoy looked like he might actually combust, so she laid down in the biobed and silently cursed the CMO to some horrible fate. "Johnson said you fainted," McCoy muttered, bringing a whirring object up to her face. She knocked it away.

"Who?"

"The girl."

"Shirley?" Penelope asked.

"Yeah, whatever her first name is, it doesn't matter. You fainted, yes?" McCoy pressed impatiently, looking impatiently to her.

"Yes."

"Was that so damn hard to say?" Before Penelope could respond, McCoy continued. "Were you feeling ill before then? Dizzy, nauseous?"

"I have a cold," Penelope said, hoping that the CMO would exhaust himself of insults and questions quickly and just let her leave.

"If you were feelin' sick, why in the hell were you up fixing some damn engine battery?"

"It wasn't a battery," Penelope said. "It was the matter section of the dilithium -"

"I don't care what it's called. I'm a doctor, not an engineer." McCoy grabbed her wrist and took her pulse without the machine for some reason. His hands were as freezing as usual, making her shiver at the touch.

"Obviously," Penelope grumbled.

"You have a temperature of thirty nine point seven." McCoy shook his head. "You got a death wish, Waters? You and the rest of this brain dead crew think nothing can touch them. Didn't nobody ever teach you people to just give it a rest sometime and stay in bed when you're sick?" Penelope sighed, closing her eyes and letting the CMO complain to his heart's content.

"I swear, the number of times I see people comin' in here like you, Waters. If someone were to give me a tenth-credit every Sickbay visit that could've been prevented by some common sense, well I'd be a …"


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Thanks so much for the views and reviews, guys!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 17 – Shore Leave II**

 _"Walk me through the day she died."_

The sound of slapping skin hitting synthetic leather rippled throughout the empty exercise room. Penelope was eye-level with a speed bag, attacking the structure with measured punches, and she did her very best to keep Robinson's earlier words from her mind. In their place, her mother's voice rose hazily.

 _"Death is not the end. It's an adventure."_

 _Wish me luck_ , her mother had requested in that final message. She had tacked it onto words from Penelope's childhood, words that had only been to soothe the pain of losing a beloved goldfish. How could her mother equate the two different loses? Was it supposed to have been ironic? Meaningful? A cry for help that had been answered too late?

Penelope could painfully remember the dread she had felt upon reading the message on her receiver. _Death is not the end. It's an adventure, so wish me luck._ No matter how fast she had run home from work, no matter how fast the bus had sped along, the police had still beat her there. She'd snuck past the warning signs and watchful guards. She'd gotten as far as the bathroom door before they pulled her back.

Ringing of police sirens and the flashing of red and blue lights.

The sight of an alabaster arm hanging loosely out of the bathtub before different sets of arms tugged her away.

Lowering her fists and breathing heavily, Penelope fell to her knees on the protective mat. She sat with her legs spread out to the sides, and she buried her head in her gloved hands. Weren't those meetings with Robinson supposed to help her, not make her feel like trash?

 _"You also falsified your age on official documents to become her medical guardian."_

 _"She had gotten worse. I couldn't make her get help."_

 _"So you broke the law?"_

 _"I didn't know what else to do."_

When did she ever? Penelope had been playing the guessing game since day one, and no amount of time would ever give her the confidence to say: yes, this is what needs to happen, one hundred percent sure. She'd been younger than Tommy, just trying to take care of someone she loved. Her very first irreversible mistake.

 _"When did she meet your father?"_

 _"They were in secondary school together. They just sort of … fell in love."_

 _"She didn't tell you any stories about it?"_

 _"She told me that love wasn't like a story, with a beginning and an ending."_

No, of course she hadn't, because to Penelope's mother, death was only the next step. Penelope wondered if everybody secretly yearned for it. The world could be a scary place after all, and Penelope could see the appeal of letting everything go. But Penelope wouldn't ever leave anyone behind, not like her. That had been her mother's final irreversible mistake.

A first and a last, a daughter and a mother.

 _"I wanted you to tell me more about your mother."_

 _"My mother?"_

 _"Yes, what was she like?"_

Everything Penelope wasn't, and she hoped it stayed that way.

* * *

"You should go now, Mr. Scott, if you don't want the captain to have to wait."

As many of the engineers were leaving the deck, Penelope, Scotty, and Keenser loitered around the warp core. The _Enterprise_ was orbiting a colonized planet, Aries II, and shore leave had already been in effect for three days. Most of the engineers were taking their break that day, and while Scotty and Keenser would transport down with the main Bridge team, Penelope had opted to take a later day.

"Aye, aye," Scotty mumbled, doing his last nervous checks around A Section. Penelope and Keenser trailed behind the Chief, sharing an amused glance when Scotty almost tripped over an abandoned tool kit. "Are you sure I hafta go, lass?"

"Captain's orders," Penelope stated firmly, pushing him gently towards the exit. Keenser started tugging Scotty along by the arm, ignoring the Scot's irritated rumbling about _boy-captain's and their demonic schemes_. Penelope had to hid a grin with her hand at the sight of the Chief dragging his feet. When they had finally left and an eerie silence swept over A Section, Penelope ducked into Scotty's office.

The room was an absolute disgrace, from the half-pinned up blueprints to the mostly empty bottles of liquor lining the floor. With a sigh, Penelope leaned down and started sorting through the mess, determined not to ever make maintenance suffer through Scotty's office again. She created piles of things to clean: scotch and ale in one, PADDs in another, general trash going in a recycling unit, and the … dirty socks? Penelope roughly threw those in the corner and shuddered.

As she started to resign herself to calling Lovett, Penelope picked up a loose-leaf of paper that was folded neatly under a pile of PADDs on Scotty's desk. Too curious to simply leave it, the Assistant Chief gently unfolded the sheet and examined it's contents.

 _Dear Monty,_

 _Paisley's starting to climb all over the furniture without help. Oh, the joys of having a two year old! Yesterday, I caught your dear niece throwing blocks at another child's head in her daycare. I swear, she gets more and more like you by the minute._

 _I do hope they let you come back to visit soon. Mother would, of course, be so pleased, and then pretend not to be the moment you arrived. I sometimes see why you would join Starfleet, if only to escape from the incessant nagging of …_

Penelope stopped reading and re-folded the letter, placing it delicately on Scotty's chair.

Ignoring the missive, the Assistant Chief went back to wading through the grime of Scotty's office. It seemed to take forever until Penelope could finally see the floor again. As she cleared more and more trash away, the engineer came across another interesting bit of Scotty's life: a holo-album.

Again, Penelope opened the thing, unwilling to put it down right away. The first page produced a holo of Scotty's family. He himself looked maybe ten or eleven, and there was a girl ducking behind his legs that was probably a younger sister. They looked alike, Penelope noted. Same eyes and jawline. Their parents stood behind them, his mother looking straight-faced while his father beamed from ear to ear with an arm thrown around the woman.

Penelope flipped to the next holo. Scotty as a baby, with chubby face and limbs. She was tempted to copy the image for blackmail, but she really didn't want him knowing she was looking through his things.

The one after that portrayed the sister again, only now she looked to be a teenager, maybe Tommy's age. She was barefoot, dressed in a loose-fitting outfit, and her face had been painted with pretty designs.

As Penelope continued to look through the album, the photos started to show a progression to more recent dates. There was one of Scotty in Cadet reds, one of Keenser and Scotty out in the snow somewhere, one of Scotty and Kirk with their faces flushed by what looked like brandy, one of the whole Bridge crew and Scotty out at night together, one of a newborn baby - Paisley? - and the sister again, one of a group of engineers: DeSalle, Yomai, Johnny and herself, and some others that Penelope recognized from years back.

Flipping again, the engineer's mouth twisted into a smile. It was a holo of Scotty and Penelope in the California sun, eating lunch together on the outer hull of the damaged _Enterprise_. The giant printed name of the ship and its serial number glittered black in the light, and their legs dangled off the edge of the ship while they squinted at the camera.

The last holo in the album was of Penelope and Keenser, taken recently in that very office. Penelope was lounging with her feet on the desk, arms crossed behind her head, and shooting the viewer a cool glance. Keenser had climbed up on of the cabinets behind the Assistant Chief, secretly hiding Scotty's own PADD.

Closing the album after one final glance, Penelope collected herself and began sorting away all the odds and ends left behind her clean-sweep.

* * *

"What the hell have ya done to mae office, Wrenchy?" Scotty exclaimed the next afternoon as Penelope was headed towards the Transporter Room. She sighed audibly, keeping a steady pace and trying her best to control the urge to trip the Chief.

"Fixed it."

Scotty stepped in front of her, blocking her path. "Don't fix what's not broken, right?" Penelope sidestepped the Chief Engineer and continued on her way, leaving him calling out from behind. "I'll get you back for this, mark my words!" She rolled her eyes as soon as her back was towards him. As she stepped into the Transporter Room and onto the beaming device, she signaled for Tyler to let her down.

Aries II, at least the part that the _Enterprise_ crew had chosen to visit, looked remarkably like the Earth Penelope knew. Blue sky, paved roads, flying and ground cars, people walking in every direction. The Assistant Chief shoved her hands in her pockets and picked a direction to follow. South seemed as good as any other, so off the engineer went.

Her boots squeaked differently on that ground than on the floor of the starship, Penelope noted with subdued delight. The air was fresher, less recycled, and there were different faces to observe. It was a change of pace, and it served to let the officer relax her shoulders and breathe more deeply.

After strolling aimlessly for about a half and hour, Penelope felt and heard her stomach rumble. She placed a hand on her stomach in thought, stopping and glancing around for any sign of food. She saw none, so the engineer walked a little further down the seemingly endless road. At last, Penelope saw an albeit dingy, but perfectly readable, sign for _Gill's Grill_.

Penelope crossed the road after a short wait at a stoplight, her eyes darting around for any unforeseen traffic headed her way. The door to the diner wasn't automatic, something Penelope hadn't realized she'd gotten very used to since joining Starfleet. It took her a moment to remember to pull the thing open, and she desperately hoped no one saw her confusion.

The inside was just as run-down looking as the sign, but not dirty in the slightest. It looked like a retro-Terran establishment, something probably created for tourists like herself. The bar-counter stretched from one wall and curved into an L-shape, and all around it were booths with brightly colored seats.

Penelope grabbed a spot at a stool, and though the place was moderately busy, a man approached her from the other side of the counter almost instantly.

"Whatchoo havin?" he asked, stylus tucked behind his ear and wide, green eyes turned her way.

"You have coffee?" The man nodded, turning away to a set of worn looking machines, and Penelope did her best not to sigh. Real, not replicated coffee. He approached her with a tall, steaming mug, and that time Penelope couldn't stifle a happy sound. The engineer grabbed the handle quickly and took a sip.

"Thank you," she remembered to say after a moment. The man looked bemused.

"No prollem. You wan some food, too?"

Penelope glanced back behind him at the menu. It flashed with names of food items and pictures, and the sight of a hamburger made Penelope instantly think of the version of that meal they had on the _Enterprise_. When would she have the chance again? She ordered a burger and fries, and the green eyed man nodded before yelling back to the kitchen something in slang she couldn't recognize. Then he leant down on the counter.

"You with them 'Fleet guys?" Penelope nodded, sipping more of the coffee. "Some a' them came in here yeserday, makin' a whole lotta noise." She shrugged. "We had a real goo' time, though. Din we, Remmy?" The man called back the last part loudly, and an answering deep voice answered in a noncommittal grunt.

"One o' them kepp yellin' his name out. Musta been on somethin'. Wha' was his name again, Remmy?"

It took a while for the bodiless voice to answer. "Jerry?"

"No!"

"Gerald?"

"No, not that."

"George!"

"Yeah, yeah. That's the one!" The man called in success, to which Penelope simply groaned and shook her head. "Ya know him?"

"Unfortunately."

The man smiled, and Penelope thought it made him look nice. "Where you from, lady? Your Stanard's a lil funny."

"So's yours."

"Ain it jus'?" The man questioned rhetorically. "You got a name?"

"Do you?"

"Rom," he said with a shake of his head. "That's my brother back there, Remmy. Romulus and Remus, god our parents were original." Penelope let out a small laugh at that. "Now I tol' you mine. You gotta tell me yours."

Penelope held out a hand, which Rom grabbed firmly. "Penelope."

"Why in the stars you in the 'Fleet, Penelope? Seems like a ways' of a life, if you ask me."

She shrugged. "Just kind of happened."

"Don't it always, though?" Rom wondered aloud. Then 'Remmy' started shouting expletives from the back, and the man behind the counter rushed back with a smile at her. Penelope put her head on her hand and sipped more of her coffee, listening as two sets of voices started to curse. Other customers started to look over in curiosity.

"Everything's fine," Penelope heard a waitress say to the couple in the booth directly behind her. "This happens all the time."

Rom rushed back out and met her gaze. "You don't happen to know nothin' bout mechanics, do you, Penelope?"

"I do." With a relieved expression, he rushed forward, flipped open a door that separated the counter from the main floor of the diner, and offered her a hand.

"Could you help us 'for we end up settin' fire to the kitchen?" Penelope shrugged, gulping down the rest of her drink before taking the man's hand and heading back to the kitchens. When she got there, Penelope was once again struck by how clean the place was, despite its old apearance.

Electrical sparks were coming from what looked to be a type of dishwashing machine, and Penelope approached the structure cautiously. "Can you fix it?" Remmy asked. Penelope's eyes darted between the two men. "Yes, yes, we're identical. Can you fix it, though?" The engineer nodded, kneeling down and using the wrench in her boot to open the operational panel down below.

"He was jus' tryna put some a the plates in there, an' then, bam! It started doin' this," Rom explained as Penelope noted the problem. Wishing she had some sort of gloves, the Assistant Chief asked if they had a melder for the wiring. Remmy rushed off to get it, while Penelope did what she could without the tool.

Moments later, the other man returned, thrusting the melder into her hand and stepping back to a safe distance. Penelope bent her head away, pressing the button on the tool and realigning the frayed wire to its correct spot. Once the job was finished, the engineer gave it one last thorough glance and then put the panel back into place.

As she tucked the wrench back into her boot and handed the melder to Remmy, Penelope was cheered on by Rom. "Oh my stars, tha' was amazin'. Where you learn so much about dishwashin', Penelope?"

She shrugged, nodding at Remmy before re-entering the restaurant from behind the counter. "Can I get more coffee?" Rom laughed.

"Can you ha' more coffee? Penelope, you can have all the coffee you wan'! I was 'fraid you was goin' to burn your face off," Rom rambled as she situated herself back on the stool across the counter. Penelope accepted the new cup gladly, enjoying the smell of the freshly made drink.

"Is this your restaurant?" Penelope asked as Rom gave her the burger and fries. He took one off the plate, munching on it before answering.

"Yep, me an' Remmy's. And it was our parent's before, and their parent's, an' so on, an' so on," Rom grinned, taking another one of her fries. Penelope shrugged him off, grabbing the burger and biting into it. _So much better than ship food._ "We live in the aparmen' block down the way."

Penelope cocked an eyebrow. He laughed.

"If you're thinkin' that's an invitation, well," Rom said, "it was."

"You say this to all the officers that come down here?" Penelope asked, not hiding a small grin. Rom shrugged, still eating her food.

"Basically, yeah."

Penelope checked the time on the menu board behind him. "As long as it wasn't to George, then I'm fine with that."

Rom leant his arm back down like before, his green eyes twinkling. "Wanna have the honors of walkin' me home after my shift, Lieutenant?"

* * *

 _Penelope was at a crossroads, on a street somewhere in a place that was at once familiar and strange. The signs pointing in either direction had only faded, incomprehensible words, like time had rubbed them away, and there was an unnatural silence that made the engineer shiver._

 _"Which one looks more exciting?" Johnny asked from beside her. His hand gripped hers tightly, and Penelope could feel the warmth from his palm leaking onto hers. She turned her head to look up at him. His face flushed healthily, his dark eyes sparkled, and his red uniform looked straight out of a presser._

 _The Assistant Chief shrugged. "Neither. Let's stay here," Penelope suggested, tugging on Johnny's hand._

 _"We can't just stay. That'd be boring," Johnny complained. "Just look around, nothing." Penelope did, and noticed that he was right. They were surrounded from behind by a darkness that emitted more emptiness than space. Penelope moved closer to Johnny._

 _"I'm scared, Johnny."_

 _"I know."_

 _"What if something bad happens?" Penelope asked, and it was like she had asked him a million times before. And she knew what the answer should've been before Johnny even opened his mouth to reply._

 _But, instead, he just frowned, breaking the familiar cycle._ _"You gotta just jump sometimes, Penelope. Just jump and don't look back." Johnny dropped her hand and stepped away. She tried to move her legs, to run back to him, but it was like her boots were glued to the dirt below her._

 _"I can't do this!" Penelope cried as Johnny continued to step away into the dark void behind them. "How am I supposed to do this on my own?"_

 _"I can't fix this one. I'm dead," Johnny told her wisely as his body became surrounded by shadows._

 _"That doesn't matter! Help me! I don't know what to choose!"_

 _"Stop looking back."_

 _"Johnny!" But his face had disappeared along with his body, and Penelope alone faced the two opposing roads._

 _"Penelope?" Illa held her left hand tightly. Penelope glanced down in surprise at the other woman, but she didn't pull away. "Do you know what I think?"_

 _"What?" Penelope asked absently, memorizing the details of a face that was fading from her memory far too quickly._

 _"I think it doesn't matter which one you pick, so long as you make the choice in the first place," Illa said._

 _"Did it hurt?" Penelope asked the younger engineer, whose Starfleet uniform was as fresh and new as Johnny's. Her blue eyes glanced up into Penelope's with an eagerness that was just so her._

 _"Didn't feel a thing," Illa beamed._

 _"I should've gone back for you. Shouldn't have taken the shuttle away," Penelope mumbled, but Illa just laughed, squeezing her hand._

 _"You can't keep trying to go back, Wrenchy. Go forwards this time. Make a choice." Then, like Johnny, Illa darted back into the darkness. Penelope's eyes darted between the two roads, equally alike in every respect. She wouldn't be able to turn back once she picked one, that much was clear to the engineer._

 _"I don't know what to do," Penelope muttered hopelessly. "I don't know."_

 _An unfamiliar taunting voice called from above, and it frightened Penelope to the core._

 _"Too late!"_

* * *

Penelope darted upwards in an unfamiliar room. She was panting, and a cold sweat stuck on her skin and made her shiver.

"You ok?" Rom's bleary voice called from beside her. The engineer turned her eyes down to Rom, his body covered slightly by a crumpled navy blue sheet. His green eyes watched her tiredly, and Penelope looked out the window, seeing a pitch-black sky. It reminded her terribly of the darkness in her dream.

"Yes," Penelope answered as her heart slowed, and she laid back down on the bed, throwing an arm behind her head. She stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom, noticing the grooves of the thing and smiling. "Do you want me to go?" the engineer asked, eyes still glued upwards.

Rom rolled over, tucking an arm around her bare midsection and sighing into her shoulder. "Nah, just spooked me's all." Penelope nodded, closing her eyes and thinking about her dream. As the man's breathing started to deepen into sleep, the engineer carefully removed herself from his hold and set about gathering her uniform. When she at last threw the red overshirt onto her body, Penelope tugged on her boots and exited the room. His brother was lounging on the couch, watching a holovid and eating some type of snack she'd never seen before. He waved in recognition.

"Tell him I had to go back," Penelope instructed as she passed Remmy on her way out.

"Will do," he saluted mockingly, turning back to the screen, and with that, Penelope walked into the stairwell. Every noise echoed loudly, her boots clanking on the metal steps. By the time she got back into the open air, Penelope was glad to be free of the endless steps.

She had more time, technically, but with nothing to do, the engineer simply went back to the rendezvous point and opened her communicator. "Waters to the Transporter Room."

"Tyler here." Penelope blinked in surprise at the fact he was still on duty.

"One to beam up." In the next second, the Assistant Chief was on the Enterprise again. Tyler looked dead on his feet. "Shouldn't someone have come to relieve you?" Tyler nodded but grimaced.

"White got herself stuck in Sickbay. Scotty told me to stay here till he got back," Tyler informed her. She shook her head and told the Ensign to sit down. Penelope strode from the Transporter Room, comming Scotty as she jogged to Engineering.

"Waters to Scott." It took a moment for a response to come through.

"Scott here, Wrenchy."

"What's happened to White?" Penelope asked as she finally got into the elevator. "Engineering," she called out, her mouth turned away from the communicator.

"Her harness wasn't strapped on properly. Fell down about the life-support system." Penelope sucked in a deep breath. The elevator let her out into A Section, and the Assistant Chief strode into Scotty's office and started up the computer.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"Aye, the Doc said she'll be right as rain in the next two days," Scotty informed her. Breathing a sigh of relief, Penelope checked to see who could fill in for White and Tyler on the computer system. Smiling an evil grin that no one could see, Penelope finished the conversation with Scotty before calling George.

"Ensign George, you're needed in the Transporter Room," Penelope called over the Engineering intercom.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Thanks for the views and reviews! Also, I wanted to give everybody following this a sort of heads up. This story will probably be around twenty-five chapters long. There will be a sequel (likely multiple ones), but no more from Penelope's point of view after that. My hope is to cover the entire five year mission. Just thought I'd let you all know there is an endpoint. We won't just keep going on and on and on and ...**

 **Anyways, onto the story. Enjoy :)**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 18 – Ring of Fire**

It had been two years since she last saw Johnny's face.

Penelope rolled over in her bed, clutching her pillow to her chest and failing not to wallow. The Stardate was 2261.60, and how could it already have been that long? Her computer told her the time upon waking, 1030, and Penelope now only had five minutes if she was going to make it to Engineering on time for her shift.

Somehow, she couldn't find the will to leave her cocoon of blankets.

She felt a deep sense of longing in her chest that hurt like the time Illa stunned her in the heart. She wanted for Johnny to come back, for all the crew that had died to come back. Penelope curled more deeply around herself.

It was 1057, and her shift started in three minutes. It was time to get out of bed, put on real clothes, and go to work. The engineer yearned to simply comm Scotty and tell him she felt sick, but Penelope needed to set an example. Personal problems couldn't come before her job, no matter how much she felt like sinking into a hole and staying there for the rest of the week.

With a surge of energy that came from nowhere at all, Penelope shot up into a sitting position and swung her legs over onto the floor. She shivered as her bare feet hit the ground, and the engineer hurried over to pull on her uniform. Tugging on her clothes haphazardly, Penelope tried to make her bed in the same moment.

She may have tripped a few times, but no one would know either way.

Wishing for coffee – or possibly something stronger – the Assistant Chief half-ran down the hall into the lift. "Engineering," Penelope called as a few others shifted inside the elevator after her. The lights from outside flashed as they were transported levels away. Another engineer left with her as she exited the elevator, and as Penelope made her way to A Section, she checked in with the section heads.

Gus had just arrived, like Penelope. Talorak was just getting off duty. M'Barrow had been there since five that morning due to a small emergency with the heating mechanism of the ship, and Yomai looked as neatly pressed as ever, telling her in a monotone voice that everything was fine. As she strode into A, Penelope saw Rome and Fly lounging by one of the computer docks, discussing with animated gestures something about propulsion systems.

Scotty and Keenser, because she hardly ever saw one without the other, were both sitting on the steps to a catwalk right on the edges of the outer wall of the core. When the Chief saw her, he waved Penelope over with a more subdued grin than usual. The engineer approached carefully.

"G'morning, Wrenchy," Scotty murmured, his face suddenly glued to the PADD in his hands. She nodded at Keenser before repeating the phrase to them both. The Assistant Chief informed him of the status of the other sections, meanwhile Scotty listened with an almost unnatural silence. Normally, he would interject with comments or just make weird noises in agreement or disagreement with any of her observations.

Penelope could tell it was going to be a long day for everyone.

"Are you sure you don't want to go later?" Scotty asked, addressing the elephant in the room. The captain had planned some type of memorial service to commemorate _Vengeance_ 's attack, and everyone aboard the ship was welcome to go, although attendance was strictly voluntary. Penelope had already told Scotty she wasn't going, but it seemed to be important to him that she did.

"I'm sure, sir," Penelope said. "Someone needs to stay here."

Scotty shook his head. "It's fine. Rome said he'd stay if you want to go."

"I'd rather not, sir," the Assistant Chief insisted, looking anywhere but Scotty's eyes. She could see him slowly slump his shoulders down, and Penelope couldn't help the rising guilt that accompanied the movement. She couldn't put into words correctly that she preferred to mourn alone. It wasn't personal or any kind of slight to Scotty or the rest of the crew, but Penelope would always hold her grief to be a private thing.

"If that's what you want," Scotty muttered doubtfully.

Penelope suddenly reached forward, grabbing Scotty's shoulder reassuringly. "It is." He smiled a bit at the corner of his mouth, and grasped her hand for a moment before getting up off the steps. Keenser followed suit, saying nothing. Scotty told her quietly to go help Talorak's second, Reynolds, in D Section and patted her on the back as he passed.

Keenser's hand brushed hers as Penelope spun around to go back to the other engineering area. As she walked down the path to D Section, Penelope's thoughts drifted to DeSalle, the former Assistant Chief Engineering Officer. The last time she'd seen him alive, he'd been in B Section, and together they'd done their best to stabilize the shields.

Two years. Had it really been that much time?

* * *

Spending the day in D Section maybe hadn't been the best choice for Penelope.

She had been D Section Head back before _Vengeance_ 's attack, and everytime the Assistant Chief turned around, she expected to see Ellis or William ducking out from under an impulse generator. George was in B Section, but hadn't he just been over there at the computer dock, manning the Bridge's auxiliary controls? And Johnny, where was he?

The rest of D Section had been in flux, with engineers coming aboard the ship in training or a visiting expert filling in during one of the _Enterprise_ 's shorter assignments. But the five of them were the permanent D engineers, with Johnny as her second-in-command. She smiled lightly as she watched Reynolds flutter around the section, thinking of how George used to run around bothering everyone.

 _Two years. Twenty four months. Seven hundred and thirty days. And the hours, how many hours was that? Twenty four times seven, then times four, then times twenty four? How many was that?_

Penelope usually left the math to Scotty anyway.

When Penelope was allowed to leave Engineering, the ceremony had finished, and Scotty had returned with slightly red eyes. Penelope didn't ask, and he didn't say. Scotty didn't need to, not with her.

The Assistant Chief returned to her rooms as soon as possible, throwing off her red shirt and boots and curling back into her blankets. She wondered if there would be days when she wouldn't think about Johnny. She worried that she would forget his face somehow, and so the engineer pulled up a few holos of him and his family on her PADD.

There he was kissing Marie. There he was holding the newborn Laura. There he was with an arm slung around her shoulder. There he was with his son. There they were in D Section. There they were on New Years with George, Ellis, and Williams. There he was the day before he died.

Penelope sucked in a breath, watching as Johnny and George arm wrestled on top of the warp drive. Scotty had found them and ranted to Penelope every chance he got during the day. She had expected it to go on forever, but then the attack happened, and it had been forgotten underneath all the tragedy.

Throwing the PADD across the room, Penelope listened with satisfaction as the crash hit her ears. She wouldn't be able to explain that away, but hopefully, no one would care if she had to order a new one. Besides, the Assistant Chief had heard rumors about the captain being prone to having new PADDs ordered all the time for himself. Maybe she wasn't the only one that appreciated a good smashed device.

Johnny had always been misplacing his PADDs.

Penelope snuggled more deeply into the bed, her arms folded into each other. When would the wound of his loss finally scab over properly? The hurt was still so present in her life, and Penelope continued to wait for it to fade into invisible scars. Everyone carried them, the engineer knew, and she'd be content to carry Johnny with her if only the burden of his memory would lighten.

Laura and Zach would never remember their father, and Penelope would remember him too well. Would they grow up and wonder what he liked to do in his spare time? Or what his favorite food had been? Or if people liked him or what he wanted to be when he was little? Would Penelope be able to tell them, or would she fade away from their lives, an unknown face in an old photo of Johnny that they'd find tucked away in their mother's things?

Penelope would carry on, like she always had. Her mother hadn't been able to, but Penelope wasn't her mother. She wouldn't ever take that way out.

* * *

"Thought I'd find you here," George said, and Penelope turned her head in surprise. The younger engineer made his way over to her and plopped down close enough that their thighs were touching. "I brought the tequila," George told her as though they'd planned to meet up in D Section late at night. They were in the rafters above the area, where Johnny used to hide when Penelope was in a bad mood.

Hide was a subjective turn, since Penelope always spotted him within seconds.

"So, today's been shit," George began, uncapping the full bottle and pulling out two shot glasses from his bag. "The way I figure, most people would tend to agree." He poured her a shot, and then handed over the small amount to Penelope. "What sayest thou, o wise and noble one?" She considered the tequila for a moment before knocking the glass back.

"Ugh," Penelope grimaced. "I say this is disgusting."

George grinned at her without it touching his eyes. "Isn't it?" he sighed happily before drinking his own in one gulp. She watched as he too made a face before smoothing it out with practice. "Fuck, it's been awhile since I came here. Does it look different to you?" Penelope looked down at the place she used to run, and shook her head sadly.

"Same place. Different people," Penelope murmured as George refilled both their glasses. They downed their drinks before the other engineer responded.

"Wish Williams would've come back," George said. "And Ellis retiring was bullshit. Wish we could've stayed in D together, even if Johnny's gone." Penelope felt her chest warm slowly from the alcohol, and her eyes were fixed on the section below as she though about what he said.

Penelope did another shot. "I can't believe it's been two years."

"I can't believe they made your crazy ass Assistant Chief," George joked, pouring a fourth glass for them each. He apparently wasn't slowing down, and neither was she. "Why'd you drop of the face of the Earth afterwards?"

"What?" Penelope asked, focusing in on George's drawn face.

"Afterwards, I tried calling. Tried getting in touch. You never answered."

"I was busy."

George sunk down a bit, his face losing the normal glow of silliness he liked to share. "Do you blame me?" Penelope leant forwards, grabbing the tequila bottle and drinking straight from it. "For making you walk away?"

"From what?" she wondered in confusion. There were voices down below, talking in hushed tones. It was late, and Penelope was definitely feeling the tequila. Her vision blurred slightly.

"From Johnny. Do you hate me for it?"

Penelope put her head against George's arm and sighed. "Why would I hate you? You saved my life."

"You ignored me until we got back on the ship. You ignored me for months after that," George said in a hurt voice. "I thought we were all friends, and then Johnny dies, and all of a sudden, I was on my own again."

"Again?" Penelope questioned, and she blinked rapidly at the engineer. He shrugged.

"Forget about it."

Penelope let it go, knowing when it was best to leave well enough alone. She smiled suddenly at a random thought. "Remember the way you used to follow Johnny around?" Penelope laughed, taking another swig of the tequila. George shook his head in disagreement.

"I didn't do that," George insisted, taking the bottle and pouring another shot for himself. His face was a little red, though from embarrassment or intoxication, Penelope couldn't say.

The Assistant Chief grinned, poking his side. "Yes you did. You were like a little puppy trying to be noticed."

George ran a hand through his hair and shoved the bottle back in his arms. "This is why you don't have friends, Waters. You're so mean," George whined pathetically.

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"You're a child."

"I'm actually almost five, thank you very much."

"Four."

"Four and a half."

"Two."

"Three?"

"Two and three quarters."

George shook her hand. "Agreed." Penelope laughed loudly at the ridiculousness of the other engineer. "I know," George claimed. "I'm the greatest." The Assistant Chief shoved him lightly, pushing herself off of him and drinking a bit more. "You may want to slow your roll."

"Nope," Penelope said, mouth popping loudly on the 'p'.

He shrugged. "It's your funeral."

* * *

Someone needed to kill her.

Penelope groaned at the constant throb of her brain against her skull, wishing she'd taken George's advice. Speaking of, the other engineer was currently curled up in ball on the floor of the Brig.

The Brig.

What?

The Assistant Chief darted wary eyes around the space, wondering at the possible circumstances that had led to that particular instantce. Her memory cut off around the time of George telling her to slow down on the tequila. Penelope wanted to laugh at the strangeness of the situation, waking up with a killer hangover in the Brig of the _Enterprise_.

It was something Johnny would have done.

That actually did cause a small smile to grace the engineer's lips as she looked out the window that covered one of the walls. The only person there was a guard at the computer dock, looking like they were playing some game on the screen.

Getting up, Penelope stumbled over to Johnny, nudging the sleeping man with her bare toes. When and how she had lost her boots, Penelope couldn't say, but a small knot of dread started to work its way into her gut. What the hell had she and George done the previous night?

George moaned in complaint at her attempt to wake him, turning over so that his face kissed the floor, and Penelope sighed, shaking her head. The Assistant Chief approached the window, tapping on the glass in an attempt to draw the attention of the guard.

At the noise, the guard looked up curiously. Penelope did a small wave, recognizing the woman as one of Yalmark's friends. Her name was … Quinn? The security officer simply blinked in response, opening her mouth and saying words into the computer that Penelope couldn't hear. With that, Penelope spun on her heel and plopped down on the ground next to George.

She felt like throwing up.

Penelope promised herself to never drink tequila with George again no matter what. However much fun they'd had the night previous, and Penelope hoped she had fun because otherwise a Brig confinement was not worth it, she decided George was not the best person to become intoxicated with. Johnny at least'd had some control. Some.

A few minutes past before Scotty, McCoy, and Kirk strode into the place.

Penelope tried to suppress a shudder at the thought of Scotty having more control than her over alcohol consumption. She needed help. Probably.

"Well look who's awake!" McCoy shouted loudly, and Penelope simply clutched her aching head and called the CMO a thousand silent names. Not a one of them was very kind. George, meanwhile, had sat up like someone had set him on fire and met the eyes of the senior officers. The other engineer met her gaze and pointed his finger accusingly.

"I told you we shouldn't have fucked up his office, too!" George shouted, and then the both of them sighed in pain at the loud tone. Penelope was beyond confused. They had done something to McCoy's office? Well, served him right, having an office while she didn't.

"What?" Penelope muttered, squinting and pulling herself to a standing position.

"Waters, George. Have fun last night?" Kirk asked, and Penelope thought if he was trying to be stern, he was failing. His smile contradicted his crossed arms, and the engineer internally groaned. If Kirk found whatever they had done amusing, then it was bound to have unfortunate consequences. Her theory was confirmed by the CMO's interjection.

"What the hell were you two thinking, setting booby traps in my workspace? It's a medical bay, not a damn dorm room," McCoy ranted. "Then, you go about … what were they doing, Jim? Overriding some fucking controls in Engineering to play old country music? It's a damn disgrace. You kids have no taste whatsoever."

Penelope blinked in response, but George simply beamed.

"That was her idea, too ... I like you better drunk," George informed Penelope.

"What?" Penelope repeated again, rubbing her eyes and hoping that she was stuck in a horrible dream.

The captain joined in with a twinkle in his blue eyes. "The Briefing Room for the senior staff had been vandalized with the words: _Kirk the Jerk_ and _Spock the_ -"

"I get it," Penelope interrupted. She sighed and asked a question she didn't want the answer to. "George, please tell me that was you." His answering smile told her that the opposite was true, so Penelope chose to simply bury her head in her hands after that.

"You also managed to program the replicators to only serve green cups of coffee, lass," Scotty informed her, and of course that had been her idea, too. "All the other options are gone."

"Green?" Penelope asked quietly.

Scotty shrugged. "Tastes fine, just green is all."

"There were other things of interest," Kirk started again as the CMO snorted. "What I want to know is how the hell you both got into my quarters?"

"What?" Penelope questioned, and she had a feeling that word was nowhere close to being exhausted.

"All my shirts have been decorated," Kirk said, and then turned around so that Penelope could see his back. "This one's my favorite." The yellow command shirt was marred by a glittering phrase: _Fuckboy_.

George started laughing, chuckling in earnest. "That was actually pretty complicated -" the other engineer began, but Penelope cut him off with a glare. Admitting guilt was to be avoided at all costs at that point. "How did we end up in the Brig, though? Last thing I remember is welding the liquor bottles in Scotty's office to the floor so that he wouldn't be able to pick them up."

"What?" she repeated.

Everyone ignored Penelope.

"McCoy found you both passed out in one of the rec rooms," Kirk said. Penelope glanced over at the doctor, and he met her eyes readily with a raised brow. "Apparently, you guys were in the middle of taking apart some of the chess sets to make them go boom. Better not tell Spock," the captain advised wisely.

"What?" Exploding chess pieces? Penelope wanted a nap, and she'd only just awoken.

"So," George said casually dropped in. "Any chance of us getting out of here sometime soon?" Totally not the right time to ask that question. Penelope continued to stare at the CMO, who hadn't yet dropped his gaze. How long could he keep the eyebrow raised for? The engineer was willing to wait him out, but her eyes started to water from lack of blinking.

"Uh, Bones," the captain called, breaking McCoy's attention. Penelope internally grinned at the victory. "What do you think, Mr. Scott? Free to go as long as they promise to stop terrorizing my ship?" Penelope could already hear the man's retort in her head: _it's not your ship, Jim. You don't know how to treat the_ Enterprise _like a lady._

Scotty sniffed, crossing his arms. "How could ya do this, Wrenchy?"

"What?"

"Drinking like that without me!" Scotty complained, and Penelope felt the urge to start banging her head against the window. "Aye, they should be let out, but on the condition that the next time Wrenchy gets drunk, she does it with me."

"It's a deal," the captain agreed, shaking Scotty's hand.

"No seriously," Penelope said, "what?"

George pulled on her wrist as the window slid open. "Look, Waters!Freeeeeddddooommmm!" the younger engineer called as he jerked them both from the holding room. Penelope lurched forward, bumping out of George's grasp and falling into McCoy.

He caught them both, stopping an almost disastrous fall.

"For god's sakes," the CMO exclaimed, "you've all lost your minds!" McCoy tugged them into a stable position and released her. Penelope took a step back, situating herself and only barely controlling the urge to choke George's throat.

Kirk slapped her on the back. "Never knew you had it in you, Waters."

"Who wants 0600 shifts?" Scotty asked cheerily.

"I love 'em," George replied sarcastically. At least, Penelope hoped he was being sarcastic. Who liked anything that early in the morning?

"Someone get me off this tin can," McCoy muttered to no one in particular.

"Wrenchy, are ya alright?"

"Yeah, Waters, you don't look so good," Kirk mentioned.

George threw an arm around her shoulders. "Waters's thinking about how much she wants to play chess with me later!"

"Ya may want to step back, lad," Scotty cautioned. "She looks like she's about to throttle someone."

"Nah, Pen-el-low-pee loves meee," George sang.

"I need a break," Penelope muttered, throwing off George's arm and stomping out of the Brig. She was followed closely by the CMO, Penelope noted with distaste. "What?" she hissed as she continued to storm around in search of the elevator.

"Do you have any idea how irritating it is to wake up and find your office ransacked by a bunch of idiots?" McCoy asked her in the most leading question known to the galaxy.

"No."

"Well, let me tell you," McCoy started as he followed her into the elevator. He called out Sickbay before she could instruct the computer to take them to Engineering, so Penelope crossed her arms and tried to tune out the doctor's complaints.

She was so busy not paying attention to the CMO that he'd somehow dragged her all the way to the medical center before Penelope realized where she was.

"What?" the engineer asked in confusion, cutting off whatever McCoy had been muttering about.

"Here," he offered, dropping a pill into her hands. At her questioning look, the doctor answered, "What? You don't have a hangover? I guess I can take it back then." Penelope clutched the medicine to her chest with a challenging look. It was hers now. He couldn't just have it back. She swallowed the tablet dry and shuffled her feet a bit before muttering a 'thanks'.

With that done with, Penelope turned around and ran out of the Sickbay as quick as she could. She guessed that if she stayed any longer, McCoy would be requesting she get looked over, then he'd tell M'Benga what she'd done, and the doctor would assign her more meetings with Robinson to deal with her 'problems with authority'.

Penelope decided to head back to her quarters to hide away as long as she could. Scotty would probably amble his way to her eventually, but for right then, Penelope wanted to be alone.

As she took a short shower, the headache and nausea thankfully began to dissipate, leaving her feeling exhausted but not uncomfortable. Penelope changed quickly into warm clothes, and then snuggled underneath her neatly made bed. The engineer made a nest from an extra blanket, and she sighed in relief as the craziness of the morning started to seep from her bones.

Bones...

What a stupid nickname. Almost dumber than Wrenchy, but Penelope still felt she had gotten the shorter end of the stick. The engineer buried her face further into the warmth of her pillow. It was nice of him to give her the medicine after she'd apparently booby-trapped his office.

She recalled then that she'd wanted to do something in the name of Johnny's memory.

Perhaps Penelope had went a bit overboard with the pranks?

He would've approved nevertheless, and Penelope smiled softly at the thought. Johnny wasn't really gone, not when she and George still remembered the way he was when he was alive. That lifted something heavy from her heart that she hadn't noticed had been there until it disappeared. As long as they remembered …

Penelope wouldn't forget, but maybe she could make new memories, too. Maybe she already had been.

And that was okay with her.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thanks so much for the views, reviews, and otherwise! Also, just to give a time frame - because I'm not usually very specific in the narration - this chapter starts at just over a year into the five year mission, and then we end about fifteen months in. I combined two chapters because both of them had very little action/content, and because of the longer time between updates. So plan on twenty-four chapters instead of twenty-five. Probably.**

 **Anyways, boring stuff over with, here's the story!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 19 – Baby Blue Eyes**

Penelope left the Transporter Room with what could only be described as a bounce in her step.

In the Assistant Chief's most humble opinion, a week of early Transporter duties would have been an acceptable disciplinary action for her and George's night of reckless idiocy. Two weeks, maybe, if she'd seriously offended anyone, especially considering her continued responsibilities as Scotty's second.

A month had been pushing it.

 _It was over now, Penelope_ , the engineer reminded herself as her fists clenched in absent annoyance. _No need to sulk about it anymore. Besides,_ she continued in an internal monologue, _any other ship, she would've been demoted. Good thing the senior staff has a sense of humor. Well, not Spock, but what could she really expect from a Vulcan? And she had called him …_

So maybe a month was fine.

The engineer entered the busy mess hall, her eyes immediately drawing to said senior officers laughing at an inane joke Kirk had probably told. Carol wasn't with them, which didn't surprise Penelope. According to the weapons specialist, the pair was officially 'over', whatever on Earth that meant. How it was different from a 'break', Penelope couldn't say, but it meant that Kirk and Carol had been avoiding each other at all costs since the previous week.

Kirk's broken heart seemed fair payment for Penelope's broken soul. A month of the mind numbing Transporter Room could do that to a person, as Penelope now knew from personal experience. _Hope he cried bucket-loads,_ Penelope grumbled silently as she stomped towards a replicator. _Hope Carol wrung his heart out to dry and then left it for the crows to pick at._

"Wrenchy!" Scotty called cheerily upon spotting her. The engineer sighed quietly before twisting her head to look back at the Chief Engineer. He waved her over. Penelope nodded in acknowledgment before turning back to the replicator. She punched in the code for coffee, and for a bowl of an unidentified type of soup, sliding her meal card into the machine.

While she waited for the particles to merge into food, Penelope rested her body against the wall and crossed her arms. No more getting up at 0530 just to stare at the boring, grey walls of that godforsaken room. No more watching Scotty beam down to strange worlds, or watching the various security teams transport with Kirk. No more watching McCoy's smug face as he noticed her misery before he left as well.

The replicator slid open, and Penelope collected her things as she pushed off the wall. Gulping the coffee down as she walked, the Assistant Chief slid onto the bench beside Scotty and braced herself for whatever the main Bridge crew decided to discuss.

"Do you just breathe that stuff?" Scotty asked, wrinkling his nose at Penelope's fifth cup of coffee for the day. She shrugged, thinking coffee was a much better thing to be addicted to than alcohol. Placing the mug down harshly on the table, Penelope grabbed her spoon and started to poke the soup with it. Penelope was pretty it hissed at her.

Keenser, seated across from them and beside Sulu, blinked in what was surely disgust at the green, gooey liquid.

"Is it alive?" the helmsman asked, pointing his gaze at Penelope's lunch. The soup bubbled in response, and the engineer grimaced, withdrawing her hand and leaving the spoon. Her stomach growled in protest, but Penelope would gladly starve rather than eat _whatever_ was in the bowl. Shoving the contents over to Scotty, Penelope looked down at the table and huffed. How could the Enterprise be the most advanced vessel in Starfleet, and still manage to have the most disgusting menu available?

"So you're just not going to eat?" Scotty wondered, glancing distastefully down at the surely sentient soup. Penelope shook her head, cradling her coffee in her hands. The drink was, at the very least, consistent, and Penelope would never have to worry about the coffee's ability to plot revenge against her.

"Such a child." Scotty muttered, getting up from his seat and striding over to the replicators. Penelope turned her attention to Keenser, who sat there with nothing to eat. Even after all the time they spent, she'd only ever seen the alien engineer have food a handful of times.

Scotty came back, plopping a sandwich in front of her with exasperation. "There," the Chief declared, turning back to his own lunch. He then added, "No mustard." Penelope wrinkled her forehead, looking at the plate in front of her before inspecting the new food closely. It seemed to be safe, so the engineer picked it up and ate with ferocity.

"Thank you," Penelope said between bites. Maybe she wouldn't have to hate him for the rest of the mission for assigning her to the Transporter Room. It would be nice not to hate Scotty, as it always ended up being more exhausting than any other alternative.

The rest of the table was in the middle of a heated argument between Kirk and Uhura. Penelope bit into the sandwich, watching the discussion through heavy-lidded eyes.

"Do you ever think about anything but getting laid?" Uhura asked, her yogurt and fruit abandoned beside her. Spock also looked rather forgotten, sitting ram-rod straight but with a lost expression in his eyes as they bounced between the pair.

Kirk, perched next to McCoy, considered her insult with a leering smile. "Sometimes. On Tuesdays, somewhere between the hours of five and six in the morning." His mouth was full of food, probably done on purpose to further infuriate the communications officer.

"How oddly specific. And what do you do then? Sleep?"

"Nope," Kirk grinned, washing down his lunch with a drink of juice. "I think about you."

Penelope was pretty sure she saw Uhura's left eye start twitching.

"Perhaps it is time for the meal to conclude," Spock suggested, but was then immediately ignored by both parties. They chose instead to continue the heated disagreement that seemed to have no beginning or end. Penelope threw a questioning look to her Chief.

"I don't know, lass," Scotty stated. "Just started it one day. Now they seem to pick up wherever they left off the day before." Penelope's eyes drifted over to where the CMO sat beside Kirk, looking bored out of his mind. His brown gaze fixed absently somewhere in the distance, and Penelope could see a faint crease between his eyebrows as he concentrated on something in his mind. She felt the urge to smooth it out.

Scotty clapped a hand on her shoulder, drawing her attention back to the other engineer. "Today was the last day, wasn't it?" Oh, right. Penelope was still supposed to be upset at her Chief. She glared at him in answer, taking one last furious bite of her food. "Good. I'll be glad ta see ya less grumpy, storming into the deck in the afternoon."

Penelope didn't storm. She walked with purpose.

"Speaking of," Scotty said, checking his wristwatch for the time. "Best be off." Scotty waved his goodbyes to the rest of his group, while Penelope and Keenser trailed behind him. On the way out, Scotty and Penelope dropped off their dishes, and once in Engineering, parted ways.

While _walking with purpose_ towards C Section, Penelope's PADD dinged with an incoming message. It was from Tommy, so the engineer paused, ducking into an empty side-hall and bringing up the communication to her eyes.

 _My dad got arrested. I don't know what to do. Please help._

 _\- Tommy_

Good mood immediately dissipated, Penelope felt in its wake the urge to smash his father's brains against the wall. He was so lucky she wasn't on planet, because she didn't care too much about control at that very moment. Or laws, or penal colonies, or anything other than that Tommy had to deal with his sorry self.

Why wasn't she able to be there for Tommy? Penelope slid down against the wall, dropping the PADD to the ground softly beside her and covering her face with her hands.

She needed to breathe, to let the anger evaporate. Tommy was fine. Tommy wasn't in jail, just his father. Tommy was okay. Tommy …

* * *

 _"Tommy," Penelope started as she sat with the boy in the park. His hot chocolate was clutched firmly in both hands as he turned his face up to her. It was early December, though the weather was moderate, and the twelve year old seemed so young to her. She wasn't going to be home for Christmas. God, how was she supposed to tell him she wasn't going to be home for Christmas?_

 _Olivia had been his age …_

 _Best not to think about her, Penelope considered as she stared down at Tommy. "Tommy," Penelope began again. "The_ Enterprise _got another mission." The boy kicked his legs out, dropping her gaze and staring down at the drink in his hand. "I'm leaving next week."_

 _With Penelope and Johnny pushed into early graduation, and most of the third years slated for graduation in the spring, the Enterprise was under the temporary command of Commander Spock, as Captain Pike still recovered in the hospital. Their most recent mission proposed that the starship sail out to deliver a vaccine to another planet in the Alpha Quadrant, and though Penelope understood the importance of their duty, she still hated the abruptness of the call._

 _It had only been two weeks, dammit. Couldn't Starfleet leave them all be?_

 _"What about Christmas?" Tommy asked in a small voice, eyes still trained away from her. Penelope threw an arm out behind him, ignoring his flinch at the movement._

 _"I'm not going to be here," Penelope said honestly, disgusted at her own words. Her aunt was dead, her cousin was dead. Penelope didn't want to face her uncle, and she could care less where her father resided. But Tommy … he was right there. She owed it to him to be there, too. How many times had she let down her family before that? Why couldn't she ever just get a clue and do things right?_

 _Blinking away her own tears, Penelope wrapped her arm around Tommy's shoulders, holding him close without protest. "I'll come back," she promised, empty words. Anything could happen in space. She'd seen an entire planet fold in on itself, seen starships turn to debris and bodies float hopelessly in the empty vacuum._

 _"Everyone always says that," Tommy shook, turning his face to bury in her chest. "But when? When are you coming back?" Penelope ran a hand through his short, blonde strands of hair. Hadn't Olivia asked her that same question, all those years ago. Only sixteen Penelope had been then._ When are you coming back, Penelope?

 _She'd told her she hadn't known, but that one day she would. She promised, swore to her cousin that she'd be back to see her someday. In the end, Penelope had turned down so many opportunities to make good on her word. Too late now. Tommy would never even get to meet her. They would've gotten along, and it would've done Tommy a world of good to have another friendly face._

 _Her aunt would've loved him._

 _"I'll be back after New Years," Penelope whispered, holding Tommy close. "Next year, we'll do it right. Have a proper tree and dinner, maybe even a party with Johnny for the New Year. That sound good?" the engineer asked, pulling away to look at Tommy's reaction. He frowned._

 _"But what about this year?" he sniffed._

 _"This year's no good," Penelope shook her head. "Do you want to go to Johnny and Marie's on Christmas? They've got a new baby. And even though me and Johnny'll be away, there's still going to be lots of people there." Tommy shrugged noncommittally, moving out of her arms and sulking into his hot chocolate. "Don't worry about your father. He'll be fine on his own."_

 _Penelope tried her best to keep the disdain from her voice, but didn't seem to do a very good job._

 _"I want you to stay," Tommy said, tugging at her wrist._

 _"I can't," Penelope sighed. Where the Federation pointed, so did Penelope go. Like a trained dog._

 _"It's not fair," Tommy argued, looking so lost that it broke Penelope's heart a little._

 _"I know," she said. "I know."  
_

* * *

Lies on top of lies on top of lies. She wasn't there for him now. Fifteen years old he was, and what an idiot Penelope had been at his age. But Tommy wasn't like her. He was different, smarter, better. He was going places, Penelope knew.

Tommy was meant to reach higher.

So Penelope picked herself up off the floor, transferred a large sum of credits to cover whatever bail his father had incurred, sent what she hoped was a comforting message, and went back to doing her job.

Some people were meant for better things, and some people were meant to make sure they had the opportunity to do so.

* * *

"Robinson's transferred," M'Benga told her a few days later as she sat on the biobed. The physical had just finished, and Penelope watched as the doctor entered her data into the computer bank. While some voices carried over into the smaller clinic room, Penelope turned a curious eyes to M'Benga.

"Why?" Penelope asked.

"Family emergency," M'Benga replied, eyes trained on the computer. "Won't be back, though the replacement counselor should be in next week. Now, your psychological scan is in a range that I'm happy with. If you want, we can discontinue the meetings until next quarter, but on the condition that if next quarter's readings look bad, you go back immediately."

M'Benga had her at 'discontinue'. "Yes."

"I'm serious, Waters," the doctor warned, a no-nonsense expression that must have been learned from McCoy. "I hear a word of you attacking inanimate objects again, you'll be upgraded to monthly meetings." Penelope made a disgusted expression at the doctor behind his back, but returned it to a blank once he turned around to face her.

"Of course," Penelope replied, moving off the biobed and back onto her feet.

M'Benga shook his head, pointing towards the door. "Fine, you can go. And send in whoever's next." Penelope walked out, the door sliding open at her presence, and the engineer gestured for the ensign in the seat closest to the place to go in. As she left, Penelope saw the CMO arguing with a nurse, a vein throbbing in his forehead.

Typical. Why was she the one everyone thought had anger problems?

* * *

"Come on, Penelope. It'll be fun," Carol pleaded, looking at her with wide, blue eyes.

Penelope slumped further in her chair and refused to look anywhere in the direction of the weapons specialist. She had changed out the posters, Penelope noted with fascination. She squinted, trying to read the small print in the corner of one.

"Please. It's not even on some crazy, unknown planet," Carol insisted. "This is a normal, standard, run of the mill -"

"It's an away mission. Those are never normal, not on this ship," Penelope grumbled, crossing her arms and averting her gaze. Carol could have fun if she wanted to, maybe get herself killed in the process, but Penelope was officially done with landing parties. After her last experience on Holberg 917-G, the engineer would rather keep her feet firmly planted on the starship unless absolutely necessary.

Carol wanted her company. That was not what Penelope would consider absolutely necessary.

"This one will be," the science officer promised. "And we need an engineer for the shuttle. You're the best one for the job."

"Ask George," Penelope proposed. Better him than her ...

"Don't you ever want to get off this ship?" Carol wondered, managing to catch her eye with a stern look. "We're exploring uncharted regions of the galaxy. Don't you want to see it for yourself?" Penelope didn't want anything more than to make the best of her situation, and she could see the 'uncharted galaxy' from a viewing screen. Safer there, too.

"No."

Carol huffed in disagreement. "Fine," she said, standing up. Penelope followed suit. "Be boring. But don't blame me when the five year mission's over and done with, and you haven't even done anything exciting." Penelope had far too much excitement already without adding away missions to the list.

"Noted." Rolling her eyes, Carol motioned for Penelope to walk with her as she headed to the Transporter Room. Suppressing a shudder at returning there, Penelope walked in time with the weapons specialist as they strode from the Science Department. Upon rounding a corner to go to the elevator, Penelope watched with amusement as Carol and Kirk barreled into one another.

"Ah, shit. Sorry, Car – er, Doctor," Kirk spluttered, helping Carol off the floor. They separated almost immediately, and Penelope had to stifle a laugh. "Waters," Kirk nodded in acknowledgment before awkwardly leaving. They watched him walk, then Penelope met Carol's eye with unrestrained glee.

"Don't even," Carol warned, grabbing Penelope's wrist and tugging her into the lift.

"What?" Penelope asked innocently.

"You know. It's not funny, either," Carol sighed. "You're always so mean to him."

"I'm not the one that broke up with him," Penelope teased, eyes twinkling.

"You get far too much enjoyment from that," Carol argued, crossing her arms as the elevator took them to the Transporter. Their boots clacked on the floor as they exited the elevator and walked towards the correct room number. "And Jim actually likes you, too. He told me about the time he tried to hug you."

Penelope shivered at the thought. "Don't remind me."

They approached the Transporter Room, and the pair stopped in the doorway. Carol smiled at the engineer. "Sure you don't want to come along?"

"I'm sure," Penelope said. "Be careful."

"I try," Carol joked lightly, and then she moved forward to give Penelope a quick hug. The Assistant Chief stiffened at the movement, not fully relaxing until Carol pulled back. At her half irritated, half curious expression, Carol smirked. "Just wanted to make sure you liked me more than Jim."

"The day I hug the captain is the day someone better put me out of my misery," Penelope muttered to Carol's amusement.

"Not funny," Carol lied. "See you later."

Penelope watched from the door as Carol entered the Transporter Room, immediately approaching the other officers with poise. The engineer lingered for a moment before turning away and heading down to Scotty's favorite rec room. A newly transferred Ensign stopped her on her way there, asking for directions to her quarters.

After that unexpected obstacle, Penelope managed to arrive only slightly late to Scotty's newly instated 'Bonding Tuesday'. She'd attempted to ask him earlier on why he chose poker for the first event, but Scotty had only mumbled something about a drunken bet with Sulu. She had left it at that, not truly wishing to hear the details.

"Join our table, Wrenchy!" Talorak grinned, gesturing to an empty seat. A representation of all the engineering sections were present at every table, and thankfully, Penelope seemed to have skipped the tense beginnings of such a meeting. Everyone seemed relaxed, and as Penelope settled in to enjoy taking a few credits from her fellow officers, she began to appreciate Scotty's idea.

As some of the engineers left to relieve others of duty shifts, Penelope found Scotty sitting at a table in the far right corner of the Rec Room. Keenser slept soundly on the faded red couch behind him, and Scotty's table, for some reason, included the ever grumpy CMO.

"Here to sacrifice your credits to me, Waters?" McCoy grinned, looking far too victorious for Penelope's comfort. Scotty humphed in response to the doctor's question, and the Assistant Chief mentally vowed to decimate McCoy.

"No," Penelope told him, sliding into the chair opposite the CMO.

"Don't you have doctor-y things ta do?" Scotty grumbled, shuffling the worn looking deck to his right. Penelope had never seen McCoy's face so smug.

"It's okay to lose sometimes, Scotty," the doctor claimed in a superior tone, throwing an arm over the empty chair beside him.

"Remember that when I sick Wrenchy on you."

* * *

Two hours later, and Penelope admitted defeat. She never knew anyone that bluffed quite as well as McCoy, and she promised never to bet against the man again. It wasn't worth the loss of all the credits she'd taken from the other engineers. Or the triumphant smile on the doctor's face as she finally called it quits.

"Well, well, Scotty. What were you sayin' before about Wrenchy kicking my ass?" McCoy drawled, leaning back in his chair. Penelope personally thought he'd had one too many glasses of bourbon at that point. _And what had Scotty told him before she came to the table?_ For goodness sake, if he had talked her up like some galaxy-class poker player, she would hide Scotty's whiskey with Keenser again.

Scotty scowled. "Ya got lucky, laddie." McCoy snorted in disbelief before taking another sip out of the glass beside him.

"Keep telling yourself that."

Penelope's eyes drooped as she watched the two officers argue. Yawning, the engineer checked her PADD for the time, and her eyes widened in surprise. Was it really that late? Penelope glanced around the room, finally noticing that most of the others had left. Abandoned chairs and cards were scattered around the room, and Penelope spotted Rome cozied up with Keenser on the couch.

"I'm headed out," Penelope interjected, making the two men pause to look over.

"G'night, lass," Scotty said, toasting his glass in her direction.

"Night, Waters," McCoy told her, repeating Scotty's action. Penelope got up, gathering her things before walking out of the rec room. She only passed two other people on the way back to her quarters, and by the time she arrived, Penelope was ready to slide into bed. She forewent changing out of her uniform, too tired to even muster the effort. Kicking off her boots and socks, Penelope absently heard the items thunk onto the floor. She curled her hands around her pillow and sighed.

Next time, she was playing on McCoy's team.

* * *

"Just a standard away mission, lass. Nothing ta worry about."

 _What was with everyone and trying to convince her that away missions were anything but disastrous?_

Besides, that's exactly what Scotty had said last time, too. And what had happened then? A whole planet declared war: not on the Federation, not on the _Enterprise_ , but on one James T. Kirk. And who had been dragged into that mess? Scotty. And why hadn't Penelope killed Kirk yet?

Well, she didn't quite have an answer for that.

The point was that there was no such thing as a standard away mission when Scotty went anywhere with their captain.

Penelope made the Chief aware of her sentiments through a single glare, to which he only patted her arm. "Don't look like that. It's going ta be fine."

"If you come back with even a scratch on you …" Penelope warned in a threatening tone.

Scotty shook his head. "I know. I know. You'll have Jim's head on a spike."

"And yours," Penelope added, following behind the Chief Engineer as he left A Section to enter the elevator. Scotty looked down at her in amusement.

"Kind of defeats the purpose?" he suggested. Penelope chose not to answer, letting him go into the lift. She held the doors open with a protruding boot and stared seriously at Scotty. He answered with an owlish blink of his blue-grey eyes.

"I mean it," Penelope said. "Be careful."

"Always am, Wrenchy. Besides, this is diplomatic stuff. Nothin' serious," Scotty argued, gesturing to his dress uniform. Penelope had only barely stifled the urge to tease him about the kilt, knowing the lecture on Scottish history wasn't worth the indignant spluttering of the older engineer. She sighed. "If someone tries to assassinate the captain, just don't step in front of him, okay?"

"Aye," Scotty saluted casually with a smile. "I'll be off now." Penelope waved as she removed her foot from the doorway. As the automatic door slid shut, the Assistant Chief sauntered back into Engineering, trying not to imagine all the ill-planned schemes the captain would think up while at a party full of politicians.

At least McCoy was going with them. Maybe he could knock some sense into Kirk, or maybe knock him unconscious before he did anything too stupid. As Spock had decided to stay behind, Penelope didn't hope too much. If anyone could stop the captain in his tracks, it was the first officer, and him not being there threw a lot of doubt on the mission in Penelope's eyes.

"Gus," Penelope called into her communicator as she flipped it open. The answer came less than half a minute later.

"Gus here."

The Assistant Chief re-entered A Section with a grimace. "Keep phaser teams standing by."

"Ma'am?" the E Section Head asked in confusion. "Aren't we on a diplomatic mission?"

"The captain's going," Penelope explained as she caught Keenser's eye from across the room. The alien blinked at her a few times from his spot atop the dilithium chambers. Well, what Scotty didn't know wouldn't hurt him, Penelope supposed as she ignored Keener's climbing obsession.

"Ah," Gus replied. "And Scotty's with him?"

"Yes."

"Right, well. I'll keep my people ready. Gus out," the E Section head stated, his voice tinged with understanding. Penelope flipped the communicator shut and tucked it into her belt. She approached Rome from behind, tapping on his shoulder as he spoke heatedly with Fly. The A Section Head jumped in the air before twisting around to her.

"Fucking hell, Wrenchy. Don't do that," Rome mumbled, though they both knew full well Penelope had done it on purpose, and she would likely repeat the action again later. The Assistant Chief shrugged without apology, catching sight of Fly's amused expression. With a glower, the Ensign scampered away, much to Rome's apparent annoyance. "What?"

"Be on alert," Penelope told the officer seriously. Rome glanced around curiously.

"Why?"

"Scotty and the captain are together down there -"

Rome interrupted her. "Would you stop worrying about him? He's a grown man. He knows not to get into trouble." Rome paused for a moment, digesting his own words before making an amendment. "Okay, so maybe that last bit wasn't quite true, but really, Wrenchy, you're such a worrier."

Penelope scoffed. "I am not." Rome gave her a look that implied she was deep in denial. "I'm not worried. I'm being cautious," the Assistant Chief defended. "There's a difference."

"Right," Rome said, not sounding convinced. Penelope felt the urge to punch Rome in the gut, but ignored it in favor of watching as Carol entered Engineering. What was she doing in A Section? And her uniform looked a little creased, which was a sure sign that something was wrong. Penelope left Rome without a word and approached the weapons specialist.

"Carol?" Penelope asked. She looked up into Penelope's eyes and grabbed the engineer's hand in a hurry.

"Can we speak privately?" Carol questioned, her voice interrupted with nervous breaks. Penelope led them into Scotty's office while the science officer continued to grasp her hand. Carol's palm felt slightly moist against her own, and Penelope dropped it once the door slid shut behind them.

 _Could Scotty ever clean up after himself?_

The Assistant Chief cleared off two chairs, placing tablets and reference materials onto the ever-messy floor of the office. Taking a seat, Penelope watched as Carol began to pace the small confines of the room. Penelope became impressed with the weapons specialist's ability not to trip over any of the random objects scattered around.

"Are you alri-" Penelope's question was interrupted by Carol finally stopping and staring at her feet.

"I'm pregnant."

The silence following her statement enveloped Scotty's office with a stifling presence. Carol continued to glare down at her boots, and Penelope shook her head. She definitely needed to get her hearing checked, because Penelope could've sworn she had just heard Carol say … something unpleasant.

Carol finally glanced up into the engineer's face. "Penelope, say something."

"Sorry, I didn't quite catch the first thing you said," Penelope admitted. Carol scowled.

"This isn't a joke. You heard me. I said that I'm pregnant," Carol muttered, her expression turning miserable.

"Like, as in, you know … like, having a … like a baby - thing?" Penelope stuttered.

Carol sighed. "That is what pregnant means."

Carol was pregnant. Like having a baby pregnant. And – oh god, no. Please don't be true.

"Tell me it's not Kirk's," Penelope ordered. Carol said nothing. The Assistant Chief hopped up from her chair, pointing a finger accusingly. "You guys have been broken up for months now! For … three months … oh, gross." Penelope thought she might puke.

Carol beat her to it, grabbing the waste basket beside Scotty's desk and making a hurling sound. Penelope suddenly felt very thankful she'd only drank coffee for breakfast. It seemed the wrong time to bring up the benefits of such a meal choice to Carol considering the circumstances. Maybe later, when Penelope woke up from her nightmare.

"I hate that," Carol said when she'd finished, spat, and wiped her mouth with her arm.

"How can you be pregnant?" Penelope asked as she flopped back down into her chair. Carol also finally decided to take a seat, but managed it with much more grace. The science officer raised her eyebrows at the engineer. "I mean, I know _how_ how, but didn't you guys use … birth control, or literally _anything_ at all?"

"The IUD most Starfleet officers get doesn't work for me, and wouldn't you know it, Jim's allergic to the shot," Carol sniffed. "But usually I take these pills. They work the same, but long story short, I messed up the timing, and the last time with Jim wasn't really _planned_ , if you know what I mean..."

"Yes," Penelope interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. "Have you, uh, told him?"

Carol sighed, shaking her head. "What am I supposed to say? We're not even together anymore, and no offense to him, but Jim's not exactly father material." Wrinkled blue dress, tired eyes, and a miserable expression didn't exactly scream _mother_ material either, so Penelope thought the accusation was a bit harsh. No matter if Kirk embodied every nuance of the word _reckless idiot_.

"You need to tell him, Carol," Penelope prompted, crossing her arms.

"I've only told you," the science officer admitted, shocking Penelope.

"What? When did you, er, figure out you were, you know," Penelope made an awkward gesture that was supposed to somehow mean pregnant. It failed spectacularly, so the engineer just stopped trying and slumped in her seat.

"About a week ago. I wasn't really paying attention. Thought I had a stomach bug or something, but then the idea popped in my head, so I did a blood test on myself, and well, you know the rest," Carol explained, leaning forward to rest an arm on Scotty's desk.

"What are you going to do?" Penelope asked, nodding her head at Carol's stomach. _Kirk spawn_. Penelope shivered at the thought. Kirk was bad enough without a mini-version running around the galaxy.

"I don't know. If I keep it, I'm not staying here, obviously. I'd go back to Earth, work at a research lab for Starfleet or something. If I don't, well," Carol considered, "I think I'd leave anyway. This kind of world, it's just not for me." Penelope wrinkled her forehead in confusion.

Carol sighed, seeming to collect her thoughts. "I just … I thought I wanted to do this. Be on a starship, go exploring, but I don't feel comfortable out here. I like my job, but there's always some mission getting in the way, or some crisis to be averted. Roaming around the universe, that's Jim's thing. Not mine. And after everything with my father, I just ..."

Penelope looked on in surprise as Carol continued. "I wouldn't want my child to be a part of it."

"You still need to tell him," Penelope reminded the other officer.

Carol snorted. "He's not going to take it well."

"You don't know that," the engineer countered.

"What should I do?" Carol asked suddenly, the question clearly burning on her mind. Penelope wished she had an answer for the weapons specialist, wished for some sort of experience in the matter. But no one could make a decision about what to do except Carol, and to some extent, Kirk. _That meant Carol would actually have to talk to the captain first._

"I don't know," Penelope admitted. "But don't wait too much longer. Better to get these things out in the open before Kirk gets himself kidnapped or something." Carol smiled weakly.

"That does happen way too often around here," she agreed. Straightening in her seat, Carol added, "Oh, bloody hell. This is a mess." They both laughed a little, a small easing of the tension in the room. "Can you imagine what I'd be like as a mum?"

Her question came with an air of incredulity. Penelope shrugged. "You, sure. But Kirk as a dad, absolutely not."

"I know. He's still acts like a five year old sometimes, I swear. The kid would mature faster than he would," Carol joked, finally lightening up a bit. Penelope's PADD beeped with an incoming call, and she looked to Carol. The other officer waved her off absently, so the engineer flipped open the device.

"Waters here," Penelope said.

"Spock. Is Dr. Marcus currently in Engineering?" the first officer asked. Penelope glanced at Carol, pointing at the PADD with a questioning face. Carol gave her a nod, so Penelope answered.

"Yes, sir."

"May you please inform her that she is needed on the Bridge, and," Spock continued, "that she would do well to not leave her communicator in the science officer's office. Spock out." Penelope closed the PADD, catching Carol's eyes with a small smirk.

"Passive aggressive," Penelope muttered, watching as Carol rose from her spot, smoothing out her blue uniform over her legs.

"You should see him when someone leaves out a microscope in the lab," the weapons specialist mumbled as Penelope followed her out of Scotty's office. "Thanks for listening." Carol stopped, looking at Penelope in apology.

"No problem," Penelope answered, nodding at her once more before Carol turned to leave on the elevator. What a mess, indeed.

Penelope shivered once again. _Kirk spawn_. Gross. Though if it were half-Carol, it might not be so bad. That was if she decided to have the baby in the first place. Kid would have some seriously blue eyes, considering its parents. Penelope actually smiled a bit at the thought of it. A blue-eyed demon child to drive Kirk up a wall. It would serve him right, being so irritating all the time. And for taking Scotty on away missions.

Later, when Scotty returned with a black eye, and Kirk with a broken nose, McCoy may or may not have had to ban her from Sickbay to keep from history repeating itself. The punching bag she'd expressed her anger to also may or may not have had a picture of Kirk's face projected mentally onto it.

Standard away mission ... what a joke.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thanks for all the views and reviews! And Happy Valentines!**

 **U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 20 – We'll Meet Again**

"I don't get it," George whispered in her ear. "Why doesn't she just call the cops or something?"

Penelope clenched her teeth, wishing for the fourth time that evening she hadn't agreed to pick the movie. The Assistant Chief understood it was important to have these Tuesday bonding events, but George really knew how to get under her skin. They were seated near the back of the rec room, stretched out against the wall, and other engineers lay spread out all over.

"Hey, Waters," George tried again. "How come … what's her face, Zula? Yeah, how come Zula doesn't like these people in the first place? They seem okay."

Glaring, Penelope hissed back. "It's Zora. They just blew up a building. And they killed her sister."

"Did they? What sister?" A few people took the time to glare back at the pair, shushing them audibly. George didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed, only waving at them cheerfully. Penelope shot them all a heated stare back, causing their eyes to turn away.

"Maybe if you paid attention," Penelope mumbled, poking his side and causing him to jump slightly.

"I am," he whined. "It's not my fault that you have bad taste in holo-movies."

"Yomai wanted us to watch a documentary on the Eugenics Wars. I think we lucked out," Penelope said quietly, a bit peeved at George's dismissal of the movie. It was a classic, in case he was wondering. George simply groaned in response, sliding down the wall dramatically so that he sprawled out completely on the floor.

"How much longer?" The whine in his voice made Penelope want to kick him in the shins, but she restrained herself with a few calming breaths.

"Keep it up," Penelope warned. "I can send you back to work whenever I want."

George leaned up on his elbows, bright eyes staring up at her in the darkness. "That's abuse. I'll report you to Scotty."

"I'll tell Scotty you hated the story."

"Okay?" George said.

"This is one of his favorites," Penelope explained. "I tell him you think it's boring, and he wouldn't care if I'd thrown you in the Brig for looking at me wrong." Eyes widened slightly, George simply stuck out his tongue before crossing his arms and staring defiantly at the projected screen. Penelope overheard a few grumbled _not fair_ 's and _rather watch paint dry_ 's.

Contented with the situation, Penelope leaned her head back against the wall once more and tuned back into the plot.

* * *

"Thank god," George exclaimed loudly as the credits rolled. It wasn't only Penelope that stared in irritation at the call. The lights flickered back on, and all around were the sounds of groaning and the sight of people stretching. Dashing up, George rocked on the balls of his feet, clearly happy to be free.

He extended a hand to Penelope, which she grasped gladly. Pulling on his weight, Penelope settled into a standing position and rolled her sore neck lightly. "Thanks," she said. He gave her a goofy smile before being called over by another group of engineers. She waved him off, searching her PADD for the next schedule shift to see who would be coming in for the next showing.

Penelope absently flicked through the names, her gaze shifting from the screen to the quickly emptying room. She took a seat on one of the couches in the corner, resting on the cushion and rubbing her temple. As the sound of running feet echoed around, the engineer spared a glance upward and saw Carol quickly walking over to her.

"I told him," she said in a rush before Penelope could ask what was wrong. _Wait, told him?_ It had been nearly a month, and Penelope had simply assumed Carol had already told Kirk about the pregnancy. Granted, she hadn't asked about it, not wanting to put too much pressure on the science officer.

"How'd it go?" Penelope asked neutrally, pretending to be more focused on the PADD than on the conversation. Carol sat beside her nervously.

"I don't know," she answered, hands intertwining in her lap. Penelope noticed that Carol had recently chosen to wear a loose-fitted blue shirt and black pants, as opposed to the normal dress uniform. It expertly hid any growing bump there.

At Penelope's raised eyebrows, Carol shrugged. "Well, I found out when he'd be off-duty, so I went to his quarters and he let me in, and he asked how I was, and I couldn't even answer properly, Penelope, I was so nervous. And then I just blurted it out, and then he just kind of stared at me. Actually, he stared for a really long time, and didn't say anything."

Kirk was an idiot. Penelope hoped she wouldn't have to go and do something about it.

"I called his name a few times, and when he didn't answer, I thought maybe he had a stroke or something. I mean, he was so pale. Then suddenly, he jumped out of his seat and started pacing all crazy. Then he would stop and stare at me again, and then go back to pacing."

Penelope did her best to hide an amused smile, but clearly failed judging by Carol's expression.

"It's not funny," Carol argued. "He looked insane! And then, you know the first thing he said to me was? He asked me if it was his." The ensuing blank stare from Carol let Penelope know how she felt about Kirk's ill-thought out question. "Who the hell does he think I am? Him? And then I told him it was, and then he started doing the pacing and staring again."

When Carol stayed silent after that, Penelope made a confused expression. "And then what?" the engineer prompted.

"Well, I left," Carol responded, throwing out her hand. "If all he wants to do is pace in his quarters, he can do that alone. It's irritating to watch, anyways."

Penelope furrowed her eyebrows. "You just left? Did you see if he follo-" Penelope's words died out as the captain burst into the room. The few lingering engineers glanced over at Kirk as he strode over. When he stopped in front of the seated officers, Kirk paused for a moment, and suddenly, Penelope could see what Carol found so annoying in the staring.

Clearing her throat, Penelope moved to leave and herd the others out, but Carol grabbed the fabric of her red shirt and tugged her back down with surprising strength. "Don't leave me," the weapons specialist half-whispered, half-hissed into her ear.

Kirk opened his mouth to speak and then promptly closed it again, earning him the glare of both Penelope and Carol. He rubbed a hand on the back of his neck meekly. "So you're …" He trailed off, apparently as skilled with the topic as Penelope was. Carol crossed her arms and looked up at him without speaking. "And it's …"

"Carol is having a baby," Penelope interrupted slowly, as if speaking to a child. "You are its father. Now it is time for you both to go talk in private, like adults, away from here." The engineer stood up, taking Carol with her. Kirk and Carol continued to stare at each other without moving, so Penelope huffed in anger. "Is anyone listening?"

"What do you want?" Kirk asked, the question clearly not directed at the engineer.

Carol shook her head. "I don't know, honestly," she admitted. "A transfer signature, at the least." Kirk looked bewildered for a moment, but then his face smoothed out into neutrality. Penelope grasped both of their arms and started tugging them towards the door of the rec room, not that either of them seemed to notice.

"Is that what you really want?" Kirk questioned. "Will you go back to Earth?" _Halfway, there. Just a few more steps._

"I want to go home," Carol admitted in a small voice, her hand moving to rest absently on her midsection, and Penelope finally got the pair over the threshold. They continued to ignore her presence, even as she started towards the elevator.

"This is home," Kirk stated, his free arm gesturing to the ship. "We're a family. Right here."

"Not the family I need," Carol intoned harshly. "And not the family a baby needs, either." Penelope shoved them both into the lift, though Carol she just kind of gently pushed. In an instant, two pairs of blue eyes glanced up at her. The doors shut as Penelope waved goodbye with a straight face, foot tapping in impatience.

With a sigh, Penelope turned and made her way back to the rec room, where groups of new engineers made their way to watch the movie. As the engineer settled back at her spot against the wall, she closed her eyes and tried not to think about Carol and what she had said about the ship.

 _Not the family I need._

Ouch. Penelope rubbed her heart a bit, trying to ease away the sting.

* * *

"I'm leaving the _Enterprise_."

Penelope lay on the floor of Carol's office, arms crossed underneath her head and staring at the ceiling. With her day off, the engineer had spent every last moment hiding from Scotty. An argument the previous day over something small had grown into near war, and Penelope wanted nothing more than to stay away from Engineering, in the hopes that Scotty might cool down in her absence.

"When?" Penelope asked, eyes flickering shut. She could hear the squeak of Carol's chair as it spun a few degrees.

"Tomorrow," the science officer answered, and Penelope's eyes snapped open in shock. Indignation drowned out the recesses of laziness, and the engineer hopped onto her feet in an instant.

"Tomorrow?" Penelope said in disbelief, staring down Carol with an intense expression. She simply stared back, her shoulders tensed as if ready for a fight. Penelope's fists clenched in anger at the slight. "How long have you known?"

"A while," Carol admitted, "I didn't know how to tell you." Penelope's heart raced at the idiotic response, her frustration multiplying. Didn't know how to tell her? Penelope wasn't Kirk. She was an adult and could actually handle change. And more importantly, she and Carol were friends. Right? At least, Penelope had thought they were. But Carol didn't like the _Enterprise_ , and maybe didn't like the people on it very much.

"Why?"

Carol shook her head. "I don't know." Things were silent for a time, with Penelope trying to stay calm and Carol hunched over at the desk. Finally, the science officer spoke again. "There's going to be a shore leave on Earth, around the time the baby's coming. We planned it all out, so everyone can go home for a week or two, and Jim can be around for the birth."

"You could come visit, too, if you wanted," Carol offered. At Penelope's continued silence, Carol prompted her. "Penelope?"

"Will it make you happy?" Penelope asked.

"Yes," Carol said, so Penelope nodded and laid back down on the floor. Her green eyes turned back up to the ceiling, eyes searching for spots or cracks on the blank white space. When she found none, the engineer stared out the window of the office, into the vastness. It was so large, so cripplingly large and empty that it almost hurt to look, and Penelope's lips curved into a small smile as she thought of Kirk and Carol. Making something so small and setting it out into that kind of unknown.

"What's that story about the kid who beats the giant?" Penelope said suddenly, gaze still fixed out the glass.

"What?" Carol asked, and out of the corner of her eye, the engineer could see the other officer turn to her. Just as she was about to repeat the question, the door slid open with a quiet sound. Both women turned to stare at the first officer as he entered the office. Spock spared a quick glance at Penelope's sprawling figure before turning his attention towards the other science officer.

"I have been informed that you will be leaving us tomorrow to return to a posting on Earth," Spock stated. He remained silent for a moment, his dark eyes turning down to the floor and then back up to Carol. "I wish to express my ... respect for you as a colleague and my regards for your safe return to London. It has been a pleasure working beside you in a professional capacity." Spock then added, a bit reluctantly, Penelope judged, "And in a personal capacity, as well."

"Thank you, Spock," Carol said sincerely, getting up from her seat. Now that Carol was no longer trying to hide her pregnancy, she'd gone back to the blue dress uniform, although it must have been modified to allow the growing bump. Carol went forward, grasping Spock's shoulder with one hand. "That means a lot to me. Really, thank you."

Penelope watched as the first officer nodded stiffly and spun around to leave the office. Once he was gone, Carol shared a look with Penelope as if to say _what the hell?_ The Assistant Chief shrugged from her horizontal position, thinking Carol might be missed more than she thought she would be.

"You were saying something before about a giant?" Carol asked, but Penelope couldn't remember.

"Don't worry about it."

* * *

The shuttle had everything inside of it but Carol herself, and Penelope considered all the things that might go wrong on her trip back. The engines could stop running. The pilot could spontaneously die. A Romulan vessel could pick them up. Space debris could hit the ship. A sun might explode...

It could happen.

Penelope stood waiting to see Carol off, along with Kirk, most of his main Bridge team, McCoy, and a few other blueshirts Penelope recognized from meals with the science officer. Scotty had come as well, and so Keenser was there also.

Family. Just not the one Carol needed. The sting came back heavily, weighing down Penelope's chest as Carol finished discussing something with Kirk in a low voice. She turned to the rest of them, saying goodbye to each officer personally and receiving hugs all around. Carol even hugged Spock, though he remained stock-still at the gesture. Uhura patted him gently on the arm when Carol released him.

Penelope was the very last in line, and Carol faced her head on.

"How'd we end up here?" Carol wondered, and if she looked a bit teary, well Penelope would chalk it up to pregnancy hormones and leave it at that.

"It's a long story," Penelope said, and the two shared a smile. Carol wiped a hand at her eyes, still managing to look picture perfect.

"You'll stay safe, no playing hero?" Carol prompted, and Penelope let out a short burst of quiet laughter.

"Do you know me?" the engineer asked, shaking her head. Hero? Hardly. Leave her with a wrench in a jeffries tube, and Penelope would be content to hide there while security and Kirk dealt with the scary aliens.

"Yes," Carol said with a sad smile, reaching forward and pulling Penelope into a hug. For once, the engineer felt no hesitation in wrapping her arms around another human being and holding them close. Carol's belly protruded between them, but Penelope ignored it and tried to hold back her tears at the farewell. "You're a much better person than you pretend, Penelope Waters. You saved my life." The engineer sniffled, not arguing and not agreeing.

"You'll be on Earth in a few months," Carol continued. "We're not really saying goodbye."

Penelope nodded into her friend's shoulder, and then they finally released the other, pulling back and separating.

"See you, Waters," Carol said simply, bringing up that first meeting back into Penelope's mind.

"See you around."

Carol waved one last goodbye all around before entering the shuttle. Even as Scotty's hand placed itself kindly on her shoulder from behind, Penelope managed to hold in any embarrassing reaction to the farewell, keeping a neutral expression. The shuttle lifted up and whirred away, exiting the hangar and the airlock into space.

They all remained there for a while, groups forming and talking. Penelope shrugged off Scotty's touch, patted Keenser absently in passing, and made her way from the loading dock. When McCoy fell into step beside her, Penelope greeted him with a subdued nod.

"You alright, Waters?" McCoy asked.

"No." They entered the nearest elevator together. She let McCoy call out for Sickbay first, choosing to lean one shoulder against the side of the enclosed area. Her arms crossed absently as she stared in front of her. _So that was that._

 _Alone._

"You wanna talk about it?" McCoy offered, and surprisingly didn't sound begrudged over the question. Penelope kept her gaze straight ahead.

"No."

"Okay," the doctor huffed, and when the lift reached the level of Sickbay, he moved to exit. Halfway out, McCoy turned back to face her. "Listen, maybe this is the wrong time, but -" Whatever McCoy meant to say, it cut off when a few rowdy security officers rounded the hall with loud shouts. The interruption caused McCoy to blink and simply mutter a quick _nevermind_ before striding away.

"Engineering," Penelope called out. The lift brought her down a few floors, and in the walk to A Section, Penelope considered the idea of getting a shore leave on Earth. She'd get to see Tommy, and Marie and Laura and Zach, and Carol and the baby. Penelope had something to look forward to. _Not goodbye_ , the engineer reminded herself stubbornly as tears threatened to spill over.

The last two days of argument seemed to be forgotten as Penelope returned to work and Scotty never even grumbled at her. He left her alone to work in a secluded area of C Section, running maintenance checks on some of the life-support systems.

She spent her break with Youngblood and Reynolds, neither of whom were much for conversation. The three of them sat in mostly companionable silence in the closest mess hall, and Penelope decided only to get coffee. With her mood as it was, she'd probably just pick at the food anyways. She stared down at the nearly black liquid with discontent.

Carol would have told her to eat something gross and healthy. _It wasn't like she was dead_ , Penelope thought. An image of Illa's face danced through her thoughts, unwelcome and strange. _She's only pregnant. Not a death sentence._

But Carol leaving meant things were changing, and it brought a little reality back to Penelope's world. Things could get so strange out in space, so disconnected from everything _normal_.

* * *

 _"What the hell are you doing back here?"_

 _The booming voice echoed off the grey metal walls of the_ U.S.S. Neptune _'s Engineering Deck 2. Penelope's curled form huddled more deeply into the ventilation shaft, avoiding the flailing hands of the enraged Starfleet officer. "Listen, kid. You're getting out of there one way or another. Either you can come out willingly, or I can climb in there and drag you out. Which is it going to be?"_

 _Ultimatum issued, the officer rocked back on her heels, giving Penelope the chance to decide. This was supposed to have been simple. Get off Andoria and stowaway on the starship until it reached Earth. The sixteen year old had everything planned out to the most minute detail._

 _Everything but the_ Neptune's _Chief Engineer finding her while she started to doze._

 _Not wanting to face the indignity of being forcibly removed from her spot, Penelope reluctantly exited the vent, sliding down the wall with her sneakers smacking the floor below. She stared rebelliously at the red-shirted officer, a challenge met with only mild amusement and slight annoyance._

 _"Kid -"_

 _"Penelope," the teen corrected with folded arms. The engineer looked down at her with raised eyebrows._

 _"Okay, Penelope. You want to explain to me what you're doing on this ship?" Apparently the stolen engineering uniform hadn't held up to close inspection, though it was only ever meant to fool at a quick glance. Obviously, she did not belong there._

 _Penelope stayed silent, shrugging her shoulders carelessly. The officer quirked a smile, tapping a wrench on her thigh in some tempo Penelope didn't know. She tilted her head, listening intently. Accent on the third beat, rest on the fourth, the next two like the first two, half beat of silence. Remember the way her mother's fingers danced gracefully over those yellowing piano keys and the way her voice rang out clear in a room._

 _"Got no reason to be here in particular? Just enjoying the view?" the woman gestured with her wrench over to the ventilation shaft, the tempo stopping all together. Remember when the music stopped and she came home and the police sirens and the arm, it was so pale, remember that arm and the color, there was no color, and hand pulling her back, and..._

 _"Hey, are you alright?" the officer seemed concerned, taking a step toward Penelope, but she took a step backward in return. Her back hit the wall, but Penelope was used to working in those kind of conditions. She wouldn't go back._

 _She could make it on her own._

 _Wrench in hand, the officer crossed her arms and pursed her lips in thought. "I got a deal for you, Penelope. It's only a couple days before we get to Earth. That's where you're headed, right?" Penelope nodded warily, hand clenching around the stolen phaser in her pocket. Starfleet officers were always so easy to pickpocket. A bit pathetic actually._

 _"Alright, so how's this. I'll tell anybody that asks that you're here from the Academy, granted you'll need to try and stay in Engineering. In turn, I get some help around here. Earn your keep. Fuckin' Starfleet only gave me five other officers to work with for this whole damn starship. Can you believe that?" the engineer ranted, wrench waving around rapidly. "Anyways, it's either this, or I tell the captain, and trust me when I tell you she's been in a bad mood lately. Which you going with, Penelope?"_

 _"Don't snitch on me," Penelope warned, as though she somehow had a way to back it up._

 _"Hope you like getting your hand dirty, Penelope," the engineer smiled, tossing the wrench into the air and catching it as she gestured towards the machinery. "I'm Holt, by the way. Lizzy Holt."_

 _"I'm not giving you my last name," Penelope said, eyeing the wrench as Holt flipped it again._

 _"Yeah, yeah, Penelope. You better thank the stars me and the captain don't see eye to eye, otherwise you'd probably be on the shuttle back to that ice planet by now," Holt muttered as Penelope stepped forward to where she pointed. "You know what that is?" Penelope shook her head. "That's the life support. Don't touch anything on it unless I tell you to, otherwise you'll kill us all, got it?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Here," Holt said, extending the wrench out for Penelope to take. A long look between the engineer and the wrench passed from Penelope's face before she reached forward to take it. "Go ahead and try it," the engineer invited, slapping the system she had just warned her not to touch._

 _"Uh," Penelope stuttered, wrench in hand but not wanting to 'kill us all', as Holt had put it._

 _"I was just joking before." But Penelope still refused to go near the machine. "Fine, we'll start out somewhere smaller, like the dilithium chambers."_

 _"What do they do?" Penelope asked, running forward to catch up with the long strides of the officer as she raced away._

 _"They power the warp core. Make the ship go zoom!"_ _Penelope had the feeling the next two days would be hellish. The battered state of the wrench confirmed her theory._

 _"Hurry up, Penelope!"_

* * *

Penelope felt that wrench against the material of her sock, secured tightly in her boot. Who could've guessed then where she'd be so many years later? Still tumbling around space, still not having a clue. At least she knew how to work the machines, how to fix them up and not get everyone killed. That served to comfort Penelope more than anything Holt had ever tried to tell her.

Crazy woman. Nice taste in tools. Penelope thought she'd heard her being promoted in passing, but she couldn't quite recall if it was a significant position or not. Whatever the case, Penelope hoped she wasn't around that captain from _Neptune_. Though she'd hid in the ventilation shaft during the captain's sole visit to Engineering, their elevated voices had boomed all across the deck in a screaming match.

Downing the last of her coffee, Penelope muttered, "See you." Youngblood and Reynolds both nodded absently at her statement, with Youngblood's face buried in a PADD and Reynolds staring at her food without eating it. On the way out, Penelope dropped off her mug.

George passed her in the hall, trying to trip her but failing. Penelope rolled her eyes at his deflated expression, making a rude gesture discreetly in his direction before entering the lift. It took her one level down to Engineering, and the Assistant Chief almost ran into Scotty on the way out.

"Ah, there ya are. Can ya watch the captain while I take my break?" Scotty asked. Penelope sighed.

"Is Chekov with him at least?" It was Penelope's personal opinion that the command officers, barring Chekov, should stay in their own division. The captain disagreed, and often times came down to work when the Bridge had kicked him out. Scotty did Kirk the favor of not telling McCoy or Spock, which meant Penelope was usually delegated the task of finding the wayward captain whenever he fell asleep at one of the stations.

Workaholics. The entire crew was full of them.

"Not today," Scotty said before leaving on the elevator. Penelope sighed, making her way over to where Kirk sat at one of A Section's computer docks. The determined expression on his face put her on guard almost instantaneously.

"If you're going to put in a new code for something, ask Rome first," Penelope warned from behind him. He didn't even jump at her unannounced presence. In fact, Kirk failed to acknowledge her at all.

She shouldn't ask. She should really just go.

"Captain?" Penelope prompted, walking forward to stand a little off to the side of him. Kirk looked up in a distracted fashion, and his eyes seemed a little too bright. "Maybe you should take a break," the engineer suggested quietly.

"'m fine," Kirk insisted, but his fingers no longer flitted around the screen. Penelope shot him a look that spoke volumes on her idea of how valid his statement was. "Really, why does everyone keep looking at me like I'm going to fall apart?"The frustration leaked into his tone.

"I don't think that," Penelope told Kirk.

"So Carol's gone, so what?" he muttered.

"Right," the engineer agreed, shoving her hands in her pockets with a shrug.

"I'm going to be a dad in a few months. So what? That's normal right?" Kirk babbled, and Penelope nodded in agreement.

"Sure." The engineer offered Kirk a hand, which he took and pulled himself up with.

"I mean, me, a father. To a person. Little, tiny person," Kirk continued, and Penelope patted his arm a few times before dragging him along to Scotty's office. The door slid open, and Penelope herded him over to one of the chairs. "Like, that's okay. And I'm going to stay here, and Carol's going away. Better that way, like she said, right?"

Penelope shrugged again. "I guess." She then pulled out her PADD casually, signaling a medical emergency to McCoy and slipping the thing back into her belt.

Running a hand through his hair, Kirk's eyes seemed to glow even brighter. "Yeah, except it's really not. Fucking hell, it's really not, though. My parents stayed together through the whole thing, but because I messed up once, now it's all my fault, and Carol's going to stay with her mother, who by the way," Kirk told her, "isn't a walk in the park."

"Yeah," Penelope said when she felt Kirk wanted input. He jumped up from the chair and started pacing. Penelope thought back to when Carol had done the same thing months ago, but she shook the memory away.

"Her mother _hates_ me. And now Carol's going to be with her for months, and next thing I know, it'll probably be next to no contact because her mom thinks I'll be a bad influence on the baby. And she'll be right, too. That's the stupid part," Kirk pouted, flopping back down in the chair right around the time McCoy burst into the office. Both Penelope and Kirk turned to face the CMO, who looked ready to inject Kirk full off hypos.

"What's wrong?" McCoy asked at the same time that Kirk wondered, "What're you doing here?"

They both stared at each other for a moment, and then at Penelope. She tried to look normal as she checked her PADD for the time. "Oh, look, Captain. Your friend, um," Penelope stuttered, not remembering the doctor's first name. "Bones. Look, here's Bones, who's going to enjoy your company. And I'm going to go do ... fixing things, not people, but machine stuff. So have fun..."

"You told me the captain was incapacitated, Waters!" McCoy yelled, that familiar look of grumpiness morphing into anger.

"He is. Mentally. Have fun," Penelope mumbled, ducking under the doctor's arm and jogging out of the office. No way she was sitting through another one of those talks with Kirk, not when she could hardly muster the energy to do her own job after Carol left. McCoy and Kirk could share a nice long heart to heart in Scotty's office, and Penelope could be free to hang around C Section.

 _Not the family I need._

It continued to sting.


	21. Chapter 21

**U.S.S. Enterprise: An Engineer's Adventure**

 **Chapter 21 – Her Adventure**

Penelope rolled over in her bed, unable to fall back asleep.

She'd woken up early, a most sincere tragedy to a person who loved sleep as much as oxygen. The Assistant Chief lazily moved into a sitting position, her bed warmed skin cooling in the open air. With a small shiver, Penelope wrapped herself in a small blanket and got up to take a shower.

In a rare moment of indulgence, she turned the heat up to lukewarm and dropped the blanket on the ground. Penelope shed her clothes off clumsily and stepped wearily under the water. It felt nice, and she turned her face to the spray with a small smile. She washed her hair languidly, enjoying the smell of the shampoo, and then she quickly ran a bar of soap over her skin.

And ... she forgot to bring a towel. When she exited the shower, Penelope left wet footprints on the floor as she padded over to the dresser. Once dried, the engineer pulled on her uniform. She glanced in the mirror while she put up her hair, and her green eyes stared back at her, saying: _get them coffee before they melt._

Only too happy to be of assistance, Penelope left her room and entered the elevator at the end of the hall. It took her up two levels, but stopped along the way to allow three blueshirts to enter. They all greeted her morning before Penelope left them for the mess hall. The replicator was computing her coffee far too slowly, and Penelope fought the urge to bang on the machine with her fist. Coffee, like sleep, could not be deprived from the engineer without serious consequences.

When finally the replicator swung open to reveal her mug, Penelope grabbed the coffee and her meal card quickly and allowed the person behind her access to the machine. She sipped the hot liquid once, eyes darting around and landing on Scotty. He was alone at a table in the corner, which came as a surprise to her.

Penelope went over to where he sat, pulling into the seat across from him. Scotty looked miserable: his nose was red, his eyes were puffy, and he was far too pale.

"G'mornin', lass," Scotty sniffled.

"Sick?" Penelope guessed, and the other engineer nodded in response.

"Aye. I hate to ask, but would you mind beaming down with the captain today? I just don't feel up to it." Penelope almost immediately turned Scotty down, but she reconsidered at his pitiful expression. No matter how much she hated landing parties, Penelope really didn't want Scotty in a dangerous position when he could barely hold his head up.

"Can't someone else?" Penelope grumbled, drinking more of the coffee. Scotty sensed weakness, and she really couldn't tell if the ensuing coughing fit was real or faked.

"Captain wants somebody he knows can fix the shuttle in a dicey situation. He says if I can't go, he wants you there."

"No he doesn't," Penelope argued. "He wants revenge."

"Lass, how many times do I have ta tell ya? He doesn't blame you for the chair breaking," Scotty assured her, but Penelope shook her head.

"He does, Mr. Scott. I've seen it. I swear, I didn't even do it," Penelope muttered, eyes pleading with Scotty to believe her over Kirk. His chair had collapsed the other day as soon as he had sat down, and his finger immediately pointed at her. So she'd been on the Bridge earlier in the day? She hadn't touched his precious captain's chair, no matter what his paranoia told him.

"I know ya didn't, Wrenchy, and Jim knows that too."

Lies.

* * *

"Oh, no," Penelope whispered as she watched three people approach in the distance. The cerulean blue sky engulfed the forms of Yalmark and Spock as they limped forward carrying Kirk. He seemed to be bleeding, or someone had to be, judging by the amount of blood covering them all.

"Where's Chekov?" Penelope asked as they came within hearing distance. Chekov, the last member of the five man away team, was nowhere in sight. The simple contact with the natives appeared to have not gone over well, judging by the amount of wounds covering their bodies. The captain groaned but said nothing, and Penelope realized he was unconscious. Spock placed him down inside the shuttle, giving Yalmark instructions to commence with first aid before returning out to her.

"Lieutenant Chekov remains in the forest," Spock informed her without inflection, eyes fixed across the large clearing. Penelope's own gaze darted between the woods and the first officer expectantly.

"So, are you going to go get him?" Penelope asked.

The first officer stayed silent for a time. Then, he answered with a blank expression. "We must go now." Penelope gaped at him, unable to truly understand.

"But Chekov's still -"

"You have your orders, Lieutenant," Spock said harshly, but all Penelope could think was how Scotty would look when she told him they had to leave Chekov behind. The hero-worship he lathered on Scotty had grown ridiculous as their time on the ship continued. It didn't help that Scotty seemed to know everything about the _Enterprise_ , and that Chekov absorbed information like a sponge.

Leave without him. How?

"Sir, I request permission to go and get Lieutenant Chekov," Penelope exclaimed.

"Request denied, Waters. We are going now," Spock said with finality, but Penelope still could not accept his orders.

"Why not? You go on ahead, and I'll beam up with Chekov later."

"There is an ion cloud covering that entire forest. If you go in there, the transporter cannot beam you out," Spock told her. "Even if you manage to find Lieutenant Chekov, and bring him out of the forest alive, it would be nearly impossible to leave the planet. Now I will not tell you again, Lieutenant. We are leaving. Chekov is already lost, and it would be illogical to stay and lose more people."

She'd probably be sent to the penal colony for the breach of contract. The first officer had enough pull to accomplish that, at least, but Penelope knew it would be worth it to save Scotty from a bit of pain.

 _The universe does not acknowledge good deeds. It is not concerned with the safety of the innocent or the health of the sick. It does not reward the brave._

Penelope knew that. She knew that, but at the same time, she knew that she had to go. Penelope wasn't Chekov's best friend, but she knew that he was loved by people that mattered to her, and that he liked math and engineering and learning new things. He liked hanging out with Sulu. He was considered a genius, and he was only twenty years old. Tommy was not that much younger than him.

Her mother's pale arm. Johnny's glassy eyes staring out into the distance. Illa's phaser pointed at her heart. She never wanted to feel that hopeless again. Never wanted to have that kind of despair.

She had nothing to lose but her life, after all.

"Commander Spock," Penelope addressed the first officer as he turned away to enter the shuttle. He twisted his body a few degrees in acknowledgment and stopped on the steps. "You said nearly impossible, right?" Spock blinked once.

"Don't wait for me," she told him, and with that, Penelope turned on her heel and ran into the golden colored forest. Her PADD came out, and the tracking device in Chekov blinked onto her screen. At the very least, the navigator still had a pulse. That comforted her as she raced into the woods.

* * *

If someone were to ask Penelope how she ended up on the alien planet with Chekov slung over her shoulder, she'd probably blame it on any number of things: a sick Chief Engineer, a vengeful Captain, an emotionless First Officer, a navigator's baby-faced expression, and so on and so forth.

The main point was that Penelope never wanted to go on the away mission in the first place, and if she got off the planet alive, someone was going to pay.

Her heart pumped painfully in her chest as the strain of carrying her human burden began to slow her legs. The exotically golden vegetation of the planet had some sort of sticky residue that hugged her skin and mixed with the sweat there also. With her left hand, Penelope pulled out her communicator and tried to access directions to the rendezvous point while still running as fast as she could.

Chekov groaned on her back, and Penelope's breaths turned into wheezes when the communicator shorted out. She paused for a split second, whipping her body around in a circle, trying to make sense of her surroundings. Yellow, gold, bronze, amber. The colors of the leafy plants shone spectacularly under the bright sun, and not a bit of it looked familiar to the Assistant Chief.

The pounding footsteps of the natives echoed loudly, so Penelope cursed quietly and simply chose to go in the opposite direction.

Bright, sunny hues replaced the normal shades of green Penelope might expect in a Terran forest, and the disorienting effect of it had her vision swimming. Chekov sounded like he was crying, and Penelope wasn't surprised. His very likely broken legs bumped against her front as she continued to race away from the aggressive population they'd come across.

"It's okay," Penelope whispered, though she couldn't tell if she'd spoken Standard or French. She tried adjusting his injured body into a more comfortable position over her shoulder, but the engineer doubted it had made any real difference. Chekov went limp a minute later, so Penelope assumed the navigator had finally passed out from the strain.

He was slowing her down too much, Penelope concluded as the pounding footfall of their pursuers became louder in her ears. Far enough away to be out of sight, but not enough for comfort. They would both probably be killed on sight. If she put Chekov down, maybe she would have a chance to outrun them.

No. She'd committed to his rescue when she'd gone back for him. Abandoning him now would be pointless either way, and unnecessarily cruel. If she was going to die, well, at least she could try and do it right. Body burning with exertion, Penelope began to fear very seriously for their chances of survival. If she could just take a quick break, catch her breath, then maybe they would stand a fighting chance.

One of them was blocking her path.

Skidding to a halt, the engineer locked eyes with the alien. Its height seemed to tower over Penelope by at least a foot, and it's skin shimmered a glittery rose-red. Its gaze appeared intelligent, and its irises burned the same gold as the forest. The nose flattened against its face, and its humanoid structure faced her menacingly.

It had no mouth.

They stood a few yards apart, Penelope and the unnamed person. Its hand extended out towards her, but the engineer did not understand if that meant friendship or hostility. Either way, the sounds of the glistening woods danced around her in a breezy gust of wind, and Penelope felt her heart slow.

Bright yellow grass extended all around, mixed with a reddish clay ground. The natives were still approaching, Penelope knew, but it suddenly became very important that she go to the tall stranger. She walked forward slowly, her limbs aching but her mind dull. The outstretched arm ended with a hand complete with three fingers, and the tips of them bulged into large, circular pads.

Penelope's own arm extended as if she were in a trance. Their eyes still locked, green and gold, and when Penelope's inner three fingers of her left hand met those of the alien's, everything faded away. There was no sight, no sound, no feeling, no smell or taste. There was no sense of self. Only darkness, but not even that, because that might imply the possibility of light.

Nothing in every direction for all eternity.

Fear.

* * *

 _"Don't be afraid, Penelope. It was just a dream."_

 _A soothing hand ran comfortingly through her tangled curls, and Penelope gasped from her most recent nightmare. Her head lay limply in her aunt's lap, and the bedside light had been turned on. The teenager fixed her tired eyes on the shining brightness, hoping to will away the vision her mind had produced._

 _A pale arm, a broken smile, a bloody bathtub with streaks running down the dirty side. Her mother's face blank, neck hanging haphazardly over the side, and the haunting sound of her voice still singing. It was all lies, besides the arm. Things Penelope hadn't seen, but in their absence, her mind had conjured up more than enough images to satisfy her dark curiosity._

 _They looked alike, her mother and her aunt. Only a few years apart, with her mother being the elder. Their faces followed the same pattern, same straight, dark hair and green eyes. Both with ivory pale skin, though her aunt had a light dusting of freckles on her nose._

 _Too similar, still. Too much the same._

 _Penelope curled into herself, ashamed at her night terrors and ashamed at her weakness. It had already been three months. Weren't things supposed to get better?_

 _The gentle hand continued to stroke her head, and though Penelope wouldn't admit it, the gesture comforted her. She remembered when she was little, and her parents would let her climb into bed with them. Her father would pull open some article on his worn out receiver, looking smart and making the occasional complaint, and Penelope's mother would sing her a song as they snuggled under the blankets._

 _Where had he been all that time? Why didn't he want her now?_

 _"Go back to sleep, love," her aunt said, her thumb brushing forward to smooth out the worry lines creasing her forehead._

 _"I didn't mean to wake you up," Penelope mumbled finally, not turning away from the light of the lamp._

 _"It's alright," she assured her. "Jared and I were still awake anyways."_

 _"Did Olivia wake up?"_

 _"No, don't worry. Everything's fine now," her aunt said calmly, and as Penelope let her wary eyes slide back shut, her aunt began to hum a very familiar tune. It lulled her to sleep in the room as big as their old apartment._

 _Soft, flowing melody more bright than the lamp or the sun._

* * *

Nothing. There was nothing, forever and ever.

Nothing but her own mind. She could focus in on that. Her name was …

She did not know. But she had been with Chekov, who was someone she knew. Yes. And they had been running away. Why? Why had they been doing that? But she'd done it for a reason. Penelope, that was her name, always had a reason, and she'd wanted to protect the young man. She had to get away from wherever she was and get Chekov and just run.

And then a burning sensation emanating from all places, all times.

Heat.

* * *

 _"Oh shit," the other cadet exclaimed. "I'm so sorry!"_

 _Scalding hot coffee poured down over her recently washed uniform, the black liquid forming instant stains on the material. The scent of it turned her stomach. Penelope looked down in disgust and then up into the clumsy cadet's apologetic face. He ran over and grabbed a few napkins from the closest table before shoving them at her._

 _He continued to babble incessantly. "Really, oh my god. I can't believe I just did that. I'm normally super careful -"_

 _"It's fine," Penelope said, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice. Even as she dabbed the napkins on her front, Penelope could tell it wouldn't make much of a difference. She couldn't make it all the way back home before class to change, and in the collision between them, Penelope had also managed to lose her cup of tea._

 _The first day of officer's training was not looking great so far._

 _"It's not fine," the cadet shook his head rapidly. "Can I do anything? Seriously, I'm so, so sorry."_

 _"Really," Penelope bit out. "It's okay ..."_

 _"Johnny," the cadet stuck his hand forward in a jerky fashion. Penelope raised her eyebrows at the offered appendage. She considered shrugging off the handshake, shaking off the ill-coordinated cadet, and simply making her way to class in a stained uniform._

 _Instead, she reached forward and grabbed his hand firmly._

 _"Waters," Penelope informed him stiffly._

 _His answering grin shone in the California heat, dark eyes glittering._

* * *

Shattered remains of her own mind lay in pieces around her. Where was she? Why did it hurt so much here? _The pain, oh god, the pain._ It whipped around her like a thousand hot pokers, lashing her entire being with flame. If she had a mouth, Penelope might call out in agony. But she was nowhere and couldn't exist but in her own thoughts.

Nothing but her.

Alone.

* * *

 _**"** _It's the penal colony or Starfleet, Miss Waters. The choice is yours."__

 _ _The judge's voice echoed throughout the mostly empty chamber of rotting wood that stunk with the dried sweat of the hopeless. Penelope clenched her eyes shut for a moment, considering the decision in front of her. Yes, the android had told her Frello V made more sense. Yes, Penelope could see the logic in it. Yes, she hated Starfleet.__

 _ _But then again, so had her father.__

 _ _And Penelope was worth more than a a five year stint on some abandoned planetoid.__

 _ _"Starfleet," Penelope declared, opening her eyelids and locking eyes with the judge. She hated his boredom, his billowing black robes, and his beady eyes. "I want to join Starfleet." Penelope smirked when the judge's expression varied to a few degrees shy of surprise. The android beside her said nothing, but she could almost feel it attempting to recalculate.__

 _ _She'd almost chosen the penal colony.__

 _ _Her choice, her moment, and she'd picked the rougher course.__

* * *

She could hear voices, familiar but faraway. Penelope tried to listen, and on some level, she might even have been able to understand what they were saying. Chekov, was that what Chekov sounded like? Long vowels and Slavic tones.

"Waters, we're okay. The doctor has to look at me now, so you have to put me down, yes?"

Danger, adrenaline, sweat, and the burning in her lungs and in her legs. Running, she needed to keep running. Had she stopped? The golden planet and those yellow eyes bore into her very essence. They'd hurt Chekov, hurt the captain, too. And Yalmark and someone else. She had to go back to get the navigator because she didn't want to see Scotty cry.

Tears.

* * *

 _Flipping open the device, Penelope called out weakly. "Waters to Medical. Please respond." About twenty seconds passed in near agony. Her breaths became short and pained, and her eyes were flickering._

 _"This is Medical Officer Johnson. Is this an emergency, Waters?"_

 _"I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding, I'm bleeding," she panted into the communicator, failing to keep her thoughts straight. Stay calm, keep...breathing..._

 _"How bad? Please respond. What is the severity of your injury?"_

 _Calm, calm, she needed to be calm, but she was starting to cry. Fuck, it hurt. The metal twisting in her belly still remained._

 _"Waters! Give me your location so that I can send medics to you." Keep breathing, eyes ahead, stay calm. Was that the right order? Keep breathing, straight ahead, eyes calm. Yes?_

 _Breathe._

 _"Waters! Hello? Give me your location, now." The voice on the other end had become insistent. Why? She had to breathe and stay calm and focus, dammit, focus._

 _Breathe...breathe..._

 _"This is an order, Waters. Respond."_

* * *

But how could she respond when she was nothing. The pain from the injury morphed into the pain of not existing, which somehow hurt more than anything at all. Darkness, into darkness with no chance of escape. Remains of who she was before flew through her, and Penelope clung to them like lifeboats.

* * *

 _I thought I wasn't going to get to say goodbye._

 _The clear smell of the sea._

 _Laura's laugh and a quiet hello._

 _You're a good person, Penelope._

 _Blood on her shoes and the ache of bruised knuckles._

 _I was, and always will be, your friend._

 _Legs bent the wrong way, chest caved in._

 _This is home. We're a family. Right here._

 _Death is not the end. It's an adventure._

* * *

The voices surfaced again.

"Can ya hear me, lass?" the Scottish accent bounced around in the vacuum. "There's something wrong with her, Jim … Wrenchy, we're glad ya gave Chekov to the doctors, but ya need to stop banging yare head like that. Please."

"Bones, you might need to sedate her."

"I do not believe that would be advisable, Captain."

"Spock, she's going to keep hurting herself if we don't."

Penelope needed to focus, to somehow find a way to _be_ again.

Impossible.

* * *

" _ _We have received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged__ _in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all Cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed." Flashes of orange-red and grey moving in all directions. Johnny's hand tightly holding hers as she sucked in a deep breath._

 _The sight of Vulcan collapsing._

 _A dying supergiant just outside, and "every time I patch him up, I wonder if it'll be the last time."_

 _Chekov slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes._

 _Did it hurt? Even for an instant?_

* * *

"I believe I can be of assistance," the level voice said.

There was someone else there with her, Penelope realized. Another thing, and they existed. Penelope tried to push them out, afraid that they too would begin to feel the pain of not being and at the same time feeling nothing at all.

"You also exist, in both body and thought, though they have been separated rather viciously," the other person told her. "I will attempt to mend the damage. You must … I find this difficult to explain. You must relax your thoughts. They are too – disjointed."

Penelope did not understand, did not know how to do anything. She was nowhere and the burning would never cease. It could not because there was no time, and without that, there was no limit. No point of start and end, like love, her mother had said.

"Focus on one thing. Pick something, anything, and think only of that," the person instructed her. But what was she to pick? "It does not matter, only that you choose it and think of nothing else." Penelope flickered through the possibilities.

She thought of the way McCoy had looked in the blue light of the star last New Years.

If they had any opinion on her decision, they did not tell her. All she knew was that the more she honed in on his face, the more and more relief she found from the gradually decreasing pain. Penelope slowly became aware of the fact that she had toes, and then fingers, and then that she had lungs that could inhale and exhale.

That was rather neat.

Things fell into place like pieces of a puzzle, and soon after, Penelope could see again. She was in Sickbay, oddly enough, and the first officer's fingers were attached to her face in an odd pattern. Penelope couldn't feel the touch yet, but she could see it very clearly. Her gaze darted around, and Penelope observed with great amusement the crease between McCoy's eyebrows.

She had a mouth now, and a tongue, so Penelope used them. "You'll give yourself wrinkles," the engineer, because that was what she was, said quietly. The Assistant Chief Engineering Officer aboard the _U.S.S. Enterprise_ fought a grin as the CMO's own mouth twisted unkindly.

Before the doctor could even begin to rant, Penelope was able to feel again.

And she _hurt_.

The engineer could hear her own pained screams bounce around the room, and her short fingernails dug into the skin of her palm as she balled her fists. The burning had returned, but now it reached her body as well as her mind. Her eyes clenched shut in pain.

"Spock, what's going on? I thought she was getting better," Penelope heard the captain say, raising his voice to be heard over her yelling. A strong hand pushed her back against the bed, and the fingers that had been forcibly removed from her face came back.

"I have never seen a mental attack quite this brutal, and I was never trained in the healing arts of Vulcan. Forgive me if I made some error," the first officer said quickly aloud, but also inside her mind as well. Blistering heat that should've been peeling back her skin prickled on all surfaces, and people were talking, but nothing existed but the pain anymore.

Kill her. Please, just kill her.

"Wrenchy, it's going to be okay." A hand gently took a hold of her own, and Penelope realized Scotty was there. Tears threatened to fall over from her tightly closed eyelids, but the engineer refused to let them go. She couldn't let Scotty see she was hurt. He'd worry.

Her mouth clamped close with a snap, and the high pitched screaming stopped.

"Is she okay now, Spock?" McCoy asked, and Penelope trembled with the need to express her turmoil.

"No," the first officer said, and once again, it seemed like Penelope registered his words twice. "The Lieutenant believes that it will distress Mr. Scott if she continues to verbally communicate her pain. She has ceased on his behalf."

Spock was everywhere, flitting from the forefront of her thoughts to the shattered pieces of memories buried somewhere at the back of her brain. Penelope wanted him to make it stop hurting. Could he please make it stop?

 _I am sorry. I do not know how._

Then kill her. It was not worth living if she had to endure this.

"Penelope, lass, it's okay," Scotty assured her, his grip spreading a comforting warmth on her rigid fist. "Don't worry about me. Whatever ya need to do, just go ahead." Penelope weakly opened her eyes, and through her blurred vision, she saw Scotty sitting beside her.

Family. Like love, with no beginning and no ending.

Images of other people, with tilted eyebrows and blank expressions were unleashed. Spock could no longer hold his own mind back as he tried to heal her.

A door opened extends in both directions.

Memories not her own, filling the broken places of her thought.

* * *

 _"This is your thirty-fifth attempt to illicit an emotional response from me," she said, only she was not herself. The angle was all wrong, the voice childlike. There were domes filling the ground and children walking calmly around her. She was being confronted by three boys, all of them dressed in some type of gray uniform._

 _"You're neither human nor Vulcan and therefore have no place in this universe."_

 _"Look, he has human eyes. They look sad, don't they?" Penelope could feel the stirrings of shame in her body, more intense than normal. Rejection stinging cruelly, though she'd done nothing but be born to incur their disapproval. Her vision darted around the faces of her peers._

 _"Perhaps an emotional response requires physical stimuli." With that, the first boy to speak came forward and shoved her backwards roughly. She stumbled, her mouth opening and arms moving in order to steady herself._

 _"He's a traitor, you know? Your father. For marrying her, that human whore."_

 _Rage of the kind Penelope had only felt a few times in her life bubbled up from her abdomen and forced her to call out. Her body rushed forward of its own accord, and when she got her hands on the boy, she pushed him into the nearest dome. He fell with a clanging sound, but she wasn't done. She needed to …_

* * *

 _"Excuse me, Commander," a voice called from her right, drawing Penelope's eyes up to the figure of Uhura. Her gaze was steady and confident, but it held none of its normal kindness. "May we speak more privately?" Penelope nodded in agreement, the movement stiff and jerky. From the crowded hallway, she followed the orange red uniform of the cadet into the projector room, where immediately Uhura's expression turned to fury._

 _"You cannot keep ignoring this," Uhura insisted, and Penelope took a step backwards. Her hands clasped beneath her back nervously, but she was committed to the decision she had made and would stand by it no matter how much it pained her._

 _"This is neither the time nor the place for this discussion, Cadet," she said, though her voice sounded remarkably different than the one she was used too. And she was significantly taller, as well. Strange._

 _Looking down at Uhura, Penelope noticed her eyes turn hard. "Cadet? Really? We're back to that now?" She was upset, Penelope observed, and that in turn made her feel … completely horrible. But it was better this way. "My name is Nyota, Spock."_

 _"I am aware."_

 _"Then why don't you use it? You are grieving, Spock, but that doesn't mean you get to push everyone else away. Why can't you see that?_ _"_

 _Because she would not allow herself to feel. It was dangerous, and though it seemed like she was ripping apart of herself away, Penelope could no longer allow their relationship to continue._

* * *

 _"They called you a traitor," Penelope explained through the sting of her lower lip. Her father, but not her father, looked down at her tranquilly. Shouldn't he be upset like she was? No, because unlike her, he was fully Vulcan. She would never be able to attain the same control._

 _It was not fair._

 _"Emotions run deep within our race," her father said, eyes focusing away from her. "In many ways more deeply than in humans. Logic offers serenity humans seldom experience." The wind chimes of the atrium rang in her ears, but not even the pretty sound could calm her from her racing thoughts._

 _Human. Vulcan. Neither and both. Not fair._

 _"The control of feelings, so that they do not control you," her father insisted firmly._

 _"You suggest that I be completely Vulcan," Penelope wondered. "And yet you married a human."_

 _"As ambassador to Earth, it is my duty to observe and understand human behavior. Marrying your mother was," her father exhaled deeply, "logical." His head shook slightly, but then he continued. "Spock, you are fully capable of deciding your own destiny. The question you face is: which path will you choose. This is something only you can decide."_

* * *

The memories came faster then, in short bursts of light that saved her from herself.

* * *

 _Scotty shook his head at her, his face turning down to face the ground. She looked over at the radiation chamber and strode towards it, eyes not believing what she knew to be true. Her breath came out in shuddering pants. She saw Jim on the ground, head hidden from view._

 _"Open it," she ordered Scotty, and even as she asked she knew it couldn't be done._

 _The engineer's eyes filled with tears as he answered. "The decontamination process is not complete. You'd flood the whole compartment. The door's locked, sir." His voice filled with emotion, but she couldn't even really focus on anything but the injustice of it all. They had won. So why did it feel like she had lost so much?_

 _She knelt down, bending her knees so as to become more level with Jim. He panted, lifting his arm up to close the inner core door. His blue eyes blinked blearily up at her. "How's our ship?" he breathed._

 _"Out of danger."_

* * *

 _"Under penalty of court martial, I order you to explain to me how you were able to board this ship while moving at warp," she bit out in irritation. Kirk and the other officer stood in front of her, the cheating Cadet's body language screaming wordless defiance._

 _"Don't answer him," Kirk told the other man. Not so wordless. Penelope kept her gaze locked onto the intruder._

 _"You will answer me."_

 _With a disarming smile, the officer said, "I'd rather not take sides." And before she could even respond, Kirk stepped forward into her personal space. She balled her fists at the action._

 _"What is it with you Spock, hmm?" Kirk baited, and her eyes flickered over to land on him. "Your planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered, and you're not even upset..."_

 _She knew exactly the game Kirk was trying to play, but she was no longer the boy from Vulcan, bullied into emotional responses. She was a Starfleet Commander, acting Captain, and this human could not bring her down to his level._

 _"If you are presuming that these experiences in any way impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken."_

 _"And yet you were the one that said fear was necessary for command. I mean, did you see his ship, did you see what he did?"_

* * *

 _"You saved the crew."_

 _"You used what he wanted against him," Jim sighed in return. His eyes continued to blink slowly as he fought the end, and his blue gaze narrowed in approval. "That's a nice move."_

 _Her vision swam with unshed tears, her ability to control her own emotions slipping away from her like grains of sand. "It is what you would have done," she assured him._

 _"And this … this is what you would've done," Jim said, eyes moving up to stare into hers._

 _It was not fair._

 _"It was only logical."_

* * *

 _"Yes of course I did," she whispered in response. She would not let Kirk do this. She would not._

 _"So are you afraid or aren't you?" the Cadet questioned, his voice hard and his eyes boring into hers._

 _"I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion."_

 _Kirk's infuriatingly still expression answered her. "Then why don't you stop me?"_

 _"Step away from me, Mister -"_

* * *

 _Jim's eyes gleamed with forming tears, and Penelope was not able to even give him the reassurance of her touch. His breath became ragged, and hers followed a similar pattern. Logic. What had logic ever done for her that humanity hadn't always overridden?_

 _"I'm scared, Spock." Each word from Jim's mouth sounded like it caused him a great deal of pain, and it made her want to tell him not to speak. She was selfish, though, and needed to hear his voice. If Jim wanted to talk to her, then she would listen to every phrase as though she would soon never hear again._

 _"Help me not be."_

* * *

 _"What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak? Or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?"_

 _"Back away from me," she bit out, and her entire body worked to suppress the urge to tear Kirk's throat out. How dare he presume to understand a single thought in her brain? What could his simplistic, egotistical, dishonest mind hope to accomplish in these accusations?_

 _"You feel nothing!" Kirk spat._

* * *

 _"How do you choose not to feel?" Jim's eyes searched the ground, looking both inwardly and outwardly for the serenity she had failed to attain her entire life._

 _She shook her head, unable to give him the answer he needed. Watery eyes devoured the image of her friend, lying there helpless. She wanted to fight for him, give her life for him, but they were separated, and there was nothing to be done. Jim believed in no-win scenarios, but she believed in the laws of science._

 _They told her Jim was going to die._

 _"I do not know," she struggled to keep a steady tone. "Right now I am failing."_

* * *

 _"It must not even compute for you," Kirk exclaimed, his face close to hers. "You never loved her!"_

* * *

 _"There's no need to be anxious," her mother assured her, cool hands reaching to cradle her cheeks. Penelope sighed inwardly, half-irritated and half-pleased at her attention. The touch receded as she smiled. "You'll do fine."_

 _"I am hardly anxious, Mother," she said as her mother fussed with the front of her uniform. "And fine has variable definitions. Fine is unacceptable." The truth was that she was more nervous than she had ever felt, the uncomfortable sensation causing a tightness to spread on her skin._

 _"Okay," her mother whispered, smoothing down another spot at her collar. She grabbed the older woman's hands, and then gentled her grasp as her mother's face twisted for a moment._

 _"May I ask a personal query?"_

 _"Anything," her mother said, the smile there again, only for her. Penelope breathed in and out once, twice, and then continued._

 _"Should I choose to complete the Vulcan discipline of kolinhar, and purge all emotion?" she asked. The question sounded harsher out loud than it had in thought. She scrambled to resolve the situation. "I trust ... you will not feel it reflects judgment upon you." Her mother's smile turned inward and then in easy affection once again._

 _"Oh, Spock. As always, no matter what you choose to be, you will have a proud mother."_

* * *

 _Jim tried to speak, his words stringing together in exertion. "I want you to know why I couldn't let you die."_

* * *

 _She screamed in fury and punched Kirk in the face. She knew it would hurt him there, a previous injury still present on his cheek. The Cadet tumbled backwards into one of the security team, and as the officer tried to steady Kirk, she grabbed his shirt lapel and swung him around into a computer dock._

 _Kirk tried to put up a fight, but he was weaker than her in all respects. He would pay for what he had done, for what he had said. A particularly brutal punch had Kirk stumbling in his defense, and she finally got him backed onto the helm controls._

 _Her fingers curled around his neck, and her breathing became ragged._

 _He would feel what he had made her feel._

 _Pain._

* * *

 _"Why I went back for you …"_

* * *

 _"Oh, I didn't say anything," Nyota told her matter of factly. Then, after a moment's pause, she continued. "Actually, I'd be happy to speak if you're willing to listen to me." As much as she could admit to loving her, Penelope firmly believed that Nyota truly did have the worst timing._

 _"Guys," the captain warned, turning his head back, but Penelope could feel the stirrings of unresolved anger flutter in her breast._

 _"Lieutenant, I would prefer to discuss this in private."_

 _"You would prefer not to discuss this at all, that's what you-"_

 _"Our current concern-"_

 _"Are you guys really going to do this right now?" Jim asked in irritation._

* * *

 _The feel of heat seeping through her protective suit, the rage of the volcano soon to overtake her completely. Feel nothing. Nothing at all._

 _Must not give in._

* * *

 _Anger, an all encompassing burning that started in her toes and ended in the hand around Kirk's throat. Nothing else mattered but proving to Kirk that she did feel, and felt more deeply than he could ever possibly understand. Stuck between two worlds always, never belonging anywhere, but her mother had never doubted her. Now one of the worlds was gone, and the other was in deep peril._

 _And now she was dead, just as Penelope was finally going to be the one to protect instead of being the one protected._

 _"Spock!" her father called, and though she continued to choke the cadet, her mind turned to the way her father had never been able to win an argument with her mother. Vulcan logic never could defeat human passion._

 _But right now, it needed to._

 _She released Kirk's throat, and as he coughed, she turned and faced Nyota._

 _Disappointment._

* * *

 _"Because you are my friend," she finished when Jim could not._

 _A tear finally escaped and flooded down her cheek. She did not know the last time she had cried, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the way Jim's gaze met hers with an understanding that transcended logic._

 _Friends._

 _Jim couldn't keep holding up, and his eyes blinked more rapidly, his breathing increasingly pained. Her friend's hand placed itself clumsily on the glass, a gesture to seek comfort._

* * *

 _"Spock, I'm telling you. This is why he called. I can feel it," the captain said as they walked along. Her Starfleet uniform hugged her comfortingly, and her boots hit the ground with a dulled clacking sound._

 _"Your feeling aside," Penelope informed the captain. "I consider it highly unlikely that we will be selected for the new program." Their ship's crew remained too young and too inexperienced to take on a mission so risky. Not to mention the fact that they had violated the Prime Directive recently._

 _"Well, why else would Pike want to see us?" the captain inquired. "Forget about seniority. They gave us the newest ship in the fleet. I mean, who else are they going to send out?" She inwardly shook her head._

 _"I can think of numerous possibilities," Penelope said in exasperation, but Kirk ignored her comment, spinning around to walk backwards and make a presumptuously victorious gesture._

 _"A five year mission Spock," Jim exclaimed, slapping her on the chest twice. "That's deep space." She was aware. "That's uncharted territory, think how incredible that's going to be." Penelope knew it would be pointless to remind the captain that they had not yet received the mission._

 _Humans could be so strange._

 _"Hey, ladies. Jim Kirk," the captain said in a different tone of voice, turning back around to stare as they walked._

 _At least the captain had never looked at Nyota like that._

* * *

 _She raised her hand in solidarity, fingers spreading on the glass to mirror the farewell of her Vulcan heritage. Jim's fingers mimicked the action, and the tears continued to flow._

 _Live long and prosper._

 _The dampness on her cheeks could not sufficiently express the inner turmoil she felt, the dueling emotions of sorrow and fury._

 _It was not fair._

 _And as her friend's fingers slid down the glass, his eyes turned a milky blue._

 _Jim died as he lived, smiling._

 _It should be her there. Her, not him._

 _He should not have died at all._

 _Rage._

* * *

 _"You asked me once," her father began, "why I married your mother." She waited patiently for what he had to say, even as his eyes searched her face. Penelope did not know what he was looking for, but he seemed to find it anyways._

 _"I married her because I loved her."_

* * *

Penelope and Spock were alone in a room she was now somehow familiar with. It was his room as a child, and she observed with amusement the large teddy bear in the corner. A very ferocious looking teddy bear.

Spock seated himself on the neatly made bed, the covers a simple grey color.

"I have given you refuge in my mind," he stated, and she knew him now like she had never known any other person in the universe. She had been him, had been one with him, in all the darkest moments and all the times he had failed. "It was to protect you as I attempted to heal the damage within your own subconscious."

"I am okay now?" Penelope asked, and she realized suddenly that they weren't speaking with their mouths. It jolted her slightly, but she shrugged it off with the next comment from Spock.

"I cannot say for sure. I have certainly tried to the best of my abilities," he admitted, and he sounded weary. Her worry reached him wordlessly. "I am fatigued by the effort. If you relapse again, I do not know …"

"You don't think you could bring me back," Penelope completed.

Spock nodded and sighed. "I find that I feel ... guilty."

"You're only human," Penelope told him, going forward to sit beside him. "It's no one's fault."

"I have seen your memories," Spock told her, and if she had not seen his own, she might have felt violated. Instead, it seemed only fair now. "I wish to apologize, if this is the last chance we will have to speak."

"Apologize?" Penelope wondered in confusion.

"I once accused you of being a spy, basing my conclusion on facts that were incomplete, and thus no longer facts. I felt that I had been mistaken in allowing you to serve on our ship, and I berated myself for the error of trusting your intentions."

"I don't always do a good job of explaining myself," Penelope allowed fairly, placing a hand on Spock's forearm.

"I was wrong. And I have seen you, in all respects, and so I say with sincerity that I am sorry for misjudging you."

Penelope shrugged. "It's forgotten."

Spock struggled for a moment, so Penelope waited patiently with her hand remaining on him. "I fear … that if you die, the crew will not handle the loss well. I worry for them now. I worry for what will happen in your absence."

"You must fight," Spock implored, eyes searching hers.

"When have I not," Penelope smiled.

Spock only nodded. "I must return you to your own mind."

"How?" Penelope questioned, and Spock removed her hand and stood up.

"Think of yourself. Who you are, the person you have been and continue to be. We must not continue to meld, so you need to separate yourself completely from me."

"I don't think I judged you well, either," Penelope admitted after some thought, standing up as well. "You see things in ways I never could. If these are my final words, Spock, then I'm glad it was you who got to hear them."

Spock locked eyes with her again, pausing in his movements. His hand extended up, fingers spreading in a now familiar gesture.

"Live long and prosper, Penelope Waters."

With a smile tugging at her lips, she raised her hand in reciprocation. "Live long and prosper, Spock."

"And if this is it for me, tell everyone I said goodbye. Tell them that this was an adventure, and that I was privileged to be there alongside them, for however long I was able."

She could feel herself being sucked back into her own head. Penelope thought of who she was, the people she had been. She was an engineer, a Starfleet officer, a criminal. A daughter, a cousin, a friend, a niece, a lover, a fighter, a hero, a coward. She was so many things all at once, and that was okay.

She was important, and she was expendable.

She was Penelope. She was Waters. She was Wrenchy. She was the Assistant Chief.

She was human, and she was a monster. She only drank coffee because Johnny had gotten her hooked on it, and she hated mustard with a passion.

She lived. If she had to die, she'd go down fighting.

"And tell Scotty," Penelope said at the last moment, fading from Spock. "Tell him I said that ... that it was my honor to have gone there in his place."

"I will," Spock assured her, his hand still held up in farewell.

Death is not the end. It's an adventure.

Her adventure.

"Goodbye."

 **A/N: So ... it ended up being twenty one chapters in its entirety.**

 **As always, thanks so much for reading, for the reviews that you all have given, and for everybody who stuck around for an OC-centric story. I know that's not everyone's cup of tea, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways.**

 **Obviously, many parts of this chapter came from Star Trek and Into Darkness.**

 **The sequel will be called _U.S.S. Enterprise: A Doctor's Call_ , so look out for it soon.**


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